All that Remains
pic coming soon
One afternoon late in April, Carl Horvath sat at the counter in the Liberty Diner. His girlfriend, Debbie Novotny, was bustling around. He read the sports page and realized that he stood out like a sore thumb in a group full of gay men who didnt even spare him a glance. He was man enough to realize it and to realize that wasnt what was bothering him. What was bothering him was Kinney, Brian to be exact. He was young to be dealing with testicular cancer but Carl knew that wasnt all that was bothering him. He ran a finger around his collar, wondering why it suddenly felt so tight.
Hey, honey, Debbie said, finally able to stop to take a breath. It still amazed her shed fallen in love with a cop, a cop whod once been a homophobe. She leaned across the counter for a kiss which Carl returned distractedly. When they parted, she asked, with little of her usual probing, Carl, whats wrong?
He smiled. Deb, did you say that Jack Kinney was Brians father? God, he hoped he was wrong but knew with a cops innate intuition that he wasnt. John Rory Kinney? Ironic that JRK when said fast sounded so much like jerk, he thought.
Yeah, fucking asshole if you ask me, she said. Died a few years back of cancer. Good riddance. Why?
Carl sighed. Damn, hed really been hoping he was wrong. Ill tell you but Ive got to talk to Brian first. Wheres his new office?
Debbie rattled off the address, curiosity piqued. Whats going on? she asked, an edge in her voice.
He pecked her cheek and said, I would ask him to come down to the station but the other cops arent too fond of him. The boys in blue have long memories, you know. And the debacle with the unlamented, former police chief Jim Stockwell wasnt forgotten.
That was an understatement, she thought, watching him exit the diner.
Ten minutes later, hed pulled up to the front entrance of Kinnetik, formerly a gay bath house. He had to admire the kids stones. Bad choice of words, Carl, he thought. He carried two files which hed grabbed when hed run by the police station. It simply hadnt occurred to him in the two years hed known Kinney that he was Jack Kinneys son. Holy fucking hell.
He gathered his resolve and opened the door, not sure quite what he was expecting. He was pleasantly surprised to see the renovations Brian had made. Truly classy. A blonde woman sat at a desk, and Carl said, Is Brian Kinney in?
He only asked for forms sake. Hed seen the pristine Corvette Sting Ray out front. Yes, sir. Do you have an appointment, Mr.--- Her voice was icy professionalism and just a touch of a proprietary air. Jesus, Kinney, he thought. Even straight women worship you. Isnt fair.
Lieutenant Carl Horvath. Pittsburgh PD.
I see. Are you here on official police business? Cynthia asked, curiosity peaked.
No, its personal.
She gestured to a chair and Carl sat, while Cynthia buzzed her boss. Brian didnt make him wait too long.
As Brian emerged from his office, he had to admit his curiosity had been aroused. Carl, to what do I owe the honor?
Cynthia listened, wondering what his connection to the cop was. Ever since Stockwell, Brian had been leery of cops.
Smooth as always. I have some things I need to talk to you about. Mind if we go into your office?
Okay, Brian thought. Somethings definitely up. Hes acting quite cop-like. He glanced at his very curious executive assistant/creative director and said, Hold my calls, Cynthia. Thanks.
Brian led Carl into his office. Carl was suitably impressed. Brian had certainly done well for himself. Want coffee? I can guarantee its better than the swill they call coffee at the station. It should be, he thought, as he insisted on grinding fresh beans.
Sure, black, he said.
Brian returned with his coffee and sat down beside his desk, pressing the DND button so that his private line wouldnt ring either. Okay, whats up?
Carl took a sip of coffee and very nearly sighed. There were days when hed kill for a decent cup of coffee. This wasnt just decent, it was nearly orgasmic. He knew Brian was a busy man and not long on patience so he decided to cut directly to the point. Your dad was John Rory Kinney, right?
Brian nodded, eyes narrowing and tension spiraling through him. He noticed the two files the aging detective had. You came here to talk about my dad? What the fuck does he have to do with anything?
Okay, Ive touched a nerve, he thought. Hed been witness to Kinneys flashfire temper before and knew it was honestly won. You know he had a sheet, right?
Another nod. Carl opened the file and handed it to Brian, whose eyes narrowed even as his nostrils flared. Hed known about most of the domestic disturbance calls but hadnt known about the house calls when Claire was little, not much more than a baby herself. Jack got arrested their wedding night? Bastard. That would almost be comical were it not so sad.
Carl nodded. He watched as Brian continued to read. You were the arresting officer?
Yes. Your old man was drunk as shit. Someone heard a crash in their hotel room and called the cops. Your mom was scared, had a black eye, and a bruise that was starting to purple on her cheekbone.
You know us Irish guys, Carl. We can drink and like our women barefoot and pregnant and obedient. He could practically taste the bitterness but he tamped down. If you have my dads sheet, I guess you have mine, he said. Was that why Carl was here?
Yeah, I do. When you got arrested last fall it couldve been really bad for you. If your young lover hadnt stepped in, Carl reminded himself.
I know, Carl, Brian said, heavily. He didnt need reminding that Justin had gone to bat for him even when they hadnt been together.
For the first time, he could see the insecure little boy Brian had been once. But it was just a flicker then it was gone. Mind if I see it?
Carl handed over the file marked Brian Aidan Kinney. Brian wasnt surprised to see the first offense was a PI at 15. His dad beat the shit out of him for that one, but then hed hit his stride and begun growing. That was one of the last times Jack had laid a hand on him because Brian wouldnt just take it anymore like a good little victim. Instead, hed have fought back and at six-three Brian was taller than his dad and so could take Jack on for the first time.
Then he saw the hustling charge at age 19 and fury pumped through him, hot and fluid. Carl looked at Brian and realized he owed him an explanation. The assorted charges hadnt really surprised him as much as the hustling charge. Somehow he couldnt picture the man sitting in front of him being desperate enough to sell his body for sex. But we each have our own demons, he admitted. Some are just buried deep and others simmer just below the surface. Looking at Brian, Carl knew that the old axiom about still waters running deep was never truer.
Brian looked up from the file, meeting Carls eyes without flinching. Im surprised Stockwell didnt use this against me to impugn my character. He could have when I was deposed. Got a lot of shit on me here, Lieutenant. Why bring it to me now?
It didnt escape Carls notice that Brian had shifted to formal. Hed wondered about that himself. Hed come to the realization that Brians past should remain just that: the past. Better to let sleeping dogs lie than to rouse them, baying and howling. But he owed Brian an honest answer, Cause I remember responding to a domestic disturbance call in 1981 at 1906 Franklin. I remember a terrified ten-year-old boy with bruises who insisted hed fallen down the stairs. My partner and I suspected child abuse but the child wouldnt confirm. And in those days, DCF didnt have as much power as they do now. I also remember a call in 85 when a fourteen-year-old had bruised ribs. Carls voice trembled a bit with emotion. He should have done more. And had a black eye and assorted bruises of his own.
Brian stared at the cop sitting in front of him. He remembered being fourteen. It was the year hed sucked off the coach then was fucked in a stall more narrow than those at Babylon. Hed begun to suspect he preferred dick to pussy but girls were just mysterious enough to intrigue him. It was the year his mom had nearly walked in on him jacking off. Thank God, she hadnt seen the picture he was stroking his dick to. Shed thought it was the picture of Gia Carides in a purloined issue of People. Wasnt your fault. My old man was a son of a bitch, Carl. He hated me, wished Id never been born. I certainly wasnt what he thought he wanted from a son.
Brian handed him both files. Carl looked at him, respect growing. If these were made public, Brian, they could destroy you.
Id deal. The most damaging charge in my file is the hustling charge. I was nineteen and it was a quick easy way to make $200 bucks. Last time I ever let someone fuck me without a condom. He wasnt proud of it. He hadnt even told Michael. He hadnt wanted to see the adoration drain out of Michaels naïve trusting eyes. See the end of the hero worship and adulation.
Scared? Yeah, I was fucking terrified. The guy was a bear who didnt know the meaning of the word gentle.
Carl didnt know what to think. Hed known men who returned from Nam with the same blank expression Brian wore. Dispassionate and detached, without emotion. Cold, as if ice flowed through their veins.
Does your partner know any of this?
He was startled to hear Brian laugh. Justin knows bits and pieces. He knows my dad whaled on me as a kid. He knows nothing about me hustling. He doesnt know that I was busted in a sex club while giving some guy head, that I had jizz on my lips when the cop led me out for indecent behavior or some shit. He looked at Carl. Id like to keep it that way. Find my own way to tell him as I did about Sabrina.
He wont find out from me. Brian, that kid loves you.
I know. And Im fucking lucky I got him back.
And you? How do you feel about him?
I care about him.
It was Carls turn to laugh. Thats a good cops answer. I think you love him too. And somehow that didnt seem wrong to him. Carl would never forget Justin standing up to Claire for Brian, even though they werent together. Even when Justin was with some other guy. That was love, no matter which side of the fence you sowed your oats in.
Brian shrugged. Youd be right, Lieutenant. Love Justin more than I thought possible, he thought. The two of them had come a long way.
You told him?
Not in so many words, but he knows.
Sensing it was a topic that Brian wouldnt expound on, Carl let the subject drop. Hed seen the two of them together. A blind man would know they loved each other.
I appreciate your seeing me on such short notice, Brian. I know how busy you are.
Not a problem, Lieutenant.
As Carl stood to leave, Brian stood also. Thank you for your discretion, Carl.
The older man nodded. Brian wasnt so bad. A little rough under the façade of sophistication but solid. Decent. He turned back and said, Brian, I didnt realize you were Jack Kinneys kid. He remembered Brian standing in his office with a condom full of a dirty cops spunk. Christ on a stick, he thought. No one could say Brian Kinney didnt have balls.
Would it have made a difference?
Probably not. No, Carl admitted, as he and Brian shook hands.
Brian watched him go, sat silently at his desk for ten minutes before he was composed enough to pick up the phone. He dialed a number and was relieved when he didnt get voice mail. You at the loft? Suddenly he was horny as hell and he didnt want to relieve it in the bathroom at the office. Cynthia would just give him grief though knowing his assistant shed probably get wet thinking about it. Straight women gave him grief, he thought. Even after Cynthia had nearly gotten a very rare floor show, his life with Justin still intrigued her.
He grabbed his jacket, told Cynthia he might not be back, and reached the loft in record time. He was hot, hard, and leaking pre-cum. Luckily the freight elevator was at the bottom of the shaft, so he didnt have to wait. When he reached the sixth floor, Brians pants were undone, his shirt unbuttoned to the waist. There were benefits to living on the sixth floor. He slid the loft door open and stepped out of his pants, barely pausing to close the loft door behind him. No need to give anyone a free show. At least not at the moment. It wasnt that they hadnt done it before. He saw Justin almost immediately. His blond was naked, standing with arms locked around one of the metal support columns. Brian fumbled for a condom, his dick already slick enough with pre-cum that he didnt bother with finding lube. He came up behind Justin and purred, You ready for me?
Justin nodded. God, he loved it when Brian got like this. He knew it was going to be hard, dirty, and fast. Still he felt the slight hesitation as Brian positioned the head of his cock at his hole. Already well-lubricated from playing with himself with his fingers while waiting on Brian to get home, Justin said, in a low tone that said nothing but sex, Dont be gentle, Brian. I can take it. He liked it hard and fast, they both did. That wasnt to say that he didnt enjoy a long slow ride on occasion because he did.
Brian slid in, one hand on top of Justins, fingers intertwined, as he braced the other one on Justins hip. Baby, Brian said, as he began to thrust in and out of Justin, waiting as the blond began to buck backward meeting his thrusts.
With each stroke, he drove deeper and deeper. He heard Justin moan slightly, and bent forward to lick the spot behind Justins ear, grazing his neck with his teeth. Later there would be time to sample his blond. He knew Justins dick was hard and leaking. He eased out until the head of his cock was just barely resting inside, then drove back in, dick hitting Justins prostate with deadly accuracy. He felt the tingle at the base of his spine then began to come, seeing colored lights dancing behind his eyelids. He could feel Justin began to come as he pulled on Justins shaft, in unison with his thrusts. Justin came until his balls were empty and Brians hand was coated with his semen. It had startled Brian the first time they had simultaneous orgasms. It had been rare with his tricks and now it only ever happened with Justin. He figured that had to mean something even if he didnt know precisely what it was.
Brian slid out of Justin and Justin inhaled, taking a moment to catch his breath. He tossed the condom away then turned Justin to face him, kissing him roughly, tongues sliding over one another. When they finally broke the kiss, Justin said, foreheads touching, voice husky post-fucking, That was hot.
Brian smirked. He completely agreed. It had been hot. A little faster than he would have liked but much better than jerking himself off. Fucking amazing.
He looked down at Justin, and said, in a wonder-filled voice, Youre hard. Again.
Justin smiled at Brian, glancing down at himself, cock at full attention, dancing in front of him. Yeah, I am. You up for round two?
Thats my boy, Brian thought. But, Christ, one of these days hes gonna wear me out. Mind if we take a shower first?
A shake of a blond head answered Brians question. But it was Justin who said, You want me to jerk off in the shower?
Brian laughed. Silly, silly question. He knelt between Justins legs. He loved fellating Justin. Hed always tasted good but since hed begun subtly altering their diet, he tasted even better. They both did and Brian had tasted his cum enough to know the difference. He put his hands on Justins hips, a subtle cue to the younger man for him to spread his legs a bit further apart. He turned his attention to Justins balls. He took one in his mouth, rolling it slightly in his mouth, then gently, very gently nipped him. Justin yelped and Brian looked up at him, eyes questioning. Baby blue eyes were glazed with lust and arousal so Brian knew it was okay to proceed. He turned his attention to the other ball, giving it the same treatment as his finger found Justins hole, still slick with lube and slightly stretched from the recent fucking. Brian curved his finger as he lapped Justins sac. When his balls glistened, he turned his attention to Justins red and angry dick. Justin bit his lip. How could I have forgotten how good he is at this? He thought then didnt think anymore as the sensations washed over him.
Brian ran the pad of his thumb across the head of Justins dick and was rewarded with another bead of glistening come. Meeting Justins eyes deliberately, he raised his thumb to his mouth and slowly, seductively, and very deliberately licked off the bit of seed. He heard Justin hiss.
Then he took Justin into his mouth, mapping the varying textures of his cock with his tongue, enjoying the satin and steel. He alternated licking and sucking with jacking him off, taking the entire length of Justin into his mouth, letting the head rest against the back of his throat. He couldnt help but remember the first time hed deep-throated Justin. The then-teen had come hard. In the years since, hed learned control. Learned to employ Brians techniques on Brian himself and discovered a few ways of his own to drive Brian wild. It was no joke that Justin was his sexual equal and their brief forays into exhibitionism had led them both to having spectacular sex.
He looked up at the blond whose eyes were closed. His hands were anchored in Brians hair. He let his lover begin to slide out, until just the head of Justins dick rested inside his mouth. He hard-sucked and elicited a moan from Justin even as his tongue attacked the piss slit. He knew Justin was close. Come baby, he thought. Just let go. As if they had a telepathic connection, Justin began to shoot, Brian working his balls. Brian swallowed most of it, throat muscles contracting, but towards the end of the orgasm he let Justin slip free a bit more. Even as he did so, he directed the spurts so that Justin came on his torso, white streams of come spattering his upper body, one such spurt landing high near his heart. Rather accurate aim, he thought though hed never say so aloud. Finally Justin finished, Brians name shouted so loudly he felt sure the people down on the street could hear him. When Justin was so vocal it validated his ego. And he rather liked being marked.
Justins eyes opened and he saw his lovers upper body was painted with his cum. He stood, a little wobbly from the force of his orgasm. It was indescribable what Brian did to him. He met Brians eyes and helped him to his feet, licking the remnants from Brians lips, gently nibbling his lovers bottom lip, liking how Brians eyes went dark. He tilted his head up slightly and Justin licked his throat, then ran his tongue across Brians jaw line up to the sensitive spot behind Brians ear.
He returned his attention to Brians chest, circling one nipple with slow circular strokes before attacking the nub dead-on. He sucked until it stood pebble-rock hard then did the same to the other. Hed often wondered how Brian would look with a bar through his nipple but Brian had said that he preferred Justins. Justin, he barely got the words out before Justins tongue was drawing a wet line down his throat, then the center of his chest, stopping just short of his thatch of chestnut pubic hair. Brian knew he was completely at his partners mercy. The semen on his chest glistened as Justin began to lap it up, like a kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. There was something primal about tasting ones own come, like returning it to the source. When Justin was through, Brians chest glistened and all traces were gone, like theyd never been.
Brian kissed Justin, tongues dueling briefly for dominance before sliding together. It drove him wild to think of tasting Justin on himself or tasting himself on Justin. He broke the kiss, breathing heavily. Wow, was all he could say. He loved the feel of Justins tongue on him.
Justin smirked. Brian returned the look. After all, hed perfected it. You know I like tasting myself on you.
Brian heartily agreed. All that remains. As much as I enjoy fucking you, I also enjoy going down on you. I kind of miss us jerking each other off. I wouldnt mind doing a sixty-nine once in a while. But I dont really miss the orgies or threesomes. I love eating your ass. I love having you come on me. Just a few of my favorite things, he thought, rather doubting that Julie Andrews would like that interpretation of the old song.
Justin raised an eyebrow. It was an interesting way of putting things. Seemed Brian realized it too. He took a moment to pause, choosing his words deliberately, knowing that he broached a dangerous subject. I would like to fuck you raw, come inside you without that barrier. But I wont risk your life. I care too much about you even if we are both negative.
He held out his arms and Justin nestled into him. He loved it when Brian held him. Its my greatest fantasy, Justin admitted. You fucking me bareback. You coming inside my ass without the condom sheathing your dick. I want to feel you come inside me.
Brian looked down at him. Really? It amazed him that someone could trust him that much. Hell, love him that much.
Yeah really. But until then I have all that remains.
Justin smiled as Brian gently kissed him. Maybe someday, he thought, closing his eyes. After all, dreams had been known to come true. Look at me and Brian.
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