Lost

pic coming soon

A/N: Well it's been awhile since I posted anything and this one was inspired last night when I couldn't get the thought out of my head about that one person in the world that you can't live without. We all have our Justin, the someone who exists out there in the cold dark universe, that no matter what the hell we do or say, we know deep in our soul that if it came down to it, we'd give our lives for them.

A/N2: Thanks to Gayle for still being the best damn beta in the galaxy. I love ya, girl.....

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From the moment I saw him standing beneath that street light I knew I was fucked. And not just in the way you're thinking.

When he smiled up at me, I was lost. Somewhere inside I knew I'd met my match and that no matter how hard I tried I'd never be able to get him out of my system.

Oh, I talked a good game, but in the end we all knew that I loved him. When he smiled up at me, my heart skipped a beat and I felt a love I'd always longed for. Hell, he scared the fuck out of me.

Who'd have thought that a blonde twink with a hot little bubble butt would be the one to bring Brian Kinney to his knees? But he did.

And even when he left, he was still there. I was always looking for him. And I was always finding a way to take care of him.

Even after he ripped my heart out and stomped on it, I loved him. I never stopped. Not once.

It took me forever to realize what he meant to me, but in a way I'd always known. When that fucking Hobbs tried to kill him I thought I'd die right along with him. To see him lying there, helpless and bleeding was too much.

God damn, I just wanted to shut my eyes and go back to life before he walked into my life. If only it were that simple. If only I could've forgotten the feel of his body beneath mine or his breath on my neck. If only I could've forgotten how it felt to fall asleep with his head on my chest and to wake up with him still there.

I got used to him being there. So used to it that when he left, I couldn't remember what it was like to be me. Hell before Justin came along, I wasn't whole. I guess Tom Cruise had it right in Jerry McGuire, he completes me.

Fuck, I'm not used to this feeling, even after all these years. I'm still trying to fight it. When will I learn that I can't fight the power that Justin Taylor has over me? Try as hard as I might, I can't not love him.

And through all the pain, and the heartache I caused him, he always knew that I'd never give up on him. He always knew I loved him. Hell, he knew it long before I did.

Now I sit here, lost in my own private hell, wondering how it all went so wrong. How did I manage in the end to convince him that marriage was wrong for us? How did I find the strength to let him go?

And how did he know, that no matter what I'll be waiting for the day he returns to reclaim my heart?

FINIS

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