Pool of Regrets

Another Beginning

EPILOGUE:

Brian slid open the heavy metal door and immediately smiled, as he smelled the delicious aroma that filled the loft.

"Justin's here," Brian happily thought, and his heart fluttered. It had been doing that even more, as of late. Every time he thought of his man, he just couldn't stop himself from smiling, and felt all warm inside. Yes, he was aware that it was all very lesbianic, but it got to the point where he just didn't care anymore. He was happy, and he'd never really experienced happiness in this way before. He didn't ever want it to stop.

"Hey," Justin called out. Brian could hear some rumbling around in the kitchen.

Sometimes when Justin would get off of work early he would come to the loft and make dinner for him and Brian, which even though he had trouble admitting it, Brian secretly loved it when Justin cooked for him.

Brian walked through the loft, and sat his briefcase on his desk. He then made his way over to the kitchen, where Justin was busily preparing his homemade mashed potatoes. He walked up behind his blond and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Hey, what's all this?" Brian asked, as he kissed Justin's neck. Justin moaned a little and smiled.

"We're celebrating," Justin said. He stopped his task, and then turned around and gave his man a proper hello kiss, which Brian happily obliged to.

"What are we celebrating, exactly?" Brian asked.

"Why don't you go take a quick shower and I'll have everything on the table by the time you come out?" Justin said with a smile. Brian gave his lover a suspicious look, but nodded and headed off to the bathroom.

After his shower, Brian slipped into more comfortable but casual attire before walking back out to the dining area. The loft smelled even more wonderful, and his mouth watered at the site of the large, thick, T-bone steaks that sat on a large plate on the kitchen table. As promised, everything had been laid out, all ready to be served. Along with the mashed potatoes that he had seen Justin preparing when he first walked in, there were also steamed vegetables sitting in a dish, as well, and some dinner rolls.

"Go ahead and have a seat, I'll be right there," Justin called out from the kitchen. Brian sat down at one end of the table, and waited for Justin to join him. He did indeed appear a moment later, carrying a bottle of chilled Sparking Cider in his hand.

"This all looks great," Brian smiled.

"I hope it tastes as good as it smells," Justin said.

"I don't think you've ever made anything that turned out bad," Brian said thoughtfully. Justin smiled at the compliment, and then started filling Brian's plate for him. Next, he poured them both a glass of a Sparkling Cider.

"So, before we eat, are you going to tell me what we're celebrating?" Brian asked.

Justin sat in his own seat at the other end of the table, and then smiled. "Well, I know you probably didn't think I'd remember, but I wanted to acknowledge that today is an important day, for you, especially, but also for us, as a couple. It's been exactly 1 year today, that you've officially been alcohol and drug free. I just wanted to let you know how proud I am of you," Justin said with a smile.

Brian looked at Justin in amazement. It was true, he didn't think that Justin would remember. It was one year ago that he had gotten rid of all the alcohol and drugs in his loft. It was also the same night that he told Justin he loved him for the first time. They had agreed to give their relationship another shot, and then made passionate love the whole night.

Of course there had been a couple of bumps in the road, but they had managed to work through it all. They knew it wouldn't be easy. They both still had a lot of repressed issues that they needed to work through, which was why they started going to couple's therapy. At first, Brian had refused, but Justin had pleaded with him to give it a chance, since obviously they were having difficulty with solving their problems on their own. More than anything, Brian didn't want to lose Justin again, so he agreed. It was the best decision he had ever made. They had actually learned to truly forgive each other and themselves for a lot of their past mistakes. They also learned to communicate a lot better. Soon, Brian started going to therapy sessions on his own, as well, to help cope with his demons from his childhood, which was the root of where all his problems started.

Brian smiled at Justin, as he thought about everything they'd been through in the last year, and how Justin never failed to remind him of how lucky he was to have him. They hadn't spoken about the upcoming 1-year sobriety date at all, so he'd just assumed Justin hadn't been aware of it. He should have known better.

He got up from his seat, walked over to Justin, and leaned down to kiss him soundly. "Thank you," he whispered, once the passionate kiss had ended. A dazed Justin looked back up at him.

"You can thank me in later... in bed," he said with a playful grin.

"Oh, I plan to," Brian smiled, and then went back to his seat.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dinner of course was delicious, and the couple never made it to dessert. Brian made good on his promise to show his gratitude to his beautiful blond lover, as soon as they had finished eating. They made love and fucked, then made love again, until they wore each other out.

As they lay in bed holding each other, all wet and sticky, Justin's mind was reeling.

"Brian?" he whispered.

"Please don't tell me you want to do it again. I may end up being the first man in history to have his dick fall off from a fuckfest overload," Brian smirked.

"No, we wouldn't want that, would we," Justin giggled. He paused for a moment, not sure if he should bring up what he'd been thinking about for a while. "I wanted to ask you something," he said softly.

"Oh no," Brian groaned. "Is this one of those times when you ask me something but there is no right or wrong answer?" Brian sighed.

"I... I wanted to ask you about the 'experience' you had during your coma," Justin said cautiously.

Brian was silent, not sure whether he was ready to really talk about this.

"You've never told me about it. I know you discussed it in therapy - I just was curious as to what happened to make you want to change and turn your life around," Justin told him.

Brian sighed. Did he really want to relive it all again?

"If you're not ready, or if you're uncomfortable telling me right now, it's okay," Justin whispered, and then kissed Brian's lips softly.

"No... it's been a year. I think I can tell you about it now," Brian decided.

"Are you sure?" Justin asked.

Brian nodded. "Yeah." He was silent for a moment, trying to gather his thoughts together before he started. Finally, when he felt ready, he spoke. He felt comforted as Justin lay on his chest and ran his hands up and down his body.

"I woke up in the hospital, and you were there, just like you were a year ago. You were sitting at my bedside. I was confused, and when I saw you I was happy at first, but then I remembered everything that had happened between us, and I got angry and tried to push you away."

"Sounds like a familiar Brian," Justin said softly.

"I mentioned Ethan and you said you didn't know anyone by that name. Things were weird, and nothing made sense. You had no idea why I was upset. It was a little while later that Michael showed up and..." Brian paused. He hated to even think about it.

"And... what?" Justin asked.

"Michael kissed you... you and Michael were a couple," Brian said, wincing at that memory of the kiss the two shared in front of him.

"WHAT?!" Justin said incredulously, and then started laughing.

"It's not funny, I was traumatized," Brian said with a hurt look. Justin tried to get himself together, but the thought of him and Michael together was just so absurd, and he couldn't help it.

"I'm sorry, Brian. I wasn't laughing at you. It's just... well I can't even imagine being with Michael in that way. Talk about a really bad match. Eww," Justin said, shuddering. It was Brian's turn to laugh.

"Exactly my thoughts," he said.

"So who exactly were you to me?" Justin asked.

"Well, apparently, I met you through Michael. Your parents kicked you out, and he met you on Liberty Avenue, and was worried for your safety, so he took you home. I still ended up taking your virginity though, but made it clear to you that I didn't want your boyfriend. You ended up getting together with Michael, and then you and I decided that it would all be water under the bridge and that we'd remain friends," Brian explained.

"Okay... so then what made everything change?" Justin asked.

"Well, I knew things were fucked up, and I was beginning to wonder if I had lost my mind, so I tried to figure out what I needed to do, and that was when it came to me," Brian said.

"What?"

"I thought that maybe I was being given a second chance to make things right in my life. So I stopped drinking and drugging... I even started going to meetings at the GLC," Brian said with a chuckle.

"Now <i>that</i> I'd like to see," Justin said, laughing with him.

"Yeah, I didn't like it very much, but I had to start somewhere. You were pretty impressed, and I have to admit that was one of the reasons I did it. You encouraged me," Brian smiled.

"Well I'm glad I wasn't an asshole or anything," Justin said.

"No, you were definitely not an asshole. You helped me a lot, even when you didn't know it," Brian whispered, and then kissed his Sunshine's hair.

"So then Ben entered the picture. I suspected something was happening between him and Michael. I turned out to be right, and you were devastated," Brian said, sadly. "You really loved him. And even though it hurt that you loved someone else, I hated that you were hurting, so I tried my best to help you any way I could."

"Really? What did you do?" Justin asked curiously.

"I was there for you as a friend. I let you cry on my shoulder, and talk about it. We spent a lot of time together. I even took you out on a date," Brian smirked.

"Wow, was I shocked?" Justin asked.

"Yeah, you kept looking at me as if I had grown two heads and a third eye," Brian laughed.

"Well, could you blame me?" Justin laughed along with Brian, who shook his head no.

"So then we got to playing this game --"

"Game? What kind of game?" Justin asked with intrigue.

"It was a game that you came up with when you were drunk on Strawberry Margaritas," Brian told him.

"What was the game about?"

"Well, you said that despite the fact that I was the 'Stud of Liberty Avenue' that I didn't know how you were in bed. So I told you that I bet I could guess, and that's when you came up with the game. You said you would come up with a list of sexual questions and if I got 4 out of 5 right, then you had to do anything I wanted, and vice versa, if you won."

"So let me guess, you won, and then fucked my brains out?" Justin said with a sly smile.

"Not quite. I ended up getting upset when I answered a question about you and you said it was wrong when I knew for a fact that I was right."

"What was the question?" Justin asked.

"What's your favorite thing to do while having sex," Brian told him.

"Kissing," Justin answered.

"That's what I said, but you insisted that I was wrong, that talking dirty was the answer. We started arguing about it, and you yelled at me, saying that I never took the time to learn to know you - that I didn't want to. That was when I just lost it. I had a breakdown," Brian recalled.

"What happened?" Justin asked.

"I just went off, and then I ended up kissing you. Then suddenly, I just let go. I broke down. I cried, and I told you how sorry I was about everything I had done to hurt you. You had no idea what I was talking about, but you listened to me, and let me get it all out. Then I told you I loved you," Brian said.

"So basically it ended up being a preview of what was to come in your real life," Justin wondered out loud.

"Well, yeah, it ended up being that way, sort of. It was very strange. So anyway, I started to feel weird... Right before I collapsed, I heard you calling me. It wasn't the first time. I could hear you talking to me in my dreams," Brian said.

"What did I say to you in your dreams?" Justin whispered.

"You called my name, you said you loved me, asked me to wake up, said that you needed me... and one time you said that you always knew how you felt about me, and that you were sorry you tried to push me to say it."

"Oh my God. Brian... I did say those things to you," Justin said, look up into his lover's eyes. I would talk to you every day in the hospital. They said it might help you to hear my voice," Justin said, with a tear in his eye.

"I heard you, Sunshine," Brian smiled, and ran his fingers through Justin's silky blond hair. "I heard you."

"So then what happened?" Justin asked.

"Then I woke up," Brian said. "In more ways than one," he added.

"I love you," Justin whispered.

"I love you too," Brian said back, and leaned in to kiss his man. Soon the kiss turned urgent, and they ended up making love once again.

"I didn't think I could do that again," Brian said, out of breath.

"Mmmm, I'm glad you did, though," Justin sighed.

"Justin..."

"Hmm?" Justin asked sleepily.

"I want you to move in," he said.

"What?" Justin asked, now wide awake. Had he just heard right?

"I said, I want you to move in. You practically already live here anyway. I just don't like the idea of you not being with me. I know when we first got back together we said it wasn't a good idea, but I think now, it's the right time. Things between us are good, and the circumstances are completely different this time," Brian pointed out.

"You're serious," Justin said.

"Yes, I am," Brian said looking into Justin's blue eyes.

"God, next thing you know you're going to want to be monogamous," Justin joked.

"Actually..."

"No, way. Don't tell me..."

"I didn't say anything to you before, because I didn't want you to get your hopes up, but I haven't been with anyone else for a few months," Brian admitted.

"Are you kidding?"

"No. There's no one else I want," Brian said honestly.

"Wow... this is really a lot to take in. I am literally speechless," Justin said with a nervous laugh.

"For once," Brian smirked. Justin slapped him lightly on the arm. "Ouch! See, you're not even officially my live-in partner yet, and you're already committing spousal abuse," Brian said accusingly, trying to keep a straight face.

"Ha-ha," Justin said sarcastically.

"So, what do you say. You want to go steady?" Brian asked and then batted his eyelashes.

"You're crazy," Justin laughed.

"But you love me anyway. Answer the question, Sunshine," Brian urged. Justin sighed and then gave Brian a stern look. It didn't look like he was going to go along with this.

"You can help me move my stuff in this weekend," Justin smiled, and then leaned in to kiss the brunet.

"Little shit," Brian muttered, kissing him back.

They cuddled against each other, continuing to kiss and stroke each other's bodies. "Yet, another beginning," Brian whispered happily, as he snuggled in closer with his love.

"One that I can't wait to start," Justin whispered back with a smile, and soon fell asleep in the arms of the man he'd always loved.

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