"What if ..."

Brian Confronted Justin and Told him of His Feelings in Front of Ethan

Also called "Declaration"

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The air was crisp and cold, energizing the steps of the denizens of Liberty Avenue as they went about their daily business. A brown-haired man stood on the corner, his breath forming translucent clouds about his head as it dipped in time with the music flowing from his violin. Eyes closed in concentration, he appeared oblivious to the audience around him. When the last notes faded from the instrument in his hands, he glanced up and met the gaze of a blond youth hovering at the edge of the crowd, face breaking into a welcoming grin.

An answering smile graced the features of the teenager. Not the incandescent smile that earned him his nickname of 'Sunshine', but one soft with the affection and awe he held for the youthful street performer. As the gathered spectators threw money into the open case lying on the sidewalk, he stepped forward and quietly said, "Hey."

"Hey yourself. Are you ready to get out of here?" At his companion's nod, the curly-haired musician stooped, collecting the crowd's donations and replacing his violin gently into its case. "Hungry? We could stop and pick up something from the deli down the street and eat in the park."

"Sounds good."

The two young men made their way down Liberty Avenue, arms wrapped loosely around each other's waist. The various people they passed smiled at the romantic sight of the lovers, now whispering to each other, clearly engrossed in what the other was saying.

A tall, elegantly dressed figure moved from the shadow of a nearby building, watching as the men disappeared into the restaurant. Anger and pain battled for a place in his chest, neither gaining an advantage. The anger was directed at his former partner, who had left him for the transient words and ideals of a perfect love, as well as at himself, for allowing said departure to occur.

The pain-ah, the pain was like a hot knife, twisting in his heart until he almost felt nauseous from the sharp ache. He never planned for this-never intended to open himself up to anyone, to love someone, to want somebody with an all-encompassing yearning.

He sensed he was standing at a crossroads, needing to choose which route his life would take. He could either return to his previous life, closing off his heart behind a newly repaired and fortified barricade, or take a risk and accept the emotions that had once been offered to him on a silver platter.

The man turned and headed the opposite direction, away from the lovers. As he walked to his 'Vette, he felt an almost overwhelming need to scream his frustration out to the world. Chewing on his lower lip to prevent the sounds from escaping, he slid into the front seat of the vintage car, turning the ignition and gunning the engines-the vehicle was soon racing through the busy streets of the city.

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Justin gave a satisfied sigh as he crumpled his wrapper and tossed it into a nearby trashcan. He leaned his elbow onto the picnic table, propping his head up on his hand and watched as Ethan finished his sandwich. He enjoyed these quiet moments with his lover, but there were times when he longed for more-more excitement, more passion, more… Brian.

He closed his eyes, thinking ruefully, 'God, I'm such a hypocrite. I left Brian because I wanted romance, and here I sit, two months into a supposedly wonderful relationship, craving what he gave me all the time.'

"Penny for your thoughts," Ethan smiled over at the blond artist, wondering what he was thinking about to put such a serious look on his beautiful face.

"Umm, nothing really. So, what are we going to do this evening?" Justin gave himself a quick mental shake-there was no point in thinking about Brian any more. That door had been firmly slammed in his face at the Rage party. "If you don't have anything planned, what do you say to hitting Babylon tonight? I feel like dancing."

"Weelll," Ethan didn't want to put his reluctance about going to the nightclub into words. He knew that even though Justin had seen Brian around Liberty Avenue, there hadn't been any opportunities for the two former lovers to spend any significant time together. He didn't want to give Brian any chance to win the blond back, provided of course he even cared enough to try. He continued, "Some of my friends were going to get together tonight, maybe play some cards, drink some wine and talk. I thought we could go over for a while. What do you think?"

Justin tried not to grimace, but wasn't completely successful. Putting on his most winning smile, he pleaded gently, "Come on, Ethan. How about this-we go over to your friends' place, have a glass of wine then go to Babylon later?" He purposely batted his lashes at the young musician, really putting on a show for the other man.

Ethan grinned-how could he resist the appeal in those gorgeous eyes. "Wow, a compromise. What a brilliant idea, babe-this way we both get to do what we want."

Justin jumped up, anxious to get going. He could tolerate Ethan's artsy group of friends for a while, since he knew he would soon be under the flashing lights, dancing his heart out on the floor of Babylon. "Let's go."

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Brian walked through the darkened loft, listening to the echoes of his footsteps on the wooden floor. His home had always been his haven, a place of refuge where he could retreat whenever the world became too much for him. However, since Justin had moved out, the loft didn't afford him the sense of safety he had come to depend on.

Getting water from the refrigerator, he opened it and drank deeply. Placing the half-full bottle onto the counter, he thought, 'Fuck this. There's no way I'm sitting here, feeling fucking sorry for myself. Time for a little pain management.'

He entered the bedroom and stood in front of his closet, deliberating on tonight's 'let's fuck' outfit. He finally chose a burgundy, long-sleeved silk tee shirt and a pair of well-fitting black jeans. Brian dressed quickly, slipped a pair of black Prada boots onto his feet and grabbing his keys and leather jacket, headed out the door.

He was determined not to think tonight-only feel.

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Justin was bored. Most of Ethan's friends were musically oriented and while Justin enjoyed listening to various types of music, he couldn't pretend to be as passionate about classical music as they were.

He moved about the apartment, idly picking up a book and leafing through it. He felt someone approach him from behind and turning, came face to face with Ethan.

The musician smirked when he saw the title of the book Justin held, 'Musical Theory from the Age of Baroque', "God, you must be bored to death, if you're willing to read that. I couldn't even wade through it." He gently removed the book from Justin's grip, putting it down on the table nearby, slid his hands around the blond's hips and pulled him close. Ethan leaned over and softly kissed the pouty lips of his boyfriend, "Alright, time for your prize for being so patient. Let's tell everyone goodnight and go to that nightclub of yours." He was rewarded with a bright smile.

The two men gathered up their coats, replying to the cries of "Good night," with a wave of the hand. They exited the apartment building and walked to the bus stop. Justin bounced in place as he stood waiting for the bus. He was looking forward to the rest of the evening. He hadn't been back to the club since Ethan and he had walked away from Brian on the night of the Rage party.

He had an overwhelming feeling that tonight would be special.

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Brian glided through the crowd at Babylon, moving as though he were a panther on the prowl. He approached the bar and ordered a double shot of Beam. Taking his glass, he went up the steps to the catwalk. Standing there, he could observe the mass of writhing bodies out on the dance floor and pick out his first trick of the night. He smiled at the sight of so many beautiful men to choose from. This is what he needed-no more thinking about Justin this evening.

He had a good feeling that tonight would be a success.

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Ethan gazed around the club as they entered the main room. He had never been comfortable with this aspect of gay life. He considered the nightclubs to be nothing more than meat markets-not a place where he wanted to spend much time in. He stared at Justin, noting the blissful expression on the blonde's face as he began swaying to the hypnotizing beat of the music. He had never seen this side of his lover before, and wasn't sure he liked it.

He had a strange feeling that tonight would be a disaster.

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Brian had been surveying a delicious redhead on the floor, enjoying the gleam of moisture on the man's bare chest as he danced, when a flash of blond hair caught his attention, causing his heart to skip. He slid his eyes to the right-shit, it was Justin, here with his little fiddler.

Jealousy, an emotion he had hoped never to experience, ripped through him like a sword as he watched the two men weave their way through the gyrating figures on the dance floor. Once they reached the center, Justin threw his head back and closed his eyes, instantly absorbed in the atmosphere surrounding him. He began moving, his slender body instinctively matching his moves to the music.

Brian smiled evilly at the sight of Ethan, moving awkwardly in front of Justin. He danced as if he had never been on a dance floor before. 'Shit, even I can do better than that.' His eyes shifted to the blond figure, comparing the two dancers and smiled. Justin could definitely heat up the floor.

The tall brunet eyed the couple, finally reaching a decision. He pushed off from the railing he had been leaning against and headed down the stairs. It was time.

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'God, this feels so good. I didn't realize just how much I missed dancing. I can be myself here, on the dance floor. If only I was with Brian…' Justin immediately pushed that thought away-it wasn't fair to Ethan. He opened his eyes and laughed. He couldn't help himself-Ethan was a pathetic dancer. Justin tried to show the curly-haired youth a few moves, but soon gave it up as a hopeless task. He continued to dance, enjoying the sense of release he had, when a long arm snaked its way about his middle.

Justin's eyes met Ethan's, which had widened at the sight of whoever was standing so close behind him. 'Wow, either the guy is really hot or…' His breath caught as he was pulled back, arm tightening as he was held snugly against a hard body. He knew that body… intimately. He had danced with it, had been fucked by it, had fucked it, and had made love to it…

Warm lips began nibbling along Justin's bare neck, slowly moving against the blond's sensitive skin. Justin groaned, his eyes fluttering closed, 'Oh God…'

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Ethan couldn't believe his eyes. Brian fucking Kinney had approached Justin from behind, apparently planning to re-stake his claim on his former lover. Getting a firm hold on the lithe body in front of him, Kinney promptly attacked Justin's bent neck.

Surely, Justin wouldn't allow…

Finally realizing that Justin wasn't going to end the assault, Ethan reached out to pull the brunet's hand from his boyfriend's waist.

"Fuck off, Ian."

"Listen, Kinney…"

Brian stopped kissing the tasty flesh of Justin's neck and looked up, staring directly into Ethan's eyes, "Time for you to go, little boy. Justin's mine-I just loaned him to you for a time. Now, I'm taking him back."

Justin slowly pulled out from the sensuous haze in which he had found himself, blinking to clear the lust from his eyes. He turned within Brian's encircling arms and looked up, asking, "Brian? What the fuck are you saying?"

Knowing he only had this one chance at reclaiming the prize he so desperately wanted, Brian gazed down into the intense blue eyes and emphatically declared, "You. Belong. To. Me. Any questions?"

A soft smile flittered across Justin's face, "Oh, I do, do I? I think you have something you need to say before that happens-don't you?" Justin could feel his heart melting as Brian's face softened.

"I guess so." Brian let go of Justin, stepping back and throwing his hands into the air. "Everyone, I have an announcement to make." As the people around them slowly turned their attention to the little drama taking place in their midst, Brian shot a glance at a rather embarrassed Justin, and thought, 'Okay, Kinney, it's now or never.' Drawing a deep breath into his lungs, he asked, "Justin, can you hear me?" At the blond's grin, he continued, "I FUCKING LOVE YOU, YOU LITTLE SHIT." He suddenly found his arms full of ecstatic young twink, who pulled his head down and captured his lips in a passionate kiss. The two lovers were soon lost in their own little world, unconscious of anything surrounding them.

Ethan just stood there, dumbfounded. The cheering crowd jostled his body about, but he didn't notice. He had lost-Justin belonged to someone else, had chosen Brian fucking Kinney. Biting his lip to keep the tears away, he quietly slipped away from the oblivious couple and left Babylon.

Justin dragged his mouth away from Brian's, breathlessly whispering, "God, I love you, Brian. So fucking much."

Brian tugged his young lover toward the coatroom, collecting their jackets and then led him out the door and onto the street. He turned to the smaller man and said, "Let's go home… partner."

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