It's a Cocky Life


Ted had a mischievous look in his eyes. Emmett looked at his friend a bit worried.

"Okay Teddy, what's going on?"

"I've decided to start a company. Well in fact, I've already started it," Ted explained excitedly.

"A company? Sweetie, you do remember what happened last time you ventured into the business world? It wasn't pretty."

"I know but his time everything is legal, don't worry."

"Okay, if you say so. So, what kind of company are you talking about?"

"Well, what is your favorite thing to do?"

Emmett thought for a moment. "Singing Barbra?"

Ted looked at Emmett. "Emmett, it's me. You can tell the truth. I repeat: What is your favorite thing to do?"

Emmett looked a bit confused. Then it hit him. "Oh! Taking it up the ass?"


Emmett smiled but then turned serious. "But Teddy, brothels aren't legal."

Ted rolled his eyes. "It's not a brothel; it's a company that sells things."

"Things? What things? Could you be a bit more specific?"

"Dildos. Every color, every size. What do you think? Do you like it?"

Emmett's mind was already on all the free samples he could have and a smile formed on his lips. "Fabulous, absolutely fabulous! If you ever need a test driver, I'm here. And I'm cheap."

"Good to know that you're available."

"What are friends for!" Emmett said grinning.

"So, what do you say, should we go for a drink to celebrate?" Ted asked.

"Oh, of course! Woody's?"

"Where else?"

"Off we go!"

Just when Emmett was about to open the door, he abruptly stopped. "Oh my God! How can I be so stupid? Are there any brain cells left in me? Someone should smack me. Where's Debbie when you need her? I'm sorry, Teddy."

"Emmett, what's wrong?"

"I'm an idiot, that what's wrong. I'm a party planner and I didn't think of it! A party! We have to throw a launch party for your company!"

Ted tried to hide his smile. He had secretly hoped for a party but didn't want to suggest it himself. "Yeah, sounds good."

Emmett almost jumped up and down in excitement. "Whee! This is going to be great! I have to start the planning as soon as possible.

"Can we go to Woody's anyway?"

"Of course! We can do a little brainstorming. I already have some ideas."

"I'm not sure I want to know," Ted said looking a little nervous.

"Oh Teddy, don't be silly. You love my parties!"

Ted gave his friend a look but didn't say anything. On the inside he agreed.


"What? Dildos?" Brian asked.

"Yeah. I'm sure you've seen those sometimes. They're like dicks but not real, you know."

Brian looked askance at Justin. "Thanks for the clarification, brainy."

"You're welcome," Justin said grinning.

"I guess we have to go then," Brian said.

"Of course. We need to show our support to Ted. And who knows, maybe we'll get a free sample."

At this point Brian sidled up to Justin. "A free sample, huh?" Brian pulled Justin against his body so he could feel Brian's half-hard cock on him. "Do you really think we need that kind of help?"

Justin felt his own cock react to Brian's on his body. "Umm… uh… no."

Brian leaned slowly against Justin and kissed him deeply. "I thought so," Brian said and pulled Justin towards their bedroom.


Ted and Emmett were looking around in Ted's brand new toy store.

"Oh Teddy, this is amazing! I'm sure all of Pittsburgh will love this place."

"Yeah, I hope so. This is all I've dreamed about. I couldn't have done it without your help though. Thank you, Emmett. I really appreciate it."

"Aww… it was my pleasure. Are you ready for the launch party tomorrow night?"

"Well, I guess so."

"You don't sound very convincing."

"It's just that I'm not sure what to expect."

"Trust me, you'll love it."


Brian and Justin were standing in front of Ted's store on Liberty Avenue.

"This is it?" Brian asked, a hint of disdain in his voice.

"Well this is the address Emmett gave me."

"Looks like crap."


"What? This brown bag theme doesn't really get me excited."

"Come on, Brian, the store won't open till Monday so I'm sure the window will look different then."

"I certainly hope so."

"You're so doubtful."

"That's part of my charm," Brian said smirking.

Justin just gave his partner a look. "Let's go inside, I think we're late."

The store was decorated with all kinds of dildos hanging down from the ceiling and there was a big rainbow-colored sign that said Welcum!. All the VIPs were there: Ted of course, Emmett, Michael, Ben and Hunter, Debbie and Carl, Mel and Lindz, Cynthia, Jennifer and some selected guests. Todd, the guest of honor, was in one corner already making out with a blond guy.

"At least someone is enjoying the party," Brian said.

"Uh huh."

"Glad you two could come too," Debbie said. "You are late," she said with a firm tone in her voice.

"Sorry, something came up."

"As usual," Hunter started, "I just wish you'd invite me too some time."

"In your dreams, little boy."

"One day, Brian. One day," Hunter said and winked.

Emmett tapped on his glass to get attention.

"Okay people, now that all of the guests," he looked directly at Brian and Justin, "have arrived, we can start. I'm very pleased to welcome you here to celebrate the launch party of my dear friend Theodore's new store. Without further ado, welcome to Ted's Treasure Island!"

The crowd went wild with applause and whistles.

"Way to go, Ted!"

"Congrats, Teddy!"

"Woohoo! Let the party begin!"

"Okay people," Emmett started, "enjoy the food and drinks, there's plenty!"

The party went along like any other party: people ate, drank and then drank some more. At this particular party, people also got acquainted with all kinds of dildos. Ted reminded his guests several times not to steal anything - he was still an accountant at heart.


Emmett had ordered some extra-special cakes for the party: all cakes were penis-shaped. Some of the cakes stood at full attention; some were in more relaxed states - nevertheless all looked delicious.

Emmett was standing by the cakes when Brian wrapped his arm around Emmett's shoulders. "Please don't drool on the cakes, Em, no one wants to eat wet cakes."

"I am not drooling; I'm just checking that all the cakes are in perfect condition."


"Besides, what do you care? You're not going to eat them anyway."

"Just making sure all the guests are safe."

"Uh huh."


"Theodore, do you have a minute?" Debbie asked.

"For you, always."

Debbie smiled. "Theodore, here's something for you."

"For me? Debbie, you shouldn't have."

"Of course I did. Open it!"

Ted ripped off the red and gold wrapper. He found a distinguished black, longish bag with silver decorations.

"Umm… this looks wonderful. But… what is it?" Ted asked perplexed.

"For fuck's sake! It's a travel bag for a dildo."

"Oh! Of course! I love it!"

"Now every time you go to Europe or anywhere to check out the new fashions in dildos, you can take your favorite dildo with you and travel in style. I made it myself," Debbie said rather proud of herself.

"I'm touched, Debbie. Thank you."

"You're welcome, honey," Debbie said and took Ted into her infamous bear hug.

"Okay, enough with the mushy stuff; I think it's time for the cake now."

Debbie whistled loudly to get the crowd's attention.

"Okay people, it's time to cut the cock… umm… cake. Ted, you wanna do the honor?"

"Oh no. What about Em?"

"Me? No way. I can put it in my mouth but I am NOT going to mutilate any cock."

"Jeez! Michael? Brian? Anyone? Come on boys!"

It was obvious that none of the men were going to cut the cake.

"For fuck's sake, it's only a cake!" Debbie said looking around. "Fine," she sighed, "I'll cut it."

When Debbie cut the cake, all the males in the crowd made an uhh-sound and winced.

"It's not attached to your body, so buck up!"

"I could almost feel the knife in my crotch," Emmett said shuddering.

Debbie rolled her eyes and stuck a plate at Emmett. "Shut up and eat!"

"Okay okay, your wish is my command, Ma'am."

"The only sure way to shut Emmett up - fill his mouth with dick," Brian said.

"Uh huh," Emmett mumbled with his mouth full of cake.


Ted had stepped onto the little platform to make an announcement.

"Dear friends, I have a little surprise for you. Ben, could you give me a hand?"

"Umm… sure."

"We'll get something from my car; it'll only take a minute. Don't go anywhere!"

"Whee! Do you think we'll get free samples?" Emmett asked.

"I bet it's a tiny cock key ring," Brian said.

"Brian!" Justin exclaimed.

"What?" Brian smirked. "It might be a pen too."

Justin rolled his eyes at his not-so-subtle partner.

After a while Ted and Ben came back carrying two cardboard boxes.

Emmett started jumping up and down. "I knew it, I knew it! Presents!"

"Jeez Emmett, calm down!" Michael said.

Emmett just stuck out his tongue at Michael.

"Okay, can I have your attention, please?" Ted said from the platform.

All the guests at the party grew quiet and waited with anticipation for what was to come.

"Thank you. I'm very pleased that all of you have come here tonight to celebrate with me, I really appreciate it. And to show my appreciation, I've decided to give you all something to remember this evening. You can choose the color - green, pink or transparent."

"Teddy, show us already! I'll take a pink one," Emmett said all excited.

"Patience. First, I want to tell you a bit about this product. I found out about it through a business associate of mine. He spent some time in Europe in the summer and saw it in several countries and found out that there were no distributors in the States. Until now. I'm the first and only storekeeper that has these in the US."

All the guests burst into furious applause and cat whistles.

"Thank you, thank you. Settle down. Okay, let me introduce you to a work of art by a Finnish designer Stefan Lindfors. I give you: Serpent!"

Everybody was staring at a long, pink, somewhat snake-shaped dildo.

"Holy shit!" Debbie exclaimed. "What the fuck is that?"

"Why, Deb, I know you had a long drought without these things, but I thought Horvath would have re-introduced you to them."

"Watch it, Kinney," Carl said behind Debbie.

"I could tell you things but I don't think you could handle it," Debbie said.

Brian just raised his eyebrow at the couple.

"This is a designer dildo and like I already said, you're the first persons in the US to have their hands on it. Please, come forward and take a closer look."

No one was really surprised that Emmett was first in line.

"Wow, this looks… interesting. Does it work?"

"I don't know; these came today so I haven't had the chance to try."

"I'm sure Em can handle the testing," Brian said.

"And I'll do it with pleasure," Emmett said.

"I bet," Michael scoffed.

Justin was already at the front receiving his Serpent. "I'll take a transparent one, please. Brian doesn't appreciate bright colors."

"Makes you wonder why Justin is so enthusiastic to get a new toy," Michael pointed out.

"Well, Brian isn't getting any younger. Maybe the boy needs some outside help," Debbie added.

"Fuck you," was Brian's only answer to the doubting Novotnys.

"Ooh, touchy," Debbie laughed.




"Can we leave? I'm kinda tired."

Brian cocked his eyebrow.


Brian felt Justin's forehead. "No fever."

"No, I'm feeling fine."

Brian stared at Justin.

"What?" Justin asked impatiently.

"You're the last person that leaves the party early. So my dearest, what's the catch?"

"There's no catch."

"Come on, you're a terrible liar."

Both men were silent and just stared at each other. All of a sudden Brian grabbed Justin's crotch and made him moan. "Aah, you're hard. You just want to go home and fuck."

"So what if I do? Can you blame me? All this talk about dildos and stuff. How can you NOT be hard?"

"I guess you want to explore the possibilities of Serpent as well, huh?"

"Why not?" Justin grinned.

"You have such a dirty mind, Sunshine."

"And you love it."

"And smug on top of everything."

Justin licked his lips slowly.

Brian studied Justin from head to toe. "Let's go test the battery life on that thing," he said with a smirk.

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