Finding Your Own Way Back

Chapter 22

Later that evening, Brian found himself at a bookstore, browsing through the titles of newly released books and wondering just what he was doing. The session with Miranda had gone better than he’d expected despite his outburst and he was willing to try to work things out with Justin. A few aisles over, Ben was looking through the metaphysical books when he saw a familiar head. Recognizing it as Brian, he made his way over to the other man.

“Brian,” Ben started and nearly laughed when he saw the expression on Brian’s face. He looked like the proverbial kid caught stealing cookies out of a cookie jar.

“Ben,” Brian breathed, relief calming his nerves. “What are you doing here?”

“Looking for a Khalil Gibran book. You? This isn’t one of your normal haunts.”

Reminded of Ben’s reaction to his punching Michael out, Brian was understandably reluctant. So he snarked, “I guess you thought the whore of Pittsburgh couldn’t read.”

“I deserve that,” Ben admitted. “And I was so fucking pissed at you for lighting into Michael the way you did.”

“Your partner,” Brian said derisively, “ever tell you why exactly it is that I hit him?”

Slowly Ben shook his head. He’d often wondered why it was that Brian had hit Michael but had never asked his lover. Brian smiled knowingly. Of course, he thought, Michael would never reveal anything that would cast himself in a bad light but is more than willing to make me look like the bad guy in this scenario. Well, fuck that. “”No,” he said, meeting Brian’s eyes. “You want to tell me?”

“Ask your partner,” Brian said, turning to walk away. He’d known this was a bad idea. Why had he listened to Miranda? Then he felt Ben’s hand on his shoulder and whirled back to face him. “What?” he snarled.

“Somehow I don’t think Michael will tell me the truth. He tends to view you through rose-colored glasses. And you don’t bullshit me so I want you to tell me.”

Brian curved his lips and smiled wryly. “So you’ll believe a whore over your lover?”

Understanding just how badly the words had wounded Brian, Ben took a deep breath. “I shouldn’t have called you that. I understand that your actions were because you were hurting and your form of pain management is different from everyone else’s. I have no excuse, Brian. I’m sorry.” He paused, then said, “Please tell me what the fuck he said to you. You’re not usually a violent person.”

“No, I’m not,” Brian said. “Want to grab a cup of coffee? I just need to buy this and then I’m done.”

Ben looked at the book in his hand and then at Brian. “The Artist Way?”

Brian nodded. “And a journal?”

Brian slightly inclined his head, looking rather embarrassed. Ben knew how hard it must be for Brian to be caught out like this. “Don’t ask.”

Understanding that it really was none of his business, Ben’s curiosity was nevertheless piqued. The items truly were unusual purchases for Brian Kinney to make. But he was gradually coming to understand that perhaps he didn’t know Brian as well as he thought. After all, one fuck does not unravel the mysteries of one so tightly wound as Brian Kinney. And he really did care about the other man for it bothered him to see anyone hurting. And Brian had obviously been hurting when he and Justin were apart even if others in their small, select group didn’t recognize it. So he followed Brian up to the counter and watched as Brian plunked down his platinum card and then waited for the sales receipt.

“Starbucks?” Ben asked, after they were in the parking lot.

Brian shook his head and said, “No, I hate that place. There’s a charming little bodega that serves great Cuban coffee. Strong as you want it. I appreciate you not making a big deal out of this.”

“Out of what?” Ben asked, casting an understanding glance in Brian’s direction. “Contrary to what others might think, I understand that you have the right to your own life. And the right to make your own decisions and choices about the people you love and forgive.”

“Mikey told you that I got back together with Justin, huh?”

Ben nodded as he climbed into the Corvette. Waiting until Brian tore out of the parking lot to respond, he studied the other man’s profile. Brian looked different, he mused. Older, though he definitely wouldn’t appreciate the observation. “Yeah,” he said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. The old attraction was still there though neither of them would ever act on it again. And he knew it wasn’t because he was HIV+ but because Brian didn’t poach on his friend’s partners. He wouldn’t ever play that game and Ben respected him for that. Even though it bothered him tremendously that Michael still had such unresolved feelings for the man seated beside him.

Brian pulled into the parking lot of Magdalena’s and Ben noted the parking lot was packed though the restaurant itself was rather nondescript. Not one of Brian’s typical places, he judged. “You eat yet?” Brian asked, once they were seated.

Ben shook his head and said, “No. I was going to fix some stir fry when I got home but I wanted to see if there was anything new at the bookstore first. I’m thinking about starting on a new novel but the creative juices aren’t flowing.”

“Sex life okay?” Brian teased. He could relax his guard around Ben and he was grateful for that.

Ben had the grace to flush and then said, “Yeah, it’s fine. But you don’t want to hear about me and Michael.”

Brian shook his head. “Uh uh. So how are things going between you and Mikey?”

“Other than a pack of hustlers moving in outside because of Stockwell’s new policies, we’re good.”

Not responding to the slight dig about his involvement with the Republican police chief’s campaign, he said, “So I’m not causing any problems between you two?”

Ego much? But Ben didn’t react with hostility. He simply said, “I accept the connection you have with Michael. But he’s in my bed.”

Brian smiled at that. “Yeah, he is. And Justin is in mine. So we should all be happy...” His voice trailed off.

“So why aren’t you happy, Brian?”

“I didn’t know you were a doctor,” he quipped. Then his mood turned serious as he took a swallow of his Dos Equis. “I’m not good at the relationship shit. And Justin has high expectations of me that I always fall short of. I’m good at two things: fucking and advertising. I’m not good at being anyone’s lover or partner.”

Ben took a swallow of his own beer and then picked up a tortilla chip, dipping it in the spicy salsa, before responding. It was always best to handle Brian with care. He saw the fragility in the other man even if the others did not. And he knew how easily Brian could be wounded and knew his natural response was to act like an asshole when he was hurt. “Do you want that? A relationship?”

Brian took his own chip and focused his attention on the menu before responding with increasing trepidation. “Off the record here, right? I mean, I don’t want you going back to Mikey letting him know I’m vulnerable as all shit. I don’t need him in our business, Ben. I’m trying to work through this on my own and the last thing I need is him tossing shit about Justin in my face. I need to know that you won’t fuck me over.”

“You can trust me,” Ben said.

Brian looked down at the chip in his hand and dunked it into the salsa before popping it into his mouth. “Yeah, I guess I can. Where do you want me to start?”

“How about Lindsay and Melanie’s anniversary party? And what exactly it was that Michael said to you.”

Hesitating, Brian picked up his beer and took another sip. “He said that Justin was just using me and that I would’ve been better off if I’d just left him in the parking garage to bleed to death.”

Well, fuck me, Ben thought. Now he could understand Brian’s action and felt doubly guilty for calling him a whore. But at the time, the words had fit Brian’s normal behavior. “So you hit him.”

Brian nodded. “Then I showed up at the Red Cape with a thirty-dollar steak for his eye. I felt guilty. I don’t usually resort to physical violence. Got enough of that as a kid. He made some comment about how I must really love the kid and I walked out of the comic store.”

“Do you?”

“Do I what?”

“Love Justin?”

Brian began to peel the label off the beer bottle, a clear sign of nervousness and anxiety. Then he looked up and met Ben’s eyes. “You know everyone asks me that fucking question. I like fucking him, I like talking to him, I like hanging out with him, and I miss him when he’s not around. But whether that constitutes love I haven’t the faintest idea. After all, I’m the last person in the world to define love with any sort of clarity.”

I never thought I’d feel sorry for Brian fucking Kinney, Ben thought, though he knew he didn’t have the same sort of feelings about Brian as his other friends did. After all, they had shared a bed once upon a time. A memory that still had the ability to make him hard even when he was in love with the man's best friend. “One day you may have to make a choice, Brian. I think you can do the relationship thing but it takes two. It’s not just you. Justin is your first relationship and it’s his second. Don’t you think he’s scared too?”

He was startled to see Brian shake his head and then rest his head on his hands, “No, it’s not my first. But it’s the most real relationship I’ve ever been in. It’s the first one that I really desperately wanted to succeed with every fiber of my being. When he walked in that first day at Vanguard, I was so fucking relieved to see him. It hurt me to see him so happy with someone else. I wanted that for us. Except I didn’t want to put a fucking ring on his finger. I still don't but it hurt me when I saw it."

Ben was still lost at the revelation that this wasn’t Brian’s first relationship. “Not your first relationship?” he queried.

Brian felt himself go pale underneath the tan he paid a small fortune to maintain. “Um,” he began, then realized that Ben was probably one of the few people who would absolutely not buy his bullshit. So he gave up trying to put up the facade of cool indifference that he’d perfected over the years. Hell, he thought. “I hooked up with Lindsay a few times in college,” he said, still trying to save face a bit but knowing that he was failing.

“That’s not what you meant, Brian. So you went through the whole heterosexual experience thing like most young gay men. Well, except for Michael,” he added. “But your few times with Lindsay are not what you meant. You couldn’t have always had these rules in place about how you were only interested in fucking and not relationships, that you thought love was bullshit. A made-up story for hets and lesbians. So stop giving me that bullshit and tell me what caused you to put up all these walls around your heart. There’s more to the story.”

Brian was kind of stunned by the impact of Ben’s words and found himself respecting the professor even more. He’d never really talked to Ben before. It had always been a quick “hi” or is “Mikey there?” but he’d never really taken the time to get to know the man. Even the time in Miami at the White Party had been spent in bed so his mouth was occupied with other more important things. Talking had been the last thing on his mind. “You really want to know?” he asked, fighting the urge to glance at his watch, knowing that he had nearly promised Justin that they’d hook up tonight. But sex wasn’t what he wanted right now.

Ben nodded. “Yeah, you can talk to me. I don’t judge.”

“You might after you hear the story,” Brian said, motioning for the waitress who had studied him with such open admiration. She was okay, he supposed, if you liked pussy. “A pitcher and a couple of tequila shooters for both of us.”

Ben raised his eyebrows and then met Brian’s eyes. Well, this is a first, he thought, me and Brian getting drunk. Who’d have thought? He was willing to let Brian talk, sensing the other man needed the opportunity to vent. Better him than someone in the baths. “I’d kill for a cigarette right now,” Brian said, taking a moment to drain the bottle of beer. “I’m going to piss and then I’ll be back.”

While Brian and Ben were on their own adventure, Justin was faced with an increasingly irate Daphne. She pouted and stormed around the apartment and then whirled back to face him, like a tornado given human form. “Daph, I’m sorry.”

“Ooph,” she squealed.

“It’s not my fault Curtis prefers men to women,” Justin said, instantly aware that was perhaps the worst thing he could have said and not something that would soothe his best friend. “I didn’t turn him.”

In response, Daphne winged a pillow at him. Then picked up one of her bunny slippers and lobbed it at him. He brought his arms up in instinctive response and caught the slipper. Then she seemed to realize what she’d done and looked at him. Then she started giggling nervously which soon metamorphosed into tears.

Justin stared at his best friend in something like shock which then crystallized. Daphne met his eyes and then suddenly realized that it didn't matter. "You and Brian do this sort of thing often?" she asked, knowing that they didn’t. Brian was far too possessive to allow this sort of thing to occur often.

"Um," Justin began, "no. But we haven't been back together that long."

Daphne studied him and then asked, "Just, you happy?"

Justin nodded and beamed at her. "Yeah, it's nice being back together with Brian."

"Just nice?" she asked, a teasing note in her voice.

"Brat."

"Hey, you're the one who cost me my boyfriend."

"And I thought you were blaming Brian."

"You're the one who is here," she reminded him. "So is it just nice?"

Resigned to giving over the details to Daphne, Justin sighed. "No, it's pretty fucking fantastic. He fucked me in the supply room at the office today."

Her eyes grew wide as she took in that little tidbit of knowledge. Wow, she thought. "That sounds amazing. Weren't you worried about getting caught?"

"Nope."

Daphne could believe that. She had a feeling there was little Brian Kinney was ashamed of and getting caught in a compromising position would probably excite his inner exhibitionist. "So was it good?"

"Sex with Brian is never bad," Justin said smugly.

And Daphne could attest to that fact having experienced the man's tongue herself. But she knew that was a one time experience and not likely to ever happen again. It had almost been like a waking dream. "He better not hurt you again," she warned, "or I'll kick his ass."

Behind the teasing Justin could hear the truth and ferocity of her words. "I think we'll get it right this time, Daph."

"So are things different?"

"We're talking more," he said. "And the sex has never been better. That night in the office I thought he'd never let me come, he just kept pounding into me and thrusting faster. And then he finally pushed me over the edge when I was begging him to let me come. I nearly passed out."

Daphne flushed and said, "TMI, Just. TMI."

He grinned knowingly and said, "C'mon, Daph. You know imagining me and Brian together is one of your hottest fantasies."

This was true, she admitted. But it was a dream that would never come to pass. Still she nodded, somewhat embarrassed. "So you think you'll be able to work things out?"

Justin nodded. Yeah, he thought, we'll get it right this time or kill each other trying. Life with Brian was never easy but the rewards far outweighed the penalties. And this time he'd win the lightning round, he vowed. "I think the time apart changed things for both of us, Daph. He's not shutting me out like he used to."

Daphne wasn't sure about that. Brian was an old dog and it was hard teaching them new tricks. And Justin was the new pup. And she'd seen the look in Brian's eyes when he'd been paying attention to Curtis and Justin. She'd felt his flesh physically heat up with jealousy and the need for possession. "So where is he tonight?"

Shrugging, Justin said, "He said he had some stuff to do. Errands. But if I wanted to come over I could."

"You think he's still tricking?"

He sent her an incredulous look which said clearly as if he'd spoken, This is Brian we're talking about. Of course, he's still tricking. But he said only, "Don't know. Didn’t ask him to give me an itinerary."

"Hey, don't get snippy. It was a logical question." Daphne paused, and then continued, "So what are the rules this time around?"

"No rules," Justin bit out around a sudden flash of guilt that started in his stomach and worked its way up. "I'm the one who can't stick to 'em apparently."

"And Brian?"

"He hasn't mentioned it. It's kind of a sore subject considering he's the one who actually stuck to them."

"So no rules. Any guidelines?"

"We're not a game show, Daph. We'll cross that bridge when it comes to it."

"I just hope you don't get impaled," she said, quietly. She looked down at the cross-stitched quilt and missed the expression on his face.

So do I, Justin thought.

Magdalena’s…

Brian returned from the men's room and found Ben studying the room with a pensive expression on his face. "See anything you like, Professor?" Brian quipped.

"No," Ben said. "You?"

Brian scanned the room and found nothing that even remotely seemed attractive to him. "No hot prospects here. It's primarily a place for breeders."

"So how'd you come across this place? It's not one of your typical haunts, Brian. It looks like a place you'd drive out of your way to avoid."

He smiled and said, "I had a couple of clients who flew in from the "Big D" and wanted Mexican food. Pittsburgh isn't exactly known for its fine Mexican cuisine but I had Cynthia do some research and she came up with this place. I was pleasantly surprised." And relieved cause he'd won the client and a $10,000 signing bonus. It had been a very good business meeting and he hadn't had to fuck anyone to get the client.

"So what do you recommend?"

"The cheese enchiladas with chili sauce are good. Or the mushroom and spinach quesadillas. Depends on what you're looking for."

Ben smiled and said, "You and I don't talk much, do we?"

"No," Brian said. "I don't really feel like being a steak tonight, Ben."

Understanding what Brian meant by the seemingly oblique comment, Ben said, "No pressure. I just thought you might tell me what's bothering you about going on with you and Justin."

"Nothing. It's good. But we're playing it slow."

"That your idea or his?"

"Mine."

"Rules?"

Brian glared at him. "Not if I can fucking help it. That's what sank us before. And why are his rules so much more important than mine?"

"Hey, Brian, I wasn't trying to hit an exposed nerve. I always thought those were a bad idea. So why'd you agree to them in the first place?"

Good question. It was a long moment before Brian answered, "Because he was willing to walk out on me and I knew we were in deep shit trouble." He paused and then met Ben's eyes. "How'd you know you were in love with Michael?"

Not expecting to have it turned around on him, Ben smiled wryly. "I knew when he sat with me in the hospital room. I knew that I'd found someone who'd stick by my side and wasn't going to run because I was HIV+."

Brian closed his eyes and found himself deep in thought. Then his eyes popped open and he said, in a low voice, "I knew when I held Justin in that parking lot that somehow I'd fallen in love with him. I didn't realize how much it would hurt me if he left. And then I sat outside in the hospital corridor for three days, waiting for him to wake up. And I knew that if he died I'd have lost some of the purpose in my own life." Those few days had been among the darkest of Brian’s life. He never wanted to go back there again.

"So it's not just sex?"

"No! It's not just about fucking, though granted that's amazing. He can match me."

Somehow Ben didn't doubt that the small blond was Brian's equal in a lot of ways and superior in others. But the love they shared was clear as day. "So why can't you say the words to him, Brian?"

"You know my shrink asked me that question today."

Ben's eyes grew wide as he stared at his dining companion. Before he could respond to that little bombshell, the waitress appeared at Brian's elbow. "Are you ready to order, sir?"

"Taco salad," Brian said. "Ranch dressing on the side."

"I'll have the mushroom and spinach quesadillas."

When the waitress disappeared, Ben poured some more beer into his pilsner glass and stared hard at Brian. "A shrink?"

"If you tell anyone, I'll tell Michael the whole fucking story about the White Party. And just what you and I did together."

Sensing the threat was deadly and not just machismo, Ben nodded. "My lips are sealed. So you've been seeing a shrink?"

Brian nodded. "Yeah, Miranda Jameson. I knew her before I transferred into the public school system. She's my oldest friend aside from Michael."

"So is that why you were buying the journal and the book?"

"Yeah. She thinks it might be a good idea for me to keep a journal. Says it might be cathartic but I don't plan on shooting my load any time soon. At least, not without Justin's fine little ass being involved."

Ben colored. "You aren't going to let me forget what I said about how writing turns me on, are you?"

He shook his head and grinned, saying only, "I should blame you for me pissing on Justin's artwork. But seriously I know that I'm like a pressure cooker. This writing shit down stuff should be good for me, I guess."

"Are you saying that fucking is your only emotional outlet?" That was rather sad, Ben thought. Nobody should have to suffer alone.

"Yeah, it's how I cope with emotions and pain."

"Brian, how did you spend the first couple of nights after the Rage party?"

It was a personal question but Brian didn't hesitate to answer it. "I got drunk and high and hit the baths."

"So did you fuck anyone?"

So that was a stupid question, Ben realized, as soon as the words left his mouth but he waited for Brian's response. Brian's response surprised him. "I ended up letting a stream of guys fuck me," Brian admitted.

Okay, Ben thought, reaching for his glass of beer. Don't ever ask a question you aren't sure of the answer. Ben spoke quietly, "A gang-bang, Brian."

"Not really. They all used condoms but, yeah, I was the receptacle. I was too fucking out of it to make a big deal out of the fact that I'm a top." He remembered waking up with come stains on his chest and face. It hadn't been one of his finer moments.

"You let me fuck you," Ben pointed out. One of the highlights of the fabled White Party. But now wasn't the time to address that. Christ, he thought, why didn't any of us see just how much he was hurting over losing Justin? We all thought that the kid was the one who got the raw deal never recognizing just how much it fucked with Brian's head. And no, not that one.

Brian's mouth twisted as he reached for his own glass. Taking a sip he then picked up one of the shot glasses and downed the Jose Cuervo. "Yeah, I did." Pausing, he then added, "You enjoyed being a bottom boy that weekend, Ben."

"Off the subject, Brian. So was it because you wanted to get fucked or was it that you were in tremendous pain from Justin leaving you."

Brian looked down at his watch and then at Ben. Seems he'd be breaking one of his new promises to Justin. Hopefully the kid would forgive him. Before he answered, their food arrived. Digging into his salad, Brian knew that he wouldn't be able to squirm out of this one. Giving into the inevitable, he said, "Both, I guess. On some level, I wanted to be humiliated like I was that night at Babylon. My self-worth and self-image had just been shat upon, Ben. I didn't feel like I was worth more than being debased. Now I realize that I should have just gone to Babylon, picked some twink out and fucked the shit out of him."

"So you think you're worth more now?" Ben asked, taking a bite of his quesadilla.

"Fuck yeah."

He couldn't help but smile. God, it was good to have Brian back in full form. Never thought I'd be relieved to see that, Ben thought, wryly. "The gang wasn't there for you," he pointed out.

"No," Brian said. "And Deb was leading the charge against me. Always assuming that I'm the one who causes or creates problems between Justin and me. Because dear little Sunshine can do no wrong."

"You're still pissed at him," Ben pointed out.

"A bit, yeah. But we're working things out. And Michael doesn't help matters much when he's constantly pointing out how many times Justin has hurt me or that he's not worth it."

"One of these days you may have to choose."

There was no point in quibbling about what exactly Ben meant by that statement. Brian simply nodded and said, "Enough talking. I'll tell you the story about the other relationship some other time. And, as to the choice, I know."

Ben was left to wonder who Brian would choose and figured that, in the end, Michael would end up being hurt. They finished the remainder of dinner discussing mundane things and Brian ended up dropping Ben off at his bike. "Hey, Brian," Ben began, as the other man started to drive off.

Brian lowered the passenger window and raised an eyebrow. "What?"

"Thanks for dinner. And good luck."

Brian nodded and left Ben to find his own way home.

Meanwhile at Daphne and Justin's apartment…

Justin was curled up in the easy chair with an afghan over his lap and a sketchpad in hand. Daphne had long since disappeared into her room and he could hear the quiet clicking of her fingers as she worked on her laptop. She had some paper due tomorrow, he remembered. So he was lost in his own thoughts when he heard his cell phone begin to ring. His heart sped up and he realized that he was hoping it was Brian.

"Hello."

Brian grinned as he heard Justin's voice. "Hey, you still up?"

"Yeah, working on some sketches. You finish your errands?"

"Yeah, I ended up having dinner with Ben. You still want to get together?"

As if I'd turn him down, Justin thought. "Sure. You want me to meet you at the loft?"

Brian thought about it and then said, "No, why don't I swing by the apartment? We can try out your bed."

"Um," Justin began, then smiled as a devilish idea sprang to his mind. "I'll leave the door unlocked."

"Sunshine, are you up to something?" Brian asked, feeling his cock begin to awaken in his pants. Damn traffic lights, he thought.

"Not up yet," Justin responded, the double entendre intentional and he knew it wouldn't be lost on Brian. "How long?"

"Oh 9 1/2 inches cut," Brian teased.

"Asshole."

"I thought you liked my asshole."

"I do. How long?"

"If I hit greens on the way over, maybe fifteen minutes tops."

"Later."

"Later."

Justin picked up his messenger bag and hurried into his small, cramped bedroom. The computer Brian had bought him took up a good deal of his desk space and he wondered if Brian would mind if he took it back over to the loft. Then he rummaged through a drawer finally finding the black velvet choker that Brian loved so much. Along with a cock ring. Perfect, he thought.

As he was getting ready, Daphne knocked on his door. Shit, he thought, looking around for a robe or something. But there wasn't any way to disguise his erection. "Just a minute," he said. Then he decided, fuck it.

When he opened the door, Daphne's eyes went wide as she took in the sight of her best friend. "Um," she began. Then had to swallow as she realized that she'd never seen Justin quite that large. "You expecting company?" she asked, with a twinkle in her eyes.

"Brian," he said, shortly. He wasn't trying to be rude but she'd caught him in a very awkward position.

"He's coming here?" She was unable to keep her voice from coming out a nervous squeak.

Justin nodded. "You want us to leave?"

This is so fucking unfair, Daphne fumed. Yet another night to enjoy the marvels of plastic pleasure, she thought, bitterly. She knew that nothing would replace the feel of rigid flesh and knew it was the same for Justin. The difference was Justin didn't have to fuck a plastic cock tonight. She shook her head as she met Justin's clear blue eyes. "No," she said, aware of the resigned note in her voice. She was reminded of the words spoken at AA meetings and ran through the litany in her head. "Just keep it down, okay?"

"Or very, very up," Justin said, a huge smile on his face.

"Ooh," she said, turning on her heel as she disappeared once more into her bedroom. Justin looked after her and then heard the knock on the door. He looked back at his room and knew that it was certainly no loft and he found he missed fucking under the orange glow a bit. In the time after he and Ethan split, Justin hadn't brought anyone back to the apartment. It just hadn't felt right and besides he knew he wasn’t going to find what he really wanted in the backroom. Not when what he wanted was Brian.

He walked nonchalantly to the front door and opened it to be faced with a very turned on Brian. Brian was rendered speechless by the sight of Justin. "Sunshine," he said, his voice nearly strangled. "What the fuck are you wearing?"

"Why don't you come in and see?"

Brian waited until Justin had closed the door behind him before pouncing. "I want to fuck you all night long," he breathed against Justin's ear. "I wanted to fuck you when you came in to show me that story board."

"So what are you waiting for?" Justin said, his hands finding Brian's waist. Then he set to work on the belt buckle, pulling it free from the loops of Brian's slacks, as Brian backed him up towards the door of his bedroom. By the time Justin was laying down on the bed, Brian's pants were down around his ankles, his own cock purpley-red and obviously angry.

Brian kicked the door closed and looked down at the delectable morsel laid out for his conquest on the bed. Justin had never looked hotter. As much as Brian wanted to fuck him, he wanted something equally as bad. He lay down on top of Justin and said, "I want you to undress me and then I want you to suck me."

"With pleasure, Mr. Kinney," Justin said, the words a seductive purr that sent a jolt through both of their dicks. "Have I been a bad employee?"

Brian nearly smiled at the words. He knew what his little boy wanted and he was perfectly willing to give it to him but he wanted it to be on Justin's terms. Justin's mouth found his and Brian let him set the pace, as his fingers found the buttons, nearly pulling them free in his haste. As they broke for air, Brian said only, "It's a two-hundred dollar shirt, Sunshine. Don’t send the buttons flying. We've got all night."

Justin smiled at the promise implied in those words. "What do you want me to do, Mr. Kinney?"

With a practiced move, Brian flipped them so that Justin was on top of him. "I want you to lick me from head to toe, Taylor. Paying careful attention to my tits."

"And me, Mr. Kinney?"

"Bad employees don't deserve compensation."

"But, Mr. Kinney---" Justin began, then saw the gleam in Brian's eyes. His lover was powerfully turned on by this game.

Brian's hands drifted between their bodies, the pad of his thumb, brushing against the head of Justin's aching cock. Justin nearly moaned at the sensation, his own eyes going dark. Brian saw the shift and knew he was doing something right. Justin reached over to his night table and opened a drawer, removing a condom and the tube of lube. Brian looked at the contents of the drawer and saw the handcuffs. Hmm, he thought. "Taylor," Brian said, as he reached in and got the handcuffs, enjoying the look Justin threw him. He knew the score. Oh yes, his baby knew the score.

But it wasn't time to play yet, Brian thought. There was still much to do, he thought, as his mind was set whirling in a different direction. Time enough to do what they both wanted, he thought.

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