Pool of Regrets

A Chance To Fix

Brian moaned and tossed and turned in his bed as he slept.

Brian, I love you."

Brian's eyes shot open and he sat up in his bed. Justin's voice haunted him in his sleep. He hadn't stopped dreaming of him since he came back from the hospital. Every night it was the same. This made it even more impossible to accept that things were different. He figured the dreams had to be sign. The only explanation he could come up with was that this was a little game God or some higher power was playing with him. He was miraculously given a second chance to make things right with Justin. If he was going to do that he had to change some things about himself, which he knew wouldn't be easy, but he was willing to try.

He had always prided himself on being the "I'll say anything, do anything, no regrets or apologies" kind of guy. He had been looked upon by most people as an asshole because of this persona, but he was an honest asshole, and he found that that was one of the things that attracted people to him. He didn't play games, and he told it how it was. No bullshit. It was what both Michael and Lindsay had always admired about him. He often wondered how they put up with him for so many years. He knew he often wasn't as compassionate to them as friends should be. Nevertheless, they had never faulted him for it. They just accepted him for who he was. He supposed that was why he had such a soft spot for them.

He should have known that Justin would be different. He wasn't like Michael or Lindsay. Although, in the beginning, he was like a little puppy, following Brian around, finding every excuse in the book to be in the same vicinity. Loyal to fullest, the blond was. He was just a kid then. A wide-eyed, fresh out-of-the-closet twink, who fell in love with him the first night Brian took him home and fucked him.

Things change though, as they often do when you start a relationship with someone. He knew that Justin loved him enough to put up with a lot of his shit - but he also knew that he probably wouldn't put up with it forever. He was more than aware of what Justin wanted, and he refused to give it to him. Why should he have to change who he was for anyone? He told Justin how it would be. He knew who Brian was from day one - he had never misinformed him.

Something that no ever knew though, was that it killed him inside whenever he would see Justin's face fall with disappointment in him. He was waiting for Brian to want him and only him. He was waiting for him to open up to him completely. He was waiting for him to admit his love... But he just couldn't do it. Once you open yourself up like that to someone there's no going back. You're split wide open and vulnerable. After that, they would know exactly what they could do to hurt you again and again if they wanted to. They could throw it in your face. They could try to reshape and mold you into something else. No. It was too much of a risk.

It was only a matter of time that Justin would leave to find what he was looking for somewhere else. Brian knew it would happen eventually. He just didn't know it would end up hurting so bad. Who would have ever figured he would have ended up actually falling hard for the kid? Wait, no... that wasn't right. Justin wasn't a kid anymore. He proved that. He was a man. A man who was ready for a mature relationship. A man who was being rejected by another man who was scared shitless.

So now, here he was in some fucked up alternate world. He felt like he was Ebeneezer Scrooge in A Christmas Carol, except there were no ghostly spirits to guide him along this journey and show him his shoulda/coulda/woulda's. He had to figure all this shit out on his own.

Brian looked at the clock. It was after 6. He hadn't expected to nap for so long. His sleeping had been so rotten lately that he had taken to napping in the afternoons. He got up from his bed and immediately headed to the bathroom to take a shower. He was going to Babylon. He knew a certain blond would most likely be there, and if he wasn't, he'd make sure he would show up.

An hour later, Brian walked into Babylon. As usual all eyes were on him as he walked through the crowded club, and he felt a couple of phone numbers being slipped into his pants pockets, as well as a couple groping hands on his ass. He ignored the advances as he scanned the large room for a familiar blond head. He finally spotted Michael at the bar and headed straight over there.

"Hey, Mikey," Brian said casually as he came up to him. Michael turned to face him and gave him a bright smile.

"Brian! I'm surprised to see you here. How are you feeling?" he asked, giving the taller man a hug.

"Just peachy," Brian answered sarcastically. He got the bartender's attention and ordered a beer.

"Should you be drinking?" Michael asked. Brian's eyes narrowed as he looked back at his best friend.

"I'm not going kill myself with one beer, Michael," Brian said.

"Don't act like you don't know what I mean, Brian. You're not supposed to be doing any drugs or alcohol. You're supposed to be recovering from your addictions," Michael said.

"Just lay off. It's none of your fucking business," Brian hissed. Michael glared at his friend.

"Look asshole, you almost died. Don't expect me to just stand here and not say anything or be concerned. I care about what happens to you, you son of a bitch," Michael shouted.

Brian sighed. He nodded and leaned down to kiss Michael on the lips apologetically.

"I know. I'm just under a lot of stress lately, Mikey. I promise that I won't overdo it, okay?" Brian told him with a smile that Michael couldn't resist. He could never really stay mad at the brunet for too long.

"Just promise me that I won't have to carry you out of here," Michael warned.

"I give you my queer word of honor," Brian said with a smile.

Michael smirked and nodded.

"So where's the boyfriend this evening?" Brian asked casually, even though he winced every time he thought about Michael and Justin being together as a couple.

"He should be here any minute. His shift at the diner ended at 7:00," Michael explained. Just as he was saying that, they saw Justin walking toward them. He looked surprised to see Brian, but smiled at them, nonetheless.

"Hey," Justin said once he reached them.

"Hi, babe," Michael said to him, and kissed him on the lips. "Look who decided to get back into the scene?" Michael said with a smile. Justin nodded.

"Yeah, I can see that. How are you doing, Brian?" Justin asked.

"Much better now," Brian answered, knowing that Justin would get his double meaning. Michael seemed oblivious to it, and just smiled at them.

Justin eyed Brian's beer he was holding and then gave him an accusing look. Brian rolled his eyes at him.

"Don't start. I already assured Michael that I wouldn't overdo it, so please just save it, okay?" Brian said, trying not get too aggravated.

"Fine, do whatever you want. I don't care," Justin said.

"I've got to go to the bathroom you guys. I'll be right back," Michael told them, and headed off into the crowd.

Brian looked back at Justin and smirked.

"You're lying," he said.

"About what?" Justin asked.

"You do care," Brian said.

Justin nodded. "Yeah, you know I do. I'm just not going to sit here and argue with you and tell you what an idiot you're being," Justin said.

"Excuse me?" Brian asked.

"You know exactly what I'm talking about, Brian. How the fuck do you expect to get sober if you're drinking and drugging at Babylon?" He demanded.

"It's just a fucking beer!" Brian shouted.

"Yeah. Just a fucking beer. Then what? Two? Three? A few shots of beam? And maybe a hit of Ecstasy from some tweaked out trick in the back room later?" Justin shot back.

"What the fuck do you know?" Brian glared.

"I'll tell you what I know. I know you. And if you think that one beer isn't going to lead to your usual drug habits, you're fucking lying to yourself. Especially during a time when you're stressed, like now," Justin said, looking straight into Brian's eyes.

Brian was about to tell the blond to fuck off, or protest or something, but then it occurred to him to consider what Justin was saying. Justin did know him. And he was right. Brian hadn't backed off from drugs since leaving the hospital. He'd kept up with his usual 2 to 3 joints a day. He hadn't drank much only because of the medication he had been taking. His prescription had run out now though, and he'd gone right back to the booze.

He sighed and then furrowed his brows at Justin, whose arms were folded across his chest and he was staring at him expectantly.

"You know... I hate it when you're right," Brian said. He then set his beer bottle on the bar, and called the bartender over. "Hey, Dave, can you please throw that out? I'm finished," he told the man.

Dave looked at him like he had grown a second head. Brian always finished his beer. He always finished any alcohol he ordered.

"Okay then... you want a JB?" Dave asked.

"Nope. I just quit," Brian told him, but his eyes never left Justin's.

Dave gave Brian a confused look, and then shook his head and took Brian's unfinished beer and walked away.

"Wow, I'm impressed," Justin said, his face remaining serious.

"You should be," Brian said.

"Well, it would take a lot more to convince me that you're really serious about quitting," Justin said.

"I'm going to give it a shot," Brian told him sincerely. This was something he had never done before. He had never tried to stop drinking. No one had ever cared enough to convince him to stop.

He did it again. Justin always had a way of getting to him. Making him do things he wouldn't ordinarily do. But this time, it was a little different. Justin indeed was his motivator, but Brian himself, genuinely wanted to stop drinking. Not for someone else, but for himself. He wasn't going to get through this strange ordeal if his mind was clouded. This wasn't a time he needed to be numb. His senses had to be alert and his mind clear if his plan was going to work. Maybe if he could change some things, and prove that he could take better care of himself, God, or whoever, would send him back to his real life. Maybe this wasn't all just about Justin. Maybe this was a chance to fix himself. Once he was fixed or at least close to it, he could surely fix the other mistakes in his life.

Brian smiled as he came to this new revelation. He felt so much better and suddenly had the urge to dance.

"What are you smiling for?" Justin asked, amused.

"Maybe I'll tell you, sometime. But now, I feel like dancing. Join me on the dance floor?" Brian asked. Justin smiled back at him.

"Sure," he said, and followed the brunet to the crowded floor where there were lots of half naked queers dancing and grinding against one another to the rhythmic techno beat blaring on the speakers.

As Brian and Justin danced together, it took everything Brian had to resist pulling Justin closer and putting his hands all over him. This was so strange for him. In this world, he and Justin had never been together the way they were in his "real" life. He was used to touching the blond and kissing him all over, sucking on his salty flesh as they swayed on the dance floor, both of them lost in their own world. They would be oblivious to those who stood there and watched them, most of them with hard-ons, some of them seemingly plotting a way to get an invitation to go home with the hot couple for the fuck of their lives.

It was almost like old times, here with Justin on the dance floor, and he longed to run his hands through those grown-out silky blond locks. Justin used to moan when he felt the brunette's hands in his hair, enjoying the soothing ticklish feeling as Brian's fingers moved along his scalp, giving him tingles and shivers that went up and down his spine, and made him hornier then ever. Sometimes they would practically be fucking right there on the dance floor as they devoured each other's mouth and grabbed at the other's body wherever they could. Sometimes they would rush to the back room for relief, but a lot of the time they went back to the loft to finish what they started, in private. It could be hot for them to fuck in a room full of hot and horny queers who were also fucking or just watching, but they sometimes liked to save their most intimate moments for just the two of them.

Brian felt a pang in his chest as he thought about that. Being there with Justin was bringing back all of these feelings again, and it was making him crazy. He started to crave the burning amber liquid that had helped him deal with these feelings in the past. He fought with himself to just leave Justin there to dance alone while he ran to the bar to order a shot of Jim Beam. He literally started sweating at the thought of the strong booze running down his throat, creating that delicious burn that told him he was alive and kicking.

Quitting drinking wasn't going to be as easy as he thought.

"Brian? What's wrong?" Justin asked with a worried expression.

"Nothing," Brian answered, trying to act casual, but his eyes wouldn't stop averting to the direction of the bar. Justin turned around to see what Brian was looking at, and then looked back at the brunet knowingly.

"Brian, I think maybe you should go home," he said.

"Yeah, I think maybe I will. This is probably not the best place to be at the moment," he said, now feeling his mouth salivating.

"Do you want me to go with you?" he asked.

"No. I'm fine," he assured the blond. He saw Michael approach them, and his eyes almost bugged out of their head when he saw who was standing next to his friend.

"Sorry I took so long, guys. When I got out of the bathroom I ran into --"

"Ben!" Brian exclaimed. The three of them stared at Brian.

"Do you two know each other?" Michael asked.

"Uh, Brian and I met at the White Party a couple of years ago," Ben spoke up, and smiled at Brian a little nervously.

"Oh uh, yeah. That's right. The White Party," Brian said. Justin smirked, knowing that Brian and Ben had probably fucked. But it didn't explain Brian's strange behavior towards the man. Michael had a look of surprise and slight frown as he looked at his best friend.

"Michael told me about a Brian, but I had no idea you were the same guy," Ben admitted.

"You were talking to him about me, Mikey?" Brian asked.

"Um, yeah. It was during the time you were still in a coma. I was feeling really down and told him about what had happened to you," Michael admitted.

Brian eyed the two of them, noticing the slight nervous look on their faces. He knew his best friend, and had a feeling that talking about his coma wasn't the only thing that happened between Ben and Michael. Justin, though, was a good judgment in character, and he didn't seem upset by anything, so Brian thought that maybe he could be wrong about that.

Maybe staying off the booze was doing him some good. His mind seemed a lot more clear now, and he stood there thinking to himself. He knew what was wrong with this picture. It was obvious that Michael wasn't meant to be with Justin. He was supposed to be with Ben right now. He had always known Michael to be a very loyal person, and he never cheated on any of this boyfriends. For him to cheat on Justin would be very out of character for Michael, but it could happen if he was with the wrong person.

He looked at Ben carefully, seeing the way he looked at Michael, and knew that the man wanted him. Brian started to think that maybe he wouldn't have to do all the work here, after all. Maybe some things would work out themselves while he was trying to fix himself. He could almost see what was to come of this situation, and he felt a little lighter.

"Well, I'm going to take off," Brian told them.

"But you just got here," Michael frowned.

"Let him go, Michael. He needs to go home. Let's just leave it at that, okay?" Justin said sternly. Michael gave Justin a confused look but dropped it.

"Okay. Well are you going to come with us again soon?" Michael asked.

"Um, I don't think so, Mikey. But we can do something else," Brian said, and kissed him on the mouth, and turned to walk away, but not before giving Justin a little wink and smile.

"Something else? Like what?" Michael called out after him, as Brian walked away. Brian turned around and shrugged and then continued walking away and left the club, thinking about that.

Hell if he knew what they would do. Most of their fun had consisted of getting drunk or high, or hanging out in places where you could choose to get drunk or high, such as Woodies and Babylon. It had been forever since they had actually done something different like go to the movies or bowling. That was something he enjoyed about Justin's company when they were together. He always wanted to do a variety of things, and was always up for doing something new and different. Brian found that he actually enjoyed going to museums and walking through the park. He remembered when they would take Gus with them and would eat hot dogs -- well, they always had to force Brian to eat one.

Sometimes Justin would beg Brian to go with him to the park, claiming it gave him inspiration because it was so beautiful and there were lots of interesting things to sketch. He'd bring his sketchbook and Brian would bring his laptop, and they would spend a couple of hours there doing their own thing, but doing it together. Sometimes they hardly said anything at all to each other while there, but would sneak looks at each other once in a while and smile. He remembered when they would get horny and search for a dark and secluded place in the park to fuck just because they couldn't wait until they got back to the loft. He liked that Justin helped him discover new things about himself. He missed that about him. He missed him.

He frowned when he thought about Justin's excitement about their trip to Vermont. The trip that they ended up not taking - at least not together. Justin had been so excited to go skiing, and stay in a cabin, not to mention fucking his brains out. Brian realized that things could have been so different. He could have made it work. He could have taken Justin with him to Chicago, convinced Mr. Brown to sign with Vanguard, and he and Justin could have left for Vermont from there. He certainly didn't expect to find Justin gone after he returned. He had wanted to share the good news with the blond. He actually had planned to take Justin to Vermont that night as a surprise. When he learned Justin had gone without him, his pride got in the way and he ended up staying in Pittsburgh fucking every hot piece of ass he could get his hands on the whole week Justin was gone. There was no way Brian Kinney was ever going to go after someone.

Yeah, things could have been a lot different. It almost seemed kind of silly to him now. Pride could certainly make people act strangely, and to definitely make some not-so-wise decisions. After thinking about it some more, Brian realized that had he made a simple change, things might have turned out a lot differently. It was around that time that their problems had started brewing. Another mistake of his had been Justin's birthday "gift". He had no idea what he was thinking there. Hiring a hustler that looked like Justin's favorite model seemed like a good idea at the time. Justin never said anything to him about it, but he could tell from the blond's behavior that he was disappointed. Maybe if he had stopped and bought Justin those roses he had wanted to buy for him, it might have taken the sting out of the his foolish "gift", and he would know that Brian really did care about him, and not just about fucking.

He felt his eyes fill up with tears as he drove to his loft. He was indeed finding out that he had regrets.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"I've always known how you felt about me, Brian. I'm so sorry I tried to push you to say it."

Brian opened his eyes and felt a tear fall down his cheek. Once again, Justin had spoken to him in his dreams. He had gotten used to it though, and actually found it very helpful and even comforting. He liked the idea of Justin staying with him in his heart and mind. The Justin in his dreams was the Justin from his "old" life. The "new" Justin didn't have a clue about their life together. It made it so difficult that way.

He had made a decision to tell Justin that he had agreed with his theory that as a result of his head injury he confused his repressed feelings for the blond, with reality. He didn't really believe that, but if he continued to claim that Justin and him had been together in an alternate world, he would just think he was crazy.

He would just try to start with a clean slate. He would work on fixing himself, and at the same time, do what he could to get closer to the blond - only this time, he would do things differently. He would try to do things the right way. That was his only option. For all he knew he was stuck here in this world, so he would make the most of it, and do his best to not fuck up this chance.

Brian looked at the clock. 8:10 a.m. He had stayed up a while thinking about everything the night before. He was able to get more sleep though than the previous nights. He still hadn't gone back to work. He had no idea what was even going on there. He had Ted filling in for him, and whatever things he had to sign, Ted or Cynthia would drop by the loft and have him sign it. He wasn't quite ready to go back to work yet. He had too much on his mind to focus on work. He'd go back when things started to look up for him mentally and emotionally. He had to take care of that first before anything else.

He had a lot on his plate today, and decided to get up. He had a follow-up appointment with Dr. Fritz at 11:00a.m. Then he planned on stopping at the diner for lunch... maybe Justin would be working the day shift. His afternoon was open for a few hours, but he planned to attend an AA/NA meeting that evening. It was recommended by the therapist he had seen shortly after he had woken up from the coma. He hadn't given it a second thought until he decided to actually quit the drugs and alcohol and found out how difficult it was to do it on his own. He decided that maybe going to a meeting would help him. He would at least just sit in and see what it was like and what went on.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

It had been kind of a long day for Justin. He had been working at the diner since 6:00a.m. and it was one of those days where things just didn't want to go right. The cappuccino machine had broken down, and he had a hard time trying to reach someone to come and repair it. The new waiter, Robby had been screwing up orders all day and had broken a few dishes. On top of that, these rowdy group of guys had come in around lunchtime and kept flirting with him and grabbing at his ass every time he walked by.

He looked up to see Brian walk into the diner and smiled, happy to see a friendly and familiar face. Brian smiled back at him, and seated himself in a corner booth. Justin walked over to him immediately.

"Hi."

"Hey, Sunshine. How's it going?" he asked.

Justin rolled his eyes. "Don't ask. I'm about to either shoot someone or jump in front of a bus. It's a toss up right now," Justin said, covering his face with his hands.

"That bad, huh?" Brian laughed at Justin's dramatic sigh and grumble. Justin removed his hands from his face and glared at the brunet.

"Great. Laugh it up. Take pleasure in my pain, asshole," Justin said grumpily, which made Brian laugh harder, which ended up making Justin laugh along with him.

"There you go. The Sunshine has returned," Brian told him. Justin smiled back at him and shook his head. He couldn't figure out the brunet. He had been acting so strangely lately.

"You're something else," Justin told him.

"What time do you get off?" Brian asked, avoiding his comment.

"1:00p.m. Why?" he asked.

"Do you have plans this afternoon?" Brian asked.

"Well, not until 5:00. Did you have something in mind?" he asked.

"I was actually thinking that maybe you'd like to take a walk in the park like we - I mean, I thought maybe you'd like to relax a bit. You could bring your sketchbook," Brian suggested. He was relieved he had caught himself with that little slip up.

Justin looked at Brian strangely.

"A walk in the park?" he asked.

"Yeah, I thought we could go there and talk for a bit," Brian said. He saw the look on the blond's face and frowned. "Is that a no?" he asked.

"No, I didn't say that - it's just that... well, you have to admit we've never done that sort of thing before. It just seems little out there," Justin laughed.

Brian was not amused. He was trying to make some progress with the blond, and he wasn't taking him seriously.

"Look, do you want to go or not?"

"Okay, okay, don't bite my fucking head off. Yes, I'll go. Do you want some lunch first?" he asked.

"No, I was thinking we could pick up a hot dog from one of the vendors," Brian said.

Justin frowned and put his hand on his hip. Brian had to be joking.

"A hot dog," Justin repeated, with an arched brow.

"Yes, a hot dog. Do you have a problem with that?" he asked defensively.

Justin held back what he really wanted to say, which was, 'Who are you, and what have you done with Brian Kinney?' but he had a feeling that Brian wouldn't find that very funny, so instead he just smiled at the other man.

"Not at all. Actually that sounds really good," he answered.

Brian smiled at him. "Great. I'll wait for you to get off in 20 minutes and we can leave," Brian said.

"All right," Justin agreed.

"Hey blondie, we'd like our check," one of the rowdy guys from earlier called out.

"That's not all we want," one of them joked, and then they all laughed and made cat calls.

Brian frowned at them, and then looked at Justin who was shaking his head.

"Fucking assholes. They've been bugging me for the last hour and a half. I'm so glad this day is almost over," he told Brian, and then left to get the check for the rowdy assholes.

Brian watched as Justin brought the check to their table, and started fuming when he saw one of the men reach around to Justin's ass and give it a squeeze.

"Don't fucking touch me, asshole!" Justin yelled. The other men at the table laughed.

"Oh yeah? And what are you going to do about it if I don't stop?" he asked.

"Nothing, because I'm going to be the one to fucking rip off your cock and shove it down your throat until you choke to death, mother fucker!" Brian shouted as he stood in front of Justin protectively. They all stared at him in surprise.

"Oh, uh... hey Brian. I was just joking, you know?" the man said. Brian shook his head. He didn't want to hear it. He gave all the men at the table death glares. If looks could kill, they'd all be dead.

"Shut the fuck up. Apologize to him and then get the fuck out of here," Brian demanded.

"S-sorry, Justin. We were just playing around, really. No hard feelings?" he asked.

Justin shook his head slowly. "Don't let it happen again," he said quietly.

"If you touch him again you'll have me to deal with," Brian warned. They all nodded at him and got up from the booth, but not before leaving the blond a huge tip. As they scurried out the door, Justin stared at Brian.

"Wow, um... thanks," he said.

Brian just nodded, and then kissed his cheek. "I'll meet you at my Jeep," he whispered, and walked out the door.

Justin wondered if Brian Kinney's body was maybe taken over by aliens or something. Everything he did lately was so out of character. Not that he minded. He was interested in what else Brian would do. He was definitely full of surprises lately.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Brian and Justin were having a wonderful time as they sat under a tree and ate their hot dogs and talked. After a while, Justin took out his sketchpad and started doodling some random things in the park. A child on a swing; a bird drinking out of a water fountain; and one of Brian. He was an especially good subject to draw.

Of course this wasn't the first time he had hung out with Brian. They had been friends for years. But they had never done this sort of thing before, and usually when they hung out, Michael was with them. There were times when Brian asked him if he wanted to meet at Woodie's for a game of pool or at Babylon for a couple of drinks and dancing, but this was definitely different. Brian was different. He wasn't sure what was going on, but he was feeling a little flutter in his stomach, and it was making him a little nervous.

"This was a great idea, coming here," Justin smiled, as he worked on Brian's sketch.

"Yeah. I thought you'd like it," Brian said, pleased that Justin was happy.

"You know, Brian, this is dangerously close to what someone might call a date," Justin teased with a laughing smile, knowing that Brian hated the thought of dating.

"I suppose you're right, Sunshine. I don't really care what this is called; I just know that I'm having a good time and I like spending time with you," he told him.

Justin smiled. It seemed practically everything that came out of the other man's mouth continued to surprise him.

"I'm having a good time too," Justin told him honestly. They shared a smile, and then Justin turned his attention back to his sketch.

After a few moments of silence, Brian hesitated, but then finally spoke. "Can I ask you a personal question, Justin?" Brian asked softly.

Justin looked up from his task. "Since when have you ever asked if you could ask about anything personal? Usually you just do it," he laughed.

"I'm being serious," Brian said.

"Well, ask me, and I'll let you know if it's too personal," he told him.

Brian sighed. "Are you really happy with Michael?" he asked.

Justin stared at Brian for a moment, then furrowed his brows. "What are you getting at, Brian?" he asked.

"I just wanted to know."

"He's my boyfriend."

"That doesn't answer my question."

"Why do you want to know?" he asked.

"Because I want to be sure you're happy," Brian said truthfully.

"I love him," Justin said quietly.

Brian looked away and frowned. He suddenly felt sick to his stomach. Hearing Justin say he loved someone else, especially when that someone else was his best friend, made his heart feel like it was shattering into a million pieces.

"But are you happy, Justin?" Brian asked again.

Justin sighed. "We have our problems. I mean, what couple doesn't? We'll work through them though," Justin told him. Brian was surprised he revealed that much.

"What sort of problems?" he asked.

"He's just... well he's been a little distant lately. Whenever I ask him what's going on he says it's nothing, but I know something is wrong," Justin said.

"When did this start happening?" Brian asked.

"I started to notice about a week before you went into the coma, and then when you were in the hospital, it got worse. I thought it was because he was so upset about you, but when you were released from the hospital, he was still the same. I mean, I guess it wasn't as bad, but he was still acting a bit strange," Justin said.

Brian nodded. He had a pretty good guess as to why Michael was behaving that way.

"Do me a favor and don't tell Michael I said anything. He gets upset when I bring it up, and I'm trying to do my part in making things less tense for us," Justin said. He look a bit upset since they had started talking about his relationship with Michael, and Brian felt bad about that. He hadn't meant to put the blond in a bad mood. They were supposed to be having a good time, and they had been until he opened his big mouth.

"All right, I won't tell him you said anything," Brian promised.

That didn't mean he wouldn't talk to Michael about what the fuck was going on, though. If he was cheating on Justin he wanted to kick his ass. Justin had been hurt enough - okay maybe not in this life, but in his other life, and Brian didn't want him to get hurt again. He could tell that he really cared about Michael. Even though it was possible it might work against him, he had to talk to Michael about treating Justin better. If Michael was indeed fucking around with Ben like he suspected, he had to tell him to either stop or end his relationship with Justin. It wasn't fair to either of them.

Brian's thoughts were interrupted by Justin's cell phone ringing.

"Hey, Mike," Justin answered. Brian tried to pretend he wasn't listening, but couldn't help but hang on every word that was spoken.

"What? Again? Michael, we were supposed to meet Mel and Linds for dinner tonight. They said they needed to talk to us about something important," Justin said into the phone with frustration.

Brian's ears perked up. Melanie was going to ask Michael to be the father of her baby. He was surprised they hadn't done it yet. Michael must have been putting it off with all the extra time he was spending doing other things.

"Well, you know what Michael, you seem to care a lot more about that lately than working on your own fucking work. We haven't worked on the comic for weeks. We've got to do it; we need the money. Even with you owning the comic store and me working full time at the diner, we're barely scraping by," Justin pointed out.

Brian sneaked a look at Justin, and immediately recognized the look on his face. It was the face he made when he was extremely disappointed. Brian knew that face all too well.

"All right, then I guess I'll see you when I see you," Justin finally said, and then ended the call. He looked down and exhaled loudly.

"Are you okay?" Brian asked hesitantly.

"Not really. Would you mind taking me home? I've got some things to take care," Justin said quietly.

"Uh, yeah, sure," Brian answered.

They got up and headed for the Jeep. When Brian pulled up to the building that Michael lived in, he put the car in park, and placed his hand on Justin's shoulder.

"If you need anything, give me a call," he offered.

Justin nodded. "Thanks. I had a good time, Bri. We should go out again, some time," he smiled.

"I'd like that," Brian smiled back.

"You know, I had a feeling the real Brian Kinney was in there somewhere. Thanks for proving me right," Justin said, and then got out of the Jeep and walked into the building.

Brian thought about what Justin said, and chuckled. He guessed Justin was right. He hadn't really changed too much. He was still himself, he just didn't hide everything he was thinking. He was known for not holding anything back. Now he was still doing that, but in a way he wasn't before. Yes, things would fall into place.

He briefly looked up through the sunroof of his Jeep at the blue sky and smiled.

"I'll make it right," he whispered, and then drove off toward his loft.