Breaking The Rules

The Reveal

Justin's POV

Just as I'm pulling up in front of Brian's building, my cell phone starts ringing. I look at the Caller ID and see that it's Molly. Oh shit. Molly! I completely forgot about her.

"Hey, Mollusk," I answer.

"Justin... I hope I'm not interrupting anything..." she says, and I swear I can hear her smile through the phone.

"No," I answer. Not yet.

"Um, I just called to tell you that Mom and I stopped by your apartment and picked up a few of my things. I decided to spend the weekend with her," she tells me. I smile, happy to hear that they are getting along.

"Are you sure, Moll?" I ask.

"Yeah. Mom and I have really been talking a lot. It feels just like old times. I didn't realize how much I've missed her, and being home. Tonight we're going to rent a movie and pick up some take-out and bring it home," she says.

"That's great! I guess I'll see you Sunday, then. Well, have fun," I tell her.

"I will. And I know you will too!" she says with a giggle. I roll my eyes with a smile, and silently curse myself again for kissing Brian in public. I'm sure it will be the talk of Liberty for a while.

"Bye," I tell her with a laugh. I just hear her giggle again and hang up.

I sigh and look at the building from inside my Jeep. Do I really want to do this? I can't get that kiss out of my mind. I'm getting hard now just thinking about it.

Here goes nothing.

I climb out of my car, and as I'm about to reach the door to the building, someone is just coming out and I catch the door before it closes. I decide to take the stairs, and I'm practically running up them as I think about tearing off Brian's clothes, and how fucking hot his body is naked.

I finally reach the top floor to his loft, and I'm suddenly feeling really nervous. My stomach is doing an acrobatic routine, and for a moment I'm starting to worry if I can get through this without throwing up. I take a deep breath and knock on the loft door, and wait patiently for an answer.

A minute later the door slides open, and I practically stumble backwards when I see that Brian has answered his door wearing a pair of 501 jeans and nothing else. Those jeans hug his curves in all the right places. He looks incredibly sexy, and I want to jump him right then and there.

No, Justin, first things first. I give him a weak smile.

He gives me a confused look. "Justin? What are you doing here?" he asks.

"I... I needed to talk to you," I say quietly. He stares at me blankly waiting for me to say something. "Are you going to let me in or do we have to have this discussion in your doorway?" I ask nervously.

He moves out of the way and motions for me to come in, and then closes the door behind him. "You want something to drink?" he asks.

"Please," I tell him, and walk over to his sofa and then sit and wait nervously, as he starts pouring me a shot of Jim Beam and hands it to me.

How does he do that? I smirk at him.

"What?" he asks with a smile. I shake my head at him.

"How do you always know what I want without me having to say it?" I ask him, and just as it comes out of my mouth, I realize at that moment that that revelation couldn't be truer. Brian has seemed to know what I've wanted and needed from the first day we met.

"Your face gives you away," he says nonchalant. "That, and I'm a good judge of character," he adds with a smile. I then knock back the shot quickly, feeling it burn my throat.

"So what did you want to talk about?" he asks, taking a seat next to me on the sofa, and my heart rate increases because he's so close to me right now.

"Well..." I know I must sound like an idiot right now. I'm not even sure what I'm going to say. "You kissed me," I tell him, as if that explains everything. He smiles at me.

"Yeah, I know, I was there," he smirks. He looks at me, waiting for me to continue.

"I wasn't expecting it..." I say.

"Neither was I. It was kind of a spur of the moment decision. Are you upset that it happened?" he asks, looking at me carefully.

"No," I whisper. He smiles at me again.

"Good, because I don't regret it, and I had no intention of apologizing for it."

I nod at him and then clear my throat. "About what you said after the kiss..." I start, and I can feel myself blush. I look at him and his expression is soft, and I can tell he knows I'm struggling with this, and he takes my hand in his encouragingly. I look down at our hands, and it just feels right.

"Yes?" he asks patiently.

"I..." I look into his beautiful hazel eyes, and suddenly, I'm lost. I've been holding back from him since the morning after we met, and now I just want to let myself go. I can feel myself slipping away into some kind of trance as I continue to look into his colorful orbs. It's as if I'm looking right into his soul.

Without thinking, I lean in and kiss him hard. He seems surprised at first, but kisses me back, and it quickly turns urgent as our tongues desperately seek each other out and start moving together. Our hands are all over each other. I want to touch every part and every crevice of his body. I want it all. This is it. This the point of no return.

Then suddenly, he stops and pulls away.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brian's POV

I was truly surprised when I opened my loft door and saw Justin standing there. I figured it was probably Mikey, since he has a key and makes it a habit to show up without calling first. I didn't hear the buzzer ring, so naturally, I was confused when I didn't see Mikey, but instead saw Justin standing there looking like a timid rabbit.

I didn't expect him to come here tonight to give me an answer. I wanted him to take his time and think about it. I wanted him to be certain that he wanted a relationship with me, because I sure as hell didn't want to start anything with him if he wasn't sure.

I smile to myself when he asks how it is that I always know what he wants without him having to say it. What I told him was true; I'm a good judge of character, but really, it's all about his body language and facial expressions that tells me what he wants and needs. The more time I've spent with him, the more I've learned about him, and I've learned quickly. From day one, in fact.

As he nervously starts to tell me the reason he is here, my stomach starts to turn in knots. I know whatever he's going to tell me is going to be big. I can see it in his eyes, not to mention, his hands are twitching; a habit of his I've picked up on whenever he's nervous or when something is weighing heavily on his mind.

He's stumbling over his words, and I wait patiently for him to say what it is he wants to say, or rather what he's TRYING to say, when suddenly I feel his hot mouth crushing against mine. I'm stunned at first, but soon recover and kiss him back urgently, loving the feel of his tongue against mine, and I feel my body surging with need. Our cocks are both so hard and pressing together through our clothes.

Does this mean what I think it means? Is Justin telling me that he wants to be with me? Wait... he didn't really say anything. Whoa, okay, Brian. You've got to find out what's going on. See where the two of you stand. How do I know if he only intends this to be a goodbye fuck?

I reluctantly stop kissing Justin, and take a moment to compose myself. He looks at me lustfully and I can tell he's confused as to why I have stopped what we obviously both want to happen. He smiles at me and leans in to kiss me again, and I softly push him away. I see the hurt look on his face and I can tell there are a million things running through his mind right now. He's feeling rejected, and I see his eyes dart from me to the loft door.

"Justin, hold on. Let's just slow down for a minute," I tell him calmly.

"This was a mistake..." he says a little shakily, and I can tell he is trying not to let his emotions show. He starts to turn away, and I grab him by the arm.

"Now, just fucking wait a minute, and stop jumping to conclusions," I tell him in an irritated tone. That gets his attention and he arches an eyebrow at me.

"What... what was that?" I ask him. He looks at me like I'm crazy. I shake my head at myself, and know I need to clarify myself. "You didn't give me an answer. I need to know what this means... what you want," I tell him. His eyebrows slightly furrowed with confusion.

"I thought I was being clear," he said. I stare into his eyes.

"I need to hear you say it," I tell him softly. He sighs deeply and then looks away from me. He doesn't say anything for a while, and I grab his hand and look at him with pleading eyes. He looks as if he wants to say something, but something else is fighting him on it, holding him back.

"Justin, I need to hear that this isn't just a fling. I need to know whether or not you care about me - about us, and want to be with me," I explain. I grab his chin and gently hold it so that he can't look away from me. "I need to know that this isn't a goodbye," I whisper with emotion, and feel myself on the verge of tears. I take a few breaths to keep that from happening.

Justin is staring at me, and I release my hold on his chin and wait for him to say something. Finally he gives me a soft smile.

"Brian, why do you need me to say all of that if you know me so well? You always seem to know what I want without me having to say it... didn't you just admit that was true?" He asks, turning the tables on me. I nod yes at him slowly.

"So don't you know now? What does your good judgment tell you right now?" he asks with intense eyes, and his voice is deeper. I swallow the lump in my throat and frown.

"Damn it, Justin. Stop with this fucking game and tell me. Tell me what you want," I plead in frustration. "Tell me," I whisper again, shaking him by the shoulders. He stares at me and tears fill his eyes.

"Yes," he whispers.

"Yes, what?" I ask him, feeling my hopes rise. He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath, and I see a tear fall down his cheek.

"Yes, I want you. I want us. I want... to try," he tells me with a smile. I immediately take him in my arms, hugging him, feeling his body shaking and hearing his soft sobs. When I release him he laughs a little.

"Shit. I promised myself I wouldn't do this again," he said, wiping his tears away with his hands.

"What?" I asked.

"Letting anyone see me cry... but it seems lately, I'm going back on a lot of things I told myself I wouldn't do," he smirks. "And it's all your fault," he says with a straight face, but then smiles to let me know that he is okay with it.

I look at him adoringly, his eyes all red and puffy, and I can't help but have even stronger feelings for this man. I stare at his red swollen lips, and then back at his beautiful blue eyes. He stares back at me, and I can tell he's doing some soul searching. I'm about to say something, when he beats me to it.

"Make love to me," he says quietly, and then leans in and kisses me. This time it is so soft and slow, and I feel a chill crawl up my spine and then shoot back down again. I've never wanted anyone as much as I want him right now, and I intend to show him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Justin's POV

He wanted to hear the words. He wanted me to admit that I wanted him. That I wanted a relationship. It had been so long since I put myself out there like that. I wasn't sure I could do it. I hate feeling so vulnerable. But... he was begging me. There were reasons he needed to hear me say the words, and when I heard the last reason, I knew that was his biggest fear. He wanted to know that I wasn't going to sleep with him and then leave and never come back. The way he was looking at me, I knew that he wasn't playing games with me. He really cares about me. He's the real deal. So, I gave him what he wanted - an answer. I said yes... even though it wasn't a yes or no that he was waiting to hear. But hey, that was what came out of my mouth, and once I elaborated that I wanted him, us, and to try, I could see the relief and joy come across his face before he hugged me to him so tightly.

I stare at him again and blink, just to make sure this is all real. If he's real. I look in his eyes and I see sincerity. I feel myself growing hard again, and I feel my need for this man grow stronger.

"Make love to me," I say and kiss him, making sure to take my time. I don't want to rush this. I feel his arms wrap around me, pulling me closer, as he nibbles on my lips in between our passionate kiss. He is the first to pull away, and he takes my hand in his and leads me to the bedroom.

"Come on," he whispers. I follow him without hesitation, feeling my nerves jump with anticipation. When we reach the bed, memories of our first time together flood back into my mind, and I feel myself grow impossibly harder.

Brian helps me shed off my clothes until I'm just in my underwear, and then slides off his own jeans, and I am pleasantly surprised to see that he isn't wearing any underwear. He gently pushes me back onto the bed until my head comes to rest on a pillow, and he is on top of me kissing me again. His lips are so warm and soft and the deeper the kiss, the needier I feel. Briefly, I feel like kicking myself for not letting this happen a lot sooner. I was so intent making sure things stayed at a friendship level, when I could have had this man's lips, his body, his cock...

Speaking of cock, I feel his poking into my stomach, while his hand is rubbing mine through my boxers, and I gasp when he gives it a squeeze. Brian is keeping it all slow paced, which is nice but also frustrating. I wanted to go slow at first too, but I'm so fucking hard right now and all I can think about is how much I want to feel him inside of me, pounding away, feeling his balls slapping against my ass.

"Brian," I plead. "I need you," I say breathlessly in between our wet kisses. He pulls away and smiles at me.

"Just relax. I want to take my time. I'll make it worth your while," he says in a sexy, lustful voice.

I feel him drag his tongue down my torso and work further down my body. My heart starts racing the closer he gets to my cock. He's going agonizingly slow down my body, taking his sweet time licking and kissing and sucking everywhere. I feel like I might explode just watching his tongue move all around my pale, smooth skin, leaving its wet snail-like trail.

I feel his fingers reach the elastic of my underwear, and I look down at him. Our eyes lock as he gives me a devilish grin, and opens his mouth, blowing hot air through the cotton material, causing me to arch my back and moan.

"You like that?" he asks, still grinning.

"Fuck yeah, but shit, if you keep teasing me like that, I'm going to cum," I warn him, as I pant.

"So what if you do? We've got all night," he says, and then starts to pull my boxers down slowly, stopping for a moment to bury his nose into my pubic hair and breath in my scent.

"You smell so good," he moans, and then pulls off my boxers the rest of the way and tosses them over his shoulder. Before I can even think about it, his mouth is wrapped around my cock, and I feel his tongue running along the vein on the underside of it.

"Oh God," I scream out, feeling like I could explode any second. Just when I feel like I'm getting dangerously close to cumming, I feel his mouth slip from my cock, and I groan at the loss of his wet, hot mouth. He climbs up my body once again, and kisses me. His kisses are harder now, more urgent, and I feel his heart pounding against my chest. I'm caressing his face and then I run my fingers through his soft hair, loving the feel of it against my skin.

We continue to kiss until I decide that I want to gain some control and roll us over so that I'm now on top of him. He doesn't seem to mind. In fact, he's smiling at me and I feel myself not being able to help but mirror his expression. I reach between us and finally grab his thick, long, cock and stroke it softly. I hear his breath catch in his throat.

"Justin," he hisses, his breathing more rapid. I lick his right ear and then nibble on the lobe as I stroke a little harder.

"I want to ride you, Brian," I whisper hoarsely. He moans, and I fist his cock faster.

"I want to sink my ass onto your thick cock and ride it until I'm cumming all over the place," I say erotically, my voice a little louder than before. I smear his precum around and continue to jack him off. "What do you think?" I ask.

"Do it," he demands, and I smile.

"I thought you'd never ask," I chuckle. I reach into his night stand for a condom and lube. I straddle him and slip the rubber on him. He takes the lube and applies plenty of it to his dick, and then reaches around and sticks a finger in my hole. I gasp at the pinch, but push back against his long finger, feeling it probe deep inside me. Soon I feel two, then three fingers working in and out of me, and I decide I'm more than ready for his cock.

"I'm prepared," I tell him, and he smiles and nods as he pulls his fingers out of me. I then slowly lower myself onto his shaft, moaning as I sink lower, taking all of him in. I lean forward and lick his lips and he opens his mouth for me and our tongues duel. We kiss for a while and eventually I pull away from the kiss and lean back again, as I bounce up and down on his dick.

"Justin," he moans. "You feel so fucking good," he smiles. I smile back at him and nod as I continue to ride him and throw my head back with pleasure.

I watch him grab my cock and start stroking it, and feel myself getting close to climax. I start riding him faster, and I see some sweat from my forehead drop onto his chest. I lean forward and lick it off and then kiss Brian's lips.

"I'm close," I tell Brian.

"Me too," he answers, and then suddenly I feel my balls tighten and I'm cumming all over my chest and his hand. My anal walls clamp down on Brian's cock, and I hear him let out a loud groan. I collapse on top of him, breathless and exhausted. I was, after all, doing most of the work. Not that I'm complaining!

He's still inside of me, and kisses me tenderly. I smile against his mouth.

"I don't remember it feeling that good the first time," I tell him. He laughs.

"That's because it didn't," he says. He has a look of complete satisfaction on his face, and I wonder if my expression matches his.

I eventually let his cock slip out of me, and remove the condom, then toss it into the nearby trashcan. We snuggle against each other, not saying anything for a while, just enjoying the closeness of one another and listening to each other's breathing. I close my eyes and smile and think to myself: I'm in heaven.

"You look happy," he says, as if reading my thoughts.

"I am," I whisper.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Brian's POV

As I look down at Justin's sleepy face, I smile, noting how peaceful he looks. I've never seen him look this way before, and I have to say it makes me feel damn good knowing that I'm the reason for it.

"You look happy," I tell him.

"I am," he whispers. I smile and hug him closer to my body and kiss his lips.

"Justin? Can I ask you a personal question?" I ask softly. He looks at me questioningly and then sighs.

"Yeah," he says finally.

"Did... someone hurt you before? I mean... is that why you were so strict about not getting involved with people romantically - was it because someone in your past hurt you?" I ask.

This is something that we have never talked about. He has always been pretty vague when it came to any topic of discussion involving his past. I never asked too many questions or pushed for answers because I didn't want to upset him. Now though, things are different, and I'm hoping that he'll open himself up to me more.

"Brian..." he says in a slightly irritated tone.

"Please don't shut down on me now. I'm not asking for you to tell me your whole life story right now. I just want to know why it took us so long to get here, that's all," I explain.

He sighs and then turns to look at me.

"About four years ago I ended a relationship that up until the day it was over, I had thought was perfect - or pretty damn close to it," he tells me. He then sighs again and is quiet for a moment.

"And what happened?" I ask.

"Well, Ethan was a talented musician, and he landed himself an agent after winning this huge competition. That would have been a really good thing, except that his asshole agent told him that unless he stayed in the closet, he wouldn't represent him. No one could know that he was gay. At first Ethan turned him down, but then a few days later changed his mind and signed the papers. You see, Ethan had been poor all his life. He had a full scholarship to PIFA, but he barely had any money to support himself. He was tired of living that way."

"When he told me he signed the papers, I wasn't happy about it, but it was an incredible opportunity for him, so I supported him. When we went out in public or he had interviews, I had to pretend that I was his cousin. I wasn't allowed to go to any of his performances because his agent didn't want anyone to get suspicious."

Justin frowns and looks away, the pain in his eyes evident. Obviously this was something he didn't like thinking or talking about. I wait patiently for him to continue.

"So, there was this out of town performance that Ethan was really excited about. The publicity for it had been hyped up and a lot of important people would be there to see him play. Before he left, he mentioned that he wished that I could be there with him. I was his muse, you see. So at the last minute, I decided to borrow Daphne's car and drive up to see him and surprise him. After the show, he was talking to a bunch of people and I decided to keep my distance so he could do his thing. After a while though, he disappeared. Before he left for his trip, he had given me the name of the hotel he was staying at and the room number, so after waiting for a while, I just decided to go to his hotel. I figured he'd left already."

Here it comes. I can already see where this is going. This is the part where Justin gets his heart broken. My arms unconsciously tighten around him as I wait for the big "bang".

"I knocked on his door, and no one answered, so I knocked again, and then I heard Ethan's voice saying to hold on. He sounded really aggravated, and I started to wonder if maybe I had woken him up, except that it was only 10:00pm and he usually stayed up late. Suddenly, the door flings open and he's standing there with a towel around his waste and shouts, 'This better be good!' When he saw me standing there he was absolutely baffled. He was all flustered and stuttering and didn't seem as happy as he should have been to see me, so I asked him what was going on. And that's when I saw another guy walk up behind him. He was naked. The guy looked at me oddly and asked who I was."

Justin huffs as he relives the memory, and I start to massage his shoulder to help take some of the stress away. He relaxes into my hands, letting them work their magic.

"Anyway, I won't go into the ugly details about what happened next. I'll just say it wasn't good, and it was bad enough for me to feel that I could never trust relationships or lovers again. And that was when I started making rules to protect myself from getting hurt again."

I lean in and kiss my beautiful blond. I feel him kiss me back and I'm glad that talking about this hasn't made him pull away from me, emotionally or physically.

"I'm sorry he did that to you, Sunshine," I whisper. "You didn't deserve that, especially after everything you sacrificed to be with him," I tell him.

"The fucked up thing was, I should have seen it coming. I mean, I was so fucking caught up in all the sweet things he would say to me, and all of his romantic bullshit, that my judgment was clouded. He treated me like I was the most important person in his life, and I felt so special. After that happened I started to wonder if he had been cheating on me the whole time with a bunch of other people. He insists that he didn't, but I wasn't believing anything that mother fucker was saying after I caught him. It's a good thing I insisted on us using condoms even though we were together for a while," he says, and I agree with him.

"Smart boy," I tell him, ruffling his blond locks with my fingers. He smiles at me.

"I didn't get a 1500 on my SATs for nothing," he says.

"1500, really? I knew I picked a winner. My little genius," I said kissing his forehead. He laughs and then yawns.

"Are you tired?" I ask him.

He nods, his eyes already looking heavy already. "Yeah. It's been such a fucking long day. I'm so spent," he says, hugging me closer to him.

"Okay, let's go to sleep," I whisper.

He nods, and I see his lids already dropping. "Brian," he says softly.

"Hmm?"

"Tonight was amazing. Thank you," he says, already drifting off to sleep.

"No, Sunshine. Thank YOU. Thank you for saying yes," I tell him. I feel him snuggle up closer to me, and not too long after that I hear a soft snore. I smile and allow myself to fall into a satiated sleep as well.