Kindred Love: Boys to Men

Spontaneous Decision

Justin crept down the stairs as quietly as he could, trying not to disturb Brian as he slept. Of course it always happens that when you're trying to be quiet, that is when every little noise seems to amplify, and when he put his weight on the ever creaky step that he otherwise would have never given a second thought to, he silently cursed, as he heard it squeak the loudest it had ever been. When he finally reached the bottom of the staircase, he then started to walk through the dark living room, trying to manage getting to the kitchen without making a sound. He almost jumped out of his skin when he heard a voice.

"Justin?"

Justin quickly spun around and was relieved to see that it was just Brian there and not some serial killer ready to stab him in the head. He had a tendency to be paranoid, especially in the dark.

"Shit, you scared me," Justin whispered. He looked at the handsome brunette, stretched out on the sofa with a blanket over him, only covering him up to his waist, revealing his tanned, muscular chest and arms. His hair was a bit disheveled. Justin wanted to eat him alive.

Brian smiled apologetically at the blond. "Sorry."

"It's okay, you just took me by surprise. I thought you were sleeping. Did I wake you?" Justin asked.

"You know I'm a light sleeper. You can blame that 6th step that always squeaks. Don't worry about it though. I've woken up 3 times so far tonight. I always have broken sleep when I'm not in my own bed," Brian told him.

"Yeah, I know," Justin nodded at him.

Brian looked at Justin and wondered what was going on with him. "So what brings you down here at whatever ungodly hour it is?" Brian asked.

"I couldn't sleep. I thought I'd come down and look for a snack," Justin said.

"Comfort food?" Brian asked with an arched brow.

"What?" Justin asked, pretending to not know what Brian meant.

"Something is wrong. Besides your slightly strange behavior and being mostly quiet in the car after your graduation, the fact that you're seeking food in the middle of the night is a sure sign that something is bothering you. You always pig out when something is wrong, so spill it," Brian told him.

Justin chuckled lightly. Brian still knew him as if they were never apart, despite their distance over the last couple of years. Brian sat up and scooted over a bit to make some room, and then patted the cushion next to him.

"Have a seat and tell Dr. Kinney what the problem is," Brian teased in a deep mocking voice. Justin laughed and sat on the sofa next to the brunet.

"I guess I'm feeling a little guilty," Justin said quietly. Brian looked at him in confusion.

"About?" he pressed.

"About John. You know ever since he broke up with me we haven't spoken a word to each other until today? I was pissed at him for a while for just dumping me and then ignoring me. I know it was his way of getting over our relationship, but still, it just made me feel like shit. When we spoke today after graduation, I could see that he wasn't upset about us anymore and that he was okay with me, but I could also see the sadness in his eyes. Then his asshole father came over to us..." Justin sighed and shook his head.

"What did he say?" Brian asked.

"He said in not so many words that I'm wasting my time going to an art school instead of following in my father's footsteps in business, and also implied that only fags go to schools like PIFA," Justin frowned.

"What a fucking prick!" Brian said angrily. Justin nodded.

"I told you before that I wasn't ready to come out to my parents, and that is true, but it was partly because of John. He was afraid that his father would find out. The night I told him I was going to PIFA, I gave him a hard time about not coming out, and hating the fact that we had to hide, but as soon as his father said those things to me today, I knew then why he was so terrified for his father to know he's gay. Mr. Pierce would not only cut him off, but he would disown him -- hate him. You should have seen the man's face as he spoke to me. He had pure disgust in his eyes when he implied homosexuality," Justin said.

"I'm sorry you had to go through that," Brian told him, sincerely. Justin shook his head sadly.

"It was nothing compared to what John must go through every day. I was standing there in front of them, and all I could think about was how much I wanted to get the fuck away from John's parents, and when I finally did, I felt incredibly guilty, like I was leaving John behind to deal with them and their hatred on his own," Justin said, tears filling his eyes.

Brian leaned in and gave Justin a hug as he quietly sobbed. "Justin, hey. Listen. Are you listening?" Brian asked and then pulled away to make sure Justin was looking him in the face.

"I'm listening," Justin hiccuped.

"It's not your fault. It's not your fault that he has homophobic parents. You shouldn't feel guilty about anything. It is his choice to stay here and put up with it. There is no reason why you should have to suffer right along with him and be forced to live a lie. I'm sure John realizes that. There might be a part of him that resents you for being so brave and able to leave and make it out on your own, but don't for one second think that you are responsible for his unhappiness. You're in no way selfish or a bad person because you're leaving. It's time for you to move on to bigger and better things, and to live your life openly as the person you truly are. I'm really proud of you for taking this big step, Justin," Brian told him, and wiped away Justin's stray tears with his thumb.

Justin leaned in and hugged him again, this time tighter. "Thank you, Brian," he sighed, feeling much better. He still felt a little bad, but Brian's words had soothed him, and he knew he had needed to hear them. As usual, Brian had said all the right things.

"That's why you love me," Brian whispered in his ear, and Justin was glad that they were still hugging and Brian couldn't see his face, because at those words, he flushed crimson and if not for their embrace, he was sure he would have fallen off the sofa and melted into the floor. He did love Brian. More than the brunet could ever know.

Justin finally pulled out of their embrace and looked at Brian and smiled.

"So, 'Mr. Fix-it', your words of wisdom were great and all, but I don't think I'm cured yet," Justin told him.

Brian smiled at him. "Oh, yeah? What makes you say that, drama princess?" he teased.

"Well, for one thing, I'm still hungry." Brian laughed at his friend.

"You're always hungry, Sunshine. The day that you refuse food is the day I'll be extremely worried," Brian smirked.

"Shut up," he laughed, and pushed Brian playfully.

"Seriously, if you eat something right now, especially sugar - and I know that's what you were going to look for in the kitchen - you'll have trouble getting back to sleep. Why don't you skip the snack and go back upstairs to try to get some rest?" Brian said.

"I don't want to. I'd rather stay down here with you," Justin pouted. Brian rolled his eyes, but smiled, and he couldn't say he wasn't pleased that Justin felt that way.

"Okay, how about this. We can watch TV here on the sofa until you get sleepy," Brian suggested.

"I like that idea," Justin smiled. He grabbed the remote from the coffee table and then immediately got under the blanket and cuddled next to Brian, and turned on the television. The brunet happily cuddled back into the blond, still finding it hard to believe that he was actually there, in Philly, with Justin. He was so happy he was able to go. He almost didn't, but he was able to pull some strings at the last minute.

"So, what's on the tube?" Brian asked.

"Shit, nothing so far," Justin said making a face. After a while of channel surfing, he finally landed on the Cartoon Network, and saw that the Powerpuff Girls were on.

"Yes! I love this episode!" Justin said excitedly.

Brian shook his head and chuckled at the blond. Some things never changed. He certainly didn't mind. He loved his Justin like this, all giddy and excited over something so small. It never did take much to make him happy; he was always so easy to please. He loved that about him. He loved everything about Justin.

An hour later, both boys had fallen fast asleep entangled in each other, the flickering light from the television screen making shadows on their peaceful faces.

Jennifer had thought she heard voices, and walked downstairs, the mother in her wanting to make sure Brian was okay and had everything he needed. She saw that the television was on, and figured that was the noise she must have heard.

"Brian must have fallen asleep watching TV," she thought.

She walked over to turn off the television and was surprised to see her son and Brian curled up together on the sofa, sound asleep. She looked at them for a long moment and sighed. She had a feeling that her suspicions about Justin being gay were now confirmed. It wouldn't have been unusual for them to fall asleep together, but the way their arms were securely wrapped around each other, there was no question in her mind that these two boys really cared about each other in a way that went beyond friendship. She could see it on their faces as they slept. Suddenly, like missing pieces of a puzzle, certain things that Justin had said or done over the years started to enter into her mind, and it all seemed to fall into place and make sense to her now.

She smiled down at the two boys. If Justin was gay, she couldn't have asked for a better person for him than Brian. He was like family, and she knew he was a good person with a big heart. She leaned over and lightly kissed Justin's forehead, and then Brian's.

"Make my son happy," she whispered so soft it was barely audible. She then turned off the TV and went back upstairs. As soon as she left, Brian's eyes opened, and he smiled. He just knew Jennifer would be okay with Justin being gay. He closed his eyes again and cuddled in closer to Justin and immediately fell back asleep with a content look on his face.

As Jennifer climbed into bed with her husband, she felt him stir and then turn on his side to wrap his arms around her, kissing the back of her neck.

"Everything okay, sweetie?" he asked his wife sleepily.

"Yeah, fine," she said. Craig opened his eyes. He knew that tone of voice.

"What's wrong, Jen?" he asked.

"Nothing, go to sleep," she told him quietly.

"Come on, I know you. Tell me what's going on," he urged, now more awake. Jennifer sighed.

"I went downstairs and Justin and Brian were asleep on the sofa," she said.

"And? What's the problem?" he asked.

"They were... well, holding each together. Craig, I think that something is going on between Justin and Brian," Jennifer said.

"You mean you think they're a couple?" he asked. Jennifer nodded.

"I don't know about that, but there is something between them."

"Well, you don't know that for sure. I mean, they were just sleeping," Craig pointed out.

"I'm pretty sure, Craig. I told you before that I thought Justin might be gay. I just thought that he would have said something to us. Him not saying anything kind of made me think I might have been wrong, but after seeing them like that, I have no doubt in my mind," Jennifer said. Craig turned Jennifer onto her back so they would face each other.

"And if he is gay... are you okay with that?" he asked softly. Jennifer nodded.

"Of course. He's my son, and I'll love him no matter what. I'm just a little disappointed that he wasn't honest with us about it. I mean, I don't even know what he's gone through. I have no idea if he's had any trouble with the kids at school, or if he's had a boyfriend... I feel like I don't really know my son anymore," Jennifer said sadly. Craig nodded, and then kissed her softly on the mouth.

"I'm sure he didn't do it to hurt us, honey. I imagine that he might be afraid that we'd reject him. Maybe he has some gay friends with parents who are not so supportive, I don't know. I think the best thing that we can do right now is just continue to love and support him, and when he is ready, I'm sure he'll tell us the truth. He can't keep it a secret forever," Craig said.

"I suppose you're right," Jennifer said.

"It's going to be okay, Jen. I love you," he told her.

"I love you too," she smiled, and kissed her husband. They then turned on their sides to spoon, and went to sleep.

**********************************************************************

"Justin! Brian! Waaaaaake up!" Molly called out. Justin groaned, and Brian opened his eyes to a blond ball of energy jumping up and down and staring at them.

"Hey, short stuff. Did you have pure sugar for breakfast this morning or something?" he asked her in his hoarse morning voice. She shook her head at him.

"Noooo... I had Cocoa Puffs," she answered, continuing to jump up and down. Brian smirked. Molly reminded him so much of Justin when he was younger.

"Juuuustin! Wake up!" she yelled. Justin groaned again, but still had his eyes closed.

"Damn it, Mollusk, leave us the fuck alone!" Justin yelled and pulled the blanket over his head. Brian just laughed.

"Uuuuu, you said the 'f' word! I'm telling Mom!" she threatened.

"Good, anything to make you go away," Justin said and threw one of the sofa pillows in her direction but completely missing his target, causing her to giggle hysterically.

"Why don't you give us a minute, short stuff," Brian told her. She smiled at him.

"Okay," she said sweetly. She liked Brian. He made her laugh and was nice to her. She also thought he was really cute. She skipped away, leaving the two young men alone.

Brian pulled the blanket off of Justin's face.

"Hey, Sunshine," Brian whispered into Justin's ear, making the blond smile. He opened his eyes and saw Brian staring at him with his beautiful hazel orbs.

"Hey," Justin said.

"You fell asleep watching Tom and Jerry. You looked so peaceful I didn't want to wake you. Well... that and I liked cuddling with you," Brian admitted with a slight blush. Justin grinned at his confession.

"Me too. That was like the best night's sleep I've had in months. I usually can't stand sleeping on this sofa," Justin said.

"I guess it has it's disadvantages, especially when a certain little girl can run in here and wake you with a morning call like that," Brian smirked. Justin rolled his eyes.

"God. Seriously. I love her, but she bugs the shit out of me sometimes. She helps to prove my point on my needing to be out on my own. I mean, I really need my privacy, and I just can't have that with the little Mollusk always poking around," he said.

"Mollusk," Brian laughed at the nickname. "I can't believe you call your sister that."

"What do you call your sister?" Justin asked.

"Cunt." They both started laughing at that.

"Oh, come on. You know you love Claire," Justin told him.

"Yeah, when she's not being a cunt," he laughed again.

A few years prior, Brian had started to build a relationship with his sister. She had tracked him down and called him to say that she wanted them to keep in touch, and they had. They actually got along pretty well. They had even visited each other a few times. She finally ended up making the decision to move to Pittsburgh to be closer to him, and they saw each other on a fairly regular basis.

"I'm starving," Justin said, hearing his stomach growl. Brian laughed.

"I think we already determined that you're always in 'hungry mode'," he teased, and Justin rolled his eyes at him.

They got up from the sofa each stretching out the kinks in their muscles and then made their way into the kitchen, seeing that Craig was sitting at the table eating oatmeal and reading a newspaper. He looked up to see them standing there and smiled.

"Good morning, boys. How did you sleep?" he asked.

"Great," Justin said, and he and Brian shared a look that didn't escape Craig's attention.

"Glad to hear it. You boys hungry?" he asked. They both nodded at him. "Well, your mother is out running errands, and I have to leave in about 10 minutes to meet a colleague, so either you'll have to cook yourself or manage with cereal or oatmeal," Craig told them.

"You want chocolate chip pancakes?" Justin asked Brian.

"Are you kidding?"

"That is my specialty," Justin beamed. Brian shook his head and smirked.

"No wonder everyone was always so upbeat in the mornings in this house. You all have sugar seeping out of your pores," Brian joked. Craig started laughing and nodded.

"Don't look at me, you see I'm eating plain oatmeal," Craig defended.

"What does that matter? You still put like 5 tablespoons of sugar in your coffee every morning," Justin pointed out.

"For which I am truly grateful, and would probably not make it through the first half of my days without it," Craig chuckled.

"See? Hypocritical," Justin smirked.

"Hey, why don't you worry about your pancakes and stop persecuting me," Craig said, pretending to be offended.

Brian laughed at the exchange between father and son. Their relationship had always been good, but he could see that it was even stronger now, and he was happy for that. He doubted that when Justin came out it would change things between them. Craig really loved his son, and Brian was sure he wouldn't ever distance himself from the Justin because of his sexuality.

Justin started on the chocolate chip pancakes, and Craig eventually left. They were sitting at the table eating their pancakes when Brian decided to bring up what he had been thinking about since before he arrived in Philadelphia.

"Hey, Justin, I've been thinking..." Brian started. Justin looked over at Brian curiously. He definitely had his attention.

"Oh yeah? About what?" he asked slowly.

"Well, you know I'm supposed to go back to Pittsburgh tomorrow..."

"Yeah," Justin nodded at him, trying not to show how sad he was that brunet wasn't staying longer.

"Well, I was thinking that maybe you should come back with me," Brian said, and looked at Justin to see his reaction.

"What?" Justin asked surprised.

"Well, I mean, you said that you wished you could leave sooner. What's leaving a month and half early going to hurt?" Brian asked. Justin was silent and considered what Brian was suggesting.

"Wow. I don't know what to say," Justin said.

"Come on. It will give you time to settle into the apartment with Emmett. His roommate is all moved out now," Brian said.

"Shit. I really want to, Brian. But what about my parents? They expected me to stay here until at least July," Justin pointed out.

"Justin, you're 18 years old, remember? This is your decision. Moving to Pittsburgh, going to PIFA - you made those choices on your own. What's holding you back now?" Brian asked.

"But I have my job at the cafe..."

"So quit. People move and get new jobs all the time. You could start working at Aunt Deb's diner and earn some money before school starts. I think it's perfect," Brian said.

Justin knew he was right. There really wasn't any reason for him to stay in Philadelphia longer. It seemed like he was just sitting around waiting for July to come so he could start the next phase of his life.

Justin smiled at Brian brightly. "I'll do it," he said.

Brian smiled back at him and got up and hugged him tightly. Justin felt a surge of happiness run through his body. He was so excited for all the new things to come in his life. He couldn't wait to start PIFA and move into his own apartment... well maybe not his own, but at least he would be responsible for himself there, and no annoying little sisters would be there to spy on him, and no parents would be there to try to make his decisions for him. He was so close to freedom he could practically taste it.

As far as his relationship with Brian went, he didn't really know what was going on. They hadn't spoken about it at all. They had held each other all night, and it had felt so good, but it hadn't gone beyond that, and as much as Justin wanted to kiss the brunet as he held him in his arms, he was okay with just cuddling with him, just being there with him. Justin guessed that maybe Brian wanted to wait until after they arrived in Pittsburgh to discuss their relationship. He wasn't too worried about it, though. He had a good feeling that Brian wanted to be with him. He was ecstatic that Brian had asked him to go back with him. He couldn't wait. The only thing he was worried about was breaking the news to his parents.

********************************************************************

Justin and Brian decided that they would talk to Jennifer and Craig together that evening. The family was in the living room watching television as they usually did in the late evening as they relaxed. Molly was fast asleep on the floor, the day's sugar finally catching up to her.

"It's too bad you couldn't stay longer, Brian. Three days doesn't seem like a long enough visit," Jennifer told the brunet.

"Yeah, I couldn't make it longer because of my summer internship," Brian told her, and then made eye contact with Justin. It was now or never.

"Yeah, uh, Mom and Dad, there is something that I need to tell you..." Justin started. Jennifer and Craig looked at him, more than a few things going through their minds about what Justin may want to tell them. Brian could see how nervous Justin was and decided to help him out.

"Justin and I discussed him coming back with me to Pittsburgh tomorrow," Brian stepped in. They watched Jen and Craig's expression carefully. Jennifer looked a little disappointed, and Craig's face was hard to read.

"I see," Craig answered. "And so is that what you've decided Justin?" Craig asked. Justin nodded slowly.

"Yes. I realized that there really isn't much holding me back from leaving now. Why wait an extra month and a half?" Justin told him.

"Because you could have used that time to spend with your family, Justin," Jennifer spoke up.

"Mom..." Justin said softly. He knew she would react this way. She always got emotional when they talked about him moving. She just had a hard time letting her little boy go.

"Jen, this is his decision. I'm not happy to see him go either, but if he wants to leave tomorrow, it's up to him," Craig told his wife.

"Well, I just hate that this was sprung on us like this," Jennifer frowned.

"Jennifer, he didn't decide this until this morning, it was a spontaneous decision for him. He wasn't plotting this behind your backs or anything," Brian assured them.

Justin stood up and walked over to his mother and hugged her. "Mom, I'm sorry," he whispered. She hugged him back, and felt herself tear up.

"Don't be, sweetie. I'll get over it. I just wish you weren't going to be so far away. I thought I had more time to spend with you before you left us," she said.

"I'm not leaving forever, Mom. You know I'll be back to visit on the holidays. Thanksgiving, Christmas - they're only a few months away. It will be here before we know it," Justin said, giving her a smile. She smiled back at him and nodded.

"Do I have your promise that you'll be here for Thanksgiving?" she asked.

"Yes, of course I'll be here. I wouldn't want to miss your yams and pumpkin pie!" he said. Jennifer laughed and wiped her damp cheek with her hand.

"And you, young man," she pointed at Brian. "I expect you to be here too," she said sternly. Brian smiled.

"You've got it, Jen," he told her, and gave her a hug too.

Jennifer looked at Brian for a moment and then back at her son. She hoped that things between him and Justin would work out. Even though Justin had never said anything, she knew that he loved Brian, and the looks she caught the brunet giving her son told her that he felt the same way.