Please Don't Turn Away
Brian's POV
I heard this song on the radio and I cried for hours. Yes, Brian Kinney cried. I just felt so empty. I had to write Justin a letter and attach the lyrics with it. I don't know Justin's address so I gave the letter to Debbie and asked her to deliver it to Justin. First she looked at me a bit questionably but then I think she saw the pain in my eyes and just hugged me. God how I needed that hug. So all I have to do now is wait. Yeah, wait. Wait for what? God I wish I could just touch him.
Justin's POV
I'm staring at the letter. I should open it but I don't know if I can. I know it's from Brian. Debbie didn't have to tell me, I would've recognized Brian's handwriting anyway. I'm so glad Ethan is out of town; he's playing in some fucking fancy concert. He has started to irritate me lately, I don't know why. I should be happy, shouldn't I? But I'm not. There, I said it. I'm fucking miserable. Ethan is everything I ever wanted but still… Fuck Taylor, pull yourself together and open that fucking letter! I get my paperknife and open the letter.
*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"**"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*
Justin,
I know that you're hurt and I guess you don't want to see me or talk to me ever again but please read these lyrics. I heard this song on the radio and all I could think about was you. Justin, I need you beside me. It's so hard living without you. But above all I want you to be happy. So if you're happy with Ethan, I'm going to accept it but it won't be easy. I will be okay. Well not okay but I'll survive.
I want you back in my life 'cause I'm miserable without you. I will wait for you for eternity if that's what it takes 'cause there is no one else for me than you.
I love you
Brian
Please Don't Turn Away
When I see you
I feel the ice melting,
you're my dream.
Those eyes, that mouth
and everything else,
I fall madly in love.
Though I swore otherwise,
I fell for an angel.
I'm confused
with my feelings,
I'm so confused.
I want to be in your arms,
I'm bursting with desire
maybe I'm scared too
you will never hurt me, will you
if I dare to love you.
Please don't turn away
it's good to be with you this way
I need your love.
Please stay with me,
you feel and you see
how I wander alone.
In your eyes I see a whole new world,
the future so dazzling.
Please don't turn away
it's good to be with you this way.
When I kiss you
I'm not afraid of anything,
I'm invincible.
When I hold you in my arms
I have a feeling so sweet
deep down in my heart.
I never believed before
that I could have love like this.
Please don't turn away
it's good to be with you this way
I need your love.
Please stay with me,
you feel and you see
how I wander alone.
In your eyes I see a whole new world,
the future so dazzling.
Please don't turn away
it's good to be with you this way.
Don't turn away.
*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"**"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*
I can't see anything; my vision is blurred with tears. I don't think, I don't wanna think. I just grab most of my stuff and jam them into my duffel bag and head out. I want to get out of this place; there's nothing for me here.
Am I fucking crazy? Here I am, standing in front of Brian's building trying to decide whether I should go in or not. I know he's home; his Jeep is here and I can see light on the windows. I take my key out of my pocket and open the front door and go inside. I take the stairs hoping I could calm myself a little on the way. So not going to happen. Finally I reach the loft door and stop. I take a deep breath and knock. I wait for a moment. Nothing. I'm beginning to wonder maybe he's fucking someone. Fuck. Suddenly he opens the door. I bet he didn't expect to see me. I sure as hell didn't expect to be here an hour ago. But I'm here. We just stare at each other; either one of us knows what to do. I know this is my last chance to get him back. So why can't I move? I know I want him; he's the only man I've ever really loved. I know he wants me back.
We've been staring at each other for hours - well it feels like hours but in reality maybe just a few minutes. I realize he's waiting for me to do something; well it was I who came to HIM. I can feel tears begin to form behind my eyes and I just take a few steps to him and wrap my arms around him hugging him as tightly as I can. I put my head to his chest and I can feel his heart beating fast. His arms are holding my body for dear life and I just let my tears drop freely. I want to say so much but I can't trust my voice right now. After a few minutes I find my voice and say:
"I never wanted to leave."
"I never wanted to let you go."
I don't wanna move but I have to see his eyes so I pull slightly away from him. I see the tears in his hazel eyes but I also see a hint of hope - same hope I'm sure he can see in my eyes too. I give him a tiny smile and pull him into a kiss. The kiss is tender and full of love. I feel the tingle in my heart that I haven't felt since we broke up. No one could make me feel like Brian did. We break the kiss and smile. Then he pulls me closer to him and into a more passionate kiss. We kiss and I've never felt more like home.
*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"**"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*"*
The song "Ethän käänny pois", Finnish words by Sinikka Svärd. I tried my best to translate it into English so blame me if it appears odd. ;)
Return to Twinflower's