Kindred Love

Sorry Is Bullshit

Jennifer had breakfast on the table for Craig, Justin and Brian at 9:00 the next morning. Justin tried to keep things lively by talking nonstop about everything he could think of. Brian ate his pancakes in silence. He just listened to his friend and was actually grateful that he was filling up the awkward silence that might have been there. There were visible bruises on Brian now that they didn't see last night. He had a bruise darkening on his left cheekbone, and had marks around his neck as if large hands had been wrapped around it. His split lip now had dried blood around it. His lip stung a little as he ate his food. He knew how he looked. The first thing he had done when he woke up that morning was go to the bathroom to assess the damage in the mirror. He thanked God it was Saturday and he didn't have to go to school looking like that. He healed pretty quickly and he knew the marks would be faded by Monday. Of course if he had to he could always lie and say that he got into a fight with another boy, but that still wouldn't give him back his dignity.

"Hey, Brian, you wanna go to the park today and try out your new soccer ball?" Justin asked enthusiastically. Brian was about to answer, when Craig spoke up.

"Sorry, buddy, in order to do that Brian would have to go home and get his ball, and we don't want him going home yet until we figure out what's going on." Brian looked up at Craig with curiosity.

"What are you going to do?" Brian asked Craig. The doorbell rang at that moment. Jennifer stood up.

"I'll see who that is," Jennifer said quietly. She was surprised to see Joan Kinney at her door with another woman she didn't recognize. She also noticed that Joan had a black eye.

"Mrs. Kinney?" Jennifer asked. Joan gave a weak smile and nodded. She looked concerned.

"Is Brian all right?" Joan asked. Surprised that Joan would know where Brian was, she was quiet for a moment, and then shook her head.

"No, Joan, he isn't. He came here in the middle of the night, scared out of his mind! He has bruises around his neck and face and has a split lip... Brian is definitely NOT okay," Jennifer said angrily.

"Jack...he's in jail. After Brian ran out of the house last night I called the police and pressed charges. I knew Brian was safe here, and I figured he wouldn't want to come back to our house last night, so I left him alone," Joan said quietly.

"Thank you for that," Jennifer said. "Would you like to come in?" she asked. Joan nodded and she and the woman she was with followed Jennifer to the living room, and gestured for the two women to sit on the sofa.

"Let me just get my husband." Jennifer excused herself. She walked into the kitchen and all three pairs of eyes were on her.

"Could you guys go upstairs and check on Molly for me? Then after that maybe you and Brian could go to your room for a while and play your new video game?" Jennifer suggested.

"Okay. Come on, Brian," Justin complied. Brian looked at Jennifer, knowing that whatever was going on had to do with him. He followed Justin up the stairs to his bedroom.

Craig and Jennifer walked into the living room to join the other two women. The woman Joan was with stood to greet them. She was an attractive woman, in her mid thirties. She had a slender body and had long red hair and wore black rimmed glasses over her green eyes.

"Hello, Mr. And Mrs. Taylor. I'm Rita Thompson. I'm a social worker. I was assigned here because of the unfortunate events that have occurred at the Kinney household, regarding Joan's son, Brian." Rita introduced herself as she shook both Jennifer's and Craig's hands.

"Joan has said to me that unfortunately, she realizes she is incapable of caring for Claire and Brian at the present time. She feels she needs to get herself into a rehab and undergo counseling for the years of abuse that she has rendered from her husband, Jack Kinney." Jennifer and Craig looked at Joan in surprise. They were not expecting this news.

"I know how important you two have become to my son. You have no idea how much it has broken my heart that he has had to come to you rather than his own mother for comfort and safety," Joan spoke up.

"Mrs. Kinney, we're glad that you've decided to get help. But what is going to happen to your kids now?" Craig wanted to know.

"Mr. Taylor, Joan has telephoned her sister in Pittsburgh, and she has agreed to take Brian into her custody," Rita answered.

Jennifer and Craig looked at each other with the same look. They were worried about what kind of care Brian would be in.

"Brian is more than welcome to stay here with us," Jennifer offered. "We love him like our own son. He is a good kid, and he loves Justin and Molly."

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Taylor. I know that is what you want and I'm sure that is what Brian wants, but I'm afraid that just isn't possible. We don't know how the situation between Mr. And Mrs. Kinney is going to work out. We need to keep Brian in a secure location until that is settled. It is in Brian's best interest as well as yours that he be far away from Jack Kinney. He is a dangerous man." Rita said.

"I understand that, Mrs. Thompson, but Brian just started high school, and he is happy here, in Philadelphia," Jennifer said.

"I'm sorry, there is nothing else that can be done. The only other option is foster care, but we don't recommend that. In most cases, we have found children to be happier and more stable when placed with family members, rather than strangers."

"Joan is checking herself into rehab this afternoon. Since Mr. Kinney will be at the county Jail for the next two weeks, we wanted to know if Brian could remain in your care until he leaves for Pittsburgh."

"Of course he can stay here," Craig said.

"It's routine for us to check out whoever is going to take in a child. By the end of the week we will have interviewed Mrs. Novotney and checked out her home and decided whether she is fit to care for Brian. That will also give her some time to prepare for Brian's arrival." Rita looked at the Taylors and waited for a response.

"So what will happen to Claire?" Jennifer asked.

Rita looked down at her folded hands which rested in her lap. "Claire is not taking any of this well. She is very upset and doesn't understand what is going on. I'll be driving her to her grandparent's house this afternoon," Rita answered.

"Where do they live?" Craig asked.

"Across town."

"They live here in Philly? Why won't Brian be staying with them as well?" Jennifer asked.

"They only have the room and financial support to take in one child," Rita explained. Joan looked up at that moment to speak.

"Look. I know it must look like I am a terrible person. I really want you to know that I love Brian very much. I never wanted him to be hurt or to suffer. I wish things could have been different. But that is why I had to do this. I need for him to be safe. Last night was just too much." Joan's voice cracked as she finished her sentence. Her eyes immediately filled up with tears and held her head in her hands. Jennifer reached for Kleenex box that was sitting nearby on the coffee table, and handed it to her.

"Oh, thank you, dear," she said weakly as she pulled a tissue from the box and dabbed it around her eyes. "I would like to say goodbye to my son," Joan sniffled. "I don't know when I'll see him again. If it works out with him living with my sister, Debbie, then she said she would be willing to officially adopt him," Joan said sadly. "Even though she hasn't seen him too much over the years, she's always loved Brian, and I know he is in good hands with her."

Jennifer looked at Joan, sympathetically. She couldn't imagine what the woman had been through all these years. She knew it must hurt to have to give up her children, but she was doing the right thing. Maybe now she and Jack would both get the help they needed and everyone would be more safe.

"I'll go get Brian," Jennifer said.

Jennifer walked upstairs and found the boys in Justin's room playing Mario Paint. Brian looked as though he was lost in thought as they played. He was not smiling or laughing like he usually did when he and Justin played the game together.

"Brian," Jennifer called softly. Brian immediately looked up at Jennifer and was alarmed. "Your mother is downstairs and needs to speak with you," she told him. Brian nodded and slowly got up and followed her downstairs.

Brian immediately saw the three adults sitting in the living room and wondered what was going on.

Joan took in the appearance of her son's bruised face and teared up again.

"Brian, come and sit by me," she said. He did so, and she immediately took him into a hug. He hugged her back tightly. He felt the urge to cry but held his tears back.

"Honey, I'm so sorry he did this to you," Joan said as she softly touched her son's face. "That was the last time, baby," she said. Brian gave her a confused look.

"What do you mean?" Brian asked. Joan took Brian's hand in hers.

"He is in jail, honey," Joan answered. A look of joy and relief appeared on Brian's face and he hugged his mother again, this time with more force.

"He's really gone? You mean it's just us now?" Brian asked. Joan's face dropped. She realized that Brian thought that his father was going away forever and now they could live without him.

"Honey, there have been some decisions made for your best interest," Joan said. Brian immediately felt uncomfortable and knew that this news would probably not be what he had hoped for.

"What decisions?" Brian asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.

"You're going to be living with your Aunt Debbie and your cousin Michael in Pittsburgh for a while," Joan said quietly.

"A while? How long is a while?" Brian asked.

"Indefinitely - maybe permanently," Joan stated quietly.

"But...but why can't I stay with you?" Brian asked. He was starting to panic. His mother didn't want him anymore? Was she upset with him now that his father was in jail?

"I have some problems that I need to fix, baby. I can't do that and take care of you and your sister." Brian backed away from his mother.

"Why do I have to leave?" Brian asked. He looked over to Jennifer and Craig, whose faces were full of sadness. Jennifer's eyes had started to tear up and Craig had his arm around her shoulder for support.

"Why can't I stay here with the Taylors?" Brian asked, feeling the hurt stab through his heart. He didn't want to leave this family. They meant too much to him. "Don't you want me?" Brian asked them, almost losing himself to tears.

"Oh, sweetie, we want you here with us more than anything," Jennifer said. "But Ms. Thompson says that it would be for your safety that you not be so close to your father," she explained.

Justin, who had been listening at the top of the stairs chose that time to make his presence known.

"Brian can't leave!" he cried. He ran to the his friend and hugged him tightly, tears streaking down his face. "Don't take him away, please!" Justin pleaded, as he looked at Rita.

Hearing Justin's reaction finally forced Brian's eyes to fill up with tears as well, and he hugged Justin back, not wanting to let go.

Rita sighed. This job never got easier. It was always hard to separate families, and there were often lots of tears. This was the part of the job she hated. She looked into Justin's pleading blue eyes as he spoke to her.

"Who is going to sing 'This old Man' to Molly? She'll be too sad if he leaves. She likes it when he picks her up and rocks her!" Justin's tears ran freely down his face as he continued. "Brian helps mom around the house. She needs him! He just made the soccer team. He is going to win a game for mom!" Justin ranted, spitting out every excuse he could think of to get them to let Brian stay.

Craig walked over to his son, and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Justin, listen. I know this is hard, but this is how it is. We can't do anything about it. Brian can stay with us until next Sunday, and then he has to go to Pittsburgh. Let's focus on the time that we have left with him, and make this week a good one, huh?" Craig said.

Justin wiped his tears with his arm, and sniffled. He seemed to be taking what Craig said into consideration.

"Justin, if your family lets you, you'll be allowed to visit Brian in Pittsburgh from time to time. You can write and phone each other. We're not saying that you can't be friends with him anymore," Rita explained.

Justin nodded in defeat. He wasn't happy about it, but there was nothing he could do. He wiped the last of his tears and looked at Brian.

"Brian, promise me that you won't ever stop being my friend?" Justin asked.

Brian smiled at Justin sadly. "I couldn't even if I wanted to," he replied and then hugged Justin tightly.

Joan waited for Brian to release Justin, and then took her son's hand in hers.

"Brian, I'm going to get myself some help. I'm sorry I haven't been a good mother to you. I'm sorry I couldn't protect you from Jack. I'm sorry that you've had to endure everything you've had to." Joan paused and her tears started up again. She leaned in and hugged Brian.

"You know, we really should be thanking God right now. Jack could have killed you. I think this was God's way of telling us that we needed to make some changes," Joan told him.

Brian winced at the mention of God. He used to pray to Him all the time. He tried to be a good boy. That never stopped Jack from beating him senseless. He had made up his mind that God didn't exist one night when Jack went after him with his leather strap and started beating him with it as hard as he could. Brian had begged and pleaded to God to make it stop, but it didn't. It continued until Jack's arm got tired. And with the adrenaline running through Jack's veins that particular night, it didn't get tired for a while. Brian winced at the memory, and listened as Joan continued.

"I love you, Brian. I hope you know that. I can't tell you what's going to happen. All I know is that this is the right thing to do, and for once, I'm acting on it," Joan explained.

Brian made no reply. All he could think of was that he was being sent away. He was losing everything and everyone he cared about.

Joan kissed Brian's cheek, and then stood up from the sofa. Rita took this as her cue that they were leaving now. She turned to speak to Jennifer and Craig.

"I'll be giving you a call later in the week to let you know Brian's flight information. In the meantime, I ask that Brian pack all of his belongings and bring them over here. Whatever he can't take with him on the plane can be shipped to him," Rita informed them.

"If there is any news on Mr. Kinney, I will inform you as well." Rita turned to Brian. "Brian, if there is anything you need, give me a call, okay?" Rita said, handing Brian her card.

Brian nodded and accepted the card but wasn't really acknowledging the woman speaking to him. Everything was happening so fast, he was having a hard time letting everything register in his mind.

They all walked Joan and Rita to the door. Joan gave one last look at her son before she spoke.

"I'm just so sorry, Brian," she said.

Brian looked into his mother's eyes, and he was suddenly angry. Sorry? It seemed like he had been told that his whole life. Sorry. But it didn't mean anything. It never changed anything. His life was still the same. Sorry didn't erase all the pain and hurt he had gone through over the years. It was just an excuse. He hated the fucking word. He gave his mother a cold stare.

"Sorry is bullshit," he said in a low voice.

A pained look spread across Joan's face. Shocked that her son spoke to her this way and feeling a huge wave of guilt, she immediately rushed out the door with Rita following behind her.

Craig closed the front door, and then noticed that Brian was still staring ahead with the angry and hurt expression on his face. He seemed to be in a trance.

"You okay, buddy?" he asked Brian, resting his hand on the boy's shoulder. Brian's eyes finally met the older man's.

"Yeah, sure." he spoke softly. Brian really wanted to scream his lungs out. He didn't want to lose it in front of the Taylors though, so he tried to keep his emotions in check. "If it's okay, I'd like to go for a walk," he said.

"I'm not sure that's a good idea," Jennifer spoke up.

Craig gave his wife a knowing look. "Jen, maybe he needs to take some time to let it all soak in. Let's give him some space," Craig said.

Jennifer nodded slowly, but was still worried. She didn't want Brian to do anything drastic. She had no idea what was going through his mind.

"Be back in an hour, okay?" Craig told Brian.

He nodded in response. "Thanks." Brian walked out the front door and headed towards the park.