SILENT WITNESS

Watching him walk across the room my heart skips a beat. He is perfection. A man to be worshipped. A man you never get over. His lanky frame belies a strength few know. His intellect captivates you. His kiss intoxicates. His gaze upon you makes you long to be in his heart. This man has the power to make time stand still.

I watch him silently as he sits at the computer working. He is lost in his concentration. Unaware that I study him as he chews on his bottom lip. The sun shines through the loft window and falls upon him as if it too longs to be in his embrace. His chest rises and falls with every breath and I am lost in the beauty of him.

I lean back in our bed and my mind carries me back to a few short hours ago when he held me warm in his arms. His skin soft and silky with sweat. His breathing ragged from our lovemaking. The dark sheets cool against my nakedness. His hand on my thigh. His lips on my hair. A cigarette burning unnoticed in the crystal ashtray beside the bed. The smell of sex in the air.

The sound of the clock brings me back to this moment. I look to him and realize that he is no longer at the desk. I search the emptiness for him.
Finding him standing in the kitchen I am struck by the contrast of the cold steel of the kitchen against the dark heat  that radiates from him. His
smoldering eyes and lean body cause my breath to catch. My gaze fixates on the coarse hair showing just above the buttons of his jeans. His bare feet padding softly across the floor. His long lean fingers clutching a sweaty glass of dark amber liquid. I watch unnoticed as his tongue darts out to lick the last of the drink from his lips. I can almost taste the whiskey on his breath.

His long strides carry him to the window where he looks out upon the city he loves. A city that has welcomed him. A city that has become home for him. He belongs here. If he can belong anywhere. A smile crosses his face as he gazes at a bird feeding her babies. It is these moments when he is truthful and vulnerable that I fall deeper in love with him. The moments when he is unaware that someone is watching and he allows himself to be human. To be a man. A man who feels. A man who loves. A man who loves deeply and passionatley. A man that I long to be to have love me.

I long for the days when we can speak of the love between us. The days when he can willingly give himself to me. This man whom I love and long to have love me in return, is the kind of man I aspire to be. A man of great compassion and a man who is not afraid of a world that judges him. A man who speaks not of love but loves greatly those he surrounds himself with.

He looks to me and I smile at him. An inviting smile that he accepts. He takes  long strides towards our bedroom. He sits next to the bed and kisses me gently on the lips. "Good Morning Sunshine".

Taking his hand I pull him to the bed into a kiss that rocks my very soul.  We move together and it is then that he needs no words to tell me of the love he has for me. I feel it in the way he touches me, the way he kisses me and mostly in the way he looks at me. I know. Brian Kinney loves me. And the world seems so far away as we begin a journey of love together.


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