Breaking The Rules

First Move

Brian's POV

I am already at Woody's sitting at the bar sipping on a Corona, when Justin walks in. He spots me right away and sits down in the barstool next to mine.

"Hey, friend," I say with a smile.

"Double Beam," he tells the bartender, and then lights a cigarette.

I looked at him and smile. "Must be serious," I say, taking a sip of my beer. I watch for Justin's reaction, and he just shakes his head.

"You have no fucking idea. What a day," he sighs, and takes a deep drag of his cigarette. The drink he ordered is set down in front of him and he gets his wallet out to pay, when I stop him.

"Put it on my tab, Jerry," I tell the bartender, and he nods. Justin frowns at me.

"This isn't a date. I can pay for my own drink," he says, rather testily.

"I know that. It was just a gesture. No need to make a fucking case of it. You can buy your own on the next round," I tell him, taking another swig of my beer.

"Whatever," Justin mumbles.

I roll my eyes at him and sigh. "Look, Justin. You called me. If you prefer to be alone, I'll be happy to leave so you can sulk in peace," I tell him and start to stand up from my stool. He looks alarmed and puts his hand on my arm.

"Wait," he says softly. His face looks troubled and I wonder what it is that has him so upset. "I didn't mean to be such an asshole. You're right. I called you," he says quietly, and seems embarrassed by his admission.

I relax into my seat again. "Do you want to talk about it?" I ask him. At first he looks away, looking a bit hesitant, and then nods, but not before downing his shot and waving to Jerry for another.

"I'd like to start my own tab," he tells Jerry, and looks over at me like he expects we might start to argue over it. When I don't say anything he looks relieved and crushes his cigarette butt into the near ashtray and lights another one. Chain smoking. He must be really stressed out. I wait for him to tell me what's on his mind.

"Well, it goes like this. My teenage sister, Molly, has decided recently that she wants to be a rebel and is driving my mother up the wall, and basically doing whatever she can to get into trouble. My mother threatened to send her to live with my homophobic asshole father, and so then she begged me to let her stay with me for a little while. So guess what? Now I have a 16 year old living with me, and I can only hope that she doesn't decide to test me out and make me regret my decision," he says. He exhales as if everything he just told me was said in one breath.

"I commend you for your bravery on this one," I say, smiling. He lets out a little laugh, but then gets a serious look on his face.

"I just didn't want her to go to my fucking father's house. He's such a prick. He kicked my ass out when I was 17, because he couldn't stand living with a fag. He cheated on my Mom for years with his bitch secretary, and now he's living with her. Molly doesn't want to stay with them, and I don't blame her. I had to do something. So I told my Mom that I would let Molly stay with me for a couple of weeks to give them some space, and then we'd go from there."

I watch as he downs his next shot. "Maybe you should slow down on those. I mean, you don't want to come home drunk. The last thing you need is for your sister to throw it in your face later. How you did it, so why can't she, kind of a thing," I tell him.

He looks like he's going to protest, but then his face softens and he nods.

"Yeah, as much as I don't want to admit it, you have a good point," Justin tells me. "So what do you think?" he then asks.

"I wasn't sure whether you just wanted me to listen or if you actually wanted any input from my end," I tell him.

"Well I wouldn't have asked you what you thought if I didn't want to know," he says.

"I think you love your sister very much. You were just trying to protect her. Are you afraid that you won't be able to fix her and might be the cause of her having to live with your father," I ask him. He nods slightly.

"Did I do the right thing? I mean what if when she goes back to my Mom's house she goes downhill again and has to go live with him anyway? I'll feel like such a shit," he says sighing.

"Why don't you just take it one day at a time. She just came to your place tonight. She might be totally tame in your custody. My guess is that she respects you a lot, enough to not ruin her welcome and keep her relationship with you on good terms. My suggestion is to just give it time, and then see how it goes. Who knows, maybe you'll want her to stick around a while longer," I tell him and stub out my cigarette. He nods at me like he is thinking about what I said and letting it register.

"Thanks," he smiles, and I can see that it is genuine. That is the smile that I so adoringly loved the night I met him. I want to reach out and stroke his cheek, but I don't want him to get the wrong idea. I gave him my word that we would be friends with no strings attached.

"Hey, that's what friends are for, right?" I tell him and he smirks.

"So how was your day? Anything you feel the need to get of your chest?" he asks.

I shrug at him and take a drag, contemplating on whether I should tell him what had happened with Jack. Fuck it. We both needed someone to talk to, so why not?

"Well, actually my father stopped in today shortly after my son and I came back from the park," I tell him. He gives me a look like he's not sure whether that's a good or bad thing.

"What happened?" he asks quietly.

"He came to tell me that my mother's drinking has gotten worse and that he threatened to leave her. He was really upset about it. My mom's been an alcoholic for many years. Her sister died in a car accident six months ago and now her drinking is the worst it's ever been," I tell him, finishing off my beer.

"Wow, that's tough," Justin says.

I nod. "Yeah. But it's really tough on Jack. He loves her so much, you know? He wants her to get help, but she refuses. He's the one who has to live with her and see her falling apart in front of his own eyes. I mean, it would be bad sometimes when I was a kid, but most of the time she would eventually bounce back and would be okay. She's not bouncing back this time. She's just getting worse." He looks at me like he's unsure of what to say.

"You don't have to say anything, Justin. I do feel better just talking about it. That's enough for me," I assure him with a small smile. He smiles back, and to my surprise, puts his hand on my shoulder. I feel my body temperature rise from the physical contact, and my heart beat starts to beat faster. I can't deny the strong attraction I have to Justin. I know that he is scared, though. Something in his past scared him away from relationships. I am willing to wait it out. Hopefully he won't keep me waiting long.

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Justin's POV

Without even thinking about it, I put my hand on Brian's shoulder. He looks a little surprised, but happy that I did so. I decide that this is probably a good time to call it a night.

"I should get back to Molly," I tell him.

He nods at me, and I can tell he wants me to stay longer, and if I could be totally honest with myself, I'd admit that I feel the same way. I throw some bills on the table.

"Can you drive? I can give you a ride home," he offers.

"No, that's okay, I'm fine. I usually consume a lot more alcohol than this. Besides, I don't live far," I say. I pause for a moment before speaking up again. "Brian, thanks for meeting me here. And for listening," I tell him.

"Any time," he says and puts his hand over mine and squeezes it affectionately, and I feel an electric jolt when his hand touches my own. He looks at me in a way that makes me want to devour his lips and then fuck him into the mattress. Shit, I've gotta get out of here before I just tell him, 'fuck this friendship shit,' and jump into his lap.

"I'll see you," I say, and start to head out, and though I know I shouldn't, as I open the door to leave, I turn around to look at him one more time. He's now facing the bar again, and orders another drink. I stand there and just watch him for a moment, when he suddenly turns his head around, and our eyes meet. Embarrassed that he caught me watching him, I look away quickly.

Why am I still here? I immediately turn and go out the door to head straight home.

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It's been two weeks since the chaotic day that Molly moved in. Since then, things have actually been a lot better. Molly has behaved herself as she promised. It took me a little while to get used to her living in my apartment, but I actually have come to like having her around. She's keeps things lively, cleans up after herself, and doesn't bother me when I'm busy with my painting. It's also nice to have someone to eat meals with. I was worried that she might interfere with my day-to-day activities somehow, but so far everything has been fine. I am thinking about extending her trial stay, if she wants to, that is. Brian was right. I don't mind her being here so much.

Speaking of the devil, Brian and I have been seeing a lot of each other. Don't mistake what I'm saying. We've been seeing a lot of each other in a friendly way. We've gotten together several times to play pool, or just hang out. We've had lunch together a couple of times, and he even came over one night for pizza and to meet Molly. She loved him right away of course, and after he left, she hounded me about why he wasn't my boyfriend when he obviously liked me. She's too smart for her own good.

I've met Brian's friends, and they're all pretty nice. They have accepted me into their little group effortlessly. Brian's best friend, Michael was a little weary of me at first, but soon warmed up some when he realized that I wasn't out to hurt his friend. He's actually a pretty cool guy. A little whiny at times, but nevertheless, a good guy.

I've also had the chance to get to know Gus better. He's such a sweet kid. I can't believe how much of a softy I'm turning out to be. I have done a few sketches of him, and he had the biggest smile on his face when I gave him one of them. Brian told me that Lindsay framed it and hung it up in his room.

The more time Brian and I spend together, the more I like him. I'm pretty sure he feels the same way. Neither of us have crossed any boundaries. The fact that he has kept true to his word about keeping it strictly "friendly" is both admirable and annoying. If he made a move on me first then it would get me off the hook, and I wouldn't have to worry about being the one to break my own rules. I could always say that I was powerless against his charm. I mean really, who would be crazy enough to turn down Brian?

The sexual chemistry is there. There have been a couple of times when I just about lose it when he's near me. Last Saturday we took Gus out for ice cream, and all I could do was watch Brian's tongue as it darted out and licked his nonfat vanilla frozen yogurt from it's cone, occasionally catching the stray drips running down the side of his hand. I got hard just watching him and his tongue, and immediately started fantasizing about what I wanted that talented tongue to do to me. I imagined it ice cold and circling my nipples, and then dragging it down my body until he reached my cock.

When he caught my lustful look, he just smiled. He didn't say anything about it. He promised before that unless I wanted more from him, then he wouldn't cross the line. I'm getting dangerously close to letting myself give him a chance at something more. I must be crazy.

Tonight is my opening for my show at Lindsay's gallery. She's been such a great help in organizing everything. She's really good at what she does. I stopped by earlier to see how everything looked, and was very pleased with how everything looked.

I always get a little nervous before a show, but this time I'm even more so because Brian will be there. He doesn't know it, but I added a last minute piece to my show, starring none other than the infamous sexy Brian Kinney, himself. I painted it a few days after we met. I couldn't help it. I debated on whether or not to put it in my show, but after Daphne's insistence and thinking it over, I went ahead and put it in. Lindsay really raved about it when she saw it and said she was so glad that I decided to show it. I'm not sure how Brian will react when he sees it. I hope he doesn't mind.

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Brian's POV

I'm running a little late for Justin's show. I know how important this is for Justin, and I want to be there to support him. Unfortunately, I had a last minute meeting at Kinnetic that went a little longer than I had expected. I really had to rush home to shower and change in order to make it to the gallery to be in the time frame of "fashionably late".

I walk into the gallery, which seems to be packed full. I immediately start looking around for a familiar blond head. I spot Michael and Ben who are looking at one of the paintings, and walk over to them. Michael smiles when he sees me.

"Hey, Brian, you made it," he says. Ben smiles at me and then he and Michael share a look. I wonder what is going on.

"Yeah, just barely. Have you seen the artist?" I ask them, looking around the room.

"Yeah, earlier. He was looking for you. You know, he's really talented," Michael says with an impressed look, as he stares at the painting in front of him. It's a shadowy human figure with swirls of dark colors of blue, black and brown surrounding it. The use of colors are mesmerizing to look at, and there is a great sadness to the piece.

"I know," I tell him, as I smile.

"You know you should really start back over there, and work your way to the end. There is a painting down there that I think you'll find most interesting," he says, cryptically.

"I'm sure they're all interesting. I was going to try to find Justin first, but I don't see him anywhere. I suppose I'll just look at his work and then try to find him later," I say. Michael nods and then he and Ben walk towards the next piece of art.

I go to the first painting that is displayed and stare at it in amazement. I work my way through each one, paying close attention to the detail and colors, and try to analyze the meanings in them, impressed more and more by each one I see. But it isn't until I come across one particular piece of art that I really feel my heart try to leap out of my chest.

It's a painting of me dancing at Babylon. It shows my tall lean body. I'm wearing my black wife beater and jeans. There are colors of blue, red and yellow surrounding me, from the lights on the dance floor. I'm smiling, and my sparkled hazel eyes are lustful looking. The details of my face and body are just amazing. I look absolutely beautiful. Is this really how he saw me on that night? Is this how he sees me now?

I continue staring at the painting, and the more I look at it, the more little details I notice. There are shadowy figures surrounding me that are kind of blurry, like out of focus. In other words, the artist wanted to make it known that his attention was fixated on me and nothing else. All the other people on the dance floor were just blurs; moving shadowy figures. I can't tear my eyes away from the painting.

"You're not upset are you?" I hear a voice say directly behind me, and know instantly who it is. I turn to see Justin looking at me nervously. He looks so fucking hot. He's wearing white cargo pants, with a white collared long sleeve dress shirt, and a light powder blue sweater vest over it. I realize he's still staring at me like he's afraid I'm going to freak out on him, so I smile at him to put him at ease.

"Of course not. Justin... this is amazing. Truly amazing," I tell him, sincerely. He looks so relieved that I said that, and I can see the tension start to melt away in his face.

"I was a little nervous about how you would react," he admits.

"It's not sold yet, is it?" I ask. Justin shakes his head.

"No. One guy seemed interested in buying it, but then decided to go with a different one," Justin says.

"I'm buying it," I tell him.

"No, Brian. I'm not going to sell it to you. It's yours if you want it, but I don't want your money," he tells me. I roll my eyes at him.

"I'm a customer, Justin. Let me pay you for it," I insist. He just shakes his head at me.

"I don't care about the money, Brian. You know that I don't need it. I have plenty. Please. I want you to have it," he says, and looks into my eyes, and I feel myself caving. Then something comes over me and I make a bold move.

"Okay, on one condition," I tell him.

"And what would that be?" he asks with a small smile.

"That you allow me to thank you properly," I say in a low voice, and caress his cheek affectionately, like I've been wanting to do for what seems like forever now. He stares into my eyes, and I see a series of emotions cross his face... Fear. Uncertainty. Hope. Lust.

I stare at him and wait for his permission to proceed.

"Okay," he whispers so softly that if I couldn't see his lips moving I'd have no clue he said anything at all. I smile at him, happy that he didn't reject me.

I lean in close to his face, and touch his lips with mine very softly. I part his lips with my tongue and slide it inside his waiting mouth, seeking his. I deepen the kiss, and our tongues start a slow and sensual dance together. I feel him kissing me back eagerly and passionately as it grows more intense.

We are oblivious to anyone around us. It's as if we're the only ones in the room. My heart is beating so fast and it's so loud that it's pounding in my ears. My head is dizzy and my body feels like it could take on a mind of its own, and I know that if I don't stop this kiss soon I will surly lose it. Finally, I reluctantly pull away from him, and he's staring up at me with a look I can't place. He looks as if he wants to say something but the words won't come out. I put my finger to his lips, so as to keep him from speaking just yet.

"Justin, I know that we agreed that we would be friends, unless you wanted more. If friendship is really what you want, I will respect that. I just wanted you to know that I really care about you. You are a wonderful, sexy, confusing, troubled, talented, man, and I like you a lot. I think we would be great together, and I would really like for you to reconsider your place in my life, as not only a friend, but as your lover - partner," I tell him.

Wow. I didn't even expect to make a speech like that. It just fell right out of my mouth. He's looking at me with a shocked face, and his mouth is open, but still he says nothing.

"You don't have to answer me right now. Take some time and think about it. That's all I ask. In the meantime, you know my number and where I live. Whatever you decide, I will respect. It's your call," I tell him. His eyes are now a bit misty. He opens his mouth again, but this time he finally speaks.

"All right. I'll let you know," he says quietly. I give him a warm smile and with my thumb, I wipe away the wetness that is resting right under his eyes.

"Thank you. Now, I'm going to look at the rest of your art, and then I'm going back to my loft. Take as much time as you need to make your decision, because whatever you decide, I want you to be sure." I kiss him on the cheek, and make my way over to the portrait next to mine.

I'm trying to keep myself calm and collected, but my head is swimming from the events that have just happened. I hope that I didn't make a mistake.

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Justin's POV

This night started out great for me. The show has been going really well. It's been a full house, and everyone seems to really like my work. My friends and family all showed up to support me, except of course my asshole father, and his skanky barbie-bitch girlfriend, as Molly likes to call her. Frankly, I'm glad they didn't come. It made my evening a lot less tense knowing that my mother and sister wouldn't have to see him and deal with his shit. Things seem to be better between Mom and Molly. I saw the two of them smiling and laughing together, and I even saw them hug.

Even Brian's friends showed up tonight. I'm not sure whether I can consider them my friends yet. It was very nice of them to come though, and I'm glad they did.

Brian was late. Briefly, I was afraid that he might not show up, but then my logical mind told me that he would never leave me hanging like that. I was very nervous about him seeing his painting, and I really just wanted him to get here already and see it so that it was done and over with and I didn't have to worry about it anymore.

Then he showed up. I watched him as he studied each painting, and got more nervous, the closer he got to the one of himself. When he finally reached it, I watched his expression and had no idea what was going through his mind. I gave him a minute and finally walked over to him to face the music.

Then... Uh, what the fuck just happened here? One minute we're talking about the painting I did of him and arguing about payment, and the next we're in a lip lock so intense that I start to lose myself to the point that I forget who I am, where I am, and everything else around me. All I could comprehend at that moment was Brian's amazing full lips, tongue, and hot mouth all over mine.

I'm not sure I've ever experienced a kiss like that before. Not even with Ethan, and I was in love with the asshole.

And the shock didn't end there. I never expected him to just straight out tell me that he wants us to be lovers... partners. I mean, it hasn't gone unnoticed by me that he hasn't lost interest after these past weeks we've spent together, even though I said I wanted to only be friends. And by the way he kissed me, I can only guess how difficult it was for him to hold himself back from doing just that, this whole time. He was so passionate, yet urgent. I thought he might try to swallow me whole. It was like he couldn't get enough of me. I briefly wondered if he was going to fuck me right there on the floor, in the gallery, and I can't say that I wouldn't have let him.

So, what the fuck am I going to do? There's no doubt about it, I have feelings for him, and I know he knows that. I just don't know if I can handle that. Handle him. A relationship. Love. An awful good those fucking rules did me! I slipped. I grew weak. I was duped. Yeah, I bet Brian knew what he was doing the minute he suggested the friendship bullshit. The way he insisted that he would never cross any lines. He fucking manipulated this whole thing. That has to be it. He MADE me fall for him. How did I end up here? Everything was just fine before he came along. Now I'm just fucked, and not in a positive life-affirming way.

I don't know if I can do it. I don't think I could take it again if Brian were to hurt me as badly or worse than Ethan did. Even though I don't think Brian would hurt me on purpose, it could still happen. I never thought Ethan would hurt me like he did. I thought I knew him well enough to be able to trust him and love him. Man did I feel like an ass in the end.

My thoughts are interrupted when I hear Daphne calling my name and tapping me on the shoulder.

"Justin... is everything okay?" she asks.

"Um, yes. No. I don't know?" It came out like a question. As if she could fucking give me an answer to how I'm feeling.

"I didn't think you were into public displays of affection," she says with an eyebrow raised and small smile.

"Huh?" I ask. I'm still having trouble coming back to the real world.

"You and Brian. You guys were full on making out right here in front of the painting you did of him. Everyone saw you. It was hot. You should have seen your Mom's face," Daphne laughs.

"Shit," I say, covering my face with my hands.

"It was even better when Molly started cheering, 'Go Justin!'" Daphne laughs again. I'm not laughing at all. I want to crawl into a hole and hibernate until next Spring.

"Fuck me," I mumble.

"Looks like you were well on your way to doing that a little while ago," she smirks. She looks around the room briefly. "Speaking of, where's Brian?" she asks.

"I guess he left," I tell her. She frowns at me.

"Am I missing something here?" She asks with a confused look. I look away from her and then sigh. Fuck it.

"Brian just told me that he wants us to be lovers... partners," I whisper, so no one will hear.

"Yeah, like I didn't see that coming," she rolled her eyes. "Soooo, why are you still here and not getting your brains fucked out by him as we speak?" she asks.

"Because I have to think about it," I tell her. She looks at me as if I've grown another head.

"What's to think about, Justin? Brian is perfect. I can't think of one single reason why he wouldn't be good for you. You know he is. Stop letting what that asshole, Ethan, did to you interfere with your happiness, Jus. If you do, then he wins. It happened years ago, and now it's time to move on. Give Brian a chance to make you happy. You deserve it, you know." She looks at me with love that only a best friend can know.

Everything she just said makes perfect sense. I can't help but have my doubts though. I've been doing it for so long, it's hard to just change. I haven't trusted anyone other than few close people to me, in a very long time.

I sigh, and it is then, that I know what I have to do. "Thank, Daph," I smile at her and kiss her cheek.

"No need to thank me. Just give me the juicy details later," she says with a devilish smile. I laugh, and then turn to leave. I know that I should really say good bye to some people first, but really, there is only one person that I want to see right now. I jump into my Jeep and head straight for the loft.