That Night

Brian turned over at the sound of knocking at the loft door. He didn’t bother to get up to answer it. Michael would do that. He stared at the ceiling, listening to the whispered voices in the living room. Ted and Emmett were here now. Pieces of conversation filtered to his ears. He didn’t really need to know what they were saying. He was sure they were all saying the same thing, or different versions of the same theme.

“I still can’t believe...”

“Is he okay?”

“Has he spoken to anyone?”

Tears ran down his cheek as he tried to remember what, exactly, did happen.

It started with the phone call from Daphne. She was crying, the sobs making it hard for him to understand her words. At first, all he got was something about Justin and the hospital. And blood. He went pale as he tried to put everything together. Somehow, Justin was injured at he prom and was taken to UMC.

“Brian, please come,” she cried into the phone just before hanging up.

He pulled the white shirt from the closet and stabbed his arms into the sleeves as he put his bare feet into a pair of shoes. It didn’t matter that the buttons of the shirt were slightly askew. He grabbed his keys from the dresser and flew down the flight of stairs to his Jeep.

The drive to the hospital took fifteen minutes despite his speeding and the relatively deserted streets. His mind wandered, trying to imagine what could have happened at a prom that would cause someone to end up in the emergency room. He thought back to the evening Justin had asked him to go to the prom with him. He remembered the disappointed look on the teen’s face when he told him to buy a corsage for someone else. He was thirty years old and not about to go to some high school dance with a bunch of eighteen year olds. No way. Not Brian Kinney. He had a reputation to uphold.

Brian pressed his lips together, wondering if things would have been different if he had gone.

The automatic doors opened before him. He headed towards the reception station, but stopped when he saw the teenager sitting by herself in the hallway. Her pink dress was smeared with blood and tears marked trails down her pale face. He went over and sat beside her, pulling her to him with one arm as he slowly rubbed her back with the other, letting her cry onto his chest. He wanted to know what was going on, what happened and how was Justin, but he knew anything she said at that point would be pretty much incoherent.

Four sets of eyes turned to the doors leading into the ER treatment area. A doctor in green scrubs eyed Jennifer and walked slowly towards her. They all knew what he was going to say. There isn’t any way to hide the truth, no matter how long you’ve been a doctor. When someone so young... “I’m sorry, Mrs. Taylor. The injury to his brain was too extensive. There was nothing we could do. You can go see him in a few minutes. A nurse will be out. Someone can go in with you.”

She turned to Brian, pleading with her eyes. He nodded. He needed to see his Sunshine. To prove that it was really him. That he was really dead. That he would never again see his Sunshine smile. That he would never again hold him. That he would never again kiss those soft lips. That he would never again feel the soft perfect skin next to him. That he would never again make love to him. That...he would never again make love with him.

Now, here he was, lying in his bed. A bed that was cold and empty and lonely. He had made it through the past three days, not really sure how, though. Now it was over, really over. He thought of all the things he should have told him when he had the chance. Things like, I miss you when you’re not here. Like, I love to watch you draw, how you bite the corner of your bottom lip when you’re concentrating on just the right line or shadow. Like, I really do like your jambalaya. Like, how watching you through the glass of the shower does things to me no one else has ever been able to do, and I haven’t even touched you yet. Like, I can’t sleep when you’re not in bed with me and I can’t put my arms around you.

Like, I love you.

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