Not So Zen Ben

Chapter 8

"Hey, wake up, sleepyhead," JR said gently giving Jacqueline a little nudge.

"Hm, what?  Where am I?" Jacqueline mumbled as she came around.

"We both dozed off.  We're in the clearing by the Thinking Rock."

"Oh, right, yeah, we had a picnic."

JR smiled.  "We certainly did, and you even enjoyed it."

"I believe I did," Jacqueline said with a smile.  "What time is it?"

JR pulled her phone from the basket.  "It's after two. I think we should get you home."

"I guess I was really tired," Jacqueline said as she pushed herself up gently to a sitting position.

"Me too," JR agreed standing up and helping Jacqueline to stand.  "This whole thing has taken its toll on us."

"Yeah," Jacqueline concurred.

JR folded the blanket and put it in the basket.  She linked her arm through Jacqueline's just to be sure that her lover was steady on her feet.  "You okay to go?" she asked.

"Yeah."

They had barely reached the start of the path back to the lane when they heard voices up ahead.

"Wonder who that is?" JR mused.

They stopped and waited as Patrick, Peter and someone JR thought she vaguely remembered came into view.

"Hey, JR," Patrick said as he noticed the two girls.  "We're not interrupting you, are we?" Patrick asked, knowing that when people were at the Thinking Rock, they might not want anyone else to join them.

"We were just heading back to the B&B," JR told him.

"How are you?" Patrick asked Jacqueline.  "Is your head any better?"

"A little better every day," Jacqueline replied.

"Good," Patrick said.  "Do you remember Chet, JR?"

"Right, Chet," JR repeated.  "I thought you looked familiar.  You were at a Labor Day get-together a few years ago."

"Yeah," Chet responded, not really remembering this girl.  He had met so many people that day.

"Chet goes to private school," Patrick informed them.  "He's home for a while this summer."

"Is that right?" JR said.  She vaguely remembered that Bree hadn't liked Chet very much.  He still seemed a little stand-offish.  "We need to get out of the sun," she said quickly as she pulled Jacqueline gently into the path.  "See you later, Peter."

"Okay," Peter replied.  He hadn't been sure that JR and her girlfriend had even seen him.  He was still very quiet most of the time.

"So that's Debbie's latest project," Jacqueline commented as they walked along the path.

"Be nice," JR warned.

"I'm always nice."

JR coughed knowingly.  "We should invite Grandma Deb, Carl and Peter for dinner one night," JR said thoughtfully as they entered the lane and headed for the B&B.  "I've never gotten to know Peter."

"Maybe when I'm a little stronger," Jacqueline said in her most pathetic voice.

JR snorted.  "Yeah, stronger."

*****

"So who's she to you?" Chet asked Patrick as the boys made their way to the Thinking Rock.

"JR?  I don't think she's anything to me, except as a friend."

"She's not related to you?"

"No, she's Michael's daughter."

"Michael's the one who has that monster log cabin, right?" Chet asked.

"Yeah, him and Ben.  Ben's staying here for the summer, but Michael is back in Pittsburgh.  He has a comic book store there."

"She's the one who helps at the comic book store?"

"Yes, she plans to take it over when her father retires."

"Hmpph," Chet replied.

"What?  She likes working there."

"That's not much of an ambition in life," Chet told him.

"Who says?" Peter asked.  He had been listening to all this shit from Chet, and he had finally had enough.

Chet studied the young man he had just met a bit before.  He apparently was living with someone on the lane.  He was a misfit, at least that's what Chet would call him, even though Patrick had tried to make it seem like it was a good thing that this kid had to be taken in by strangers.  "It's just an observation," Chet said.  "She seems like a smart girl.  I would have thought she'd go to university."

"Maybe university isn't for everyone," Peter said petulantly, knowing that he would probably never get the opportunity to go.

"I guess not," Chet agreed.

"Hey, I thought we were going to go for a dip," Patrick interrupted.  He was afraid Chet would make a comment about JR not being smart enough to go to university.  He didn't want Chet and Peter to get into it.  He stripped off his shorts to reveal his swimsuit and headed for the stream.

"We're swimming in that?" Chet asked.

"Yeah, what did you think when I brought you through the woods?"

"I thought maybe there was a pool out here."

"There's a shallow pool in the stream up there," Patrick said pointing just upstream from the Thinking Rock."

"Are there fish and other ... things in there?" Chet asked with apprehension.

"I've never seen any," Patrick said.

Peter peeled off his shorts and walked to the edge of the stream.  "Nothing's going to bite your toe off," he told Chet before he waded into the water.  "The water's great," he said as he sat down in the gentle current.  "Nice and cool."

"Come on," Patrick said as he joined Peter in the water.

Chet slowly took off his shorts.  He wasn't so sure about this stream thing.  He liked swimming in pools where you could see the bottom and the sides and everything.  He stuck his toe in the stream hoping Peter was right, and nothing would bite it off.  When nothing happened he waded in a little farther.

"Come, sit with us," Patrick said to Chet.  "The water feels great when it runs over your body."  He leaned back into the gentle current of the stream and let out an audible 'ah'.

Chet ventured into the stream and carefully sat down beside Patrick.  The cool water did feel nice as it flowed over his legs and around his butt.

"Lean back," said Patrick.  "That way you get the cool water on your shoulders and back."

Chet obliged.  He had to admit the whole experience was pretty good.  He just hoped he wasn't getting leeches up his ass.

The boys enjoyed the water, just sitting and occasionally splashing each other.  They talked and laughed, cracking jokes.  Peter even contributed once or twice.  He still felt that Chet looked down on him, but he managed not to get too upset about it.  After about half an hour in the stream, they dried off lying on the Thinking Rock.  It was a good afternoon.

About an hour later Patrick said goodbye to Chet when Chet's dad picked him up in his big Mercedes.  Peter had enjoyed lemonade with them in the sun porch, but he was ready to go home.  As much as he liked Patrick, he wasn't ready to spend a whole day with anybody.  He needed some time alone.

"Are you coming to dinner?" Patrick called after him as Peter started down the lane.

"I don't know," Peter said.  "I'll talk to Debbie."

"Okay," Patrick said as he watched Peter walk away.  He felt like the whole time with Chet had been a silent battle between Chet and Peter.  Even though Patrick liked Chet, he would be spending a lot more time with Peter on the lane, and he didn't want things to be weird between them.  Shaking his head, he started around the conjoined cottages to the swing.  Maybe a quick ride on the swing would clear his head and make things seem better.  He didn't think he wanted to go back to the Thinking Rock.  The swing would have to do.

***** 

 “Um, knock, knock,” Ben quietly called out as he slowly entered the sun porch of the conjoined cottages.

“Hey, Ben,” Justin replied sweetly as he secured his latest work to one of the pulleys.  After checking then rechecking the clamps, he slowly raised the painting to the rafters.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever witnessed you do that before,” Ben stated with awe.  “I mean I’ve seen your work hundreds of times up there,” Ben said as he pointed up.  “But I’ve never actually watched how you did it.  That’s truly ingenious.”

“John’s the genius, but you don’t have to butter me up, you know,” Justin said as he began to make order out of the chaos by cleaning up all of his painting paraphernalia.

“I, uh, I know,” Ben stuttered.  He had no idea what to say or how to say it.  Ben felt foolish and was beginning to sweat.  Just then Brian rounded the spiral staircase making Ben jump.

“Chill, Professor, we’re good,” Brian stated as he went to Justin’s side to gently buss his temple.  Justin looked up and gave Brian a beatific smile.

“I want to apologize to both of you.  I was out of line.  I don’t know what’s gotten into me,” Ben said with sadness and frustration.

“Ben,” Justin began, “it’s very simple, you miss Michael.”  Justin told him this in a reasonable tone.

“Out of the mouth of Sunshine,” Brian quipped with that know-it-all grin of his.  “He’s right.”

“I’m always right,” Justin said as he led both men into the kitchen.

Brian took out a few beers from the refrigerator, twisting off the caps then offering one to Ben.  Ben graciously accepted the cold brew, took a good long pull before slumping into the nearest chair.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?”  Ben put it out there to no one in particular.  He stared at the bottle in his hand then looked up when no one spoke.  “I miss him so much but I don’t think I can call him just yet.”

“Why?” Justin gently asked.

“Because I’m selfish,” Ben whispered sadly as he shook his head.

“Why do you say that?” Justin gingerly urged Ben.

“God, I love him so much, but you don’t know how exhausting Michael can be!” Ben admitted.

“Preaching to the choir, Prof,” Brian snarked. 

“Brian,” Justin admonished then glared at Brian who immediately shut up then concentrated on his beer.

“He’s right, though.  I’ve known from almost the moment I met Michael that he was going to be a challenge to live with.  In those early days, I didn’t think I’d live long enough to be able to complain about him.  I was grateful for each day; I still am.” 

Justin jumped up from his chair to give Ben a strong hug; he readily accepted the contact.  Justin’s sturdy body reminded Ben of Michael.  Ben closed his eyes as he felt himself relax into Justin’s embrace.  After several moments when Ben realized just who was in his arms his eyes snapped open.  He looked up at Brian who merely smirked then stealthily left the kitchen leaving Ben to Justin’s ministrations.

“Am I in trouble again?” Ben asked as he released Justin and they both sat down.

“No, of course not, but we are concerned.  First, tell me honestly, are you okay?  Physically, I mean.”

“I’m fine.  I recently saw my doctor and all things considered, he says I’m in excellent health.  My viral load remains undetectable and I’m still able to take only one pill a day,” Ben reassured his friend.  He was graced with a sunny smile.

“What are you going to do?”

“About Michael, I have no clue but if I have your permission, I’d really like to work on my book,” Ben said, pleading with his eyes.

“You have it,” Justin assured Ben.

“And Brian, do you think he’ll ever forgive me for acting…”

“Like an ass?” Brian supplied as he strolled back into the kitchen.  Ben stiffened.  “Easy, Professor, I said we’re good.  If this were an alternate reality, I’d have you kissing my ass.  Better yet, I’d just have you.  But since we’re living in the here and now and as long as all the subjects in your book give you written consent, including the kids, you have my permission to write your wittle book.”

“Thank you, Brian.”

“Don’t thank me, thank our little Mary Sunshine.  Just keep those big mitts of yours to yourself.”  His little Mary Sunshine rolled his eyes.

“Go away, Brian, you’re being an ass.  Better yet, go review a contract or something.”

“Yes, dear,” Brian squeaked as he left the kitchen.

“And you think you’re exhausted!” Justin exclaimed with a huff, making Ben laugh.

*****

A quick knock on the B&B door alerted the girls that someone was outside.  Before either of them could get up from their lounges on the back deck, the door opened and Debbie came barreling in.

"JR," she shouted.

"Out here," JR replied giving her head a shake and looking at Jacqueline who merely shrugged.

"Hi, sweetheart," Debbie said as she joined the girls on the back patio.  "Just wanted to invite you two for dinner tonight.  I think it would be great for you to spend some time with us and Peter.  You've hardly seen him."

"I was thinking the same thing," JR said with a smile, "but maybe not tonight."

"Why not tonight?" Debbie demanded with a frown.

"I took Jacqueline to the Thinking Rock this afternoon.  I think she overdid it a bit.  I don't want her to get overtired."

"Oh?  Still having headaches?" Debbie asked as she remembered what had happened to the girl.  "I thought you were feeling better."

"I am, just not a hundred percent."

"Are you two staying for a few more days?"

"Yes," JR replied.  "I want Jacqueline back to normal before we go back to Pittsburgh."

"Okay, let me know when you're ready for a dinner."

"Thanks, Grandma," JR said standing up and giving Debbie a warm hug.  "I'll walk you out."

Debbie gave JR a look, but didn't protest.  "Is she really okay?" Debbie asked when they reached the front door and were out of earshot of Jacqueline.

"She's all right, but she needs to be careful and not overdo it."

"And I'm a bit hard to take," Debbie said with a laugh.

"Grandma!  It's just that it takes a lot out of her to..."

"Be nice for a long time."

JR grinned.  "Got it in one," she admitted.

"Let me know when you're ready to come to dinner."

"Will do," JR said before closing the door on her grandmother.

*****

“So what do you think?” Ray asked Gus as they were leaving Kinnetik North for the evening.

“About what?”

“Shelly.”

“What about her?” Gus asked making Ray sigh.

“What do you think about her ideas, her decisions, her business savvy?” Ray asked, his voice growing louder with each question.  Gus pulled their car over to give Ray his full attention.

“You want to know what I really think?” Gus asked.  Ray nodded but wasn’t sure if he was going to like the answer.  “Shelly certainly knows the market.  I know she didn’t start out in advertising but she’s studying everything and anything she can get her hands on to educate herself.  She’s also studying the workings of each Kinnetik branch.”

“How do you know all this?”

“I asked and I also observed; something as a lawyer you should be good at.”  Gus gave Ray a look.  “Ray, Shelly grew up in Toronto; she knows the culture and the businesses here.  She also doesn’t intimidate the ad execs, and her common sense more than makes up for the fact that she doesn’t know a thing about art.” 

Ray pondered the facts as Gus laid them all out.  “What do you mean she doesn’t intimidate the ad execs?”  Gus rolled his eyes at Ray.  Ray shrugged his shoulders.

“Mama is scarier than shit; Cynthia reminds them of my dad, and my dad is Brian Kinney, for fucks sake!  The only ones they’re not intimidated by are you and Ted.  Although, I personally think we all should be a little scared of Uncle Ted.  When he thinks a branch isn’t pulling their weight, oh boy can he get upset.”  The boys chuckled at the thought of Ted flying into a rampage over the bottom line.

“Why would the staff be afraid of you?” Ray asked his sweet, loveable, totally unintimidating boyfriend. 

Gus closed his eyes for a moment to compose himself.  When he opened them he gave Ray the full blown Brian Kinney glare of death, arched eyebrow included.

“Whoa!  Stay back!” Ray said as he raised his hands, crossing his index fingers as if to ward off a vampire.  Gus just shook his head.  “I get it.  I get it.  Baby Brian in the making.”

Gus put the car in gear to continue their drive home.

“How much longer will we stay?” Ray asked.

“Not much longer.  Pop wants us to firm up that contract with Waldon Industries before we go.”

“Isn’t that the one Bree had a hand in?”

“Yup!” Gus said with pride.  “She was just a kid.”

“She still is a kid.”

“Don’t let her hear you say that,” Gus warned.

“Are you kidding, I may be crazy but I’m not stupid,” Ray professed.  “What if Waldon wants to talk to Bree?”

“We can do a web conference if necessary.”  Ray nodded in agreement.  “But to answer your original question, I’d like to go to London soon.  The last time I talked to Shane he told me his friend Pierre is very interested in forming a partnership between his company and Isles.  That connection will help solidify our European contracts.”

“So Paris, here we come?” Ray said with a broad smile. 

Gus mirrored his smile as he murmured, “Paris.” 

 Gus parked the car close to the apartment.  The boys had planned on a quiet dinner together and then a not so quiet evening to follow.

*****

A little after nine o'clock JR knocked on the door of the log cabin.  It was quickly opened by Ben.  He gave his daughter a warm hug and ushered her into the expansive living room.

"I was starting to think you might not come," Ben said softly.

"I told you I'd be here, and I keep my word," JR declared.

"I know, sweetheart.  Would you like a glass of wine?"

"I'd love a glass of white, please," JR replied.  She sat down while Ben went to the kitchen to get them each a glass of white wine.  "You don't usually drink," JR observed. 

"I have a beer every now and then, and this seems like a good idea at the moment," Ben said with a sigh.  He took a drink of his wine.

"Are you worried about you and Dad?" JR asked with a frown.

"Of course I am.  I hate being separated from Michael, and we haven't even talked since..."

"Since his ultimatum," JR supplied when Ben hesitated to complete his statement.

"I don't understand why he can't give a little," Ben replied shaking his head.

"He doesn't like to admit that he's wrong."

"Don't I know it."

"And he is wrong," JR stated.

"You think he's wrong?"

"I do."

"Could you tell him that?" Ben asked with a rueful smile.

"I have."

"Really?"

"Yes, really, but he isn't willing to admit that he might be wrong."

"What can I do?" Ben asked.  "I'm at my wit's end."

JR looked at him thoughtfully for several seconds.  "Call him," she said finally.

"Why should I be the one to call?" Ben asked surprised at JR's suggestion.

"You shouldn't be the one, but I don't think he's going to do it."

Ben shook his head.  "I don't want to give in this time."

"I'm not saying you should give in.  In fact, I'd say the exact opposite.  But I don't think he's going to call you.  You know how stubborn he can be."

"Yeah, I do."

"So, if you called it would open up the lines of communication.  You don't have to go back to Pittsburgh, just tell him that you miss him."

"You think that will help?"

"It's the only plan I can think of."

Ben drew in a breath.  "I guess I could give it a try," Ben said reluctantly.

*****

Back in Pittsburgh Michael walked through his front door.  He had gotten a late shipment of comics plus the action figures that went with them.  He was tired from uncrating the boxes, arranging comics, and the toys.  His storeroom looked like a disaster area but the comics looked great in their racks.  Michael decided to handle the empty cartons in the morning.

The house was dark except for one small lamp in the living room.  Michael hated coming home to a dark and quiet house.  He missed Ben so much but was too stubborn to call him.  Michael couldn’t understand why everyone thought he was wrong.  After all Ben did leave him, right?

Michael made himself a small sandwich, poured himself a glass of milk then ate his sandwich in the kitchen with only his lonely thoughts for company.  When he was finished he cleaned up then went to bed.

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