Fathers and Their Sons

Justin sighed as he knocked on Gus' bedroom door, preparing himself for a shouting match.

"What!" came an irritated voice on the other side.

"Gus, it's Justin. Can I come in?" He took the boy's silence as a yes, and opened the door, closing it behind him. Gus was sitting on his bed cross-legged with a sketch pad in his lap, and a pencil in his left hand. His eyes were downward, focused on what he had been drawing; and though he'd often noticed Gus was so much like Brian sometimes that it was scary, Justin realized that at this moment, ironically, Gus actually reminded him so much of himself -- especially given the current situation the boy was in.

Justin walked over to Gus' bed and sat down next to him. "Can I see?" Gus shrugged his shoulders and handed the sketch pad over. Justin was impressed as he stared into the face of a handsome young man. "This is really great, Gus," he smiled. Gus just shrugged again. He knew he was talented, but right now, all he cared about was the problem concerning his subject he'd drawn.

"What's his name?"

"Like you care," he huffed.

Justin put a hand on Gus' shoulder. "I care," he said softly.

"Adam," Gus sighed, and took back his sketch pad and closed it. He looked over at Justin, his eyes clearly defiant. "You know, he can't stop me, Justin. There's not a damn fucking thing he can do."

"I know. And he knows that too, Gus. I think that is what scares the shit out of him the most."

Gus rolled his eyes. "I thought I could at least count on him to be cool with it. I mean, he's always been the one to be on my side when the moms are totally against me. And him of all people to say that it's wrong just because Adam is a little older than me, is such bullshit!"

"And for obvious reasons, I understand that Gus, probably more than anyone, you know I do. But you have to understand that your dad --"

"Is trying to control me!"

Justin tried another approach. "Your dad loves you and he wants you to be happy, but this situation is tough for him. His son isn't just interesting in fucking someone -- which is what he would have expected -- and hell, he probably would have been happy to supply the condoms. That isn't the case here, though. You told your dad that you're in love with someone -- a man, no less..."

"Oh, come on. He took your virginity when you were my age. He was 29! Plus, you two weren't even boyfriends -- it's not the same. He's such a hypocrite."

Justin didn't have an argument for that because, well -- Gus was right. "Look. Your dad's just freaking out a little right now. Just give him some time to cool down, and I'm sure this will blow over."

"I'm not so sure about that."

"Well, honestly, with Brian, it's hard to tell sometimes. I think he'll come around though," Justin said.

"Justin... will you talk to him? He listens to you. It's not that I expect Dad to like Adam -- I know he doesn't like most people anyway. I just don't want him to make me have to choose, because that is totally fucked."

"Your dad would never make you choose, Gus," Justin assured him, and he felt a pang in his chest at the memory of his own father making him choose between being gay and being able to live at home with his family.

"Please Justin? Please talk to him?"

Talking to Brian when he was this upset was like walking into a battlefield, and normally he did his best to give Brian the space he needed until he knew it was safe to finally discuss the situation with him. But as Justin looked into those pleading hazel eyes, seeing how torn the boy was, he just couldn't say no. "I'll talk to him," he promised.

Gus smiled and gave him a hug. "Thanks."

 

***

 

Justin walked into Brian's home office, finding him at his desk rumbling through a stack of papers. Justin could tell by the aggravated look on Brian's face though that he wasn't really working -- or if he was attempting to work, he couldn't be getting much done. A glass of Jim Beam sat close by, which undoubtedly had been refilled a few times.

"Hey," Justin said, walking over to him.

Brian didn't look up from what he was doing. He's ignoring me. Not good, thought Justin. He bit his bottom lip and decided to try another tactic. He walked around the desk, turned Brian's chair so he was facing him, and sat in his lap.

"I'm working," Brian huffed, still not making eye contact with him.

"Bullshit," Justin said, and ran his fingers through the older man's hair, something he knew relaxed him. "You were pretending."

"I know why you're here and I'm telling you right now, I don't want to discuss it, so please, just... back off," Brian said, his voice tired.

"He's really upset, Brian. Do you really think it's a good idea that you leave things the way they are tonight?"

Brian sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose before finally looking at his lover. "Why do I even bother saying anything? Is it really that hard to comprehend? Let me put it in simple words that you'll understand. I. DON'T. WANT. TO. FUCKING. TALK. ABOUT. IT."

Justin refused to back down. "Well, too bad. He's your son, Brian, you can't run away from this. You need to deal with this now before it turns into something you can't fix."

"Bullshit. I fixed it when I told Gus he couldn't see that college frat asshole who is obviously only interested in one thing. End of story."

"What is the real issue here, Brian? You know that Gus is at an age where he's wanting a relationship -- like most all other teenagers on the planet."

"The issue is, he's too young."

"Do you mean he is too young to be in a relationship, or he's too young to be in a relationship with Adam because he's four years older than Gus?"

Brian shook his head in aggravation. "Both! He's too young to know what love is -- or what he thinks love is. Christ, he's only --"

"Seventeen?" Justin interjected, crossing his arms.

"No, don't even go there, Justin. What happened between you and I was not the same, and you know it."

"Because all it was to you was just fucking, right?"

Brian felt the headache that had started earlier get worse. "Jesus, we're not having this conversation again. You know that's all it was that first night. Shit, that's what you were looking for too. That was the whole point of you going to Liberty Avenue. It wasn't some storybook romance of love at first sight. You were looking to get fucking laid, not fall in love," Brian pointed out.

"I guess I just got lucky then," Justin teased, and Brian rolled his eyes in irritation, and was making a face that made Justin guess that he was probably counting backwards slowly to calm himself. It was clear that humor was not helping.

"Hey," Justin said, gently grabbing Brian's chin so that he would be forced to look at him. He knew he had the man right where he wanted him -- literally. Brian had no choice but to listen to what he had to say.

"I know this may be hard for you to accept, but Gus is not a little boy anymore. He's a young man who has real feelings and emotions. Adam may not be the right guy for him, but if he isn't, we need to let Gus find that out for himself, and do you know why? Because if you go marching in there and tell him that he can't see this guy, he's going to rebel, Brian -- well, first he's going to get very angry -- then you bet your ass he's going see the guy anyway, only then he'd be sneaking around and lying about it. Wouldn't you rather us know what's going on in our son's life than be faced with the fact that he's probably disobeying us anyway and may be going to lengths that are unsafe to do so?"

Brian sighed and leaned his head forward so that their foreheads were touching. "I fucking hate it when you're logical... and even more when you're right," he said, and Justin leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. Brian returned the kiss, deepening it, trying to express words that somehow couldn't make it to his mouth to say out loud. Though Justin never made an issue out of it, Brian knew that the younger man liked to hear the words once in a while, but even so, even after all these year, it was still evident to both of them that words weren't necessary to show how they felt about each other.

When they finally broke the kiss, Justin gave Brian the smile he loved so much. "You and Gus have always had a great relationship. Don't fuck it up over a boyfriend that likely won't even last a couple of months," he told him, and that got a small chuckle out of his lover.

"I don't want him to get hurt," Brian said, his voice not able to conceal his worry.

"Brian, you can't prevent that; it happens. We've all been hurt at one time or another, and unfortunately, it's inevitable he'll have to go through it, whether it be now or ten years from now. I'm sure he'll break a few hearts along the way, too. That's life."

"And I'm just supposed to sit back and wait -- just watch it happen and not do a fucking thing about it? There has to be something that I can do." Brian said with a frown.

"Yeah, there is. Support him," Justin said, and with that, kissed Brian on the cheek, then got up and left the room, knowing that was his cue to leave him alone.

 

***

 

Gus was laying on his bed with his music blaring thinking about Adam and already mentally formulating plans in his head to be able to see him. Suddenly he noticed his father standing in his bedroom. Gus quickly sat up and frowned. "Don't you know how to knock?"

Brian shrugged. "I did knock, but you couldn't hear it over that God-awful shit you listen to," he replied, and went over to his son's stereo and turned the volume down. "We need to talk."

"Shit, I don't think I've ever heard you say that before," Gus said.

"Well, it just goes to show how serious I am about this," Brian told him.

Gus crossed his arms across his chest. "Dad, I'm not going to stop seeing Adam," he told his father. It was clear to Brian that his son had made up his mind and was not going to back down.

Brian took a deep breath and sighed. "Okay."

Gus gave his father a confused look. "Okay? Just okay? No, it can't be that easy. You never just give in like that," he said, with a raised brow.

"I said, 'okay', I didn't say that I was happy about it. The main thing is I want my son to be open and honest with me, and I know that if I told you that you couldn't see this Aaron --"

"Adam," Gus corrected.

"Whatever. If I forbade you to see him, you'd just do it behind my back, and I know that would probably lead to you lying about other things, and I don't want that. Honesty has always been an important thing between us, and I don't want you to ever feel like you can't tell me things," Brian told him.

"Then you're really okay with me having a boyfriend that is older than me?" Gus asked.

"I still don't like it, and you better fucking believe that if this guy brings you home drunk, high or after curfew, not only will I chew him another asshole, but your ass will be grounded. And if I find out he's not using protection, I swear I will kick the shit out of him, and he will not be allowed to step through this house. Is that clear?"

"Duh. I'm not stupid, you know. I know all about sex safe. You, Justin, Ben and Debbie have all burned it into my brain ever since I could understand what it meant," Gus said, rolling his eyes. "But as far as the drugs and alcohol goes, you know, Michael told me that you used to get drunk and high with Justin all the time. Now you're saying I can't do those things?"

Brian resisted banging his own head against the wall. Fucking Mikey always had to open his mouth and tell Gus things about him that came back to haunt him later. "Yeah, well, Mikey also told you once that Captain Astro would leave you ten bucks under your pillow if you believed in him."

Gus just laughed. "Whatever. You just don't want to admit you're a hypocrite."

"Bottom line is, I make the fucking rules in this house, and if you don't like it you can go spend a week or two with your moms and see how much they'll let you get away with before you come crawling back to my horrible rules. Or I can just change my mind on this whole fucking thing, how's that?" Brian warned.

"No need to get hasty, everything is cool. I heard you. Everything is clear as crystal," Gus told his dad, with an exaggerated smile.

"Good." Brian turned to leave.

"What, no great big fatherly bear hug to seal the deal?" Gus smirked.

Brian turned around to face his son and laughed. "Little shit."

Gus started laughing along with him, but surprised Brian when he actually did get off his bed and go to his father and gave him a brief hug. "Thanks for trusting me, Dad," he said.

"I hope it always stays that way with us," Brian said.

"So... when can I bring Adam over for dinner to meet the 'rents?"

"Over my fucking dead corpse, that's when," Brian said, and left the room.

Gus couldn't contain the smile on his face, and immediately grabbed his cell phone to call his boyfriend.

 

***

 

Gus quickly ushered Adam outside the house and down the driveway to his boyfriend's vehicle. He could tell the older man was glad to be leaving the Britin residence.

"Your dad fucking freaks me out," Adam said, as they got into his truck.

"Yeah, he's real scary," Gus answered nonchalantly, and started scanning the radio stations as they drove off.

"Are you sure he's not going to have me arrested or something?" Adam asked. He had been extremely intimidated by Mr. Kinney, which was probably what the man had wanted. Still, he was disturbed by it.

"No, don't worry. It's cool."

"Then why was he looking at me that way all throughout dinner?" Adam asked.

"What way?"

"Like he had poisoned the food when no one was looking and was waiting for me to choke and die."

Gus started laughing. "That was just him making his position clear," Gus said.

"Yeah, well, he scares the shit out of me."

"I think that's the whole point."

"Your other dad though, he seems cool."

"Justin's way cool. And it's important to get on his good side, because he's the only one that can tame my dad," Gus chuckled.

"I'll remember that."

The couple parked and made their way to Babylon, hand-in-hand.

"Remember, no drinking," Adam reminded, as they walked into the club. "The last thing I need is a reason to piss off your father," he said with a slight smile.

"Are you sure you can handle being in a relationship with me?" Gus smiled, and pulled his boyfriend close to him. "You may have quite a challenge ahead of you where my family is concerned -- there's still a whole clan of crazy family members you haven't met yet who are very protective of me."

"I'm up to the challenge," Adam replied, and kissed the younger man soundly before dragging him to the dance floor.

The End.