A Considerable and Taxing Effort
Walter was turning 65. He wasn’t happy turning 65 but he had little choice in
the matter, life just worked out that way. Fortunately for Walter, good genes,
healthy living, exercise and regular “injections” of alien enhanced Alex Krycek
loving , kept Walter looking no older than fifty-five. Walter could accept
fifty-five. Vainly, he checked out his reflection in the mirror. Washboard abs,
muscular chest and arms, tight gluts, Walter was pleased with what he saw. And
from the reactions he got from Alex, Alex liked what he saw too.
Walter sighed. A number is just a number, right? Wrong. Sixty-five brings a
whole ‘nother set of potential challenges, such as changes in his tax status.
Walter had always prepared his taxes by himself. In fact he prided himself in
keeping up with the changes in the tax regulations. And since little had changed
with him over the years since his retirement from the FBI, he did his taxes by
rote. But now things were different. Walter had a new set of rules, regulations
and schedules to learn.
“Dammit!” Walter shouted to himself as he slapped the table. He ripped the top
sheet of paper off his pad, crumbled it into a ball and threw it across the
room.
“What’s got your panties in a twist?” Alex commented from the safety of the
kitchen. Alex was one of the world’s most skillful and smartest assassins. He
was smart enough to stay out of Walter’s way when Walter was angry.
“It’s these fucking rules. I’m supposed to be in a lower tax bracket and yet I
have to pay. I qualify for Medicare, for cripes’ sake! I’ve been getting refunds
for years and all of a sudden I have to pay? I don’t fucking believe it.”
Alex stared at his partner. Cool, calm, collected Walter Skinner using the
f-word; twice.
“Walter...”
“Don’t,” Walter held up his hand to silence Alex. “I don’t want to hear it.”
“I was only going to suggest that you let an accountant do your taxes this
year,” Alex said gently.
“But I’ve always done my taxes.”
“And next year you can do them again. Just let someone else take care of it this
year,” Alex said reasonably.
Walter carefully considered his options. Alex thought he had
Walter convinced until Walter shook his head.
“No, it’s a matter of principle. I will study the new schedules and will cut my
remittance, possibly get a refund,” Walter said with renewed determination. Alex
said nothing as Walter returned to the task at hand.
Several hours later, Walter was no closer to his refund. He cursed, grumbled
then stood up from the dining room table, stretching the kinks out of his spine.
Walter pushed past Alex to get himself a beer. He quickly took his head out of
the refrigerator when he heard a strangely familiar whizzing sound.
“Uh, Alex?” Water meekly began as he stared at the large knife, still swaying
back and forth from the momentum of Alex’s throw, sticking out of the pile of
tax forms. The point was deeply imbedded into the table.
“I’ve cut your taxes,” Alex growled; his jade green eyes glowered with menace.
“Any questions?”
“No, no, I’m cool,” Walter quickly replied, holding his hands up in surrender.
“Good,” Alex stated as he retrieved his knife, sheathed it, gathered up the
papers then walked out of the house, leaving Walter dumbfounded.
A few months later, Walter was checking his online bank statement. He was
pleasantly surprised at his sizable refund. “Alex, is there something you’d like
to tell me?” Walter asked as Alex breezed into the room.
“Yeah, happy birthday,” Alex said as he breezed out. Walter decided it was too
taxing an effort to try to figure things out. He glanced again at his bank
balance, smiled then went to celebrate with Alex.
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