The Beatles Trilogy

Any Time At All

Notes: This is the first part of a trilogy based on the Improv #3 challenge to write a fic based on the lyrics to a song from the Hard Day's Night album by the Beatles. It's a gapfiller really for ep 308 and takes place after the conversation with Daphne but before Justin goes to work at Vanguard. Gus is maybe a few months older than canon (with Cowlip, it's hard to tell LOL). Justin's POV..

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'Shit! Shit! Shit!' I think.

"Please, Gus," I croon, "It's okay. I'm here. Jus'in is here. It's alright."

But clearly it isn't alright and the poor little tyke keeps right on screaming. I bounce him n my arms and hope I've done the right thing. I could have called the Marriott Convention Centre and tried to contact Lindz or Mel, but I hated to do that. Courtesy of Lindsay's work, the couple are at a big charity fundraiser attended by just about all the leading lights of the Pittsburgh arts community and Lindz has been looking forward to it for weeks. I'm sure there is nothing actually wrong with Gus; he doesn't have a temperature and he isn't sick. He just had a bad dream. He woke up crying and has gradually worked himself up into this almost hysterical state, with me apparently powerless to do anything to calm or console him.

Although I felt weird about doing it, especially considering what I've been up to since my conversation with Daphne, there really was only one other option aside from contacting the girls. Ever since Gus woke up his screams and cries have been punctuated over and over by a heart-rending plea for "Daddy". So, with my heart bouncing uncomfortably between my throat and my knees, I had called Brian. Fortunately, since my tongue somehow got tangled around my tonsils as soon as I heard his voice, I hadn't really had to explain, because Gus's cries had been all too audible even over the phone. Typically terse, Brian's only comment had been, "I'm on my way."

Thankfully, I hear the door bell ring. Gus in my arms, I almost run to open it. Brian barely looks at me, just holds out his arms for his son.

"Hey, Sonnyboy!"

The sound of his voice seems to cut Gus off mid scream. He gives a hiccough and subsides into soft sobs. His little arms wind round his father's neck and he buries his face in Brian's shoulder. I have to turn away to hide the fact that my allergies have suddenly made my eyes all watery. I'm not sure what has set them off - whether it's the sheer beauty of the man and child together, the tenderness in Brian's face, or my almost overwhelming desire to be held as Gus is being held, cradled firmly in Brian's arms.

Brian walks past me into the living room, talking quietly to his son. Gus, now that his Daddy is there to chase away the bad things from the dream, is calming quickly. Brian keeps walking to and fro, his voice a continuing low rumble of consolation. I feel awkward and fairly useless.

"Um … would you like a coffee?" I venture.

Brian glances at me and nods, continuing to murmur to Gus. It's so soft, I'm not completely sure, but it almost sounds like Brian is singing.

Grateful for something that I can do, I go into the kitchen and put on the coffee, waiting until it's ready before taking it into the living room I don't quite know what else to do with myself, and I want to give Brian and Gus some privacy. I love watching them together, I always have, and I don't get much chance these days. But I sense how potentially intrusive my observation might seem. Brian is at his most vulnerable when he's with Gus, his defences at their weakest, and I know that he hates anyone seeing that side of him.

'Especially me,' I sigh miserably to myself. 'Now, anyway. It used to be different, he never used to mind me seeing him that way, but that's all changed now. I don't have the right anymore.'

When I walk back into the living room, I find Brian sitting now on the couch, Gus half lying on his knee, relaxed against his father's chest.

"If you're feeling sorry and sad,

I'd really sympathise,

don't you be sad, just call me tonight."

There is no doubt now that Brian is singing, and as he starts the next line, I hear a tiny voice stumbling along with the lyrics:

"Any time at all, any time at all,

any time at all, all you've gotta do is call,

and I'll be there."

Mesmerised, I sink silently into the nearest chair, still holding the two cups of coffee.

"If the sun has faded away,

I'll try to make it shine.

There is nothing I won't do.

When you need a shoulder to cry on,

I hope it will be mine.

Call me tonight, and I'll come to you."

As he softly sings the last line, Brian looks up and his eyes meet mine. For one long moment, I feel that Brian is singing it for me. Then Brian's voice trails off. He looks down at his son, and I follow his glance and realise that Gus has fallen asleep.

Fighting back my desire to throw myself onto the couch alongside Brian and claim a share of the tenderness and love that shines so warmly at this moment in those amazing hazel eyes, I carefully put down the coffee cups and stand up.

"Should we put him back to bed?'

Brian nods and manages to stand up without waking the sleeping boy. "I'll take him up. He should be okay now. He has these nightmares sometimes. Once he settles down, he usually sleeps the rest of the night with no trouble."

He comes down a few minutes later.

"All tucked in?" I ask, desperately searching for conversation with my mouth dry and my heart once more behaving like a jumping jack.

Brian nods. "Where are the munchers?" he asks, taking his coffee.

"Um, at that big charity do at the Marriott."

"Oh. Right." Brian, taking a long swig of his cooling coffee, also seems strapped for conversation. Not that that's all that unusual with him. He doesn't really go in for small talk.

"Brian, I'm sorry that I called, I just couldn't …" I sigh, feeling downcast. I want … well, I want a lot of things, but right now I mostly want Brian to see me as a man; as someone confident and competent, someone he can rely on to be strong and independent, and instead I can't even look after a toddler for a few hours without calling for help.

"No. Hey. That's fine. A man knows when to ask for help, remember?"

I look up and our eyes meet and hold for a long moment. We both smile a little as we each feel the bond still there between us. In that moment, I'm sure he feels it too.

As I stand there, not quite knowing what to do or say next, Brian, seems also to be struggling with words. He sucks his lips in, in that way he has when he's considering what to say. "Justin, about Gus … even Lindz calls me sometimes when he gets like that."

My eyes widen in surprise. "Really?"

'I bet Mel loves that!', I can't help but think.

"Like I said, Gus has these nightmares sometimes and for some reason me singing him that song is what gets him to relax and forget about them. I sort of started it, I suppose. He was asking one day why I couldn't stay here with him and the munchers and I told him that if he needed me, all he had to do was call me. We were playing with his toy phone, and I started singing him that song, and it just seems to have stuck in his head. So when the monsters attack, that seems to be what he thinks of. They should have warned you."

I draw in a long breath, trying to take in what it means that Brian has shared that with me. He never just comes out with things like that. Never tells anyone anything personal unless they absolutely need to know. 'And sometimes not even then', I think, a little ruefully.

I need some time to think about this. I don't want him to leave, but I don't want to mess things up either, just when I'm finally starting to believe Daph was right about me going for what I want; fighting for who I want. 'Cause if he really wants it too ... "Well, as long as you don't mind. I hope I didn't interrupt anything important."

Brian grins wryly and walks to the door. "Nothing all that important, no."

I follow him to the door and smile at him weakly, not really wanting to go into the implications of that response.

"Thanks, Brian. Thanks for coming so quickly."

Brian looks straight into my eyes and says softly, "Any time, Sunshine. Any time at all."

And just like that I know I'm right and he does want it, does want me. He wants me back, he really does. He just doesn't know it, or doesn't want to admit it, or maybe he simply doesn't know how to make it happen. Or, I realise, most likely he doesn't know that it's what I want, what I need, and he won't, he would never, try to get what he wants at my expense. So it's up to me to convince him that, no matter what his reservations might be, this is what's right for both of us.

With one last rather sad smile, he turns and goes, leaving me looking after him, quivering with hope, and renewed resolve. Well, alright, basically when he leaves I'm a total quivering mess, just wanting to melt into his arms, but …

The application for an internship at Vanguard is already on its way, and now I'm sure that I am doing the right thing. There might be a battle or two ahead of me, but for both our sakes I have to win. It won't be the first time that I've gone head to head with someone that was standing in the way of Brian being happy; and I'm not about to allow the fact that this time it is Brian himself who is the "enemy" to make any difference. I've taken on Kip Thomas, and my father, and Howard Bellweather, and that brat of a nephew. Hell, I'd take on armies if I had to; but I don't have to. All I have to overcome is a beautiful, proud and damaged man who, unless I am very much mistaken, desperately wants me to win. For his sake, I can do anything, win any battle.

I've got my plan of campaign already mapped out, and now I can't wait to put it into action.

Brian isn't going to stand a chance.

The End

Lyrics quoted are from "Anytime At All" by Lennon/McCartney

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