Bigger Than Life






“I’ve got a little problem, Baby,” Brian informed Justin as they were driving home from a pre-Christmas visit with Gus.  “I don’t want to tell you about it, but I need to borrow your devious mind …..”


“Let me guess, Brian,” Justin replied with a knowing grin.  “I bet it has something to do with that big red package that came day before yesterday by UPS – clearly marked ‘Do not open till Christmas’ as I recall.”


“How did you know that?” Brian seemed surprised.  “Mind reading again?”


“Nope.  Just because the package was there when I left the loft this morning and I didn’t see it when I got home from the Institute this afternoon,” Justin explained.  “I don’t see how you could think I wouldn’t notice ….”


“Because I took it to that little gift-wrapping store next to the office,” Brian explained.  “The girl there said she could rewrap it so you’d never know – so I opened it.  It should have been back….”


“And she couldn’t rewrap it?” Justin seemed surprised.  “That wouldn’t be a hard job, Brian.  I could rewrap it so no one would ever know …..”


“That wasn’t the problem at all, Sweetheart,” Brian told him.  “Guess you can’t figure everything out after all – devious as you are.  It was from Ted – and it was a sweater…..”

“Gee whiz, Bri,” Justin responded.  “I thought everybody knew you didn’t like sweaters…..”

“Wrong again, Taylor,” Brian laughed.  “I don’t like sweaters usually – but I did like this sweater – and I even tried it on …..”

“So why didn’t you just get it re-wrapped and reopen it on Christmas?” Justin wondered.  “That wasn’t all that bad of a plan.  I don’t think I’d have figured that out at all – smart as I am.”


“Because the damn sweater doesn’t fit, Mr. Know-It-All,” Brian pointed out.  “Not even close.  It’s a size XXL.  I’d have to gain 50 pounds to wear it - and you wouldn’t like that ….”


“I could tolerate it better than you could, I bet,” Justin laughed.  “Let me just think about that for a while.  50 more pounds of Brian Kinney to love.  Might not be so bad …..”

“Shut up, Twink,” Brian commanded.  “I like that sweater and I want it in size M – and I can’t tell Ted without him knowing I opened it before Christmas ….”


“That ought to be easy, Bri,” Justin decided.  “What’s the problem?  Just wait till Christmas – pretend you opened it then – and then just exchange it for the right size,” Justin suggested.


“And you think you’re so smart?  How do you know for sure that style won’t be sold out by then, JT?” Brian objected.  “Geez – I could have figured that out myself – but I want that sweater – in my right size so …..”


“Well Ted probably bought it on the internet, Bri,” Justin told him.  “We can call the supplier and maybe exchange it before Christmas.  There had to be a mistake somewhere.  Ted knows you’re not an XXL….”


“Can we do that without Ted knowing?” Brian wondered.  “I wouldn’t want him to know that I didn’t wait till Christmas ….”


“We’ll get the 800 number and call them, Bri,” Justin suggested.  “We’ll make sure that we can do it – and then we can exchange the sweater and get the right size ….”


“Smart guy all right,” Brian pointed out.  “How in hell are you gonna find out where the hell he bought it from?  There’s no info in the package.  I looked.”


“Well maybe I know where Ted bought it, Bri,” Justin admitted.  “Or I could maybe make a good guess.  Anyhow you can leave that to me….”


“You were in on this, Baby?” Brian accused him.  “You let Ted order me a sweater – knowing I don’t like sweaters….”

”I think you look great in sweaters.  And maybe I thought you’d like this one, Bri,” Justin defended himself.  “And I was right too.  You did like the sweater so …..”


“OK, Mr. Devious-Mind,” Brian told him.  “So you can just go and fix this whole thing – all by yourself.  You get the damn sweater exchanged – now - and get me the right size too …..”


“Hey, Brian,” Justin laughed at him  “I got a better idea.  Since you like this sweater so much, maybe we should keep this one and just order the right size too.  Who knows what the future might bring?”


“Hey, Taylor,” Brian threatened unthreateningly. “Like – I’m driving right now but we’re almost home - and I won’t be driving then …..”

“I know that, Kinney,” Justin grinned.  “Like – I’m pretty smart about stuff like that too.”


“Yeah,” Brian admitted, “I guess you are.”


And Brian was sure he’d get his sweater – in the right size too.  But that wasn’t exactly what he was thinking about right then.


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