“What If…” 

Brian had bought Justin the Flowers

Take 2

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“No thanks,” Brian said as he put the bouquet back into the kiosk and turned to walk away.

The vendor watched him and shrugged his shoulders. He’d been selling flowers at that same spot for 30 years. In that time he’d come to know human nature and he knew this young man had made the wrong decision. He looked a little too longingly at the roses, took just a moment too long to put them back. He was definitely unsure of what to do. The old man knew he had to say something.

“Are you sure? They would make someone very happy.”

Brian stopped before he was able to take his first step. “What did this old man think he was doing? Trying to talk me into buying something? Well, I’m not buying the roses,” he said to himself before turning around. When he again faced the vendor, he couldn’t think of what he wanted to say. The old man stood there with his eyebrows raised and his head cocked to the side.  On anyone else his age, the look would have been ridiculous, but somehow, on him, it seemed perfectly natural.

“I...I...Yes, they probably would,” Brian conceded, once he found his voice.

“Let me wrap them for you. I have some of this silver paper left from Christmas. And blue ribbon. I’ve sort of been saving it for a special occasion. I think this is it. Somebody’s birthday, perhaps? Someone special?”

Brian nodded slightly before he hesitantly reached for the roses again. Once they were in his hand he stared at them, still unsure of what he was doing. Roses and Baby’s breath. For Justin.  What was he doing? While these thoughts were going through his mind, he handed the bouquet to the vendor who quickly, but expertly, wrapped the little bundle. Brian was surprised that the blue ribbon matched Justin’s eyes almost perfectly.

“Here you are, Mr. Kinney. Hope he enjoys them. They’re special. Have a good night.”

“You, too. Thanks,” Brian offered, tilting the roses in the old man’s direction, before he walked down the wet sidewalk, heading for home. And Justin. He was about half a block away when he realized the vendor had called him by name. He stopped to look back at the little stand. It was closed tight and no one was in sight. Brian shook his head. ‘Strange,’ he thought.

It had started raining lightly again by the time Brian reached his building.  The flower petals were covered with a light mist. The droplets of water on the flowers and the silver paper reflected the light from the lamp post on the corner in a kaleidoscope of color. He wished Justin could see them like this. Taking a deep breath, Brian entered the building and climbed the stairs to the fourth floor. His hand grasped the package tighter and tighter with each flight. “What am I doing? What am I doing? What am I doing?” he muttered to himself as he
reached the door to his loft. He hesitated slightly before putting the key into the lock and pulling the heavy door
open. The loft was quiet and dark except for a small light in the kitchen.  When the door slammed shut, a blonde head appeared over the back of the sofa. Brian quickly hid the flowers behind his back.

“You’re home. I must have fallen asleep. What time is it?” Brian wasn’t sure whether Justin was half asleep or still disappointed about his birthday. He hadn’t been his usual chatty self the past few days.

“Almost nine,” Brian answered. “Are you okay? Do you have a headache or something?”

“No, just tired. I left some dinner for you on the stove. You just have to heat it up. I’m going to shower and go to bed. It’s been a long day.”

“Thanks. You already ate?” Brian remained where he was, coat on and flowers hidden. He hadn’t realized til now just how sad Justin was. And he was the cause. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. What had gone so wrong?

“Couple of hours ago,” Justin threw over his shoulder as he climbed the stairs to the bedroom.

Brian didn’t move until he heard the bathroom door close. After taking off his coat, he went into the kitchen and took a crystal vase from the cabinet and ran some water in it. He started to untie the blue ribbon, but stopped. Instead, he carried the water-filled vase and the wrapped flowers into the bedroom and set them on the dresser. He pulled the bed covers down and placed the roses on Justin’s pillow. He wondered if this was too little, to late.

When Justin came out of the bathroom, he was surprised to see the blue lights on in the otherwise dark room. As he looked around for Brian, his eyes caught sight, instead, of the silver wrapped bundle on his pillow. He slowly walked around the foot of the bed, never taking his eyes from the shiny object. He stared for several minutes before reaching for it, afraid it would vanish if he touched it.

Brian watched silently from the bottom of the steps.

Justin picked up the flowers and held them to his nose. He didn’t care that his allergies would probably start acting up. He inhaled the scent of the red roses as a tear slipped from is eye. But he knew he couldn’t blame this tear on his allergies.

Brian climbed the stairs to the bedroom, his bare feet not making a sound on the wooden steps.  Justin knew Brian was behind him even before he heard him whisper his name or felt his hands gently touch his shoulders. Closing his eyes, Justin leaned back, letting himself rest against Brian’s chest.

“Brian,” Justin whispered before being enveloped in strong arms.

“Justin,” Brian whispered again. “I’m just not very good at this kind of stuff. You know, birthdays and such. I may never be, but I do promise that I’ll try. I love you and I don’t ever want you to doubt that, again.”

The tear sparkled on Justin’s cheek, only to be joined by another and another. He couldn’t stop them now, but when Brian looked at him, all he saw was the smile he loved so much. The smile that made it all worthwhile. Maybe it wasn’t too little, too late.

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