A Mother's Day Fic

Joan was a little surprised to hear a knock on the door at almost eleven on a Sunday morning. She was in the process of getting ready to go to church and wasn’t expecting anyone to show up. No one visited her, especially on Sundays. Anyone that knew her knew she’d be at church. She sighed when there was another knock and decided to go answer the door. Whoever it was obviously wasn’t going to go away. She was completely shocked to see Brian standing on the other side of the door.

“You’re the last person I expected to see,” she said honestly. Her voice was a little harder than she intended, though. She had to admit that Brian was looking very handsome. He’d let his hair grow out a little, though he kept it out of his face. He was clean shaven as usual and she noticed that he was wearing one of his expensive suits. He also had a bouquet of flowers in his hand, though they were her favorite rather than the usual bunch he brought her.

“I know,” he replied. He couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eye. He didn’t want to see the revulsion that he knew would be there.

“I’m getting ready to go to church,” she said as she moved aside, her way of inviting him in. He walked in, still not looking her in the eye.

“I know,” he said again. “I thought you might let me go with you. If you’re not ashamed to be seen with me in public, that is.” Brian couldn’t explain it but his mother was the only person that made him feel completely insecure.

“I…um….no. You can go with me,” she said. He never ceased to amaze her.

“I know you need to finish getting ready so I’ll go put these in some water,” Brian said before heading into the kitchen without giving her a chance to respond. She wondered what was going on. Brian bringing her a bouquet of her favorite flowers and willingly going to church with her. Something had to be up. As she walked into her bedroom she saw the calendar on the wall and looked at it. That would explain it, she thought. It was Mother’s Day. But given their last conversation she was certain that she’d never hear from Brian again. She and Claire were on speaking terms and Claire hadn’t even bothered to call, let alone go to church with her. Then Joan had an alarming thought. What if the cancer is back? What if he’s dying? She shook the thought off. That couldn’t be it.

“Shall we get going?” she asked as she came down and grabbed her jacket a few minutes later. Brian nodded and actually offered his arm to her. She took it with a slight smile, then they headed out the door. “I see you got a new car,” she commented as they approached the Corvette.

“I’ve had it for a couple of years now, actually,” Brian answered, opening the door for her. She nodded her thanks and got in, waiting until he was in the car before speaking again.

“It’s very nice,” she said.

“Thanks,” Brian said with a nod before starting the car and heading toward the church. The ride was made in complete silence, neither knowing what to say. Both stared out the windshield, though Brian would occasionally glance over at Joan. He wondered what she was thinking. When they got to the church, Brian parked, then came around to open the door for his mother. She smiled her thanks, taking his once again offered arm before they walked up the steps. Joan noticed that the reverend and Brian exchanged nods and she wondered what that was about. Then she smiled to herself as she thought perhaps her true Mother’s Day gift was that Brian had finally found God’s path and given up his disgusting lifestyle. She decided to let Brian bring up the subject if it were the case.

They sat in the sermon in silence. It was, of course, dedicated to mothers. At one point in the service there were corsages given to the oldest mother, the youngest mother and the newest mother. She thought that was a bit ridiculous but she knew part of it was jealousy that she didn’t fit into any category. She was, however, happy that she had at least one of her children with her at church. She felt a momentary sadness that it was the child she had effectively disowned that was honoring her on Mother’s Day and not the child that she showed love and acceptance toward. She wondered what Claire could possibly be doing that would keep her from even making a short phone call. That was distracting her from the service, though, so she put it from her mind. She’d talk to Claire about it later.

“I’d like to take you to lunch,” Brian said when the service was over. He looked at her, though still not in the eye.

“That would be nice,” she said with a nod.

“Where would you like to go?” he asked, once again offering his arm to her. She took it and thought for a second before looking at Brian. She started to say something, then stopped and shook her head.

“Anywhere would be good,” she answered.

“What were you going to say?” Brian questioned.

“Don’t worry about it,” Joan said.

“Mom, where do you want to go for lunch?” Brian had that stern, I want the truth tone that Jack got all the time. It sent a shiver down her spine, but at least the tone wasn’t being used in anger this time.

“I’ve always wanted to go to that fancy, French restaurant downtown but we could never afford it,” Joan replied.

“That’s where we’ll go,” Brian said with a slight smile.

“But it’s extremely expensive…” Joan started.

“I can afford it, Mom,” Brian said.

Joan nodded and sighed inwardly. She was very proud of Brian’s success but sometimes it made her feel inferior when she was exposed to his high end life style. There was little conversation over lunch other than comments about the food or the wine.

“Would you like some dessert?” Brian asked as the dessert cart came around.

“No, thank you,” Joan said, the meal having filled her up. Brian shook his head at the dessert steward and the man moved on. “You shouldn’t decline it just because I did.”

“I don’t eat many sweets anymore, Mom,” Brian said.

“That’s a big change from when you were little. I remember I walked into the kitchen one time and you’d eaten almost the entire bag of Oreo cookies,” she said with a chuckle.

Brian smiled a little, shaking his head. “I spent a lot of time throwing up after that, if I recall,” Brian said. Joan nodded. “It kind of turned me off of sweets.”

“I bet you still wouldn’t be able to resist your grandmother’s sugar cookies,” Joan commented with a smile.

“Never could.” Brian smiled as well. They both took a sip of their wine before Joan looked at Brian.

“This is very nice,” she said softly. Brian nodded.

“It is.” He took another sip of wine.

“I don’t want to spoil anything but I’ve been wondering about your intentions…” Joan took another sip of her own wine.

“You’re wondering why, after our last conversation, I would celebrate Mother’s Day with you?” Brian asked. He motioned to the waiter for the check.

“Yes,” Joan said.

“Can we talk about it at home? I’d rather not get into it here,” he said, indicating the restaurant. Joan nodded as the check arrived. Brian paid, in cash, then they left. When they got to the house, Brian once again opened the car door for her. He offered his arm and walked her to the door, taking his own house key and unlocking it before opening the door for her. She smiled the whole time. At least he has good manners, she thought.

“So…” Joan said as they sat on the couch together.

“I guess part of this stems from the fact that I wanted to talk to you about something that would really mean a lot to me, even though I know you’ll never approve,” Brian said, looking at his shoes rather than at Joan.

“Oh?” she asked. She was completely curious.

“I’m getting married…” Brian started. Joan smiled. Her prayers had been answered.

“Brian, why would you think I wouldn’t approve?” She didn’t understand.

“Because I’m getting married to a man. I know it’s not legal, but Justin and I love each other very much and want to show everyone that we’re committed to each other.” Brian still refused to look her in the eye.

“Brian, you know how I feel about that.” She had a hard time keeping the disgust off her face.

“I know, mom. But….it would really mean a lot to me if you could be there.” Brian was trying hard to keep his voice from shaking.

“I can’t condone that lifestyle, Brian. It’s an abomination to God,” Joan said, sighing heavily. “Is that the only reason you did all this? To butter me up so I’d come to a ceremony that was making a mockery of marriage?”

“No, it’s not,” Brian answered. “I went to church with you and took you to lunch because you’re my mother and no matter what you say or do to me, I still love you.” The last part was said quietly, Brian still looking down. “I thought, just maybe, that you’d be able to see past your religion long enough to see that, even though I’m gay and a sinner and an abomination to God, as you say, I’m still your son. I guess I was wrong.” He stood and started to head toward the door. Joan sat there in stunned silence, unsure what to say. She could tell that Brian was hurting. Part of her hated the fact that she was the cause of this pain. The bigger, religious part of her knew that Brian was leading a sinful lifestyle and she couldn’t be a part of that. She stayed sitting on the couch as Brian left, knowing she’d most likely never see her son again.

It was three days later when there was another knock on the door. Joan looked at the clock and saw that it was eight in the morning. She wondered who would be visiting her at such an early hour. She received her second surprise of the week when she saw none other than Debbie Novotny standing on the other side of the door. She sighed and moved aside so Debbie could come in.

“I should have known he’d turn to you,” Joan commented.

“He didn’t, actually,” Debbie said, knowing exactly who Joan was talking about.

“Then what are you doing here?” Joan asked, now confused.

“I’m here because, while Brian didn’t confide in me, he did confide in his lover who then complained to me about the bitch of a mother Brian has and that led to me coming to yell at you,” Debbie said honestly.

Joan sighed and shut the door. “I would appreciate it if you wouldn’t use foul language in my home,” she said.

“I’ll use whatever fucking language I want when I’m yelling at you. How could you treat Brian like that? He came to you, sat through a church sermon with you, took you to a fucking expensive restaurant just because you wanted to go, all because you’re his mother and he loves you, though I can’t see why, and you go and tear his heart out and stomp on it.”

“His lifestyle is a sin,” Joan said.

“Well, so is Michael’s lifestyle, according to you, but I love and support him anyway. Justin’s mother still loves and supports him. He may be living a sinful lifestyle in your eyes, but he is still your son, your flesh and blood. You’re not being a very good Catholic, or Christian in general, to disown your child just because you disagree with the way he lives his life. I’m sure that God would be very angry at you right now. You might think it blasphemy but the God I learned about it church loves everyone, he just hates the sins they commit. You can disapprove of Brian’s lifestyle and still love him, Joan. God won’t punish you for loving your own fucking son. And let me let you in on a little secret.

“Being there for Brian on a day that is VERY important to him is not going to send you to hell. Maybe if you’d get your head out of your ass and take a good look you’d see that Justin makes Brian very happy. Justin has helped Brian get past all the emotional damage that Jack and even you caused. He’s helped Brian become a better, more caring, more open person. Nothing you do or say is going to change the fact that Brian and Justin are going to be together for the rest of their lives. They love each other more than anything.” Debbie was panting by the time she got done.

“Are you quite finished?” Joan asked, trying to keep her face blank. She didn’t want to give Debbie the satisfaction of knowing she’d gotten to her.

“Yeah, I’m finished,” Debbie said, sounding defeated. She looked at Joan for a minute. “I honestly don’t know how you can sleep at night, knowing that your son thinks you hate him.” She then let herself out.

As soon as Joan was sure Debbie was gone, she moved into the living room and sat on the couch. She hadn’t really thought about it until that moment. She hadn’t truly realized that Brian thought she hated him. That he never believed her when she told him she loved him.

She went into the kitchen and grabbed a glass and a bottle of wine. As she started to open the bottle, she looked at it. Brian had commented on her drinking during previous visits. He’d said more than once, since he was a teenager, that she drank too much. She never listened. He was a child, what did he know. But he’d continued to say it as an adult. He’d even made a comment at lunch, wanting to order something other than wine with the meal. She came to realize that she did drink way too much, going through an entire bottle of wine in no more than two days. She put the bottle aside, getting some water instead, trying to calm herself by taking slow, deep breaths. After she was calm enough to stop her hands from shaking, she picked up the phone and dialed a familiar number.

“Hello?” A voice that sounded far too young to be Brian answered.

“Is Brian there?” she asked, clearing her throat.

“Who’s calling?” the voice asked, sounding a little protective.

“Joan, his mother,” she replied.

“He’s not here at the moment, he stepped out to get some air. Can I take a message?” The young man had manners, not hanging up on her immediately.

“Are you…..Justin?” she asked.

“Yes….” He now sounded suspicious.

“Please don’t tell him that I called,” she started. She heard him sigh on the other end of the phone and made up her mind. “I….I want to surprise him.”

“Surprise him?” Justin asked, now sounding curious.

“Yes. I….I want to be at the wedding.” She almost couldn’t bring herself to say it. “But I don’t want Brian to know I’ll be there.”

“Oh….okay,” Justin said. He then gave her all the details. She thanked him and they hung up the phone. Justin was still a little shocked. He’d never expected the call, let alone that Brian’s mom would show up.

The wedding was to be held at the house in West Virginia. Brian hadn’t sold it when Justin moved to New York, keeping it for Justin’s return. There was a beautiful garden and since it was gorgeous weather they’d planned to have the wedding outside. Emmett made all the arrangements. Justin made sure to tell Emmett to expect one more guest than they’d originally planned but not to say a word to Brian.

“And where is this guest to be seated?” Emmett asked. They’d already made the seating chart.

“Beside Brian, at the head table,” Justin replied. Emmett was in shock. They’d originally planned to have Debbie sitting there.

“But…” Emmett said.

“Just do it, Emmett,” Justin said.

Emmett nodded and did as he was told. Emmett managed to refrain from saying anything to Brian about the change in seating.

The day of the wedding finally arrived, with the ushers answering the door. They would lead the guests back into the garden and seat them on either Brian’s side or Justin’s side, depending on preference. Michael was to stand beside Brian, and Emmett stood beside Justin. Daphne had regretfully been unable to get away from school to come to the wedding, though she’d apologized repeatedly and said she’d never forgive herself. Brian sighed as he watched his friends and family seated from the window of the bedroom in which he and Justin were getting ready.

“You’re supposed to be happy,” Justin said, coming up behind Brian.

“I know, and I am.” Brian turned and smiled at Justin. They shared a quick kiss before Brian reached up and tied Justin’s tie. The music started, indicating the families were being seated toward the front. By this time Brian and Justin were heading down the stairs so Brian didn’t see the usher seating his mother. Brian and Justin walked down the aisle together. Brian almost tripped when he looked up and saw his mother smiling back at him. He couldn’t keep the smile off his face, though he secretly feared she would do something awful like object that it was an abomination or a travesty or something of the kind. Thankfully, when that part of the ceremony came, she remained quiet. Brian did notice that she was dabbing at her eyes during the vows that they’d written.

“Congratulations, Brian,” Joan said as they took their seats at the head table during the reception. “And I mean that. You look really happy.”

“I am,” Brian said with a smile. He leaned over to Justin and whispered in his ear. “Did you have anything to do with this?”

“I may or may not have,” Justin said with a smirk.

“I have one thing to say about this,” Brian said. Justin started to get a little nervous. “Thank you.” Brian then kissed Justin’s cheek before sitting back up and looking at his mother. “So, what changed your mind?” He was truly curious.

“A not so little red wigged bird gave me a stern talking to,” Joan answered. Brian chuckled, thinking about Debbie ripping Joan a new one. “And…it got me thinking. I may not approve of your lifestyle, Brian, but I can see that you really do love Justin very much and he loves you…..to be honest, I’m a little envious. I wish your father felt for me even a fraction of what you two feel for each other.” She shook her head. “But that’s beside the point. What it all comes down to is that you are still my son, no matter how you live your life, and I do love you.”

“Thank you,” Brian said softly, unable to keep his voice from shaking. He was barely able to keep the tears at bay.

“Besides, you look much better than Claire did on her wedding day,” Joan said. They shared a chuckle, both remembering the spectacle that was Claire’s wedding. “Speaking of your sister…” Joan started.

“I have no intention of speaking to Claire ever again. Mainly because she refuses to speak to me,” Brian answered with a shrug. Joan simply nodded. That definitely sounded like Claire.

“I really am happy for you, Brian,” Joan said. She reached up and touched Brian’s cheek. This time he couldn’t keep a single tear from falling.

“You have no idea how much that means to me,” he replied with a smile. For the first time since Brian’s age was in the single digits, mother and son shared a heartwarming hug. They both knew their relationship wouldn’t be the same anymore and neither minded one bit.

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