Let Me Count the Ways






“I hate you, Mulder!”


“There’s a fine line between love and hate, you Rat.”


“Yeah, and you’re crossing it.”


“I haven’t begun to cross it.”


“What the fuck are you talking about?”


“You, and my boss...”


“Former boss.”


“Whatever!  You and Skinner doing the horizontal mambo every night.  He’s an old man, you’re going to give him a heart attack.”


“So you’re pestering me long distance because of some misguided loyalty to your former superior?!  That’s rich, coming from you, Mr. I’ll-Break-Every-Rule-I-Know-to-Prove-I’m-Right.  You must have given Walter a million ulcers when you worked for him.”


“I am right, you Rat Bastard!  And you’re the one who gave him the ulcers.  He sounded out of breath and in pain when he just answered the phone.  If I find out that you’ve been torturing him, I’ll kill you myself!”


“Yeah, you and what army?  You couldn’t catch me before, what makes you think you can catch me now, Foooxxx?”


“You’re a fuck-wit, Krycek, you know that?  And don't call me Fox!”


“Oooh, very mature, Mr. I-got-my-psych-degree-at-Oxford.  Why are you bothering us in the first place?”


“I’m not bothering him, you are!”


“BOYS!” Skinner roared.  Mulder didn’t need the speaker phone to hear his former AD.  He was quite sure Skinner could be heard back in D.C.  “Alex, give me the phone,” Walter demanded.  Alex handed his lover the portable phone.


“Mulder, what do you want?”


“I only called to invite you to William’s 16th birthday party.”


“That's nice, Mulder.  You do know that if I attend, Alex will be attending with me,” Skinner growled low.


“Does he have to, sir?” Mulder whined.


“Yes, he does.  He’s my partner.  Where I go, he goes.”  Said partner took that opportunity to stuck his tongue out toward the phone.  Walter rolled his eyes.


“But sir...”  Walter could almost see Mulder stamp his foot.  “Sir, are you really all right?  I mean this is Krycek.” 


“I’m fine, Mulder,” Walter reassured his former agent.  His other former agent, turned spy-assassin came up behind Walter, wrapping his arms around his Bear’s waist, rubbing his hardening cock against Walter’s ass.


Walter gasped then groaned as Alex slipped slick fingers between his ass cheeks.


“Sir?  Walter?  Is everything all right?  Are you having trouble breathing?  What is that Rat Bastard doing to you?”


“Everything is just fine, Mulder,” Walter said breathlessly as Alex’s talented fingers slid home.  “More than fine,” Walter murmured as he turned in his lover’s arms.  “I hate you,” Walter whispered against Alex’s lips. 


Alex smiled as he took the phone out of Walter’s hand.  “Fine line between love and hate," Alex teased.  "Say goodbye, Mulder.”


“Goodbye, Mulder,” both Walter and Mulder repeated.


“Wait!  Walter?  KRYCEK, YOU RAT!”  Walter and Alex heard just before Alex threw the phone out of their bedroom window into the barnyard below.


“Now where were we before we were so rudely interrupted?” Alex asked as he licked Walter’s lips, guiding him back to bed.


“I think you were going to show me another way to torture me,” Walter purred as Alex cupped his heavy balls.


“Ah, yes, I have a million methods of torture,” Alex responded in a sultry voice; his emerald green eyes dark with lust.


“I just bet you do,” Walter agreed as he lay back onto the mattress, ready and willing to count the ways.




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