Something Missing, Something Found

Part 3

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Brian was pretending to read the Sunday paper, but for once the business section held little interest for him. He was almost angry at himself for the feelings he was having about his neighbor. He had successfully put all those urges in a little box and kept them hidden somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind. At least he thought he had been successful, until he walked into the third floor loft. All he had to do was stay away from the blond and everything would be fine. He could go on with his life as before. No one would be the wiser. After all, he had Lindsay. He had been told enough times by friends and coworkers about how lucky he was to have her. Talented, bright, Playboy gorgeous. Yes, he was lucky alright. He let out a sigh.

"Have you met our new neighbor yet?"

"Neighbor? No. Why, have you?"

"Yeah, last night after you walked out. They were having a party. I went down to tell them to keep it quiet."

"I didn't "walk out". I simply went to see Melanie since you were so busy with "work". Anyway, what's he, or is it a she, like?"

"Well it was "work" and you don't seem to mind the money it brings in. It's a he. Our age. Seems nice enough." Brian didn't want to go into too much of an explanation about Justin. He was afraid he'd give away some clue as to his feelings when he met him.

"Well, I hope he's not the every weekend party type. That will get old really fast. You think he'll be having parties all the time?"

"He said it was just a housewarming party, so I don't think so."

"Good. Come eat lunch. I made some chicken salad from Friday's leftovers".

While the couple ate lunch, they talked about the coming week's activities. Brian's thoughts, though, were mostly on the downstairs neighbor. He had a hard time forgetting those blue eyes.

"So what do you think about it?" Lindsay said, as she took a bite of pickle. When Brian didn't respond quickly enough, she realized he wasn't paying attention to her. In fact, he had been acting strange all morning. "Brian! Are you listening to me?"

"Yes, of course I'm listening. Your parents want us to go to their house for dinner on Thursday, but you didn't know if I was going to be too tired after being out of town Wednesday night so you have to call your mother tomorrow morning and give her our answer. Anything else?"

"Just, do you want me to tell her we'll be there or not? You are so exasperating sometimes."

"My plane doesn't get in til four, so I don't think I'll be up to dinner with your parents. All they'll do is hint around about the fact that you're not pregnant yet. If you want to go, go ahead, but I'll just stay home."

"Fine."

"Fine."

"There's some chocolate cake, too. How `bout I make coffee and we can eat in the living room. Maybe watch Chicago again? Hmmm?"

"Sure. Whatever you want."

Lindsay was straightening the kitchen while a fresh pot of coffee was brewing. There was a knock on the door. "I'll get it," called Brian, from the living area. When he slid back the heavy door, he was surprised to see Justin standing there.

"Hey. I'm Justin. Remember? From the party last night? Downstairs?"

"I remember. You made enough noise, you and your friends. I'm Brian."

"Ah, yeah. Sorry `bout that. It won't happen again. Promise."

"Brian, who is it?" Lindsay asked, coming up behind her husband, towel in hand.

"Oh. Sorry. Justin, come on in. This is my wife, Lindsay. Hon, this is Justin. Our new neighbor."

Justin knew Brian was gay. His gaydar had been pinging ever since he laid eyes on the handsome man the night before. Daphne even knew he was gay. He had seen the ring, but thought maybe he was in a committed relationship with another man. What he didn't expect was a wife of the female variety.

Once the greetings were over, Brian indicated they should go sit down.

"I was just making coffee, and we were going to have some cake. Would you like to join us? Or I could get you a sandwich, if you haven't eaten."

"Uhhh, actually cake and coffee sounds good." Once Lindsay was gone, he turned his attention to Brian. "I just came by to apologize for all the noise last night. My friends surprised me with the party. Housewarming and all. They can get a little out of hand sometimes. I promise it won't happen again. At least, not very often. Of course, I could just invite you the next time, then you wouldn't care." Justin tilted his head and smiled one of his famous Sunshine smiles.

Brian shifted in his seat, not liking the effect that smile had on his body. He wasn't going to give in, no matter what. Even if he had to ask Justin to leave...

"Here you go, Justin." Lindsay was setting a plate with a large piece of chocolate cake on it and a mug of coffee in front of him. "Cream or sugar?"

"Both, thanks. This cake looks great. Did you make it?"

"Yes. I got the recipe from Brian's mother. It's chocolate chocolate chip. Brian's favorite."

"Mmm. It's delicious," Justin said, tasting his first forkful of the rich dessert.

"Brian, is something wrong? You look a little pale?"

Brian forced a little cough, unsure of his voice at that particular minute. "No, nothing's wrong. I'm fine."

They sat around and talked for an hour before Justin made his excuse to leave. Brian showed him the door. As he left, Justin off-handedly and lightly touched Brian's arm, sending a jolt of electricity through his body. He refused to let on what happened, and was glad Justin didn't linger any longer. As soon as he started down the steps, Brian closed the door.

"He seems really nice, doesn't he? I don't think he's married. At least he didn't mention a wife. I think he's had his heart broken and recently, too. I can tell. I wonder if he has a girlfriend. Maybe he'd be interested in..."

"Don't start setting him up with your friends. I don't think he'd be interested."

"Spoken like a true man," she huffed. "How can you be so sure anyway?"

"I just am. Leave him alone."

Many times over the next few weeks, Justin `just happened' to bump into Brian, mostly on his way in or out of their building. Brian soon discerned a pattern in the meetings. When Lindsay was with him, Justin would be polite and friendly, saying and doing the correct things, no matter what the circumstance. When Brian was alone, Justin openly flirted and made it a point to touch Brian in some way. Brian dreaded those touches, as they left him shaken and confused. But he also savored the feelings he got from them. He didn't dislike the touches and attention as much as he let on, and he was scared of the consequences. His world was spinning out of control and he didn't know what to do, save moving away and he was sure Lindsay wouldn't go along with that. Even he had to admit that moving was too drastic a measure for the problem.

"Brian, we need to talk." Brian groaned inwardly as Lindsay greeted him at the door with those ominous words. Geez, he hated that phrase.

"Can I at least change? It's been a long day."

"Fine. Change. Then I get your undivided attention."

Once Brian was comfortable, he poured himself a drink, sure he was going to need it. "Now, what do you want?"

"It's about Justin."

"Justin?"

"Yeah, our neighbor, Justin." When Brian didn't say anything, she continued. "I think he's gay and I think he's after you."

Brian looked at his wife, trying to keep his expression from giving anything away. "What do you mean, after me? I'm married and he knows it."

"Yeah, well, I don't think he cares about that. You're a good-looking guy, Brian. Haven't you been paying attention to the way he acts around you? He's all sweet and proper when I'm there, but I saw him yesterday, when you were going to the store. How he managed to bump against you for no reason. Surely, you've noticed."

Brian couldn't help but remember, as the sensation was still clear in his head. "I don't know what...I think you're exaggerating, Linds."

"I'm not, Brian, and I don't like it. If you don't tell him to keep his hands to himself, I will. And I won't be polite about it."

"Linds, Honey," he said, trying to calm her down, "you're all wrong about him and I won't tell him anything of the kind. And neither will you."

Lindsay looked at Brian, trying to put what he said in a context she could understand. "Why are you defending Justin?" she asked, afraid of the answer. She remembered some rumors she had heard in college. Rumors about Brian and some pre-med student. A male pre-med student. And his soccer coach. Her friend, Shelly said her boyfriend `saw' them in the locker room, together. She didn't believe them then, but now she was wondering. She always knew there wasn't the "great passion" in their life that her friends talked about. She loved Brian and was sure he loved her, but something was missing.

"I'm not defending him. You're just wrong about him."

"Am I? Are you attracted to him, Brian, cuz he's sure attracted to you."

Startled at the question, Brian just stared at her for a moment, then answered. "What are you talking about?" This whole idea, and the fact that Lindsay had brought it up, was too scary. He was on the defensive and he hated that.

"You know what I mean. Are you attracted to him?"

Brian didn't answer. He couldn't because he was afraid he'd give too much away and he wasn't ready for that just yet. He had too much to think about. Too much to sort out. "I think it would be best if I left for a few days."

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