Wild Thing
Brian and Justin seemed to be thrashing out a misunderstanding as they downed
their dinner at the diner – with Debbie attending to their every gustatory need
– and eavesdropping on their every word.
“Of course I read the directions, Kinney,” Justin was complaining. “I’m not like
– stupid or anything. I don’t think that whoever wrote those directions knew the
English language very well though …. And anyhow the whole thing is your fault….”
“My fault?” Brian wondered.
“Yep,” Justin reminded him. “We were over at my mother’s yesterday and you
decided her grass was too long and she said the kid that cuts her grass was away
for the week and afterwards you said I should like – go over there and cut it
and….”
“I told you to get a Robomower to do the job, Sweetheart?” Brian grinned. “No
way. If I knew you were gonna be using a robomower, I would have been there to
see the carnage. So what if I had a big meeting with a big account this morning.
Big accounts come and go - but you and a robomower….”
“Yeah and I’m mad at my mother too, BK,” Justin went on. “She had to call you
and tell you all the gory details. Fine mother she is….”
“Actually, Baby,” Brian replied. “In the interest of fair play and full
disclosure, I guess I should tell you that it was not your mother who told me.
Molly just happened to call me and we were talking and she mentioned….”
“Molly called you?” Justin was genuinely surprised. “Has Molly ever called you
before? And what were you talking about when she happened to mention the
robomower…?”
“Well it’s been a while but I think she called me once before – about five years
ago,” Brian recalled in reply. “But she didn’t like – know all the details of
today’s activity – so maybe you’d like to fill me in…..”
“Like you’d be interested at all under ordinary circumstances, Brian Kinney,”
Justin smiled just a little. “You think the whole thing’s funny. Well it’s not
that funny and it is your fault. I was thinking about what you said - this
morning over at the Institute – and I mentioned that I was gonna cut some grass
this afternoon and this kid – Bill – who’s a really nice guy - offered me the
use of his robomower – said it was real easy to use - and we have this roomba….”
“Which even I can use, JT,” Brian pointed out. “So it doesn’t take a rocket
scientist….”
“Roombas are house animals, Brian,” Justin differentiated. “Tamed and
domesticated. Robomowers are like – creatures of the jungle – wild things – with
a mind of their own….”
“Well what did you do to make it so mad at you that it chased you all over the
yard for like – a whole hour …?” Brian wanted to know. “That’s what I heard it
did….”
“Cut it out, Kinney,” Justin demanded. “It did not exactly chase me around
either. The damn thing worked pretty well and it did cut the grass all right and
then when I went to turn it off, it just wouldn’t and - when I went over to get
it, it maybe did look like it was chasing me….”
“And how did you finally get it turned off?” Brian faked some real concern.
“While you were running away from it….”
“I went across the street and waited for the battery to discharge, Smart-Ass,”
Justin told him. “I waited the thing out – so I won in the end – told you I was
smart – smarter than any robomower….”
“Well I’m glad you escaped unscathed, Babe. Mean old wild robomower. So maybe
we’re gonna get a robomower of our very own?” Brian laughed. “We can look for a
tame one. Whattaya think?”
“Maybe we should, Brian,” Justin agreed. “I’ll cut my mother’s lawn and you can
cut your mother’s lawn. I’ll go with you when you do. I wouldn’t miss it for the
world – and I bet I can learn a lot from watching you….”
Another voice chimed in at this point of almost agreement for the guys. “Neither
of you guys is very mechanical, you know,” Debbie told them. “I bet I got an
even better idea. I was looking for something to get Michael for his birthday.
I’ll get him one of those robomower animals and he can cut my grass for me with
it – and he’ll show you two how to work it so you can borrow it when you need
to….”
“Good idea, Deb,” the guys chorused – in agreement at last. “That’s the best
idea of the day.”
As Debbie cleared the dishes and went off to prepare Justin’s hot fudge-banana
delight with extra whipped cream, Brian whispered to the blond twink: “Where do
you suppose Debbie will get the robomower for Mikey?”
“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin grinned knowingly, “Anyplace they sell goats.”
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