Not So Zen Ben

Chapter 3

“You’re clinging,” Glen stated as he and Alex cuddled.  They had snuggled close all night long and it appeared that Alex had no intention of releasing his grip on his spouse any time soon.

“I’m allowed,” Alex replied sharply then waited for a typical Glen comeback.  When none was forthcoming Alex turned his head to look Glen in the eyes.

“What?”

“No acerbic remark?” Alex asked.

“What would be the point?  You’re a shrink.  You can come up with a thousand valid reasons why we should stay like this for the rest of the day,” Glen said with an exaggerated sigh.

“And you’re a clinical psychologist with more letters behind your name than I have.  If anyone can come up with a counterpoint it’s you.”

“Well, maybe I don’t want to argue.  Maybe I like it when you’re clingy sometimes,” Glen said in an almost whisper.  Then Alex got it.

“Shit, that fucking asshole scared you.  He really scared you.  I swear I’m going to Pittsburgh and I’m going to wring his neck,” Alex growled as he tried to get out of bed but Glen hung on.

“No, Babe, you’re staying right here with me,” Glen calmly stated as he securely wrapped his strong arms around his husband until he felt Alex calm down.  It wasn’t often that Alex got really angry.  Alex’s temperament truly suited his profession unless it involved Glen. 

“I need you,” Glen whispered.  Alex immediately stopped struggling and returned to Glen’s side.

“I’m here; I’m not going anywhere,” Alex murmured as he peppered Glen’s face with soft kisses.  “What are you feeling?”  Alex sensed a struggle within Glen.

“For a moment, just for a split second, I had that same feeling when I fell.  When I knew my life had been forever changed,” Glen admitted.  Alex pulled Glen closer, holding him tighter as he remembered the accident that permanently put Glen in his chair.  

“Do you know how much I love you?  How so in love I am with you?” Alex said as he held Glen’s face and gazed directly into his eyes.  The fear was suddenly gone; Glen’s strength was once again in the forefront.  He smiled lovingly at Alex then Glen’s smile turned into a mischievous smirk.  Alex knew his Glen was back.

“Sooo, you wanna to do the nasty with me?”  Glen batted his eyes making Alex burst out laughing.  Glen laughed too.  A laughing Alex was so much better than an Alex that was contemplating murder.

“On one condition.”

“Great; so we’ve been together for such a long time that now we need specific caveats fulfilled in order to make love?”

“No, you idiot.  But we’ve been laying in this bed all night long.  I’ve got to pee, your stomach’s been growling for the past hour and a half, and we both have a serious case of morning breath that could knock out King Kong!  Why don’t we take care of business then we come back to bed?  We can even bring back some snacks.”

“Oooo!  Maybe make some mimosas?”

“I don’t see why not.”

“Race ya!” Glen shouted as he grabbed his legs, swung them over the edge of the bed then quickly transferred himself to his wheelchair.  He was off and heading to the bathroom before Alex got one foot on the floor.  Alex just shook his head as he thanked all that he held holy for his Glen.

*****

The Kinney-Taylors were enjoying breakfast that had been prepared by the ex-Stud of Liberty Avenue.  Brian picked at the French toast that everyone else was devouring.  He sipped his coffee and sat back watching his family.

"When did you add French toast to your breakfast repertoire?" Gus asked. 

"Dada started making it quite a while ago," Bree said.  "It gets better every time he makes it."

"Thanks, Squirt," Brian replied sticking his tongue in his cheek.

Justin smiled and patted Brian's hand.

"It's excellent French toast," Ray stated.

"When are you guys leaving?" Brian asked.

"We're all packed, so we'll leave right after breakfast," Ray told him.

"Do you hafta go?" Bree pouted.

"We do," Gus said.  "I'll miss you."

"Not as much as I'll miss you," Bree countered.

"More."

"Unh, unh."

"Stop it, you two," Justin chastised.

"It's just a game, Daddy," Bree stated practically.  "But I will miss you a lot, Gus."

"What about me?" Ray asked.

"Probably more than my annoying brother," Bree told him with a mischievous grin.

"Brat!" Gus responded.

"Am not," Bree giggled.

"Okay, enough," Ray said.  "I'm sorry I asked.  I'm going to get our bags and load the Jeep.  Thanks for the great breakfast, Mr. Kinney."

"Don't you think it's time you called me Brian?"

"Is it?" Ray asked surprised.

"I'd say so," Brian said with a smirk.  “Or did you forget that I gave you permission?  Then again, I did fire you,” Brian said with a mock scowl.

"Okay ... Brian," Ray said with a smile.  "I'll just grab the bags." 

"Are you going to New York first, or straight to Toronto?" Brian asked Gus.

"We're going to Toronto and then London, hopefully Paris after that."

"Wish I could come," Bree said hopefully.

"Not this time, Squirt," Brian said rubbing her shoulder.

"I know," Bree sighed.  "Will you come back here before school starts?" Bree asked her brother.

"We'll see."

Bree sighed again as Gus got up from the table.  "I love you," Bree said.

Gus kissed the top of her head.  "We better get this show on the road," he said as he headed for the door. 

They all followed him out giving hugs and kisses before the two men climbed into the Jeep.

"Be safe," Brian whispered to his son.

"Always, Pop."

The Jeep pulled away and the rest of the Kinney-Taylor family watched it disappear down the lane.

"I wish Gus could stay here," Bree commented wistfully.

"I know, sweetheart," Justin replied giving his daughter a hug.  "But Gus and Ray have jobs to do."

"I wish I had a job."

"You just came back from meetings with your clients," Justin reminded her.  "That's a job?"

"Daddy, you know I'm too young to really have clients," Bree stated with skepticism.

"Which is why you're too young to have an actual job," Brian said.

"I know," Bree sighed.

"Enough sighing for one day," Brian said firmly.

"Okay, Dada," Bree agreed stifling another sigh that had threatened to escape.

*****

Ben yawned and took a sip of his tea.  Clad in his pajama bottoms he walked out onto the back deck of the large cabin.  He drew in a long breath, smelling the fresh country air.  He knew deep in his heart that he had made the right decision to stay on the lane.  Even if Michael was furious with him, he needed to do this for his own well-being.  Michael had not called yesterday or this morning.  It had been a long time since they had spent time apart and not talked.  He had been tempted to call Michael himself, but thought better of it.  If Michael was still angry, it would be a very unpleasant call.  When Michael got over his anger, he would call on his own.

Ben pulled the chaise out into the sunlight and sat down stretching out his long legs.  He set his tea down on the small table beside the chaise.  He'd go make some breakfast for himself in a few minutes, but right now he just wanted to relish the silence.

The silence did not last long.

"Ben, Ben, oh you're out here," Debbie said as she came out onto the deck.  "I looked all over the house.  I was beginning to think..."

"That I'd gone chasing after Michael?"  Ben finished her sentence.  He shook his head thinking that everyone thought he was Michael's patsy.  Well, not this time.  "Not this time," he said aloud.

"I don't like it when you two fight."

"I don't like it either," Ben said softly.  "But I'm not giving in."

"I ... understand."

"Do you?"

"I see how often Michael gets his way.  I'm amazed at your patience with him."

"Really?"  Ben could hardly believe what he was hearing.

"Don't get me wrong.  I love my son, but he can be a ... selfish little shit sometimes."

Ben laughed.  "You don't say."

"And other times Michael has a heart of gold."

"Yeah, he does."

"Are you guys going to be okay?" Debbie asked.

"I think so.  Just give it some time."

"Speaking of time, I brought you my version of an Egg McMuffin.  It's on the kitchen table."

"You didn't have to do that, Deb."

"I know I didn't.  I wanted to.  Come, eat."

Ben got up from the chaise and retrieved his mug.  "I made a pot of tea.  Care to join me?"

"I think that would be lovely," Debbie said as she followed Ben inside.

*****

Debbie had left a while ago.  They had had a fruitless discussion about Michael.  Debbie knew her son's faults, but she loved him totally and was willing to overlook most of them.  At least she hadn't completely taken Michael's side and told Ben that he should get his ass to Pittsburgh and make up with her son.  Ben didn't think that was going to happen this time.  He was prepared to stand his ground. 

Ben decided to return to the deck, enjoy the sun and think about his book.  He slipped on a pair of skimpy shorts and slathered himself with sunscreen.  He grabbed his notebook and sunglasses and headed out.  The sun was strong so Ben knew he wouldn't stay too long.  He stretched out on the chaise holding his notebook on his lap as he thought about what he wanted to write.

He opened the notebook after a few minutes.  He jotted down some ideas: gay couple, happy marriage, children, maybe a Bree clone.  Ben smiled.  That child was one of a kind, just what you needed for a character in a novel.

Emmett came around the side of the log cabin.  He carried a small basket of muffins.  He had knocked on the front door but there was no answer, so he was hoping that Ben would be out back.  Emmett had heard about the incident with Glen from Drew, and he wanted to let Ben know that he was not taking sides, but would be there if Ben needed him.

As Emmett reached the back of the house, he glanced up at the deck to see if Ben was there.  He gave a little gasp as he saw what he thought was a naked Ben lying in the chaise.  The notebook covered the most essential area, but the rest of what Emmett could see was mighty fine.

"Oh, my, my, my," Emmett gasped.

Ben sat up startled.  His notebook fell to the deck and Emmett gave another gasp.  He had expected to see Ben naked, but he quickly realized that his friend had on a pair of skimpy shorts.  That was probably a good thing.

"Hey, Emmett," Ben said as he swung his legs over the edge of the chaise.  "What's up?"

"Um, I, You...!"

"What?"

"I...um...thought for a moment that you didn't have anything on," Emmett stammered, trying to get himself under control.

Ben laughed.  "Would that be such a bad thing?" he asked coyly.

"No, not bad at all.  I was kind of looking forward to it," Emmett chuckled as he mock fanned himself.  "You are one fine looking man hunk."

Ben laughed again.  "Well, thanks very much.  At my age it's nice to be thought of as a ... man hunk."

"You are definitely hunky, my friend."

"Besides building my ego, what are you doing here?" Ben asked as he stood up.

"Drew told me what happened with Michael and Glen.  I can't believe Michael didn't stop and check if Glen was all right."

"I found that hard to fathom too," Ben said with a sigh.  "Michael usually cares about ... people.  He was so angry at me."

"Why was he angry at you?" Emmett asked.

"Um, it's a long story.  Let's go inside and have a coffee."

"Perfect!" Emmett responded.  "I brought muffins."

"What a lovely coincidence," Ben laughed as he opened the sliding door and stepped into the cabin.

Emmett watched the firm bum in the skimpy shorts, and the strong muscular legs and the rippling muscles of Ben's back shiny with sunscreen.  "My, my, my," Emmett whispered to himself.  "Mighty fine, mighty fine."  He fanned himself with his hand.

"Are you coming?" Ben called from the kitchen.  "I'm making coffee."

"Be right there," Emmett called back as he took a deep breath and tried to clear his head.  "Muffins," he said decisively as he stepped into the kitchen.

*****

As Gus and Ray reached the outskirts of Pittsburgh Ray began to fidget.

“What’s wrong?” Gus asked.

“Did you confirm our travel plans yet?” Ray asked.

“Not really.  I wanted to speak with Cynthia first.  Why?”

“We’ve been away from home for almost two months.  And we might be traveling for a few more months; I’d really like to see my parents before we go,” Ray said.  Gus reached over to pat Ray’s thigh.

“I’ve been a selfish shit, haven’t I?

“No, you haven’t but you and your family are used to traveling.  I’ve lived in New York all my life, I miss it.  I miss our apartment.  I miss our bed.”  Gus gently rubbed Ray’s leg with understanding.

“Yeah, I miss it too.  And now we’re off again.  I could go by myself,” Gus offered.

“That’s not an option.  Your dad instructed both of us to go for a reason and I accept that traveling is part of the business.  Especially since he’s grooming you to take over one day.  He traveled for Kinnetik and you will too.”

“I get it. This summer has been different,” Gus sighed.  “Pop and Jus needed us there because of Craig.  Under normal circumstances we would have been home in a week or two.”  Gus became quiet as the wheels were turning in his head.

“What are you thinking?” Ray asked.

“That we should check in with Cynthia and conference with Stacy.  Let’s go to the loft. I think I left one of my favorite shirts there anyway.  If Cynthia okays it, we’ll go to Kinnetik tomorrow to confirm our plans.  Ted still likes to book my tickets.”

“Can’t you do it?” Ray whined.  “He always puts us someplace with no leg room.”  Ray wasn’t as tall as the Kinney men but he wasn’t short either. 

Gus chuckled.  “Okay, short stuff, quit yer whining.”

“I’ll show you short, Kinney, thems fightin’ words!” Ray retorted.

“That a promise?”

“You betcha.”

“Well all right,” Gus crowed as he pulled into his dad’s parking spot near the Tremont building. 

The boys wrestled their bags into the building and then up to the loft.  Since they didn’t have to report to Kinnetik until the next day they had plenty of time to look for Gus’ shirt and for other activities.

*****

“Dad, what’s wrong?” JR asked.  She couldn’t help notice that her father wasn’t a happy camper.  Several empty cardboard boxes in the storeroom had greatly suffered the wrath of Michael Novotny.

“Nothing!” Michael spouted.

“Sure looks like a whole lot of something to me,” JR murmured but she knew when not to push her dad.  JR figured he'd talk to her when he was good and ready.  “I’m going to the diner for some coffee and lemon bars.  Do you want anything?” JR said as she grabbed her purse and headed for the door.

“No,” Michael said in a pitiful tone from behind the counter.  “Yeah, maybe a lemon bar or two.”

“Okay, Dad!” JR stated.  Her spirits perked up knowing that the Liberty Diner lemon bars had magical powers to cheer up her father.

“And coffee, light and sweet,” Michael shouted as JR was halfway out the door. 

“Coffee, light and sweet.  Got it.  Be back soon!” JR acknowledged as she headed for the diner.  It was beautiful out so JR decided to walk.  She was back soon enough with her treats then witnessed the famed lemon bars work their magic.

“Ben left me,” Michael admitted as he was wiping down the display counter.

“Excuse me?”

“You heard me, your stepfather left me.”

“I don’t believe it.  Ben loves you!”

“Yeah, well he has a funny way of showing it.  He didn’t come home with me.”

“Wait a minute, I thought you said he left you.  You mean you left Ben at the cabin?”  Michael nodded.  “So you left him.”  JR narrowed her eyes, looking more and more like her mother.

“Same thing,” Michael insisted.  He couldn’t fathom why JR wasn’t taking his side.  First his mother and now his daughter.

“Don’t give me that look.  I’m not taking sides,” JR stated, almost reading her father’s mind.  “But by leaving the lane before you and Ben worked things out really means you left him.  Now my question is, why?” she quickly asked before Michael could put up an argument.

“He wants to take time off to write another book and he wants to do it on the lane.  He says that Pittsburgh is too distracting,” Michael huffed as he crossed his arms over his chest.

“Yeah and...”

“Isn’t that enough?”

“Enough what?  What I’ve heard so far doesn’t sound like a problem to me.  Is Ben having an affair or tricking?”  JR shuddered.  Even the thought of Ben cheating on her dad sounded ludicrous.

“What?  No, of course not.  But I don’t understand why he has to write all the way over there when he has a perfectly good home here, with me and our friends.”

“Maybe that’s your problem, you don’t understand.  You don’t want to understand.”  Michael sputtered, growing red in the face.  “Hear me out.  I love you, Daddy, but sometimes you don’t see the whole picture,” JR said choosing her words carefully.

“How…”

“I’m not finished,” JR quickly added before her father could go off on a tirade. 

“Anyone who knows Ben also knows that he loves you.  And he’d do just about anything for you.  He was a rock when you were sick.  He organized everything so all you needed to do was get better.  And Uncle Brian practically built the B&B cottage for you and Ben so that you could recover and get therapy.  I know Ben had a lot of input regarding the B&B.”

JR let that simmer a moment before going on.

“I love you, Dad.  You’re the only father I have, but I love Ben too.  He deserves this time to write or even just to be lazy and get a great tan.  Don’t be an ass and mess up your marriage over this.  Who knows, maybe you’ll figure out that you can semi-retire too and spend more than three seconds in your cabin that you harassed everyone to build for you.”

“I did not harass anyone!”

“Bullshit!  You knew Uncle Bri only wanted cottages on the lane but you pestered him into a log cabin.  Uncle John had all these great ideas to make the cabin look pretty and fit in, but no, you had to push and shove to make the cabin into a log mansion.  Well, you got what you wanted so it’s time to show some appreciation!”

JR grabbed the dusting cloth out of Michael’s hand and flung it toward the backroom.  She stomped her way toward the office, went in then slammed the door behind her.  Michael was about to spew forth a few expletives when the bell on the door jingled and several kids with parents walked in looking for their favorite comics.  Michael quickly put on his shop owner’s face to greet his customers.  Whatever he was going to say to JR would have to wait.       

“Hi,” JR quietly said into her phone.

“Hi yourself.  Why are you whispering?” Jacqueline asked.

“Because I don’t want my father to hear.”

“What’s he done now?” Jacqueline asked with an exaggerated sigh.

“Only gone and did something stupid like leaving Ben.  Ben's still at their cabin in the country.”

“What?”

“Exactly.  Listen, do you have time to take a short vacation?”

“I own the fucking company; I can take off any time I like,” Jacqueline retorted sharply.  “You’re thinking of staying at the cabin with Ben for a few days?”

 “Only to get the real story.  My dad isn't very…”

“Forthcoming?”

“That’s one way of putting it.”

“I’m in.  Besides, I’ve never been to the lane.”

“Then I think it’s about time,” JR stated emphatically.

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