Unintended Consequences
“I don’t see why you won’t come with me,” Justin was complaining. “I might need moral support – even though I didn’t mean for it to happen and neither did Gus ….”
“Seems to me,” Brian pondered, “I warned you about getting Gus a chemistry set - but you went ahead anyhow and ….”
“You’re getting to be a real stick-in-the-mud, Brian Kinney,” Justin had to smile, “as you get older. Gus really wanted a chemistry set – and that friend of his, Abner, is always telling him about the stuff he does with his ….”
“Insulting me wouldn’t very likely get me to accompany you, Sweetheart,” Brian smiled back at him. “But I couldn’t come with you even if I wanted to. I’d have to laugh at the wrong time – and that would just make things worse.”
“Yeah, it would,” Justin had to admit. “And any laugh at all would probably be at the wrong time for old sour-puss Melanie. So even if I am completely innocent ….”
“Well you did fully mean to buy Gus a chemistry set …” Brian pointed out. “Against my good advice ….”
“So how was I supposed to know that Abner would show Gus these multicolored crystals that he had made with his chemistry set – and that Gus would decide to manufacture some on his own,” Justin reasoned.
“Which wouldn’t have been any problem if Abner’s formulas hadn’t omitted the information that hydrogen sulfide is a by-product of the reaction that produces the beautiful crystals,” Brian added.
“And if he hadn’t decided to make his crystals the very morning of Melanie’s little afternoon party for her law partners,” Justin continued, “it would have been OK. There wasn’t a real lot of hydrogen sulfide produced ….”
“A little bit of hydrogen sulfide can create a pretty big smell, Babe,” Brian told him. “I remember when I was a kid and the mills over in Hazelwood spouted it out several days a week. You could smell it like – miles away. They don’t call it ‘rotten egg’ gas for nothing ….”
“So who’s ever smelled a rotten egg, Kinney?” Justin wanted to know.
“Well eggs probably don’t get rotten these days,” Brian surmised. “Probably engineered the hens not to lay eggs that will rot. So I guess Melanie had to take her little party to the backyard. They have some spring flowers blooming already. That should have worked ….”
“Brian,” Justin remembered for him, “spring in Pittsburgh is a collection of winter days and summer days, interspersed every once in a while with a spring day or two. It snowed the morning of the party – then the snow turned to sleet. They couldn’t even open the windows ….”
“Geez, Baby,” Brian stifled a grin, “you and Gus sure did Melanie in with your chemistry set crap ….”
“It was all just a big accident, Brian,” Justin insisted. “Me and Gus wouldn’t do anything like that to Mel – not on purpose. On the other hand, if it had been you ….”
“Well it wasn’t me, Sunshine,” Brian maintained. “So I am off the hook – like – scot-free of any blame. But knowing you, you’ll weasel out of it somehow too – you’re the original Teflon Kid - and Mel will end up comforting you for ruining her party. I can see it now. Bet you’ve got something planned already ….”
“Well maybe I do, Mr. Kinney,” Justin smiled at him. “You’re right though. I’m just like – a victim too – just like Melanie. Thanks for reminding me that this whole business was not my fault at all. The chemistry set just seemed like such a good idea at the time ….”
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