The Vows We Made
"Why did you even marry me? You obviously think our relationship is a waste of time. You work all the time and hardly ever come home early, and then I try and do something nice for you and you shrug it off. Sometimes Brian I wonder if you even meant those words that you spoke when we took our vows so when you are ready to be a husband and not a full time asshole I'll be at Daph's," Justin shouted sliding the loft door shut with a bang.
Those words cut through Brian's heart like a knife. He had come home late to find the loft candlelit and dinner sitting cold on the table. He heard the shower running and when he turned the knob to the door it was locked. At that point Brian knew he had screwed up big time. Starting his new agency had been taking a real toll on his and Justin's marriage. They had only been married six months, but the honeymoon period was already over. He hadn't realized how much time he had been spending at the office until tonight though. When Justin had called him and asked him what he wanted for dinner that should have been his first clue that Justin had something special planned but he was too absorbed in his work, and ended up losing track of time. When Justin had come out of the bathroom, he was already dressed and Brian walked over to him but he was just pushed away, and that's when everything fell apart. Brian curled up on the couch not even bothering to go after his husband he needed some time to think and decide what he could do to make it up to his sunshine.
Justin collapsed outside the loft he didn't even have enough energy to go to Daphne's. He couldn't believe he had just spoken such hateful words to his husband. He knew Brian had been working hard at the office getting established, and he had been busy with Rage and getting ready to go to California for a business trip. He had decided to slow down for the evening and make a romantic dinner for his husband and Brian hadn't even bothered to call when he was running late. He was just frustrated and maybe he had overreacted but he was still upset. After composing himself, he collected his stuff off the floor and walked down the stairs. He needed some time to think about what had gone wrong.
One Year Earlier
Justin walked into the diner to see Brian sitting there and asked, "Hey what are you doing here I thought that you had some big meeting and weren't going to be available all day?"
"Well I needed a quick break and thought I would come see you." Brian replied leaning forward and kissing Justin deeply.
"I'm not complaining. How has your day been?"
"It's been good, but I really have to get back to the office and get some more work done. I'll see you at home tonight. Later." As Brian walked out of the diner, he smiled to himself knowing that this was going to be one of the best nights of his and Justin's life. As he walked down Liberty Avenue, he stepped into a small custom jewelry shop. Glancing down he surveyed the array of rings, and the one that caught his eye was a simple platinum band with blue topaz. That topaz is the color of his eyes Brian thought, and then continued making his selections. Once he decided on what to buy, he spoke to a jeweler about engraving and filled out all the necessary paperwork, and then left the store with a small smile on his face.
Later that evening when Justin walked into the loft he stopped short at the site that met him. The loft was filled with candles and roses and dinnerware was set out on the table. Brian was in the kitchen pouring two glasses of wine. Justin felt himself harden at the site of Brian standing there in his favorite black Armani sweater and black slacks.
"Come in and go get a shower. Dinner will be here in a few minutes," Brian said.
A few minutes later Justin came out of the bathroom wearing a pair of black pants and a baby blue sweater that complemented his eyes perfectly. Brian had picked out the outfit insisting that it looked much better than his choice of cargos and t-shirts. Justin had to agree with that. He walked up to Brian and wrapped him in his arms kissing him on the neck. Brian then turned to him and kissed him deeply.
"Now let's eat before it gets cold."
Over dinner they talked and joked, and romantically fed each other. Brian was a nervous wreck inside but he didn't want it to be obvious to Justin. He did his best to hide it. After they shared a dessert of chocolate cake, Brian pulled out his chair and led him into the living room. There were more candles, and Justin noticed the small box sitting on the coffee table. He sat down on the couch, and Brian gave him the small package.
"Go ahead and open it."
"Ok." His hands were trembling and it took him a minute to get the paper off. He was still in shock at the ridiculously romantic dinner and couldn't even think straight when he thought about what was in the package. There was no special occasion that he remembered either so this was uncharacteristic for his lover. When he finally pulled the paper off he saw that it was a jewelry box from that custom jewelry place close to the diner. He opened the lid and almost passed out when he saw the two platinum bands one with blue topaz and the other with peridot stones. He looked up to find Brian kneeling next to him, and his eyes started to pool with tears.
Brian took his hands in his and started to speak. "Justin. I never thought I could love, but you came into my life and tore down all the boundaries that I had built up. We have been through a lot over the years, and even though there were times when we didn't think we would make it we managed to come out of it. I just want you to know that I love you with my whole heart, and as hard as that is for me to say I will always show you that. Justin Taylor, will you marry me?"
"Yes Brian I will marry you" Brian then slipped the platinum band with peridot onto Justin's left hand, and Justin slipped the ring with the topaz onto Brian's hand as there lips locked in a passionate kiss.
The night they had gotten engaged was magical. What had happened to that kind of magic in their marriage? Brian just slouched on the couch smoking a joint and contemplating what had forced Justin to feel that way. Their marriage was happy at least Brian thought it was. During their time together they had made it a point to have date night and spend romantic weekends away from work and the Pitts. They actually communicated how they felt and shared problems, and no matter what kind of problems they were having, they always came home to each other. So Brian didn't understand what Justin meant by him not meaning his vows. He thought that he had been faithful to what he had spoken that day, but the more he thought about it maybe he hadn't been.
"Brian, what's going on? I've been trying to reach you all evening." Michael asked sliding open the door of the loft. Brian was slightly relieved he didn't want to have to be alone anymore and Michael was just as close to him as Daphne was to Justin.
"Maybe I didn't want to be bothered, but now that you're here do you think that I didn't mean my wedding vows. I know things have been hectic with the agency and the movie, but I didn't realize how hectic. I really hurt him this time Mikey." Brian felt the lump in his throat and tears began to run down his face, and Michael held him.
"If anyone had meant those vows to Justin it was you Brian."
"Maybe it was a fake I never knew love maybe I just thought what we had was love. I feel like I'm some kind of terrible person. I can't even please my husband or follow through on the vows I spoke to him."
"Brian you aren't a terrible person and whether or not you think you do you please Justin and love him unconditionally. You always have and always will." Michael just wondered why Justin would think that Brian didn't love him or mean the vows he had written for him.
Across town Justin was sitting in Daphne's living room sobbing. He was thankful that he had a best friend as good as her that could help him understand things. She also never judged him or Brian no matter how stupid they were, and that's why he always felt like he could go to her when something happened between them. "Daphne how could I have said such a thing."
"Justin you were upset. I might have said something like that to Nathan if I were that mad at him too."
"But Daphne I told him that I didn't think he meant his vows vows he made to me and wrote for me," Justin said tears running down his cheeks as he stifled sobs. "I feel like I'm a terrible husband."
"You are not a terrible husband. You were just angry. Take some time to cool off then go home and tell him you are sorry. He will understand after all he did mean those vows and even though sometimes he slips up he always follows through."
Justin sighed. He couldn't help but taking what Daphne said to heart. He knew that Brian loved him; after all he had tamed the heart of the wild child. But even though he knew in his heart that Brian would forgive him the words that he had shouted earlier still haunted him. How could he have questioned their vows? After all, they had written their vows themselves and it was one of the most romantic days of their lives.
"Its time! Michael and Daphne get in position." Jennifer Taylor said smiling at the wedding party. When doors on the back of the old Victorian house swung open, the crowd stood. Michael and Daphne made there way down the aisle amongst the crowd of family and friends. The song This I Swear was playing softly in the background as Justin and Brian began walking down the aisle.
You're there by my side
In every way
I know that you would not forsake me
I give you my life
Would not think twice
Your love is all I need believe me
The gazebo was covered with white and red roses, and the sun was beginning to set so the trees were wrapped in white Christmas lights, and the lights twinkled brightly against the shadows of the darkening trees. Justin and Brian both wore matching tuxedos with white rose boutonnières. The candles were lit at the front of the gazebo and more white lights were wrapped around the latticework.
I may not say it quite as much as I should
When I say I love you darling that means for good
So open up your heart and let me in
And I will love you 'til forever
Until death do us part we'll be together
So take my hand and hold on tight
And we'll get there
This I swear
Rev. Tom was standing in front of crowd so when Brian and Justin made it to the front the music faded out and he began, "family and friends we come here today to celebrate love. Brian and Justin have chosen this evening to pledge there love to one another. They have been through good times and bad however there love has always come out on top. Brian and Justin you understand that marriage is not to be entered into lightly. There will be many more trials to come and I now ask that if anyone here has any reason these two should not pledge there love please speak now or forever hold your peace." There was a small period of silence then Rev Tom continued, "Brian and Justin have chosen to write their own vows so now I'll ask Brian to continue."
Brian pulled a small card from his tuxedo pocket, took Justin's hand in his, and spoke, "Justin you made me the man I am today. I know that there are people here who never thought that we would make it much less ever get married. You swore that you loved me even though I never could admit that to you or to myself, and even though we have been through trials, we always came home to each other. You are my heart and soul and without you I wouldn't be complete. I promise that I will do my best to love, care for you, and support you in everything you do. I love you." Once he was finished, he reached up, brushed the tears from Justin's eyes, and ran his hand over his lips causing him to give one of those sunshine smiles of his.
Justin then pulled a small card from his tuxedo pocket and began, "Brian, you taught me how to love without words. The saying is always that actions speak louder than words and that could never be more true when it comes to your love for me. You stole my heart the night we met and I know that without you I wouldn't be whole. You hold a piece of me with you just like I hold a piece of you. I promise that I will do my best to love care for you and support you in everything you do. I love you." When he finished he brushed the stray tears from Brian's eyes and kissed him on the hand.
Rev Tom then spoke, "Brian and Justin do you promise to love, support, and cherish each other in wealth and poverty, sickness and health, good times and bad till death parts you? Do you promise that you each will do your best to communicate and help the other one, and no matter what happens always love and trust each other?
"The rings please."
Brian and Justin had decided to get other wedding rings and wear the rings from their engagement on their right hands. They had picked out a simple Celtic love knot band because of the compliment to the other ring and the symbolic feature of the knotting.
"Rings are a sign of outward and everlasting commitment. When Brian and Justin wear these rings they will be a symbol to them and to everyone that sees them of the commitment they share. Brian take this ring and place it on Justin's finger saying with this ring I am committed to you."
Brian looked Justin in the eyes, slid the ring on his finger and said, "With this ring I am committed to you"
"Justin take this ring and place it on Brian's finger saying with this ring I am committed to you."
Justin looked Brian in the eyes, slid the ring on his finger and said "With this ring I am committed to you"
"Well now that we have all witnessed the vows and exchanging of rings it is my great pleasure to introduce to you Mr. Brian Kinney and Mr. Justin Taylor-Kinney partners in life. You may now kiss" Brian swept Justin into his arms and kissed his lips passionately letting the taste of his husband cause his heart to melt even more. They were now committed partners and legally married. Life was perfect or so it seemed.
Brian awoke with a jolt. He sat straight up in bed slightly disoriented. Was it his wedding day? The dream had been that vivid and more of a very colorful memory. He could still see the gazebo all decked out in the lights and flowers and the way Justin smiled at him and looked. He also remembered the way Justin tasted and the love that they had shared that night after they were married. Then he remembered what had just happened. Justin had left because he questioned the vows that Brian spoke to him. Mikey had come over the comfort him but had put him to bed when he passed out after coming off the weed. He was a wreck and the only thing that would solve this was to show his husband and not just show him but also tell him how much he cared and loved him. He had the perfect way of doing just that, but it would take him some time to do just that and he hoped Justin would be waiting when he followed through.
Justin woke up sweating. All he could think about was what he had said to Brian. He still couldn't believe those words had come out of his mouth. He was still upset at their busy schedules but he knew that it wasn't only Brian's fault that it was also his. He still could remember the wedding and how special it had been, and he could remember the wedding night and the slow lovemaking and warmth that was shared. As he drifted off thinking about that night he wished they could have that again, little did he know what kind of surprises were in store for him.
"You are so beautiful Bri," Justin whispered against he ear as he traced slow circles on his neck and ears with his tongue.
"So are you," Brian replied reaching over and tracing the contours of Justin's chest with his fingers. Tonight was all about getting lost in one another. They were finally married and wanted to take their time savoring each other's bodies and souls. Michael, Ted, Emmett, and Daphne had come by during the reception and set the suite up for a particularly romantic evening. When the boys opened the door there were white and red roses petals scattered all over the floor leading into the bedroom along with soft music playing in the background. As they made their way into the bedroom soft candlelight filled the room and a basket of massage oils and bubble bath had been placed on the chest at the foot of the bed.
"Wow, they went crazy," Justin said.
"Well you know when Emmett is in charge of stuff things are a little outlandish," Brian said smiling thankful that Emmett was the hopeless romantic cause the suite couldn't have been more romantic for him and his husband.
"Where should we start?" Justin asked knowing that he wanted to take this night slow and savor every sensation possible.
"Hmm I wonder," Brian said leaning down and kissing him deeply hands brushing down his chest and undoing the buttons on his shirt allowing his fingers to brush against Justin's pale skin. The electricity ran through them as the kissing became more urgent and the clothes came flying off. As they continued to kiss and stroke every inch of one another, they slowly stumbled into the bathroom grabbing a bottle of bubble bath and massage oil as they went. Once in the bathroom Brian guided Justin down onto the floor of the bathroom and began to rub the vanilla scented massage oil into his stiff muscles. As he massaged the tenseness out of Justin's back he breathed on the oil causing it to heat slight eliciting tiny moans from Justin. Once he was done massaging Justin's back and neck he had insisted to return the favor so Brian allowed Justin to massage him in the same manner. Once they were done massaging one another they were both extremely aroused. The site of Brian's swollen cock caused Justin to lick his lips and push him onto his back engulfing him in his mouth.
"Baby I want to taste you," Brian moaned through clenched teeth, and with that said Justin rolled Brian onto his side gliding his cock to Brian's lips. As the two men savored the warm sensations of oral sex sweep through them they both soon came allowing themselves to be lost in the taste and scent of there love.
"Bri, I want you to make love to me," Justin whispered against Brian's chest. Brian agreed and began kissing his way down Justin's back and then slid his tongue into the groove of his ass. Once he had Justin full lubed with his saliva he gently rolled Justin onto his back. Justin wrapped his legs around Brian's neck and gasped as Brian entered him raw. It was an amazing sensation, and before to long they were shouting with the intense pleasure that was coursing through them as they both came.
"I love you Bri."
"I love you too Jus."
As the night stretched on they made love for hours finally settling down as the sun was peaking its way over the horizon. That night was their first night as a married couple and as they both fell asleep; they were content in one another's arms.
"Kinney" Brian barked into the intercom.
"Hey Boss, I thought I would let you know that the shoot for Brown is finished and the pictures are on your desk."
"Whatever" Brian said flatly he had a headache, and he was slightly hungover from the night before. He was still miserable and hadn't talked to Justin since their argument.
"You ok Brian?" Cynthia asked slightly concerned with her boss mood.
"Actually no. Justin and I are having some problems and I'm trying to decide how to make it up to him. What would the hopeless romantic in you do?" Brian rarely allowed his personal life to intervene with his colleagues however he had worked with Cynthia for so long that he not only viewed her as his assistant but also a friend.
"Why not take him to dinner and then recreate your wedding night? It would be a nice way for the two of you to settle down and relax. I don't think you have left the office since its been open and with Justin working on Rage he's constantly in the studio."
"Yeah that sounds ridiculously romantic, and considering the circumstances that's what we need. Make me some reservations at the Bed and Breakfast outside of town you know the one with the really nice cabin where we went on our first weekend trip, and hold my calls. I'm taking the weekend to be with my husband, "he said as he grabbed his coat. He had to add one more surprise in store for Justin.
"Sunshine, get your bubble butt in gear." Deb shouted across the diner. It was the middle of the lunch rush and Justin was moving like a turtle
"Sorry Deb. I didn't sleep to well last night."
"Judging from the looks of you, you didn't get any either. What's going on?"
"Brian came home late last night and I overreacted. I told him that I didn't think he meant his vows, and that when he was ready to be a husband instead off an ass he could find me at Daphne's. I slept on her couch last night and haven't even talked to Brian today. I'm giving him some time to calm down."
''That's probably for the best," just as she said that the bell on the diner door jingled and Deb looked up saying "Don't look now, but I think he's calm."
"Huh?" Justin spun around and saw Brian standing there with a bouquet of red and white roses. He had done the exact same thing on their first weekend to the country, and Justin froze flashing him a smile as the memories of that trip came flooding back.
5 Months Earlier
The little guest cabin at the bed and breakfast was the perfect thing the boys needed for a weekend of relaxation and romance. Brian had just finished moving the offices of Kinnetic and Justin had just gotten home from a trip to California. They were in desperate need of some quality time with one another. Brian had surprised Justin at the diner with a bouquet of red and white roses and a card that said to meet him outside after his shift. When Justin had gotten into the corvette he saw an overnight bag in the back and he knew something was up.
When they pulled onto a back country rode Justin immediately knew where they were going. He had read about the secluded bed and breakfast on the internet and had wanted to go there. Brian had agreed to take him but with the busy schedules they had been having there hadn't been anytime to go. As a one month anniversary present Brian had made reservations and everything was set.
"Brian Kinney have I told you how much I love you?" Justin said in a sarcastic sing song voice.
"No, but I didn't think you had to tell me why don't you show me."
"Well that can be arranged." Justin said tackling Brian to the floor. There was urgency there like a fire that needed to be put out. Justin ran his tongue up and down Brian's chest savoring the flavor of his husband's skin. He left a hickey next to his navel and slowly dipped his tongue in and out tickling Brian's skin causing him to moan. He then worked his way down Brian's thighs sucking and tickling the skin.
"Baby. You are so talented." Brian moaned his appreciation. Justin then took his cock in his mouth causing Brian to loudly moan his name. He drew circles on the tip causing his lovers cock to twitch for release. When he was close Justin flipped Brian over onto his stomach and began rimming him.
"JUSTIN, Fuck Me." Brian growled, and Justin grabbed the lube and slicking himself he entered Brian. It wasn't long before both men were entranced in each others fluid motions, and moans erupted from their lips as they both came.
The rest of the weekend was spent in much the same manner: Romantic candlelit meals and lots of lovemaking. When the weekend ended neither one wanted to leave, but Brian promised Justin that they would go back one day soon.
"Hurry up Mikey. They'll be here any minute," Emmett shouted from the cabin kitchen.
"Ok. You were the one who insisted we start a small fire with all the candles." Mikey snapped.
"Sorry, I just want it to be perfect."
"Don't worry I'm sure the candles won't be the only thing that setting this cabin on fire. Let's hurry up and get out of here." Both of the friends erupted in laughter at that thought and tossed the makings of a romantic weekend into the back seat of Michael's car and drove off.
Justin was sitting in silence in the corvette with a blindfold over his eyes. He was still miserable at the thought of all that he had said last night, but when Brian had come to the diner with the roses and told him not to say anything to just get in the car he wasn't sure what was going on. He knew Brian wasn't mad, but why wouldn't he be Justin had been terrible to say those things.
"We're here." Brian said opening the door and guiding Justin out and into the cabin. When they walked inside Brian slipped the blindfold off of Justin's face, and Justin gasped at the site. The cabin was full of candles. The vanilla scent was strong and erotic.
"Brian its beautiful, but why?"
"It's my way of saying sorry. I haven't been the best husband lately and I wanted to make it up to you for last night."
"But why I said some terrible things."
"Yeah but those words made me think, and I wanted to show you how much I meant by the vows we said on our wedding day. I love you Justin Taylor-Kinney you are my heart and soul, and I will do all I can to live up to that promise and when I don't just smack me like you did and I'll straighten up. Understand?"
"Yes Bri. I'm sorry. I love you."
"I love you too. Now let's eat before the food gets cold."
As the lovers ate dinner they talked about the week and how work was. They kissed and shared food and savored the flavor of the pasta as it mingled with the taste of each other. After they cleared the table they walked out onto the back deck. They slowly began kissing and undressing one another sucking each area of exposed skin and slowly making their way to the hot tub. Justin began massaging Brian's shoulders and as he kissed his was down the Brian's skin he allowed his fingers to brush against his lovers cock sending a jolt of energy through both of them. Brian responded by grinding his hard on into Justin's causing them to both moan with the intensity. Pretty soon both men were incredibly hard. Justin leaned into Brian allowing Brian to slowly enter him. As the head of Brian's penis came in contact with his prostate Justin moaned pushing further into Brian allowing the rhythm of the older man's thrusts consume him. Swallowing a scream Justin came sending Brian over the edge as well. As they relaxed after making love Brian picked up the bottle of champagne that was sitting next to the hot tub along with the set of crystal toasting glasses from their wedding and a small velvet box. When they broke from kissing Brian popped the top on the champagne and poured some into each glass.
"To us." He toasted kissing Justin deeply once more
"There's one more surprise I have for you Sunshine," Brian said handing the velvet box to his husband. "Go ahead open it"
When Justin opened the box there was a delicate silver chain with a key hanging from the end. Engraved on the key was B's heart. Justin gasped. Brian had given him the key to his heart. Brian smiled pulling something out from the discarded pants on the walk by the hot tub. It was an identical key and it said J's heart. Justin's eyes filled with tears. He kissed Brian deeply as he thought about how he would never doubt their wedding vows again. He was loved and knew that this is where he belonged. Brian smiled when Justin embraced him. The world would not always be perfect but it would be as close as possible when they were in each others arms.
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