Not So Zen Ben

 

Chapter 6

 

 

 

Brian walked out of the sun porch and halted.  He looked around the yard at his flowers which were flourishing even in the hot summer weather.  He thought about doing some weeding, but the gardens didn't really need it for a couple of days.  He needed to find something else to do, something that would take his mind off what was bothering him.

Maybe he could start a new garden back by the Wendy house, or maybe take out some of the hostas and replace them with something like roses that required much more care.  Brian snorted at that ludicrous idea.  He didn't really need more flowerbeds to tend or less hardy plants that would probably die on him anyway.  He just needed something useful to do at the moment.

Brian thought about going to the greenhouse, but there really wasn't much that needed doing in there either. 

Beau bounded up and nuzzled his hand.

"What's up, big guy?" Brian asked him giving the big dog a rub.

Beau looked at him quizzically and let out a little woof.

"Are you trying to tell me something?"

Beau studied Brian for a moment and then bounded toward the Wendy house and the path that led to the stream.

"Hm," Brian said, "the Thinking Rock.  Not a bad idea, big guy."

Brian followed Beau who had already started down the path.  It was midmorning and the sun hadn't reached its height.  It was cool walking through the trees that lined the path.  When Brian entered the clearing near the stream, he saw that the Thinking Rock was already occupied.  Brian stopped in his tracks.  He never liked to disturb anyone who was "thinking" or just enjoying the peace and quiet.

However, Beau had no such reservations.  He knew that anyone on the Thinking Rock usually liked to run their hands through his fur while they were doing their thinking.  He quickly approached the rock waiting there for a pat from the rock's occupant.

"Hey, boy," Ben said as he reached down and gave the big dog a hearty rub around his neck.  He turned to see if anyone was with Beau and noted that Brian was standing just at the edge of the clearing.  "Hey, Brian."

"Am I disturbing you?" Brian asked.

"Nope, come and join me."

Brian hiked himself up onto the rock beside Ben.  "What brought you here today?" he asked Ben.

"I come here quite often."

"You do?"

"Yes, it's a great place to think things through."

"That's why we called it the Thinking Rock," Brian said sticking his tongue in his cheek.

"Is that right?" Ben laughed.

Brian leaned back on his elbows and looked up at the sky.  "Beautiful day," he observed.

"Yes, very."

"You're not very talkative this morning."

"I'm waiting for Justin's decision about the book," Ben said hoping Brian would tell him it was all settled and he could go ahead with his project.

Brian waited for a minute.  "Justin and I talked it through last night.  I think he's going to say it's okay."

"That's great!" Ben enthused.

"Don't get ahead of yourself, professor.  I said that I think he's going to give you the go ahead.  He hasn't done that yet."

"Oh, okay," Ben replied, suddenly feeling rather deflated.

"Don't give up," Brian advised him.

"I don't intend to give up," Ben declared.  "You know, it was your daughter that started me down the road to this book."

"Bree?  What does she have to do with it?"

"We met one day here at the rock.  She asked what I was doing and I told her that I was thinking about the novel I was hoping to write.  She wanted to know what it was going to be about.  I told her I wanted to do an upbeat story about a gay family.  She said my story should have a bright, beautiful, precocious young lady in it."

Brian laughed.  "Meaning she wanted to be the star of the story."

Ben nodded and smiled.  "She does have an ego, but then she comes by that naturally."

"Ya think?" Brian chuckled.

"Anyway, she got me thinking about writing a story about your family, Brian."

"I'll have to speak to that girl," Brian said with a gruff voice.

Ben knew Brian didn't mean anything by his gruff tone.  "I owe Bree a vote of thanks if Justin gives me permission to go ahead."

"Maybe you better not say anything to her about that.  She's got a high enough opinion of herself already."

Ben's mouth dropped open.  He couldn't remember the last time he had heard Brian criticize his daughter.  "What made you say such a thing?" he asked his friend.

Brian rubbed his hand across his forehead and sighed.  "Forget it.  Forget what I said.  If you want to give her some credit, go ahead."

"What's going on, Brian?" Ben asked.  "This doesn't sound like you."

Brian shook his head.  Maybe he could use Ben as a sounding board for what was bothering him.  He thought about that for a couple of minutes while Ben waited patiently.  Ben knew you couldn't rush Brian Kinney.  He would just clam up and take off.  So Ben waited.

"She called me father yesterday," Brian said in almost a whisper after several moments had passed.

"Yeah, so?" Ben asked with a frown.  He didn't see what the problem was.

"You know that Bree always calls me her Dada and Justin is her Daddy.  Yesterday ... yesterday she called me 'father' - fucking 'father'!"

"And that's bad?" Ben asked trying not to smile.

"Of course it's bad.  I'm her Dada!" Brian declared.

"Brian," Ben said gently.  He was beginning to see the problem.  "Bree is growing up.  You didn't expect her to be calling you Dada when she's twenty, did you?"

"Yes I did," Brian responded defiantly.

"Brian," Ben admonished.

"I know, I know, but I hoped."

"Bree informed me that she is growing up when we had our chat."

"She's been telling me that a lot lately."

"And you should listen to her.  She has to grow and mature."

"I know," Brian said with a long sigh.

"It'll be all right," Ben said in a gentle voice.

"I hope so."

 

*****

 

Meanwhile Bree had found the swing in the yard and was pumping her legs like crazy trying to go as high as was humanly possible.

"Hey, you trying to hit outer space?" Patrick asked as he came up to her.

"Leave me alone."

"Not nice," Patrick told her with a scowl.

"You're not very nice sometimes."

"I'm always nice."

Bree was startled for a moment.  Patrick sounded a lot like her Dada when he said that.  People often told her she was a lot like her older father, but Patrick didn't usually get that comparison.  "No you're not," she replied defiantly.

"Like when?" Patrick asked with a frown.

"Like ... oh I don't know," Bree sighed.  The swing was beginning to slow down and she put a foot down to stop it.

"I guess you're not going to Europe," Patrick said.

Bree glared at him.  "See, you're not nice."

"I merely made an observation," Patrick said.  "What's not nice about that?"

"You don't need to rub my face in it."

"I wasn't trying to do that.  You don't need to be mean about it."

"Sowwy," Bree said in her baby talk, "I'm just bummed."

"I understand."

"Do you?" Bree asked.

"I know you want to do what Gus is doing.  That's what this is all about, isn't it?" Patrick asked with a knowing nod.

Bree clamped her lips together and stared at him.  "How come I'm always the youngest?"

Patrick laughed.  "That's because you are.  There's nothing you can do about it."

"But it's not fair."

"Life isn't always fair.  It's just the way things are."

"You can be really annoying sometimes.

Patrick grinned.  "That's my mission in life - annoying you."

Bree reached out and swatted him.

"Hey!" Patrick reacted.

"You deserved it," Bree told him.

"Yeah, I guess I did.  Are you giving up on going to Europe?"

Bree frowned.  "I don't know.  I'm not even sure why I asked to go."

"Because Gus is going," Patrick reminded her.  "I told you that."

"Annoying!" Bree snarked.

Patrick laughed.  "So do you think you'll just let it go?"

"Maybe."

"I'd miss you if you went to Europe."

Bree smiled.  "I'd miss you too."

"Hey, I got a smile and an 'I'd miss you'.  My work here is complete."

"You are really a pain in my..."

"Don't say it.  You know you love me."

"As annoying as you are, I do," Bree admitted with a chuckle.

"Want me to give you a push?"

"Sure," Bree agreed.

It was always nice to have someone propel her up on the swing.  She'd think about Europe later.  Maybe she should ask her other dad.  She let out a sigh as Patrick got her swinging almost as high as she had been before he joined her.  Only now, it felt great to feel the air on her face and she didn't have to work hard to get it.  Patrick was okay, even if he was annoying sometimes.

 

*****

 

“Hello.”

“Ouch!  Shit!” Jacqueline yelled.  She was searching her car for a notebook that she used to jot down notes and ideas for her bicycles when Glen rolled toward her car.  Glen startled her causing Jacqueline to jump and hit her head on the door frame.

“I’m so sorry.”

“You ought to wear a bell,” she grumbled as she rubbed the top of her head.

“Yeah, I get that a lot,” Glen said.

“So who the fuck are you?”

“I could ask you the same,” Glen retorted. 

Jacqueline scowled making Glen laugh.  “Oh, I’m so glad you think this is funny.  I’m bleeding the fuck to death and most likely have a concussion!”

“And they call me a drama queen.  Let me look at it,” Glen offered.

“I’m not going to let you touch me; I don’t know you.  And even if I did know you I wouldn’t let you touch me.  You’re not qualified to treat wounds.”

“Of course I am.  I treat them all the time, but we do have a bon-a-fide doctor on the lane at this time so I’ll call him and let him deal with it,” Glen said as he whipped out his phone.  “Babe, please come to the B&B and bring your doctor bag.  Don’t get your panties in a twist, I’m not the injured party.  But we have a young lady down here…”

“I’m not that young!”

 “…who’s growing a goose egg on her head.  Shut up!” Glen snapped at Jacqueline who continued to loudly curse and complain.  “No not you, I’m yelling at the young lady.  I don’t know.  One minute I’m rolling down the lane then the next thing I know she bashes her head in a car door.  Well, I don’t know why.”

“Hey,” Jacqueline shouted as she waved her hand in front of Glen’s face.  “Injured party here, remember me?  Bleeding with a concussion.”

“I offered but she turned me down.  Of course, I explained that I’m fully qualified to treat her boo-boo but nooooo, she wants a real doctor.  No, not my kind of doctor, your kind of doctor.  Will you hurry up, the kid looks a little pale.  Okay, bye.  He’s on the way; let’s get you inside.  Can you walk?  If not I can give you a lift,” Glen offered sweetly as he patted his lap.

“You’re fucking nuts.”

“So they tell me.  Personally I think they just don’t get my brand of humor.  Seriously, are you staying at the B&B?  We should get you inside.”

“Do you live here?” Jacqueline asked in a quiet tone.  Her head was beginning to ache and she was feeling dizzy.  She slowly began to walk up the path to the B&B door closely followed by Glen.

“Yes, Brian and John generously built us a cabin in the meadow.  This is our first summer here.  I’m Glen, by the way.”

“Jacqueline.  I’m JR’s girlfriend, partner, whatever.  This is still a little new for me.”

“Obviously.  Alex, he’s my whatever, and I have been together since college.”

“Wow.  Oooo, my head.  I’d show a little more enthusiasm but I don’t think my head can take it.”

“Understood,” Glen said as he carefully guided Jacqueline through the doorway.

“What happened?” JR began loudly.  

Glen waved her down with a “shush.”  Then calmly explained the incident and that a doctor would be arriving any second.

“Hey, Babe, where’s the patient?” Alex asked gently as he entered the B&B.  He was closely followed by a “crowd.”

“Right here.”  Glen pointed to Jacqueline who was making herself comfortable on the sofa.  JR was putting towels behind her bleeding head.  “Her name is Jacqueline but that’s as far as we got with the introductions.”

“Jacqueline, I’m Dr. Alex Wilder, can you state your name for me?”

“Let’s give them a little privacy,” Glen suggested to the crowd. 

The crowd consisted of Debbie and Carl who had just driven up to their cottage when they saw Alex jogging down the lane, bag in hand.  And Justin, John, and Bobby who had just come back from grocery shopping.  They too saw Alex running down the lane.  Debbie managed to corral JR away from “the exam room” long enough to get in a hug and a kiss.

“We go into Pittsburgh for two days and all hell breaks loose,” Debbie commented.  “What the fuck happened?”

“My fault.  I startled Jacqueline and she banged her head on the car door,” Glen explained.

“Ouch,” Bobby said as his hand automatically went to his own head.  The others agreed.

“I’ll put the kettle on,” Justin stated in an attempt to feel useful.

“Let me call Brian to let him know where we are,” John said as he pulled out his phone.

“I’m surprised you guys don’t have your own communication system,” Glen snarked.

“Actually, we do, but cell phones are just as good 99% of the time,” Bobby said.  Then he reminded Glen about their occasional use of walkie talkies and putting a light in a front window during a storm.

“Hmm, we’re a bit remote for a light in the window but the walkie talkies make sense,” Glen said. 

Bobby assured him that they’d work something out.  Plus Bobby also reminded Glen about Beau and his pack.  Beau and his family would make sure everyone was safe on the lane.

“Speaking about Beau, where’s my little buddy?” Glen asked, looking around as if Little Beau was somehow hidden in the B&B. 

As if he knew he was wanted, Little Beau came bounding into the B&B, muscling his way through the crowd to get to the object of his affection, namely one Glen Wilder.  Standing on his hind legs, Little Beau placed his large paws on Glen’s shoulders to best express his affections.  The crowd laughed as Glen withstood the onslaught.

“Yuck, I’ve been slobbered,” Glen cried out.

“Better you than me,” Carl stated flatly, making Debbie laugh.

“What’s the verdict, Doc?” Debbie asked as Alex walked into the kitchen.  He left JR to fuss over Jacqueline.

“The lady will have a nasty bump on her head for a few days but that’s the least of her worries,” Dr. Alex explained.

“Shit, now I really feel awful,” Glen said with true concern as he gave Little Beau a gentle push.  “There’s a clinic nearby, let’s take her for an x-ray.  If necessary we’ll take her for a CT scan,” Glen said sadly.

“It wasn’t your fault,” JR said.

“I don’t understand how a little bump on the head is having this reaction,” Glen mused.  “Unless…”  Glen wheeled himself over to Jacqueline.  “Miss Jacqueline, did you ever hit your head before?” 

Jacqueline opened her bleary eyes.  “Yes,” she whispered.  “When I was younger, I rode my bike without a helmet.  I’m a little clumsy sometimes.  I fell off… a lot,” she admitted.

“Thank you for being honest,” Glen assured her and patted her hand.  He turned to wheel himself to the kitchen so he wouldn’t have to shout.

“How did you know?” Jacqueline asked. 

Glen gave her a warm smile.  “I specialize in traumatic injuries, especially neurological ones.”

“So you’re really qualified to treat me?”

“Yes, he is,” Alex said softly as he leaned down to give Glen a kiss.  “I may be the medical doctor in the family…”

“Psychiatrist too,” Glen crowed proudly.

“But Glen has a PhD in physical therapy and psychology,” Alex stated with equal pride.  “And I agree, we should take Jacqueline to the clinic.”

“I’ll call Dr. Dan; his clinic may have all that you need,” Justin said as he pulled out his phone. 

Within minutes Alex brought the van to the B&B, Jacqueline and JR were safely strapped into the back and they were on their way to Dr. Dan’s clinic with Bobby leading the way in his own car.  The “crowd” quickly dissipated.

“Well that was entertaining; I wonder what they do for an encore,” Carl quipped.  Debbie popped him one in the arm.

“The least we can do is clean up and do some cooking.  JR certainly won’t be in the mood to cook,” Debbie stated with conviction.

“Do we know if JR can cook?” Carl mumbled as he stepped far back from Debbie’s aim.  “Babe, I’ll straighten up around here while you organize the cooking brigade.”

“Thank you, Honey,” Debbie agreed as she tackled the kitchen.

“I wonder if anyone called Ben,” Carl murmured to himself as he began to straighten up the living room.

 

*****

 

Later that evening in a peacefully quiet cottage, Justin was blissfully painting in the sun porch totally oblivious to the angry hulk about to enter via the garden.  Ben barged through the door.

“Someone should have called me!” Ben shouted as he charged toward Justin. 

Justin yelped, dropping his paint brush as he banged into his easel.  As if viewing the world via slow motion, they watched as Justin’s easel teetered then righted itself with a thud but not before depositing Justin’s latest masterpiece on to the floor…wet side down.  Ben gasped.

Hearing the commotion, Brian came rushing out of John’s side of the sun porch.  “Get away from him!” Brian growled with rage as he grabbed Ben then propelled him toward the nearest solid wall.  “Don’t you ever threaten my Justin,” Brian spat as he thrust Ben up against the wall.

“I’m sorry; I’m so sorry,” Ben repeated over and over as he became aware of his own stupidity.

“Brian, I’m all right,” Justin calmly stated as he slowly approached.  “Ben would never hurt me.”  Justin’s soft tone was beginning to get through Brian’s anger.  “He just startled me.  I’m okay,” Justin assured Brian as he reached out toward Brian’s arms, urging him to release Ben.

John and Bobby also heard the shouting, and were watching from their doorway.  John wanted to go to his brother but Bobby held him back.  “Stay out of it.  Justin will take care of Brian,” Bobby said wisely.  John didn’t like it but he reluctantly agreed.  John went back inside while Bobby inched himself closer to the melee. 

Brian slowly loosened his grip as his breathing slowed, returning to normal.  Justin’s gentle influence was working.  Once released, Bobby stepped in then quickly redirected Ben out the door.  He walked Ben back to his cabin.

Justin took Brian to their room to love the stuffing out of him.  When a sated and emotionally spent Brian fell asleep, Justin eased himself out of Brian’s arms to go back into the porch.  That’s where John found him.

“Can you fix it?” John gently asked as Justin peeled his painting off the floor then placed it back on the easel.  Justin stood staring at the ruined canvas.

“Probably, but it will never be the same,” Justin replied with a sigh.  “I may just leave it as it is.”

“Why?”

“As a reminder,” Justin stated as he began to clean up the mess on the floor.  He declined John’s help.  Justin was an expert with wayward oil paint.

“Of what?”

“Of today.  Of anger, of jumping to conclusions, of impatience; pick an emotion.  They all apply.  We’re all guilty of doing it, especially me.  I made a habit of it when I first met Brian.  When I thought I knew everything about love and relationships.”

“What does this have to do with Ben barging in here looking like he had murder on his mind?”  John was confused.

“What would happen if Bobby left you?  You’ve been together for a lot of years.  How would you feel?”

“Angry; confused.  I’d probably do a lot of stupid things without thinking them through first,” John replied. 

Justin nodded with a crooked smile.  “Ben and Michael have been together longer than you and Bobby.  They’re rarely apart and when they are, it’s only for a short time.  Ben’s probably very lonely without Michael.”

“But…”

“I know,” Justin said quickly, interrupting John.  “If Michael was supportive of Ben staying on the lane while he writes then being alone wouldn’t hurt so much.  And they would have the weekends and phone calls; maybe lots of phone sex,” Justin said with a giggle.  “The point is he wouldn’t be doing this alone,” Justin explained as he attached the canvas and easel to the pulley system.  He raised the ruined painting to the rafters.

John nodded then returned to his side of the conjoined cottages.

 

*****

 

“Feeling better?” Bobby asked Ben. 

They had walked the length of the lane, several times, then did a circuit in Ben’s “gym,” several times.  They were currently cooling down, toweling off sweat, and drinking water on Ben’s back porch.

“Yeah.  Do you think Justin will forgive me?”

“I wager he already has.  Brian, on the other hand.”  Bobby shrugged.

“Yeah, I know.  I’ve violated his prime directive.”

“Which is?” Bobby asked already knowing the answer.

“Do no harm to Brian’s Sunshine, his children, or the rest of his family,” Ben stated with an exaggerated sigh.

“So what are you going to do about it?”

“Grovel.  I foresee lots and lots of groveling.”

“Good man,” Bobby said with a chuckle.  “Well this has been fun.  My muscles may not be speaking to you in the morning either, but I won’t expect groveling.  Good night, Ben.”

“Good night, Bobby, and thank you,” Ben said as Bobby left to go back home.

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