A Dream is a Wish

A dream is a wish your heart makes
When you're fast asleep.
In dreams you will lose your heartaches
Whatever you wish for you keep.
Have faith in your dreams and someday
Your rainbow will come smiling through
No matter how you're heart is grieving
If you keep on believing
The dreams that you wish will come true.

 
 
 

Brian came out of the backroom just in time to see Justin kissing the fiddler. He stood there watching the two of them for a moment. It was time for Justin to decide. Justin looked between the two of them and seemed to hesitate for a moment, then he kissed Ethan again and started to leave.

"Justin!" Brian yelled over the music and the noise of the crowd. He started to move toward the departing couple. Justin paused and turned to see Brian moving in his direction.

"What do you want, Brian?" He asked when the older man was close enough to hear him over the blaring music. They stood there looking at each other for a heart beat before Brian spoke.

"Don't go."

"What?"

"Don't go. Please. I know I fucked up. But.....don't go." There was a pleading look in Brian's eyes.

"Justin, come on." Ethan said, tugging on Justin's hand.

Justin looked back at Ethan for a moment, then at Brian, then back at Ethan. Anyone could tell just by looking at him that he was totally confused. Justin studied Brian's face and for the first time he saw real fear. Brian was afraid. But what was he afraid of? Justin looked back at Ethan and Brian sighed, sure that he had lost.

"I can't," Justin said.

"What?" Ethan asked.

Justin moved closer. "I can't go with you, Ethan. As much as I like being with you, I love Brian. I'm sorry, I just can't."

Ethan stepped back and glared at Brian, then at Justin. "Fine, whatever." He then turned and left. Brian smiled at Justin and they came together in a passionate kiss.

"Justin.....for what it's worth, I'm sorry."

"Sorry's bullshit." Justin said with a slight smirk. "Don't say you're sorry, prove it."

"And how exactly do I do that?"

"No more tricking." When Brian raised an eyebrow, Justin sighed and started to turn. Brian grabbed his arm.

"Your ass is going to be rather sore until I get used to not getting laid every night." There was an evil glint in his eyes to match the grin on his face. Justin couldn't help but laugh.

"And I want you to say it every now and then. You don't have to tell me all the time, but I would like to hear it once in a while. Like…..once a month or so."

"What? You want me to tell you that I love you? That I need you and am totally lost without you? Is that what you want to hear?" Justin nodded, tears forming in his eyes. He never thought he would hear Brian say those words. "I'm not gonna say it all the time."

"That's okay. Just as long as you do say it."

"I think I can manage that. Anything else?"

Justin wrapped his arms around Brian's neck and kissed him. Brian put his hands on the younger man's waist as the kiss deepened. When they finally came up for air, they were both smiling.

"That's it for now."

"For now? You mean there's gonna be more?"

"Maybe." Justin smirked. Brian rolled his eyes, then they both laughed. They danced together for the rest of the night, not letting anyone else cut in. As far as they were concerned there was no one else in the room.

They were kissing hungrily in the elevator all the way to the top. They almost didn't get the door closed before they started ripping at each other's clothes. They kissed the entire time, never parting any longer then it took to remove a shirt. When they got to the bed, Brian pushed Justin back onto it. By this time they were both naked, a trail of clothes from the door to the bed. Brian went to the end of the bed and started crawling up.

He first kissed Justin's feet, then slowly kissed his way up Justin's shins and his thighs, stopping just above his groin. By this time the blonde was panting and moaning and flushed. Brian had never seen him look more gorgeous. He slowly ran his tongue up the length of Justin's dick. Justin was hard in an instant. Brian smirked, kissing the head before taking the entire length into his mouth.

Justin arched his back and grabbed handfuls of sheets as Brian started to slowly work his way up and down the shaft. A small moan escaped his lips when Brian gently ran his teeth over the sensitive skin. He began making swirls with his tongue, making Justin whimper. Brian somehow managed to grab the lube without breaking the contact between lips and cock. He lubed up his fingers and slowly inserted one into Justin's convulsing hole. The blonde let out a loud moan as Brian started to move his finger in time with his sucking.

After a few seconds, Brian inserted a second finger, twirling them around as he moved them in and out. This caused waves of pleasure to shoot through Justin's body, making his back arch even more. Brian's sucking became harder and more frantic, his fingers keeping perfect time with his bobbing head. Justin reached a hand down and tangled his fingers in Brian's hair, urging him on. It wasn't long before Justin was screaming.

"OH GOD BRIAN!" His back arched at an almost impossible angle, toes curling as he came. Brian winced as Justin pulled at his hair. He smiled and swallowed the load that had just been shot down his throat, then started to slowly kiss his way up to Justin's mouth, stopping to pay gentle homage to each nipple with his tongue. They came together in a fierce, passion filled kiss that was only broken long enough for Justin to whisper, "Fuck me." Condom in place and lube applied, they made love all night.

Brian awoke with a smile on his face. He kept his eyes closed for a moment, reveling in the image of Justin writhing beneath him. He reached out a hand to the other side of the bed and his eyes popped open when he found that side empty. He sat up and looked around. Suddenly, the events of the evening before came crashing back to him. He’d fucked "Rage" in the back room and Justin had seen him. But Justin left with the fiddler. It had all been a dream. A wonderful dream, but a dream nonetheless.
           
 "Why didn't you go after him?" he asked himself aloud, even though he knew the answer. Justin wasn't happy with him, that was obvious. He seemed to be happy with Ethan though, and Brian would rather be without Justin than be the one making Justin miserable. The words Justin had spoken the day after Mikey's thirtieth birthday party came back to his mind.

"God, you must really love him," the boy said when Brian admitted that he would lose his friendship with Mikey if it meant Mikey could be happy with the good doctor. The same was true here. Brian did love Justin and while it might sound cliché, he kept hearing "If you love him, let him go" over and over and over again in his mind. But a part of him still wished for the dream he’d had the night before. Maybe it wasn't too late. Maybe he could still get Justin back. And maybe he'd accidentally stumble across a cure for cancer tomorrow.

Brian sighed, then got up, showering and shaving before getting dressed and heading to turn the TV on. He knew that he would have to get through this on his own and the only way that was going to happen was one day at a time.
 

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