Pool of Regrets

Wake Up Call

Brian groaned. He knew that this had to have been the worst hangover of his life - and he had his share of bad ones. He had the worst taste in his mouth, and for some reason his throat was killing him. Maybe he'd puked his guts out? He couldn't remember.

"Fuck," Brian croaked. His eyes were still closed. For some reason he was having a hard time opening them. He was so fucking tired.

"Oh my God," a voice said. Brian's eyes shot open. He had to open them to see for himself that the voice belonged to the person he hoped it did. His eyes slowly focused in to see Justin's concerned blue ones looking at him. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, but there was tremendous relief on his face.

"Justin?" Brian asked. Justin immediately moved the chair he had been restlessly snoozing in closer to Brian.

"Brian, thank God you're awake! We thought we were going to lose you for a while there. How are you feeling? Can I get you anything?" he asked all at once, his eyes a bit misty, but he smiled at the brunet.

Brian looked at him, confused. He had no idea what was going on.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he asked. He then looked around a bit disoriented, and saw that he was not in his bedroom at the loft, then looked back at Justin. "Where the fuck am I?" he asked.

Justin sighed, and took Brian's hand in his. "Brian, you're in the hospital. You've been here for three weeks, unconscious," Justin explained.

"Three weeks? Why? What happened?"

"You... overdosed. Whatever drugs you took mixed with the alcohol was just too much for your body to handle," Justin told him sadly.

"Shit," Brian frowned.

"It gets better. When you O.D.ed, you dropped backwards onto the hardwood floor and gave yourself a concussion. They said it was possible you would never wake up," he told him, with a small relieved smile. He couldn't believe that Brian was actually awake. Along with everyone else, he had been so worried.

Brian just looked at Justin for a moment, trying to let the information he had just learned soak in. He was a bit distracted though by the man by his side whom he wasn't expecting to see. He hadn't seen Justin in months. Even though he wouldn't admit it, he was happy to see the blond. He suddenly pushed that thought from his mind when he remembered that Justin was the reason all of this had happened in the first place. He felt the bitterness he had for the blond return. He looked down to see Justin's hand over his and shook free from it.

"Why are you here? Aren't you worried about what your boyfriend would have to say about it?" he snapped.

"Why would I be worried about that? Of course he knows I'm here. He expects it," Justin said, not sure if Brian was being serious or not.

"Oh yeah, I'm sure Ian, the happy fiddler would be tickled pink knowing that you're here with me right now," Brian said sarcastically and rolled his eyes.

"Fiddler - Ian? Who is that?" Justin asked.

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"Brian, I don't know anyone named Ian," Justin told him. Brian frowned. Was Justin being a smart ass?

"Okay, his fucking name is Ethan. What difference does it make? You know who I meant," Brian said irritatedly. Justin continued to stare at him, not sure what to say. He decided to just let it go for now.

"Um... all right, I'm going to get a nurse in here, and then call Michael. He's been worried sick about you. We all have been," Justin said.

"Whatever," Brian said and looked away.

Justin gave Brian a worried look before he left the room. He knew that Brian had been through a lot, but the man was definitely not in a good mood. In fact, it seemed that he was particularly upset with him for some unknown reason. He didn't seem happy that the blond was there, and Justin wasn't quite sure what to make of that. He sighed and tried not to take it personally. He'd put up with Brian's moods plenty of times before. The man probably just needed to get some rest and things would be fine. Justin was just grateful that he had come out of the coma.

After notifying the nurses that Brian had woken up, he immediately got out his cell phone and called Michael, who answered on the first ring.

"Hey. Any change?" Michael asked when he answered his cell phone. This was what he asked every day when he wasn't at the hospital with Brian himself.

"He's awake," Justin said, smiling.

"Oh my God. I'm on my way," Michael said, ecstatically. In the three weeks Brian had been in a coma he had refused to give up hope that he would come out of it. He had Power of Attorney over him, and he dreaded having to make the decision of letting him go.

"Wait, Mike. I just need to warn you that he's not really himself right now. He seems very confused," Justin said.

"Well, that's only natural. He's been out of it for a few weeks. I'm sure the drugs and the concussion affected his brain," Michael said. He was already in his car driving to the hospital by this time.

"Yeah, I know. It's just that he..." Justin paused.

"He what?" Michael asked.

"Oh, never mind. I'm sure it was nothing. I'll see you when you get here," Justin said.

"Okay. It should be in about ten minutes."

"All right," Justin said and hung up.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Justin sat in the waiting room while the doctor examined Brian. He tried to keep himself calm as he waited for Michael. He had already called the rest of the family to let them know Brian had woken up, and he expected them all to be showing up soon. He was trying to relax, but he couldn't shake the weird feeling he had about Brian's reaction to him after waking up.

Justin smiled when he saw Michael rushing in through the door and to him.

"How is he?" Michael asked.

"The doctor is looking him over," Justin informed him. Just then, Dr. Fritz, the doctor who had been treating Brian since he was admitted to the emergency room, came out to greet them.

"Michael, Justin," he smiled as he greet them. "He's fine. He's feeling pretty weak and seems a bit agitated, but from what you two have told me about his personality, that probably means that he's not acting out of character," the man said with a smile. Justin and Michael chuckled as they looked at each other.

"Can we see him?" Michael asked.

"Sure, but don't make it too long. He needs his rest," Dr. Fritz said. They both nodded and then entered Brian's hospital room.

Brian looked up to see Michael and Justin walking in.

"Hey there, sleeping beauty," Michael smiled. Brian gave him a weak smile back.

"Hey, Mikey," he said, as his friend leaned in and gave him a peck on the lips. He then looked over and saw Justin looking at him, and he wondered why he was still there. Now that he was awake, and was going to be okay, Justin could go back to his perfect little boyfriend and live in bliss. The thought of that made him frown.

"What's wrong?" Michael asked, seeing the look on Brian's face.

"Why is he still here?" Brian asked him, and then looked at Justin. Michael gave him a confused look.

"What do you mean? Of course he's still here. He cares about you too. You know there's nowhere else he'd be," Michael said.

"Yeah, that's what I thought at one time, but he made it abundantly clear that here --" Brian motioned to himself. "-- is definitely not where he wants to be," Brian finished, and then stared Justin down. The blond could only look back at Brian in shock.

"What the fuck are you talking about? I never said that," Justin said, and then looked at Michael, giving him a confused look that told him that he had no idea what was going on.

"You didn't have to, Sunshine. No words are necessary, remember?" Brian said looking straight into his eyes and glaring.

"Maybe I should leave," Justin said, uneasily.

"Sure, why not? That's what you're good at. Go on," Brian spat and then looked away. Michael frowned and then looked at the blond.

"Justin, you don't have to go. I'm sure this is just a misunderstanding," Michael said.

Brian looked at the interaction between the two men, and frowned. Why was Michael being so nice to Justin? He'd done nothing but talk shit about him since the break-up, and had even said that he hated the blond. Michael had never really liked Justin from the first day he met him, and it had taken him forever to accept that he was a part of Brian's life. He had seemed happy to be rid of the teen after the Rage party. One thing was for sure, though; he didn't seem particularly upset with him now. Brian watched as Justin pulled Michael aside and spoke to him in a low voice.

"It's okay. There's actually a few things that I need to do anyway. I've been here since yesterday. I'm going to go home and take a shower, and then go to the store to work on the inventory. We're a little behind," Justin told him.

"You sure?" Michael asked.

Justin nodded. "Yeah, just call me later."

"Okay," Michael agreed in a soft voice.

Brian looked at them in utter shock, as he watched Michael pull Justin in for a kiss. What the fuck was going on?

"Love you," Michael whispered and gave him an assuring smile.

"You too," Justin whispered and returned a brief smile. He looked back at Brian and sighed sadly. He didn't know what was going on with the brunet, but he would give him time to sort it out.

"I'm glad you're okay, Brian. I hope you feel better soon," he said, and then walked out the door.

Brian just sat there and stared, not knowing what to do or say. As the shock wore off, he started to fume. He had never wanted to strangle Michael so badly in his life. He couldn't believe that his best friend would deceive him like this.

"What the fuck was that?" Brian demanded.

"What?" Michael asked, startled.

"You fucking kissed Justin - Y-you said you loved him!" Brian shouted.

"Brian, what's going on?" Michael said, worry all over his face.

"You tell me! Nothing has fucking made sense since I woke up."

"I know you're probably a little confused right now..." Brian cut Michael off.

"A little confused? Damn right I'm confused. I just saw you kissing my ex-boy - Justin -- whom you've always hated. And I'm just supposed to not say anything?" Brian asked incredulously.

"Wait a minute... were you just about to say ex-boyfriend?" he asked with a frown.

"What? Why are you looking at me like that?"

"What's this really about, Brian? What's your problem with Justin? Did something happen between you two?" he asked, wondering if maybe the two men had gotten into a disagreement or something before Brian's accident.

Brian wanted to scream in frustration. Why was everyone looking at him like he had lost his mind? The truth was, THEY were the ones who were crazy.

"Mikey, please tell me that you're joking with me. Please, just for my sanity, tell me that you are having a little fun. That would make me feel a whole lot better. It would be fucked up, but at least I would know that we were on the same page," Brian told him.

"Brian, I'm sorry. I have no idea what you're talking about. I think I should call the doctor back in here..."

"No! No doctors. Michael, you're my best friend in the whole world, you know that, right?" he asked. Michael looked at him and nodded slowly.

"Yes, and you're mine," he answered.

"Please help me understand what is going on with you and Justin," Brian pleaded. He felt himself getting emotional now, and even though that was the last thing he wanted to do, he couldn't help it. This was all just so much for him to take. He felt like he was losing his mind.

"Brian, you're serious, aren't you?" Michael asked looking at him carefully.

"Yes, Mikey. Dead serious," he said, staring back at him.

Michael figured that maybe Brian had experienced some kind of memory loss. That was the only explanation he could come up with - although, it still didn't make sense that Brian was referring to Justin as his ex-boyfriend. He decided to just go along with it.

"Okay... Justin and I... he's been my partner for two years now. I met him outside of Babylon the night Gus was born, do you remember that?" he asked. Brian closed his eyes.

"You met him outside of Babylon?" he asked quietly.

"Yeah. You don't remember?" Michael asked. Brian swallowed hard.

"No, please indulge me," he said.

"It was his first time on Liberty Avenue and I picked him up because I was afraid some asshole would take advantage of him. He started hanging around after that. His parents kicked him out when they found out he was gay, and so he stayed with Emmett and I for a while, and then moved into Ma's house since he could have his own room over there. Eventually he and I started dating, and we've been together ever since," Michael said, summing it up.

Brian looked at Michael and started laughing. Michael continued to give him a concerned look. He had no idea what could possibly be so funny.

"Brian..." Michael started but Brian wasn't listening to him.

"I've figured it out. This is a nightmare. I'm going to wake up any minute now," Brian said out loud as he shook his head in disbelief. He was so torn. If he was dreaming, that meant that when he woke up, he would be sad and lonely and still be without Justin. He would have to continue living knowing that it was all his fault he lost his one and only love of his life and fucked everything up. If he wasn't dreaming, that meant he was fucking crazy and he'd concocted his whole relationship with Justin in his head, and he had to put up with Michael and Justin being together as a couple. Neither were good.

"Brian, are you okay?" Michael asked.

"Why didn't I just fucking die?" Brian asked out loud, more to himself.

Michael frowned. "Don't say that, Brian. We're going to get you some help," he assured him.

Brian smirked. "No one can help me now, Mikey. I'm all alone. No matter what, I'm all alone, just as I've always been," Brian said, and then leaned his head back on his pillow and faced away from his best friend.

Michael was just silent and took his hand in his, and allowed himself to shed some tears. He'd never seen Brian this way before -- so broken, and it scared him. He wished he knew how to help him.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One week, and what seemed like a million tests later, Dr. Fritz finally gave Brian a clean bill of health, and discharged him from the hospital, for which Brian was truly grateful. Everything was such a mess, and he just wanted to get away from everything and everyone and be alone. A couple of days after he had woken up, he told the nurses he wouldn't see any more visitors. His mental health seemed to be everyone's main concern, and he cringed every time he saw the look of pity in the eyes of all of his so-called friends.

Brian still couldn't figure out what was up with this obviously fucked up life warp. He was still convinced that this whole situation was some kind of a nightmare - or maybe, just maybe he was in Hell? That could be it. Maybe God was punishing him for being an asshole for so many years, and for taking everything and everyone for granted.

He knew exactly what he lost when Justin walked out of Babylon that night. It really hit him hard though when he got back to the loft. He knew that Justin wouldn't be there. He knew that he would be in his bed alone. Why, oh why, did he have to push Justin away? Why did he feel the need to stand his ground and not say to Justin what he already knew was true? He did love Justin. But it was more than that. Saying it wouldn't change who he was, or how they were. Saying it wouldn't mean that he wanted to get married and live his life like some straight married couple. Somehow, he felt that Justin would see it that way, and the last thing he wanted was for their relationship to turn into some happy hetero, wannabe, farce.

Brian lay on his bed in the dark, with the exception of the haunting blue lights above his bed. He was puffing on a joint and staring at the ceiling, just thinking about everything. His "new" life was a bit of a mystery to him as of the late. He figured out that he no longer worked for Vanguard. Apparently, he had been fired by the Ryder agency after a sexual harassment lawsuit involving Kip Thomas. For some unknown reason Kip had suddenly dropped the lawsuit against him, before. Brian wondered why things had changed.

Brian now apparently had his own company, called Kinnetic. At least he had still done well for himself, career-wise. Obviously he still had a good sum of money coming in. He looked around to see some new state of the art equipment in his loft - well, at least it was new to him. Who knew how long it had all been there. He had a Bose home theater system, complete with a 62" wide screen TV. He also noticed that there were several new pieces of expensive art hanging up in his loft as well. He still had his jeep, but apparently he had felt the need to indulge and had purchased a new Jag.

Brian frowned as he heard someone knocking on his door. On more than a few occasions he had wanted to kick himself for giving Michael a key to the security gate and his loft. If someone rang him from downstairs he could just ignore it, but it was practically impossible not to mention aggravating to put up with excessive pounding on his heavy metal loft door.

"Go the fuck away, Michael!" Brian called out.

"It's not Michael, Brian," a voice answered.

Brian sat upright in his bed immediately. Justin. He wasn't sure what to do. A part of him wanted to see the blond again. And by the way his cock was twitching, that wasn't the only thing he wanted to do. He sighed and stubbed out his joint, having decided to get up and open the door. When he slid the door open, he saw Justin's back to him, making his way back down the stairs.

"Justin," Brian said. The blond immediately turned around and came back up the stairs and looked at Brian.

"I didn't think you were going to open the door," he told him.

"I wasn't going to. I just wanted the annoying knocking to stop," Brian told him coldly.

"Still being an asshole, I see," Justin said dryly.

"What do you want? I'm trying to get stoned in peace," Brian said.

"I won't stay long, I just needed to talk to you," Justin said.

"There's nothing to talk about," Brian told him.

"I need to know what's going on with you. I'm really worried. They said you weren't seeing any visitors. We didn't even know that you were released. Michael had gone down to the hospital to demand to see you but they said you had been discharged. He's left you at least a dozen messages. Why haven't you called him back?" Justin asked.

Brian shrugged. "Because I didn't want to," he simply answered.

"Did he or I do something to piss you off?" Justin asked.

Brian laughed at that, and then pinched the bridge of his nose. Should he really answer that? He thought. He decided to remain quiet as he thought of what he could say to make Justin leave.

"Michael told me about your conversation. He said that you didn't remember anything about him and I being a couple. He said you called me your ex-boyfriend..."

"It doesn't fucking matter. Everyone thinks I'm crazy - hell, I'm starting to think I'm crazy too," Brian smirked bitterly.

"Well, I've been thinking about it, and I think I have a good theory on it," Justin said. Brian looked at him and smirked. Justin was always one to try to figure things out. He was always so damn smart.

"Fine. You have five minutes," Brian told him, and stepped aside so Justin could enter his home. Once Justin had taken a seat on the sofa, Brian sat on the opposite side. He wanted to get this over with so he could be left alone.

"Okay, let's hear this so-called theory," Brian said, sounding uninterested, when he really was very curious as to what Justin thought.

"All right. Well, I think that maybe because of that one night - you know..." Justin paused and looked at him nervously. Brian frowned and then let out an exasperated sigh. He was losing his patience with him.

"Uh, no, Justin. I actually don't know. See, apparently, I have sustained a head injury and have amnesia," Brian said, rolling his eyes. He was so aggravated that 99% of the time he had no idea what was going on in this different and mysterious life of his. It was like it was happening to someone else. Like he was on the outside looking in.

"Shit, Brian. You don't have to be a fucking prick," Justin frowned.

"Will you just fucking telling me already? Your time is running out," Brian said, frustrated.

"God. This is hard since you don't remember anything. Okay. You and I were together once. Before Michael and I got together. You were my first..." Justin said quietly, and tensed a little.

"Well, at least something stayed the same," Brian said out loud. Justin gave him a strange look and Brian just shook his head at him. "Forget it. Go on," he urged.

"You said that you didn't want me. You didn't do boyfriends, love, relationships - you know, the usual speech," Justin recalled.

"Yeah, sounds about right," Brian said.

"I was devastated, but there was nothing I could do but accept it and move on. So then I left you alone. Then not too much later, Michael started becoming interested in me. After Michael and I started dating you acted a little odd. Like jealous." Brian rolled his eyes.

"Oh, please. I don't --"

"Do jealousy?" Justin finished. "Yeah, saying it is one thing, but actions speak louder than words, Brian," Justin said, looking directly at the man with a knowing look.

"Will you just fucking get to your theory already?" Brian said, annoyed.

"Well, I was just thinking that maybe your head injury might have brought some of your repressed feelings for me to the surface, making you think that things had been different, that they were real."

"God!" Brian grunted with frustration. He felt insane, but he just had to say it. "Damn it, Justin. It was real. It was all real."

"What was, Brian? Tell me," Justin said.

"We were together. You... loved me." Justin was stunned by his words, and looked at Brian, not knowing what to say.

"Brian," Justin started, but the man cut him off.

"Okay let's say that what you're telling me is true. Did you ever tell Mikey about us?" Brian asked. Justin shook his head.

"No, you and I decided that it was best if we didn't tell him. We agreed to just keep it all in the past, and we became friends. We've been good friends, Brian." Brian closed his eyes. This was all so confusing. He couldn't have been making it all up. He was having all of these feelings just being close to Justin at that moment.

"I don't think I can accept that it wasn't real," Brian admitted.

"You have to, Brian."

"No. What you and I had isn't something I could ever forget. I wouldn't ever want to forget it, Justin, no matter how much I was hurt in the end," Brian told him honestly.

"If you don't accept that it wasn't real, you can't get better."

"It was real. You want to know how I know I'm right?" Brian asked.

"Please," Justin smiled with intrigue.

"Because I still feel that pang in my chest when I look at you," Brian confessed. Justin stared at him, not knowing what to say.

"Brian, please..." Justin pleaded.

"What's wrong, Sunshine? Having trouble admitting you feel something for me? I know that you feel it. You love me," Brian told him. Justin shook his head.

"Just stop it!" Justin yelled.

Brian sighed. He wasn't sure what to do. He felt so lost. If only he could talk to his best friend about all of this. But, because the situation was all completely fucked up, he couldn't talk to Michael. He started to question what was real and what wasn't. Then something else occurred to him. Did the fiddler even exist?

"Justin can I just ask you one question, and then I'll let this go for tonight," Brian said softly. Justin sighed and then nodded.

"Sure, anything," he answered.

"Just tell me if you know a guy named Ethan," Brian said.

"I already told you I don't know anyone by that name," Justin said.

"Ethan Gold. Short guy with dark, longish greasy hair; plays the violin. He goes to PIFA..." Justin's face suddenly showed recognition, and then he frowned.

"Wait... Ethan Gold? How do you know him?" Justin asked.

"So you <i>do</i> know him!" Brian said, feeling a glimpse of hope. Maybe he wasn't crazy after all.

"Yes, I know Ethan. Lindsay and Mel gave me tickets to his concert once. We've spoken on occasion. He was interested in me when we first met, but I told him I was in a serious relationship," Justin said softly.

"And let me guess -- he continued to pursue you?" Brian asked. Justin looked at Brian carefully, and swallowed hard.

"Yeah, he did at first," Justin admitted.

"Fucking prick," Brian mumbled.

"Brian how did you know about that? I never told you or Michael about it," Justin said.

"Because I'm telling you the truth," Brian told him. Justin shook his head and laughed nervously.

"Brian, this is crazy. You're obviously very confused about a lot of things. There has to be a reasonable explanation for all of this," Justin said.

"I agree with you on one thing, Sunshine. This situation is crazy - but I'm not. I know what I'm talking about, and I'll continue to find ways to prove to you that I'm telling the truth," Brian told him.

"Why do you keep calling me Sunshine? Only Debbie calls me that," Justin said.

"I've been calling you that since you came to live with me... after the bashing," Brian told him. Justin's brows furrowed.

"What bashing?" he asked.

"Chris Hobbs... he hit you in the head with a baseball bat..." Brian cringed, as he thought of that night. He still had nightmares with Justin laying on the cement covered in his own blood.

"No, Brian. You're confusing me with Jason Kemp. Chris Hobbs apparently had some sort of obsessed crush on him, and just lost it when he saw Jason with his boyfriend at the prom," Justin told him.

Brian shook his head in disbelief.

"No, Justin. I saw him. I saw it all. He came after you with the bat in the parking garage," Brian told Justin.

"No, you didn't. I didn't even go to the prom, Brian. I ended up going to Babylon with you and Michael instead. I hated St. James Academy so much, I had no desire to go to the prom," Justin explained.

"So basically, you're telling me that it was all in my imagination," Brian said.

"What else can I say, Brian? All I can do is tell you what happened. Whether you choose to believe me or not is completely up to you. I can't make you do anything. I never could," Justin added, with a smirk.

"Oh, you made me do more than you think," Brian told him and almost laughed as he thought about all the changes he had made and the things that Justin was able to make him do, during the time they were together. He tried to never let on how strongly Justin had affected him, but he would have done almost anything for the blond. He had become such an important person to him, and sometimes all it took was one of Justin's radiant smiles, and he turned to mush inside.

Justin just stared at him, and remained quiet for a while. Brian was looking at him strangely, and it was making him feel a little uncomfortable. He wasn't sure what to do about all of this... what was it exactly? Confusion? Delusion? Insanity?

He had never admitted it to anyone, but he never really truly got over the brunet after he had lost his virginity to him. He had left him alone because that was what he wanted, but Brian had always had a place in his heart. Now with him claiming that they had been together and the apparent mixed emotions Brian was having towards him, it was affecting him emotionally as well, and bringing up some old feelings and issues he had with him. His thoughts were suddenly interrupted.

"Look, Justin. I know I sound insane, but I - " Brian paused, not knowing if he could continue.

"You what, Brian?" Justin asked softly, urging him to go on.

"I need you right now," he whispered, surprised that he had said the words out loud. Justin looked at Brian with a surprised expression as well. He had never heard Brian confess anything like that before to anyone. The man had always claimed he didn't need anyone. Justin was really starting to get scared now. This was all just getting way too complicated.

"I'll be here for you, Brian. I always have, and I always will. Michael and I love you. We're going to get you the help you need," Justin told him.

Brian's hopes fell at Justin's words. He knew the blond didn't believe him. He most likely thought he was off his rocker. Obviously he felt that Brian needed to see a shrink. That wasn't exactly what he meant when he said he needed him. He'd hoped that Justin would listen to him and help him figure all of this shit out.

"You know that, don't you?" Justin asked. Brian just nodded absently. He really wanted to be left alone now.

"Sorry, Sunshine, your time is up. It's been swell, but I've got to get back to Mary Jane. She gets upset when I keep her waiting too long," Brian joked lamely. He couldn't deal with any more of this right now. He just wanted to get really high and try to relax and get some much needed sleep.

Justin nodded and stood up from where he was sitting.

"I'll tell Michael you're okay. If you know what's good for you, you'll call him tomorrow morning. You know he's got a key and he's not afraid to use it," Justin smirked.

"Trust me, I know. I'm thinking about having the locks changed," Brian told him. Justin laughed lightly, and then gave Brian a small hug.

"Try to get some rest," he told Brian, who just nodded slightly.

He watched Justin leave his loft and then headed back to his bedroom to lie down in his bed and sparked up his joint once again. He stayed awake quite a while that night, getting high and contemplating his fucked up life. It was only after he came up with a revelation and seemingly perfect plan, that he was finally able to fall asleep. He would fix things. He would be happy again. This was his chance to start over from scratch and make things right. It would mean a lot of changes - but shit, everything had already changed so much anyway, that it didn't make much of a difference now. It didn't matter because Justin was worth it.