"What If"...

Sept. 11th Had Affected the Gang

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Brian lifted himself out the armchair and placed a giggling Gus into Justin’s arms.  He quickly kissed the teen. 

 

“Later”

 

“Later”

 

Lindsay followed him to the door and smiled at the affectionate exchange she had just witnessed.

 

“Wipe that grin off your face,” snapped Brian.  She laughed.

 

“Thanks for letting him spend the days with you.  He’s really nervous about starting PIFA next week.  I know spending time with a fellow artist is boosting his confidence,”  Brian whispered.

 

“It’s my pleasure Brian.  You’re not the only one that needs to be around him after such a close call.  You don’t let the rest of us spend much time with him.  And his hand is getting stronger but it could still be a problem,” she warned.

 

“I know but he is just starting to get over the fear and anxiety. Positive thinking and encouragement are very important right now.”

 

She raised her eyebrow and smiled.

 

“Shut up.  I have a client meeting at ten and a staff meeting at two.  I’ll bring lunch in between.”

 

“Can’t stand to be away from him for even a day?” Lindsay taunted.

 

“Isn’t possible that it’s your company that I enjoy?”

 

“No.”

 

“Gus?”

 

“A one year old for a lunch date when you’re wearing a thousand dollar suit. Right.”

 

Brian laughed as he stood on her porch.  “See you around noon.”

 

Lindsay returned to the living room to find Justin tickling Gus.  They were both laughing.

 

Mel came up beside her and sighed,  “It’s so great to see him getting back to being Justin again.”

Mel and Justin were sharing the paper as Lindsay made breakfast.  Gus was happily moving his pieces of fruit around the highchair tray.  The radio was on in the background and all of a sudden the music stopped.

 

We interrupt our programming for this breaking news story.

 

An airplane has crashed into the North Tower of the World Trade Centre. Impact occured at 8:46am.  Part of the building is in flames. 

 

The three adults in the room looked at each other.  Justin and Lindsay silently made their way to the living room and the television.  Mel pulled Gus and his highchair to the dining room and then joined the others.  

 

“Oh My God,” gasped Lindsay.

 

“Fuck” said Mel.

 

Justin’s breath caught in his throat.  None of them could believe what they were seeing.  

 

Brian sat in his office going over the presentation notes for his morning meeting when he noticed Cynthia standing in front of his desk with a strange look on her face.

 

“What?”

 

“Crash,” she said in a shaky voice.  “Plane.  New York.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“Plane crashed in New York City.”

 

“Right in the city?”

 

“World Trade Centre.”

 

Brian looked at her then reached for the remote to his TV.  They watched as the top floors of the tower were engulfed in flames.  Brian stood up and placed a comforting arm around her shoulders.

 

“Have you tried to call her?”  he asked as he wiped a tear that trailed down her cheek.

 

“No”

 

He turned and grabbed his phone off the desk.  “What’s the number?”

 

“What?” 

Brian was concerned that she may be going into shock.  “Your sister’s number?” he asked, raising  the phone to her sightline.

 

“UH.  555-2241”

 

Brian dialed the number.  “It’s busy.”

 

Cynthia looked at Brian and wiped her face of tears. “Maybe she’s home.  Maybe she wasn’t at work,” she said hopefully.

 

Brian pulled her into a hug.  “I hope so.”

 

For the next ten minutes, Cynthia redialed her sister’s number over and over as Brian watched the news coverage.  His cell phone’s ring startled him.

 

“Hey”

 

“Did you see that?  In New York  Justin asked.

 

“Yeah.  Are you okay?  You sound weird?”

 

“I’m okay.  But those poor people….” He paused as he saw a second plane hit the other tower.

 

“Fuck” gasped Brian . “That’s not an accident.  It’s an attack.”

 

“God,” cried Justin.

 

“Justin listen to me.  I’m going to cancel my meetings and get to the munchers.  I have to drive Cynthia to her mother’s first.  She’s quite shaken. Her sister works there and we can’t get a hold of her.”

 

“Oh No,” said Justin sadly.  “Tell her I’ll pray for her sister.”

 

“I will.  I’ll be there as soon as I can.”

 

Cynthia was crying as she frantically dialed and redialed.  Her eyes never leaving the TV screen for long.  Brian watched her for a minute and then went out to her desk to look for the client’s phone number.

 

“Brian, have you seen it?  I think we should close for the day.  For obvious reasons and also because this could change how we market things in the future,” said Ryder as he walked toward him.

 

“Yeah.  I was thinking the same thing,” answered Brian as he looked through Cynthia’s rollodex.

“What are you doing?”

 

“Looking for a phone number,” mumbled Brian.

 

“Where’s Cynthia?”

 

“Her sister works there,” replied Brian, pointing into his office.

 

Ryder looked in, “Damn, uh… tell her to take as much time as she needs and if there’s anything we can do….”

 

“Yeah, I’m going to take her to her mother’s as soon as I cancel my ten o’clock with Harper.”

 

“Go.  I’ll look after it.  Just take care of her.  Lord knows she’s done her share of taking care of you.”  

 

Brian eased the jeep onto the highway.  The traffic was thick as everyone made their way home to their families.  Cynthia sat in silent turmoil next to him.  Tears streamed down her face.  She clutched her cell phone in her right hand.  She had given up trying to call Jane, hoping to receive a call from her instead.  The quiet of the jeep was interrupted by Brian’s cell.  Cynthia jumped and turned hers on.  “Jane?”  she cried.

 

“Cyn, it’s mine,” said Brian.

 

“Oh.”

 

“What?” Brian said into his phone.

 

“Brian, it’s Michael.  Can you believe it?  Where are you?   Can I…”

 

“Mikey, listen I have my hands full right now,” interrupted Brian.  “I’m heading to Lindsay’s soon.  Justin is already there.  Call her maybe we could all watch together.  I’m taking Cynthia to her mother’s in the burbs.  I won’t be too long.  Bye.”  

 

Brian stood in the entryway and saw the whole gang gathered around the TV.  Justin was the first to see him.  Sensed him was more like it.  He rushed to Brian for a hug.  He was shaken and confused by the way his world had changed yet again.  Brian held him for a few minutes before pulling away.

 

“I’m going to go change out of my work clothes,” he said, holding up a gym bag.

 

“Okay”

 

“How’s Cynthia?” asked Lindsay.

 

“Still no word from Jane.  Cyn and her mother were frantic after the South Tower collapsed.  Jane works in the North so I guess there’s still hope.  I wish there is more I could do for them.”

 

“How awful” said Deb.

 

“Poor Cynthia,” sighed Justin, making his way back to the couch.

 

“I could hear the emergency vehicles on their way to the crash outside of town,”  Brian told the group before he went to change.

 

They sat in horror gathered around the TV and watched the second tower fall.  And then they watched the whole thing over and over again.

 

While Justin was in the bathroom Brian answered the teen’s cell. Jennifer explained that she had to see Justin right away.  He told Jennifer to join them and to bring Molly.  She could play with Gus.  When Justin returned, Brian told him Jennifer was on her way and that she sounded freaked and obviously needed to see her baby boy.

 

 

Mel showed Jennifer and Molly into the living room.  Justin rose and took Molly over to Gus’ playpen so she could play with him.  She loved to play with little babies.  Then he went to his mother and gave her a hug.  He felt the tension in her body.

 

“Justin, can I speak with you privately?” she asked.

 

“Sure,” he replied and led her to the kitchen.

 

From his seat Brian watched mother and son through the two doorways between the living room and the kitchen.  He saw Jennifer begin to talk and Justin gasp.  They talked for another minute and then held each other.  After a moment they straightened and Justin asked his mother something.  Brian couldn’t make out what they were saying but he could tell it wasn’t good.  Both Taylors looked toward Molly.  Justin put a reassuring hand on his mother’s arm. Jennifer took a deep breath and started toward the living room.

 

“Justin?” said Brian as they entered the room.  Justin looked at him sadly.

 

“Molly, honey, can you come over here for a minute?”

 

“Yes Mommy.”

 

Jennifer smiled at her daughter but sadness was obvious in her eyes.  “Molly, do you know where Daddy is?” she began.

 

Molly looked at the television and then hesitantly replied “New York.”

 

Seeing the fear in her little girl’s eyes made Jennifer sick to her stomach.  She didn’t know what to say next.

 

“Do you remember who Teresa is?” asked Justin as he sat next to his sister.

 

“Daddy’s secretary.”

 

“She called Mommy this morning,” continued Justin.

 

“Yeah.”

 

Jennifer lowered herself to a kneeling position in front of her children. “Sweetheart,  Daddy had a meeting at the World Trade Centre this morning.”

 

Several gasps could be heard from the others in the room.  Brian’s eyes remained fixed on his young lover.  How much more can he take he thought to himself.

 

Again Molly looked to the TV. Her eyes filled with tears. “Is Daddy dead?” she asked with a shaky voice.

 

“We don’t know. We are pretty sure he was there.  But he could have gotten out. He could have been running late.  We just don’t know, Mol?”  Justin tried to explain.

 

“He’s dead.  He would have called,” she cried.

 

“The phones aren’t working very well in New York.  Too many people are trying to use them at once. Even if he’s trying to call maybe he can’t get through,” Jennifer offered.

 

“No. He’s dead.  My Daddy is dead,” she yelled as she pushed past her mother and ran out the door.

 

“Molly.”

 

“I’ll go,” said Justin and he followed his sister outside.

 

Jennifer sat down and buried her face in her hands.  Debbie rushed to hug her. Vic sat on the other side and offered his support as well. Brian stood and stared out the window watching Justin and Molly talking on the front lawn.  Lindsay joined him and her heart ached as she watched Molly collapse in tears in her brother’s arms. 

 

“I’ll get started on some lunch,” said Mel.  She needed something to do.

 

“We’ll help,” said Ted pulling Emmett behind him.

 

By the time lunch was ready Justin and Molly had returned to the house.  As they entered the living room, Michael reached for the remote and turned the TV off.

 

“You don’t have to do that.  We want to watch,” said Justin as he sat sideways in an armchair.  Molly climbed into his lap and rested her head on his chest.

 

“Justin, maybe that’s not such a good idea for Molly…” Lindsay started to say.

 

“I want to see it,” Molly cut her off.   Michael clicked the television on.

 

The siblings sat and sadly watched the Towers fall again and again. Justin gently stroked Molly’s hair and she quietly asked him questions.  Their voices were low enough that the others could only make out a word here or there.

 

“See Molly, look at all those people leaving Manhattan.  Your Daddy could be one of them.  They won’t let anyone drive and the buses and subways aren’t running so everyone has to walk,” Emmett offered hopefully, pointing to the screen.

 

“Maybe,” Molly smiled at him.

 

“Justin you have to take your meds,” Brian said. “You should have taken them awhile ago.”

 

“Do you want to help me give Gus a bath?” Lindsay asked Molly.

 

“Okay,” she replied.  She got up but stopped and kissed Justin on the cheek. “Thanks, Jester.”

 

“I love you, Mollusk.”

 

She smiled and followed Lindsay upstairs.

 

Brian handed Justin a plate with a sandwich on it.  “Eat.”

 

“I’m not hungry,” he sighed.

 

“You have to eat before you take your pills.  Eat.”

 

Justin picked at his food until half of it was gone.  He got his backpack and retrieved his pills and joined the ladies in the kitchen.

 

“Poor Kid,” said Ted.

 

“He seems to be holding up okay,”  Michael said.

 

“I don’t know,” stated Brian taking the seat Justin had just left.

When Justin returned Brian pulled him to the chair and arranged him in Molly’s previous position.

 

“How you doing?” Brian asked concerned.

 

“I don’t know what to feel.  He didn’t care when I almost died.  Am I supposed to care now?”

 

“You’re the only one who can answer that question,” Brian responded as he started to rub the blonde’s hair.

 

“Mom and Molly are what’s important.  That is what I have to focus on.  Molly has been through so much, first I leave the family and hardly ever see her.  Then our parents get divorced and I get bashed and now this.”

 

“You’ve been through a lot too,” offered Vic.

 

“I’m okay. She’s only nine.”

 

 

After diner Justin and Brian accompanied Jennifer and Molly to their condo.  Molly had become more and more attached to Justin as the day wore on.  So he decided to tuck her in.  He programmed Brian’s number into her phone and then read her a book like he used to when they still lived together.  He made sure she understood she could call him anytime.

 

Brian and Jennifer sat in the living room.  An uncomfortable silence filled the room.

 

“If there’s anything I can do.  If you need help with arrangements or I don’t know,” Brian voice trailed off.

 

“Thank you Brian.  But you don’t have to.  I know you didn’t like Craig.”

 

“I didn’t like how he treats Justin.  I’m worried about him.  I know that he is feeling more than he is letting on.”

 

“I agree.”

 

“My father was a bastard and never treated me well.  In fact most of the time he was a miserable person.  I know for a fact that he never loved or wanted me.  But I still had mixed emotions when he died.”

“I’m so sorry Brian.”

 

“It’s okay but Justin has years of happy memories.  This is going to hit him sooner or later.  I just hope he’s strong enough.”

“I know you’ll be there for him just as you have for the last few months.”

 

Justin came down the stairs  “she’s asleep.”

 

Jennifer stood and hugged her son.  She then looked in his beautiful eyes.  “Are you alright?” she asked.

 

“Yeah.  What about you?”

 

“It’s weird.  I’m not in love with him anymore and we have done nothing but fight for quite awhile but I never wished him harm.  We did have a good marriage for a few years and I used to love him very much. I hope and pray he will contact us tomorrow.”

 

“That’s pretty much how I feel too.”

 

“Why don’t you stay here tonight,” Brian said.  “I’ll bring you some stuff in the morning.”

 

“I think I’d like to go with you if that’s okay?  Molly has the number.  I programmed it into her phone.  She’ll call if she needs to talk to me.”

 

“Okay, let’s go.”

 

Justin gave his mother another hug and then followed Brian out.

 

 

Brian slid the door to the loft open and Justin walked toward the bedroom.  He was exhausted.  Brian paused at his desk and hit play on the machine.  There were five messages.

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BEEP

 

“Shit! Brian did you see that?” Michael’s voice came through the speaker.

 

Brian headed for the Beam.  What a fucking he day he thought to himself.

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BEEP

“Justin…  Justin are you there?”

 

Both men froze as Craig Taylor’s voice filled the loft.  Justin slowly turned toward the desk. 

 

“Kinney please make sure Justin gets this message.  I’m in the World Trade Centre. I’m sure you know that a plane has crashed into the building.  The other tower has collapsed.  I don’t know if I’m going to get out of here.  I’m in the stairwell making my way down but I’m on the 43rd floor now.  Justin, I don’t want to die with my son thinking that I don’t love him.  I love you very much. After you woke up, your mother and I had an argument and she told me to grow up and start acting like a man.  That you were more of a man than I am.  Justin, she’s right.  You are stronger and braver than I could ever hope to be.

I have started therapy.  I was going to wait until I had worked through a few more issues before I told you.  But I need you to know I’m trying. I hope to understand and accept things but even if I can’t I still love you.  I called the hospital several times a day while you were there.  I asked them not to tell you.  I didn’t want to upset you.  It was someone with similar ideas that hurt you in the first place.  I am very ashamed of my behaviour.  I failed you as a father and you were never anything but the perfect son.  I hope to tell you this in person but if I don’t get the chance please take care of yourself.  I know I don’t have to ask you to take care of Molly and your mother. I know you’ll do that.  Tell them that I love them and I’m sorry for destroying our family.  Shit my battery is going.  I love you.  Kinney, please watch out for my boy… I apologize for what I did to y…”    

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The line filled with static.  Brian looked to Justin.  His heart broke from the look on his lover’s face.  Tears were streaming down both their cheeks as Justin slowly crumpled to the floor.  He was too weak to stand.  Brian went to him and held him as he began to sob.  They sat on the floor for hours while Brian held the sobbing heartbroken  teen.  His wails echoed through the dark loft.

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