“What If…” 

Brian had bought Justin the Flowers

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Brian dropped the bouquet back into the tub of flowers and walked away. He started down the street headed for the loft. He wasn't going to give in. He didn't do romantic bullshit. That was for lesbians and heteros. He wasn't going to change his beliefs for Justin, for anyone, no matter what everyone told him.

He had thought Justin had liked his present. He certainly got off at the time. How come everybody thought they knew better? Maybe Justin had told them things he couldn't bring himself to tell Brian. Justin always seemed all right with their tricks. He had never complained. However, he did ask Brian sometimes, if they could go home, just the two of them. In fact, now that Brian thought about it, he asked that quite frequently. But then he
always gave in and went along with the threesome or foursome. He would have said something if he didn't want to do it, wouldn't he?

"Shit!" Brian thought. Could he have been reading him wrong all this time? More likely he just hadn't paid attention to the signals Justin had been giving. "I am a selfish prick!" he chastised himself. But Justin knew that and he still stayed.

Brian was torn. He had reached the corner and stopped. Should he go back for the flowers? Would this make things right with Justin? Would the kid read too much into the flowers and demand things Brian knew he couldn't give him?

Twenty minutes later Brian opened the door to the loft. Something smelled delicious. He held the bouquet of roses behind his back and willed his heart to stop pounding. He hoped he wasn't making a colossal mistake.

"Hey," he said to Justin who was stirring something on the stove.

"Hey," Justin responded.

"Smells great!" Brian said. "But could you leave it for a minute? I have something for you." He thought he better get this over quickly before he chickened out.

"You do?" Justin asked, turning down the stove and coming out from behind the counter.

Brian held up the flowers. Justin looked baffled, but the smile on his face indicated he was pleased.

"For me?" he asked. "Why?"

"I hope you liked your other birthday present, but I thought you might like something ridiculously romantic to go along with it," Brian said, hoping that didn't sound too idiotic.

"Brian!" Justin gushed. "They're beautiful!" He threw his arms around Brian's neck, almost squashing the flowers between them. He kissed Brian and whispered in his ear, "Thank you, thank you, thank you! I love them."

He released Brian from his grasp and took the flowers to the sink to put them in water. Brian watched him tenderly take each bloom and clip the end under cold water, before he put it in the vase.

"Why are you doing that?" he asked, as he went up to the bedroom to change his clothes.

"It makes them last longer. My mom always did this whenever she got cut flowers."

"Oh," Brian said.

"Didn't your mother do that?"

"I don't ever remember her getting flowers."

Justin continued his task, but he was digesting the fact that Brian's mother never got flowers. How could that be? Surely for her birthday or anniversary or something?

"I take her flowers occasionally now, but she never seems to appreciate them," Brian added as he came down to the counter.

"No wonder," Justin thought, "if her husband never gave them to her all those years." Justin set the vase of flowers up on the counter. "They're beautiful," he said again. "And I do appreciate them."

"Good."

"Brian, what made you do this now?" Justin had to know.

Brian looked like he was choosing his words carefully. "Did you like your other birthday present? And don't lie."

Justin swallowed. "It was okay."

"That means you hated it."

"I didn't hate it."

"But it wasn't what you wanted?"

"No, it wasn't."

"Would you have liked these better?" Brian asked, gesturing towards the flowers.

Justin knew they were on shaky ground here, but he decided to be honest. "Yes," he said simply.

"Shit!" said Brian. "Why didn't you say something?"

"What could I say? The hustler was naked on the bed, and I had thought you weren't going to get me anything. What was I supposed to do, refuse your gift right in front of that guy? I guess I was happy you got me anything at all."

"Justin, you know I'm relationship challenged. You've got to tell me these things."

"You mean we have a relationship?" Justin asked, picking up on the only word that mattered.

Brian groaned. "I guess that's what I mean," he conceded.

"You still can't say it, can you?"

"Will you shut up and show me how much you appreciate your present!"

Justin's sunshine smile radiated across the counter, and the next thing Brian knew he had his arms full of the most delicious bundle. Dinner could wait. For once he had made the right decision.

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