Labor of  Love

 Pondering Justin Taylor

I stood there for quite a while, just watching the young, blond man sleeping peacefully. It was a very quiet sleep -- the kind where you almost wonder if the person is still breathing. Fortunately, the gentle rise and fall of his back was reassuring, or else I might have been compelled to do something as lesbianic as reaching my hand out in front of his face to feel for his breath. That thought alone made me cringe, being that the worried "mother hen" act is so not my style.

I continued to gaze down at his sleeping form, my eyes scanning over the pale, creamy skin, and longish silky blond hair that fell across his face. So beautiful, irresistibly fresh, and inexperienced. There was so much that I wanted to show him. So much I couldn't wait for him to know and accept and want.

I knew that his inner demons were fighting him on everything and telling him that this was all wrong; that he shouldn't be at the Island. But every instinct I had told me that deep down, there was a part of himself that knew that wasn't true. And truth be told, I never would have proceeded had I not felt that way. I would have sent him on a plane back home, just as he'd requested; no questions asked.

But I knew he wanted to be there. Maybe even needed to be there. It was written on his face, heard in his voice, and shown in his mannerisms. I'm never wrong about these things.

The moment my hand came down and slapped his ass the first time, it was confirmed that my instincts had indeed been right. I'd watched him carefully for a reaction. He'd looked so conflicted. His eyes had gone wide with surprise, and his cheeks flushed with embarrassment. Then finally, a look which I immediately recognized as lust, spread across his face.

It made me want to fuck the shit out of him.

His expression said it all. He didn't want to like it; that much was apparent, and he obviously was having a hard time accepting it. I observed closely with patience, as he dealt with his inner struggle to either give into his true feelings or to continue to deny them, and I could see denial was losing the battle when I noticed the tip of his dick start to leak - even as he insisted that he didn't like what I was doing to him; didn't like my hand punishing his luscious bottom. A bottom that was MADE for this. Made for punishing; made for licking, squeezing, biting and eating, and most definitely made for fucking.

It wasn't too often that we had a new member such as Justin; someone who was fresh into the scene, knew nothing about it, and had so much pain and fear locked up within themselves. He seemed so timid. You could see it in his eyes that he had a lot of emotions he'd been suppressing for who knows how many years, and it was my job to help him to release some of that.

Ben had been right. The kid was fucked up.

3 MONTHS EARLIER...

When Lydia, my secretary had informed me on the intercom that Ben Bruckner was waiting on the line, my brows furrowed in wonder and amusement. "Thanks," I told her, and picked up the receiver.

"It's been a while, Professor," I said, leaning back in my chair and smiling.

"Yes, it has. How are you, Brian?" he asked.

"Still going strong, and still on top... in every way possible," I smirked.

Ben laughed. "No surprise there."

"So, Professor, what can I do for you? Something tells me you didn't call me in the middle of the day to play catch-up," I said, wanting to cut through the bullshit.

Ben laughed again. "Perceptive as always."

"It happens to come in handy in both lines of my work."

"I imagine it does."

"So, what's up?" I urged again, getting annoyed with the small-talk.

"I'm actually calling to talk to you about a guy --"

I chuckled as I cut him off. "Professor, are you asking me for love advice? I'm flattered, but really, I thought you knew better than to ask me about this sort of thing," I smirked.

I heard Ben chuckle. "No, it's nothing like that. He's just a friend. I've actually been concerned about him, and I wanted to talk to you about what you think about him maybe going to the Island," Ben said.

I sat up in my chair, definitely intrigued. "Well, that all depends. Tell me a little about him. Is he into the scene?" I asked.

"No... not at all, actually."

"So why would you think he'd want to go to La Isla, then?"

"Because I think that if he goes there, it may help him to release some of the emotional turmoil he's been suppressing over the years."

I sighed. "Ben, look. I take the admission process very seriously, especially when it comes to new members and people who have never been into the scene and are curious to try it out. That is the whole reason for the extensive interviews and background checks. You know that I can't just let anyone go to La Isla. There is a whole process that needs to be done before I will even consider anyone as a member," I told him.

"I understand that, Brian, and I'm not suggesting that you just let him in, no questions asked. I would expect and hope that you would do everything you normally do when reviewing new applicants."

I glanced at my watch and frowned. I had a meeting with a client in few minutes.

"Listen, Ben, sorry to cut you off, but we'll have to talk about this later. I have a meeting to get to," I told him, gathering up some papers and putting them into my briefcase.

"All right. When would be a good time for us to talk some more about this?"

"Actually, I'm going to be flying into Pittsburgh in a few days for business. Why don't we meet for dinner then and discuss this in person?" I suggested.

Three days later, Ben and I met at an Italian restaurant near Liberty Avenue. As we ate, we chatted about our jobs and lives and then finally about his friend, Justin Taylor, whom he explained had been going through a rough time.

"I think now that Dylan has left, he's convinced himself that he's just not worthy of being loved by anyone. It's been one disappointment after another for him over the years, and now it's like he's given up. He's not the same person anymore. He's become more hard, more cynical. He's not excited about anything anymore. The only thing he's still passionate about right now is his work."

Sounded familiar. Too familiar. "When a person doesn't have anything left but their work, it can become a lifeline," I said quietly. I knew all about that.

"I just want him to be happy, that's all. He deserves it," Ben told me.

I nodded. "I can understand that. What you haven't told me yet, though, is what Justin thinks about all of this?"

"Well, actually... he freaked out a little bit. He thought I was insane for even bringing it up."

"Oh, well, it sounds like he'll be a great candidate," I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm.

Ben smiled. "Give me a little credit, Brian."

I rolled my eyes at him. "Okay, so what was your brilliant plan?"

"I left Jeff's number with him, in case he changed his mind," Ben said, with a menacing smile.

I laughed. "Why, Professor, I never knew you could be so manipulative."

"I wouldn't go as far as saying that I'm manipulative. I just presented him with an opportunity and left it up to him, is all."

"Right," I smirked.

"Well, I think it's paying off. He's met with Jeff and they had a nice talk. The last time I spoke with him he seemed to be considering submitting an application."

"Yeah, well, don't get too excited yet. One step at a time. We'll see how the evaluation and interview check out."

"I think he'll do fine. Jeff seems to think so too."

"And how is that hot cousin of yours?" I asked with a smile, and felt my pants tighten a little just thinking of him. Jeff was always a pleasure to have at the Island every year. He was an excellent submissive.

"He's doing good. I was actually planning to meet with him later on tonight at Babylon. Why don't you join us?"

"I might just do that."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

To be honest, I hadn't expected Justin to even show up for the interview. From what I'd heard from Ben and Jeff, he'd been awfully hesitant about the whole thing. So when I got the call from Ted saying that Justin's interview had been completed and things seemed to be in order, I was a bit surprised.

"How did it go?" I'd asked Ted.

"Well, it went. Mr. Taylor seemed very nervous and it was obvious how difficult it was for him to try to be open, especially with a stranger. He was very hesitant and shy."

"Well that's certainly something he'll have to overcome quickly if he ends up being accepted," I said. "So what's your overall prognosis?"

"Honestly? He's gonna be work, boss."

Weeks later, when it came down to deciding which applicants would be accepted to La Isla Erotica, I sat at my desk with Justin's information, application, and photo in my hands, and took my time as I contemplated. I had to admit he was fucking hot, and that was already reason enough to persuade me. I thoroughly watched his interview, paying close attention to his body language and to the way he answered his questions, and the possible meanings behind some of his answers.

Ted was right, the kid was going to be fucking work. But, if Justin was willing to give this all a chance, I was more than willing to try to help him.

My decision made, I promptly stamped an "APPROVED" on the front of Justin Taylor's application.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

As I continued watching my newest sub as he slept, it occurred to me that I could be making a mistake, and that maybe I shouldn't have been so quick to take this case on, myself. Originally, I hadn't planned on it. When I'd gotten the brief back story on Justin Taylor from Ben and Jeff, and had watched his interview, I'd had an idea of how he might react once he reached the Island, and immediately, a few "Superior" staff members came to mind, that I knew would be perfect to train him. However, for some reason, after my first run-in with Justin at the Intro Assembly, I found myself silently volunteering to take on the challenge of training this young man myself.

I'm a good Dom and Master. I know that. The fact that I absolutely love doing it is a bonus. I'm aware that I have the natural charge and ability to take control, give tremendous pleasure and to protect, and I do my best to make sure everyone involved is satisfied. That is my responsibility. I've always known where to draw the line when it comes to my work. I know how to be a good Master and Dom without letting things get too personal.

Sure, there had been subs I'd trained who'd tried to get me to cross that line. I would then have to explain to them that I had a rule about not mixing my personal life with my work, period. There was no reason for me to get personally involved with a sub. I wasn't looking for a relationship at all, and I definitely wasn't planning on opening up to anyone on an intimate or emotional level. That was a whole other ballpark, and it would mean that I would have to let down some barriers; to give up some control, which was something that I wasn't willing to do for anyone.

But for some reason, the situation with Justin Taylor seemed different to me, already. I felt the need to take on the responsibility for this young man while he was at the Island. I knew that he wasn't the person he presented himself to be. There was so much more to him. A lot more than I'd bet he, himself, didn't even know. And I'd wanted to be the one to bring it to surface and unleash it. I wanted to dig deep inside and help him to release whatever it was that he needed to release. I wanted to help set him free.

I don't know if he'd realized it or not, but I doubted that he knew what he was in for when he'd decided to come to the Island or that his life would inevitably change. Upon his arrival, it seemed that he'd been clutching at every excuse to stay closed-minded and to continue trying to withdraw into himself. However, when I'd laid the offer on the table back in room "0", his demeanor had already started to change, and I knew I had him. It was as if he were really understanding for the first time, how things worked, and he wanted to know more. It was too tempting for him to just turn away.

I thought back to earlier in the evening, when I saw the young blond practically pushed on stage; and how his skin had flushed with embarrassment as he looked out over the hollering crowd. Then it was as if something inside of him had compelled him to just let go, and he'd shed off his robe and started dancing to the music. It was then that I got my first good look at his ass and was impressed by the movement in his hips as he kept up with the rhythm of the song that was playing on the loud speakers. The audience loved him already and were hooting and whistling at him, which was no surprise. Not only was he beautiful... he was also fresh meat.

When he'd walked over to me, I had a strong urge to laugh at his determined and defiant expression. Of course, had I done that, I knew he'd never take me seriously, so I just kept on my serious face and let him dig himself into a hole. I wasn't going to make things easy for him. He was on my turf, and the simple matter of the fact was: My island, my rules. He couldn't expect that I would tolerate his rude attitude without putting him in his place. Fuck, the look on his face when I told him to get the fuck down on his knees had been priceless. And then, that's when I saw it; shock, embarrassment, fear, humiliation, and... he was turned on! I'm sure he didn't think I would know, but of course I knew. It's my job to know.

He fucking loved it.

It was then that I really knew that he needed this, and even more, that he wanted this. Maybe he wasn't willing to admit it to anyone else or to even himself, but I knew he wanted it. So, I gave it to him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~

I found myself kneeling down and smoothing a piece of his silky hair away from his face as he continued to sleep so soundly. "I can help you, Blue Eyes. I just hope that you'll let me," I whispered softly. I then stood up and left him to his slumber, closing the double doors behind me before going into the next room to sit at my desk.

Opening the bottom desk drawer, I quickly sought out Justin Taylor's file and pulled it out to look through it. Inside, I found Ted's notes from Justin's interview and evaluation, his photo, which was attached to his application, and his questionnaire. Also inside, were his lab results, background check information, and a DVD inside a protected jacket, marked "Justin Taylor's Interview" in black ink. I'd remembered the interview well, but planned on watching it again to refresh my memory of what I was going to be dealing with.

After looking through the file and reading through Justin's information, I pulled out a blank composition book, and started to log the events that had taken place that evening with Justin, making sure to list all the important details.

This was something all the "Superiors" were told to do with the men they trained. It was a good way to track the trainees' progress, and also to recognize their weaknesses and strengths. Not everything had to be recorded, but any notes, comments or important things about the trainee that should be known to anyone else who trained or played with said member, was to be written in there for everyone's sake, to ensure a smoother, safer, and hopefully more pleasurable transition.

After I'd finished logging the events of Justin's first night at the Island, I found myself eying the DVD with his interview on it. I sighed and removed the disk from its jacket, and popped it into the DVD drive on my computer. I plugged my headphones in so that I could have the volume up without disturbing Justin.

A nervous looking Justin Taylor soon appeared on the screen, and I felt my cock react. He looked unbelievably hot as he sat there in his casual jeans and button up shirt.

"So, Justin Taylor, age 25..." I heard Ted's voice ask.

"That's right." Justin briefly looked into the camera and smiled shyly.

"It says here that you're a photographer and an artist. You graduated from PIFA? I'm impressed. Here at Kinnetic, we have students from PIFA who intern for us. It's a very difficult school to get into. You must be very talented."

"I've been told." The kid was blushing. I knew now that his modesty was not just an act.

"Okay, Mr. Taylor, I'm going to ask you a series of questions, and even though some of them may be difficult or seem embarrassing, I just want you to answer me as honestly as you can. All right?"

"Okay. But please call me Justin."

"Of course. So Justin, how did you hear about our resort?"

"A friend of a friend has been going to your resort for the last five years."

"On your application you marked that you have no previous experience with BD/SM. Why do you think that La Isla Erotica is a place you'd be interested in going to?"

I watched Justin's unsure expression as he shook his head and stared at his hands.

"I'm not sure, exactly. It was recommended to me, and when I spoke to my friend about it, there were some things he said to me, that made me believe that maybe this could be something that would help me to get over some issues I've had."

"You mention in here that your last boyfriend left you and that was part of the reason for your decision to submit an application to our resort. Could you tell me a little about that?"

My ears perked up at that. Justin looked uncomfortable as he hesitated in his answer, and ran his fingers through his hair nervously.

"Um... I knew it was my fault." He looked away guiltily.

"You think you could you elaborate?"

"My relationship with Dylan had been going downhill for a while before he left. We often fought over the fact that he thinks that I am too uptight. He always said that I wasn't willing to be spontaneous or take chances..."

He paused.

"When it came to our sex life he said that I was a good lover but that he wished that I would be more open. I guess I'm not very adventurous," he said, and blushed again.

"And in your sexual relationships, would you say that you're mostly dominant, subservient, or both?"

"Um... I mean, I'm versatile, but I guess I feel more comfortable being a 'top'. I don't know if that's what you mean..."

"Would you say that your personality is more dominant or subservient?"

Justin shrugged. "I've never really thought about it. I guess I'm not that great at making decisions, so maybe that would mean that I'm more subservient in that aspect."

"Hmm, okay," Ted said, and paused for a moment. "All right, now for the big questions..."

I turned the volume up and leaned in closer to the monitor, as if by doing that I wouldn't have a chance in missing anything important.

Justin sighed and his body seemed to tense up even more, as he waited for Ted to continue with his questioning.

"I promise to make this as quick and painless as possible," I heard Ted chuckle. However, Justin didn't look a bit amused. In fact, he looked as if he wanted to run out of the room.

"That was just a little joke to try to help you relax, Justin."

'Theodore and his fucking jokes,' I thought cynically, as I rolled my eyes.

"Oh... Sorry, I'm just so nervous."

"No, don't apologize. I completely understand how this could be nerve wracking for you. If you'd like to take a moment to collect yourself, that would be fine. Just tell me when you're ready to continue. All right?"

"No, I'm - I mean, I'm fine. Go ahead."

"You're sure?"

"Yeah."

"All right."

I watched Justin take a deep breath and give Ted a reassuring smile. 'Fuck,' I thought. 'He has a killer smile, and a gorgeous mouth, and shit, I just want to --'

"Do you have fantasies, Justin?" I heard Ted's voice interrupt my thoughts.

Justin's face went red again, and he smiled a little as he shrugged. "Doesn't everyone?"

"Well, yes, that's true. But you know, it's a very common thing for people not to communicate their sexual wants and needs to their partners, mostly because they're afraid of what others will think of them if they knew what those wants and needs were. It's part of our job to help fulfill your deepest desires and fantasies while you're at the Island."

"You expect me to tell you my fantasies?"

"Well, yes. We need to know so that we can help create that illusion for you - otherwise, you could end up unsatisfied and it won't work," Ted explained.

 Justin suddenly looked into the camera and then back in Ted's direction.

"Um, does he have to be here during this part?"

"Would it make you feel more comfortable if the cameraman left the room?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah."

"Steve, if you wouldn't mind, would you please step out of the room and just leave the camera running? In fact, if you'd like, go ahead and take a lunch break. I'll probably be calling you back in here in about a half an hour," Ted's voice said.

"Sure thing," I heard Steve say, and soon heard a door close.

"Okay, Justin. It's just us now."

"Thanks.... um... Honestly, though, I'm not really sure what to say..."

"Okay, then let's start with what some of your fantasies are," Ted suggested.

"I... don't know if I can do that."

"It's not my job to judge, Justin. Trust me; you won't say anything that will shock me, I've heard it all. Also, anything you say on camera is confidential. The only person who will see this interview is Mr. Kinney."

I'd forgotten how good Ted was at this. Most of the applicants didn't have much trouble opening up about their fantasies. Once in a while we'd get a shy guy, but Ted always had a way of helping them to loosen up a bit.

I watched Justin relax a little as he nodded, seemingly satisfied with what Ted was telling him. "I'm not even sure where to start..."

"Maybe I can help. What's something that you've never told anyone that you find sexually exciting?"

Justin sighed and looked at his hands again, and when he spoke again, it was almost a whisper.

"I can remember when I was 13, there was this movie that I saw on late night cable..."

"Are you talking about soft core porn?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. Please, go on," Ted urged.

"So in this movie, this woman had been kidnapped and taken into a cabin in the woods. Her hands had been cuffed behind her, and she was blindfolded some of the time. She wasn't beaten or anything, just a bit manhandled and bound. I remember feeling intrigued."

"Why is that?"

"The kidnapper was some really hot male actor, and of course it turned out that the bad guy sort of turns into the good guy, and ends up falling for the woman. There was this hot scene between them where it sort of starts off rough and angry, but then it turns into a love scene with passionate, rough, sex. It made me really... hard."

Justin covered his face and laughed a little into his hands. "I can't believe I just told you that."

"Just relax, Justin. You're doing great," Ted said and then paused, I assumed to make some notes about what Justin was saying. "So, which parts of the movie really played into your fantasies?"

"I guess all of it... I was intrigued by the 'dangerousness' of it, and being bound and held hostage by someone who appeared to be a bad guy, but really wasn't, and to top it off, he was really hot. Then the love scene - I guess it really turned me on to see the dirty, rough sex. I haven't really done that. I mean... not like that."

 My cock was rock hard, as a ton of scenarios formed themselves into my mind. 'Yes, I could definitely help Mr. Taylor with this part,' I thought.

"So the idea of consensual force is one of your fantasies?" Ted asked.

"I've never really thought about it in that way... you know, put a label on it, but yeah, I guess it is."

"Anything else you'd like to share?"

"Well, there was this one time a couple of years ago, I was at this bar. I had to use the restroom, and when I went in, I could hear two men in one of the stalls..."

Justin blushed again, and I had to laugh. It really didn't take much to embarrass him.

"And what happened?"

"I just froze. I wasn't sure what to do. A part of me wanted to run out of there, but... well, I could hear them grunting and moaning and then one of them starting talking..."

"Could you hear what he was saying?"

Justin nodded. "Yeah... he was talking really dirty."

"And how did you react to that?"

"I got an erection."

Shit. I had an erection just listening to his story.

"You liked listening to them?"

"Yeah."

"So what did you do, if anything?"

"I uh, went into the next stall and started jerking off. I... they heard me, and knew I was in there. At first I was terrified that they would yell at me and call me a pervert. But instead, it seemed to encourage them . The moaning got louder, and then one of them said..."

"What? What did he say?"

I watched Justin lower his head and shake it, as if he couldn't believe he was repeating this story. He chuckled a bit nervously.

"He said, 'Yeah, that's it. Let him know how much you love being fucked by this cock. Let's make him cum.'"

"Did it turn you on to know that they knew you were masturbating to them having sex?"

"Yes."

"What else turned you on?"

"I liked listening to the guy talk. It was so... well, you know, it was hot. I've - well, I'm not really the type to do that during sex. I've never been able to bring myself to talk dirty in the moment. When I heard that guy say all those things, it just - well, I can't explain it. I just had this overwhelming need to touch myself. It was the first and only time I've ever done that sort of thing."

"You've never had sex in public?"

"No. I don't think I could ever do that."

'Wrong, Blue Eyes. You can, and you will,' I thought to myself.

There was a pause in their talking, and Justin let out a breath, as if he'd been holding it in forever.

"Okay, Justin, you're doing great. I really think we're getting somewhere. Are you all right? Do you need a break or anything? Can I get you some water or coffee?" Ted, the ever hospitable host asked.

"No, thanks, I'm fine. Are we almost finished?" Justin asked, almost desperately, though I'm sure he was trying to look neutral about it.

"Yes. Just a few more questions."

 "Okay."

 "In your opinion, what are some of your strengths and weaknesses?"

"I guess my strengths would be that I'm smart, a fast learner, articulate, and a hard worker..."

 I watched Justin run his fingers through his hair again before he continued.

"My weaknesses would probably be the fact that I'm not very assertive, or good at communicating my feelings. And as you have probably already figured out, I'm also shy, and can be a bit of a social phobe."

"Does it bother you to be around other people?"

"Well, it's kind of complicated. It's just... I can't stand people."

"You can't stand all people, or just people who may feel the need to judge you?"

"I'm not really good at being part of groups. I've always just kind of been my own person and had a few friends that I was close to. I like it that way."

"You do realize, that if you're accepted to the Island that you're going to be around a lot of people... and that you will have to interact with them in various ways, whether it be sexually, socially, or physically?"

"I understand. But the whole point of this is to try something new, so you know, if I have to do that, then I'll just have to deal with it when or if that happens."

'Oh, it will happen, Blue Eyes, trust me. You have no idea what's in store for you,' I thought. Then he surprised me with what he said next

"One thing I do know, is that if I can do this, I can do anything. I'm going to be forced to face a lot of my fears. I can't think of a better way to do that, than going to the Island."

So, the kid really had put a lot of thought into this. Maybe he did get it

"Okay. Well, Justin, I think we can stop here. There's a chance we may call you back for a second interview. Either way, expect to hear something from us in the mail within a couple of weeks."

"Thanks, Ted."

"It was my pleasure. Now, I'll just need for you to go with our cameraman for a few minutes so he can take your photograph..."

I exited out of the DVD program, and sighed. Yep, Justin Taylor was going to be work, alright. Frankly, I had been a little concerned that he might be in way over his head. He had no idea of the challenges he was to face - especially within the next few days.

I fixed myself a drink and then went over my notes for the next day's schedule. It was after midnight when I looked at the clock, and I sighed knowing that I needed to get to sleep - I had a long day ahead of me.

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