Chapter 7

Brian feels me trembling.

He pulls his lips away from mine and I mourn the loss. He stares into my eyes and the gaze is so intimate, so intense, that I almost have to look away. I hold his gaze, letting him see my desire…and my fear.

"Are you sure you want this?" He asks me, stroking my cheekbone with the pad of his thumb.

No, I'm not sure.

"Yes," I whisper. "Will it hurt?"

He sighs. That isn't good.

"It will hurt a little bit, but I'm going to do everything I can to make this absolutely perfect for you. I promise."

"Ok…hurt like ow I bumped my head? Or ow I just got a limb chewed off by a rabid animal?" I laugh nervously and he smiles.

He kisses my lips again, so tenderly. I feel his cock against my thigh and I absently rub up against him.

My head is spinning. My body is shaking.

I'm aware of his lips against my cheek, against my neck, on my collarbone. I take a deep breath and let it out slowly. I will myself to calm down.

I want this.

I want this with him.

He kisses down my body until he reaches my belly button. He circles it with his tongue and dips it in and out slowly as he soothingly rubs my hips.

It's really hard to be nervous when he does that.

His lips move lower and that's when I realize that after all we've done, I haven't felt his mouth on my dick. I have a feeling I'm about to.

When his lips encase the leaking tip of my cock, I feel a moan escape my lips. I don't hear it due to the blood pulsating between my ears. He's helping me relax, after he's waited for so long. He's being so patient with me.

He cares about me.

My dick slips deep into his mouth, and he sucks me with what I can only imagine is an expert technique. I feel my body relax and I moan softly as his thumbs move in circles on my hipbones.

At this moment, I'm not scared.

I want to experience this, all of this, with him.

He deep throats me and swallows around my cock and I almost lose it. My hips arch up into his mouth and he bobs up and down slowly. I look down and see that mop of chestnut hair move up and down. He looks up and meets my eyes and I smile at him.

He presses his tongue into my slit, and I shoot.

He swallows it all. I watch him lick a drop of my juices from his lips.

"Feel better?" He asks me. I nod and grin sleepily. I watch him start to jack himself off slowly, his strong hand sliding up and down.

Why is he doing that?

I sit up and furrow my brows in confusion.

"I need to, Justin. I need to cum or I won't make it." He pumps faster and cums into his hand with a loud groan. He starts to lick his juices from his hand and I sit up to help him. He tastes so good.

I run my hand down his bronzed skin, feeling his abs under my fingertips. When I reach his groin, he hardens again. He gently pushes me back onto the bed and climbs on top of me. He's right. I feel much more relaxed.

"Do you want me to tell you what I'm doing as I do it?" He asks as he smoothes my damp hair away from my forehead. I nod a little. He leans down to kiss me and I see him pick up the tube of lube out of the corner of my eye. My body tenses up again for a moment, but then he kisses me harder, with that kiss, and I turn to jelly.

"I'm going to use my fingers first, to loosen you up." I nod and spread my legs a little, giving him better access. I watch him squeeze a large amount of the liquid onto his long fingers. He rolls them around, making it warm. He lifts one of my legs and slips one finger in slowly.

It's not bad, a tiny pinch. I've done this before, during desperate jerk offs when nothing else seemed to work.


"Yes." Wow, my voice worked. I thought it was gone forever.

"Another finger." I feel him pull his index finger out. Then I feel two fingers push back in, so slowly. I wince. He leans over and kisses me as he moves his fingers in and out, in and out. In and oh god.

"Feel good?" His voice is hot against my lips. I nod and push back against his fingers. He moves them a little faster and starts scissoring them apart. I feel the pinch again and my face twists up. He licks a bead of sweat from my upper lip and kisses me again.

I can't stop shaking. This is so incredible.

"Oh god," I breath into his mouth. He eats my words and kisses me again.

"Another." His voice is so low, so soft. I keep my focus on his eyes as he slides a third finger into my tight hole. I feel my muscles grip him and pain burns through me. How is he supposed to fit? Oh god.

He moves his fingers in and out, his eyes never leaving mine. I feel pleasure coursing through my veins. He's watching me. He's watching my every expression. He's listening to my every whimper. He's so very alert.

I'm so very gone.

I feel his fingers leave me and I feel empty. Please put them back. I push my hips back wantonly and moan in protest.

"Are you ready, Justin?" His voice sounds far away.

Yes, I'm ready. Please, share this with me. Take me.

"Do it." I swallow hard. My throat is so dry. I open my eyes and look at him. He gets between my legs and opens the box of condoms. His hands are shaking. I see the box trembling. He pulls the little foil packet out and tosses the box to the floor. I watch him roll it onto his hard dick. It's so big, so thick.

It's about to possess me, fill me, take me.

Oh god.

He squirts more lube onto his fingers and I watch him warm it again. He strokes it into his shaft, coating it liberally. He rubs a large amount around my hole and wipes his hand on a towel I placed near the end of the bed. I watch him close his eyes and take a deep breath. He's steadying himself. He's getting ready. I take a deep breath too.

Everything is moving in slow motion. Everything is so intense.

"Put your legs up on my shoulders." His voice is shaking. He guides my legs up onto his shoulders, stretching the muscles of my thighs. He runs his hands up my legs to my knees and holds my knees tightly.

I watch him take deep breaths, in and out. I do the same.

"I want you to know something, Justin." I look up at him. My eyelids feel so heavy. "This isn't just a fuck. You're important to me. This means something."


I'm no longer falling. I'm plummeting. And I'm about to smack bottom.

"I care about you, too." I reach up and touch his cheek. He leans down and kisses me. My knees are on either side of my face. My thighs burn. I feel his dick against my ass. It's so hard.

"Ready, Justin?" He asks me, staring straight into my eyes.

I've never been more ready for anything in my entire life.


"Ok. Tell me if it hurts too much or you want me to stop ok? I want this to be so good for you." I nod and kiss him again. He sits up and I watch him take his cock in his hand. I feel the blunt head press against my puckered hole and my head falls back against the pillow.

Oh god. This is it.

I force myself to keep my eyes open. I want to see his face. I bite down on my lip and cry out as the head of his cock breeches my body.

Ow, ow, ow.

He stops when just the head is in. It burns. Shit. I feel tears well up in the corners of my eyes and panic spreads across his face.

"Are you ok? Do you want me to stop?"

No. Yes.

"No." He rubs my hips soothingly and doesn't move a single muscle until I adjust. Once I feel the burn go away, I nod for him to continue. He pushes in a little bit more and I clench. It's too much.

"Justin, you have to let me in. Let me in." He kisses my lips, my eyes, my throat, my forehead.

I want to. I can't.

"How?" Oh god, I want to.

"Push me out. Trust me, just push me out." I push and he slides in.

Oh. My. Fucking. God.

"Oh god, Justin." It hurts, but it's laced with pleasure. He slides in all the way. Oh god, I can feel his balls against my ass. He's in.

Oh my god. He's all the fucking way inside of me.

"So tight, Justin. So good. Oh fuck." He's babbling incoherently against my lips. I feel so full, so complete. I feel the pain give away to something else…something intense. I want more. Fuck, can it get better than this?

He lifts his head up and looks into my eyes. He kisses me, and neither of us breaks the gaze.

"How do you feel?" He asks as his fingers tangle themselves in my sweaty hair. I slide my hands up his back, feeling the perspiration that is gathering on his skin.

"I feel…full. I feel amazing." He smiles and kisses me again.

"You feel incredible. So hot." He kisses me. "So tight." He kisses me again. "You're squeezing me like a vice inside of you. You're perfect." Another kiss.

I moan. His hands slide up and his fingers tweak my nipples. Holy shit.

"Can I move now?" He asks me as he kisses my temple.

"It gets better?" He laughs. I smile.

"Much better. Let me show you." I look right into his eyes.

"Show me."

Show me all of it.

He props himself up over me and stares down at me adoringly. I feel him pull his hips back and his dick starts to leave me.

No, don't go.

He pulls out until just the head lingers inside of me. Then he pushes back in, so fucking slowly that I could cry. My legs slip down and I wrap them around his waist. I grab his shoulders, his neck, his hair, anything. He moves in and out, over and over, until I scream in pleasure.

I could die right now, and my only regret would be that I'd never get to feel this again. We never break away from the hold our eyes have on each other. I memorize each and every gold fleck, every stripe of green, every spot of brown. His eyes are incredible.

My hands slide down to his ass as he moves a little faster. Our moans echo in my ears. The smell of sex and sweat and oh god him, fill the air. I push my hips back to meet every thrust, every stroke. My cock is leaving a puddle of juices on my stomach and they slide into my bellybutton as he lifts my ass up.

It can't get any better than this.

"I've got something else to show you," he grunts out. His voice is so primal, so rough. I love it.

"What's that?" I'm so surprised I can form actual words. He smiles wickedly and he pulls almost all the way out. I feel him angle his hips in a different way. He thrusts in hard and something inside of me just explodes.

Oh my god. Holy fuck.

"What was that?" I pant out. My entire body is tingling. "Please do it again."

"That was your prostate. And you've got it." He does it again and I arch up and moan. I can't even describe this. He does it again, and I feel my orgasm explode inside of me.

I orgasm in colors. Bright hues of orange, purple, and red. Then it all fades to black.

Brian thrusts once, twice, three times, and he follows right behind me. He groans out and his entire body stiffens for a moment, his neck stretching back in a graceful curve. He collapses on top of me, pinning me to the bed.

My body is completely limp. I don't think I can ever move again. But when Brian goes to pull out, I seem to find the strength to grab his shoulders.

"No. Don't go." He smiles and rests back on top of me.

"Am I too heavy?"

"Not at all."

"That was so amazing," he breathes out. I know what he means.

"It was incredible. Thank you." I kiss his chin, feeling a hint of rough stubble scrape my lips.

"Thank you." He kisses my lips and stares into my eyes, his lips turning up into a smile that I can't even begin to describe.

Thud. I've hit bottom.

Here's the deed to my heart, Mr. Kinney. Where do I sign?

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