“Snow,” John mumbled to himself as he began to clear his end of the table.  With John’s hands full of dishes, Bobby got up to do his share, as did Hunter and Justin.  The latter three had a lot of experience bussing and waiting tables.  The ladies of the family were instructed to remain seated, Debbie and Claire requiring several reminders.

“What about it?” Brian asked as he filled several wine glasses.

“It’s going to be bad,” John grumbled.

“How do you know?”  Brian asked as he raised a curious brow.  It was only five in the evening but it had grown dark.  John flipped on the switch for the outside flood lights, Mr. Ribbit was already buried.

“That’s how I know,” John replied as he pointed toward the rapidly disappearing garden.  John had another load of dishes in his hands to take into the kitchen.  Emmett’s washing, drying and cleaning crews were hard at work, the dishwasher humming away.  Coffee and tea were brewing and dessert dishes were being loaded onto trays to be taken into the sun porch.

“John, we’ve had snow before,” Brian quipped.

“Not like this, little bro, come with me,” John said as he led Brian into his end of the cottage, he had a small TV on in his kitchen.  The Weather Channel was displaying the forecast along with the doppler radar. 

“What am I looking at?”

“The storm of the season, if not the century,” John said as he stared at the screen.

“Big bro, I have never known you to exaggerate, why start now?”

“This is no exaggeration, Brian.  This one hit hard and fast and without warning.  The gods in Chicago and in Canada must not like us.  Two waves of weather have collided and decided to dump several feet of the white stuff on the entire Eastern portion of the United States.  Now, we have a house full of people who are going to be snowbound.  What are we going to do with them all?”

Brian stood staring at the TV.  The traffic cameras covering all the major highways up and down the Eastern seaboard were all showing the same thing, snow.  So much snow that the plows were having trouble coping.  The only saving grace was it was a major holiday and a Sunday.  Anyone who needed to be someplace was hopefully already there and safe.

Brian squeezed his eyes shut then pinched his nose for a moment.  John could see the wheels turning in Brian’s head.

“First, we serve dessert, then Santa gives out the presents.  Between us we have four houses to put up all these people for the next few days.  We’ll figure out something.”

“How can you be so calm about this?”

“John, a week ago I thought my life was coming to an end.  Who gives a shit about a few fucking snowflakes?”  Brian gave his brother a peck on the cheek then turned on his heels to walk back into the sun porch. 

“Oh, yeah,” John said with a lopsided grin then followed Brian out. 

*****

“Sunshine, a word, please,” Brian murmured as he took Justin’s arm to lead him into their bedroom.  Brian kicked the door shut with his foot then bestowed a toe curling kiss on his spouse’s lips.  When Justin could open his eyes, he saw Brian smirking at him.

“What brought this on?”  Justin asked as he was trying to catch his breath.

“I don’t know, must be the snow,” Brian said with his tongue stuck in his cheek.  Justin swatted him on the ass.  Brian pulled Justin in close then tucked a stray lock of blond hair behind an ear.  He bent his head to whisper into Justin’s ear.  “I love you, Justin.  I just needed a quiet moment to tell you that.”

Justin gazed up into Brian’s eyes, the blue eyes shining with joy and unshed tears.

“Love you too, Brian.  More than anything, I love you.”  The lovers kissed again then hugged each other tightly.  They were about to go back out to the family when Justin stopped.  “Bri, what did you mean about the snow?”

“John, our own hippy dippy weather man, has informed me that we’re going to be stuck with these people for the next few days.  He wants to know where we’re going to put them all.”

Justin appeared to contemplate the situation.  “I have no idea but we have plenty of food and in the morning we can have one hell of a snowball fight.  Do we really need to make a decision now?  I mean, can it wait until after Santa?”  Justin’s blue eyes sparkled.

“Yeah, dessert and Santa first, sleeping arrangements later, Sunshine.”

“Yee Haw!” Justin exclaimed then giggled.

“Come on, little boy, let’s see what Santa brought you.”  Brian bussed Justin’s head as they walked back into the porch.

The gifts were always labeled with the person's name that the gift was intended for and then they were signed from Santa, so supposedly no one would know who had provided the gift.  Quite often though, it was possible to figure out who the gift came from.  Ted was notorious for his obscene sexual items like the cock sock he had given Michael at his long ago birthday party.  Emmett usually found something truly weird and wonderful.  Everyone tried to find something unique and different.  That was the challenge.

All the family was arranged around the sun porch.  Some sat on chairs.  Others lounged on cushions on the floor.  Couples leaned against each other and Bree and Patrick were all revved up to get another present.

The storm continued to rage outside, but nobody paid it much attention, except for John.  He kept glancing out the windows, noting that the level of the snow continued to rise.  Bree's frog had long since disappeared from view.  He wondered if they would be able to get the doors open to get outside.  John looked around the room.  People were chatting and laughing, enjoying a beer or some mulled wine.  With a sigh he concentrated on the events that were about to unfold.

"Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls," Brian called out.  "It's time for the Santa gifts."

"Yay!" Emmett squealed.  He was always the most enthusiastic about this enterprise.

"Hold your horses, Honeycutt!  We haven't got to yours yet."

"But I can hardly wait, and don't call me Honeycutt."

Brian stuck his tongue in his cheek and glared at the tall queen.

"Dada," Bree said tugging on the leg of her father's jeans.  "Presents."

"Yes, Squirt.  Time for presents," Brian agreed as he leaned down to kiss her cheek.

"Love you, Dada."

"I love you too," Brian said feeling emotion rise in his throat.  It was so good to be home with his family, and he was all right, no cancer, nothing to worry about.  He felt Bree's little arms go around his neck.  He hugged her close as he stood up bringing her along with him.  He held her in his arms realizing how heavy and how big she was getting.  She would soon be all grown up. 

Brian felt emotion wash over him.  He knew he wanted to be there for her first date.  He'd torment the little fucker who dared to ask his daughter out.  He wanted to see her married and happy.

"Pop," Gus said at his elbow.

"Yeah," Brian replied taking a deep breath and trying to regain his equilibrium.  He took the Santa hat that Gus handed him and plopped it on his head, much to the delight of all present.  "I'm ready," he said as he set Bree down and took the present that Gus held out to him.  "This one seems to be for our very own Emmett.  Here ya go, Honeycutt."

Emmett was too excited to complain about Brian calling him Honeycutt.  He squealed with glee as Bree carried the little bundle over to him.

"Here, Auntie Emm," Bree said, handing him the package.

"Thank you, sweetheart."  Emmett took the wrapped bundle and then kissed Bree's cheek.  She ran back to her father as Emmett tore off the wrapping paper.  "Oh my fucking God!" Emmett exclaimed.  "It's a Gloe Baby Monkey."  He lifted out a little monkey that was already changing from blue to purple and then glowing a reddish pink.  The whole group watched as the little creature turned from one color to another running the entire spectrum of colors.  "It's my rainbow baby," Emmett gushed cradling the little monkey against his chest.  "I absolutely love it.  Thank you so much whoever got this for me."

Everyone looked around the room, but nobody was willing to take credit.  The Santas were supposed to be a secret.

"Santa got it for you, Auntie Emm," Bree said knowingly.

"That's right.  Of course he did."

Gus handed his father another package.

"Owen," Brian said reading the tag.

"Oh, that must be for my son," Owen protested, knowing that they were last minute add-ons and his son would have been there if he wasn't on his honeymoon.

"Nope," Brian said.  "I have it on good authority from a Mister Claus that this gift is for you."

"Well, in that case…"  Owen took the present from Bree and kissed her cheek.

He opened the long narrow package ripping off the paper and revealing an elegant looking box that might contain an oversized pen set.  He flipped the lid and burst out laughing.

"What?" Sharon asked.

"You have to show and tell," Debbie directed him.

"Okay, okay," Owen managed to say as he got his laughter under control.  "It's a very classy looking Gentleman's Ball Scratcher."  He read the words from the inside of the box, a big grin on his face.

"Oh my lord!" Claire laughed.  "Is that appropriate?"

"I think it's great," Owen laughed.

Even Sharon saw the humor in it, as Owen passed the gift on so that everyone could get a good look at it.

"Use it in good health," Brian said.

"But not in public," Michael said with a grin.

"I'll be discreet," Owen replied, "but never doubt that I will use it."

"Owen!" Sharon said pretending to be mortified.

"I mean it.  I love it.  Santa really knew what to get me."

"Santa always knows what you need," Bree said definitively.  Patrick nodded his head in agreement.

Gus handed his father the next gift.

"Brother John," Brian said with a warm smile.  He handed the envelope to Bree who ran over to her uncle.

"Unca John," she said very politely as she extended the envelope to him.

"Thank you, sweetheart," he said giving her a kiss.

He opened the envelope and pulled out a card.  He read in silence and then wiped at his eyes.  "This is great.  Thank you whoever did this."

"What is it?  You have to share," Sharon Brenner said getting into the spirit of the day.

"Yeah, come on, John. What is it?" Steve asked.

"Someone adopted a penguin for me."

"A penguin?" several people shouted out at the same time.

"It says the money goes to looking after penguins in the Falkland Islands," John explained, as he started to pass around the card.

"What a fabulous idea!" Allen said.

"I think that's just great," Hunter interjected.

"Me too," John replied.  "I always enjoy the penguins at the zoo."

"I think they do that with other animals too," Ben supplied. 

"Want one next year?" Michael asked with a grin.

"There are worse gifts," Ben replied kissing his husband.

Gus extended another present to his father.

"Ah, another of the newbies to our family.  This one's for Sharon."

Bree ran over to Sharon and handed her the gift.  She got her obligatory reward of a kiss before running back to her father.

Sharon quickly opened the gift.  She wasn't sure about this whole thing.  Being in the limelight wouldn't be much fun if the package contained something obscene.  Owen might be able to laugh it off, but she wasn't so sure she could.  She opened the box and a big smile played across her face.

"Santa is very smart," she said with a chuckle.  "He knows I have cold feet."

"I can vouch for that," Owen said kissing her cheek.  "They're like two blocks of ice when we're in bed in the winter.

"Not anymore," Sharon crowed, drawing out a pair of Pink Hot Sox as they were described on the tag.  "You heat them in the microwave and they warm your feet.  They will be heavenly," she gushed, seeming to be truly touched by the unexpected gift.

"Heavenly for me too," Owen contributed.

Everyone laughed as Gus handed his father another gift.  The presents continued with much laughter and ribald comments.  Ted loved his Trembler Orgasmatron Head Massager.  He put it on, but refused to turn it on while in the presence of the assembled masses.  He got lots of comments about the orgasm part and whether or not that would happen for him.

There were fun gifts and more serious gifts, but everyone seemed to enjoy them.  They were getting near the end when one came up for Dr. Raph.  Bree carried it over to him and he kissed her cheek.  Ripping off the paper, he found something that made him burst out laughing.  "Oh, this is too perfect!" he told the room.

"What is it?" Drew asked.

"A bullshit button!"

"Oh, for fuck sake!" Debbie reacted.  "I want one of those."

"Me too," Emmett chimed in.

"How does it work?" Hector asked his partner.

"It's got five levels."  Raph read the accompanying card.

"5 different Bullshit Button Alerts.

"Ain't that the truth," Raph replied.  "I think I'll keep it on the counter in the clinic, along with the card.  What do you think, Hector?"

"Perfect!" Hector replied.  "Maybe some of our more bullshit inclined customers will get the message."

"I think it's probably too subtle for some people," Justin laughed.

"You're probably right," Seth agreed with a laugh.

"Every business has its bullshitters," Jennifer added.

Everyone nodded in agreement.

"Many thanks to whoever the Santa was that gave me this … thoughtful gift," Raph laughed.

Bree frowned.  "Dada, why did he say that?  There's only one Santa."

"That's right, Squirt.  He was just being silly."

Bree looked thoughtful.  "'Kay, Dada," she replied.  She waited for the next present that she would deliver to its new owner.

Finally the gifts were all distributed including a very special one for Bree.  Santa brought her a lovely silver hairbrush set.  Brian even showed her how to use it while everybody watched.  Bree loved to get her hair brushed, and Brian loved to brush it.

Emmett and Justin brought out coffee and dessert.  They all sat around discussing the great Santa gifts.