Not So Zen Ben

Chapter 1

"Hi, Uncle Ben," Bree called as she walked into the clearing by the stream.  Beau bounded along beside her.

Ben looked up from his seat on the thinking rock.  He had been staring into the water as it bubbled over some rocks.  "Hello," Ben said with a smile for his special 'niece'.

"Am I bothering you?" Bree asked, knowing that many times when people came to the thinking rock, they didn't want to be disturbed.  They might have very important things to think about.

"Not at all," Ben said patting the rock to indicate that Bree should join him.  "I could use a distraction."

"From something serious?" Bree asked as she settled herself beside Ben on the rock.  Beau lay down beside the rock waiting for his ward to move again.

"Kind of..."

"Want to talk about it?"

"I'd rather hear about how your summer is going," Ben said hoping to change the subject.

Bree frowned and shook her head.  "It's okay," she said with a sigh.

"Just okay?"

"It's been weird."

"How so?"

Bree wasn't sure how to answer that question.  She had enjoyed working with her 'clients' in Pittsburgh, and soccer camp had been good.  She had wanted to spend lots of time with her Grandpa Craig while he was on the lane, but that had not happened.  That had made the summer less fun than she had hoped.   She hesitated for another moment or two, and then decided to ask.  "Do you know why my Grandpa Craig doesn't like my Dada?"

"What?  Why are you asking me that?" Ben said all flustered by Bree's sudden question.

"I'm asking you because you're here, and because nobody else will tell me and because I want to know."

"What makes you think that Craig ... doesn't like your Dada?" Ben asked trying to buy some time to think of a way to answer Bree without revealing too much.  He knew Bree's fathers were trying to protect her from Craig Taylor's homophobia and hatred of Brian Kinney.

"We went to Pittsburgh so that Dada and Grandpa Craig wouldn't be around each other, and I see how my grandpa looks at Dada," Bree informed her uncle.

"How does he look at Brian?" Ben asked hoping to understand just how much Bree had figured out on her own.

"Um, it's hard to describe.  It's ... like he's dealing with something off the bottom of his shoe," Bree said fighting back tears that always seemed to arise when she thought about her grandfather and father at the same time.  She hated all the tension she always felt when they were in the same room together, even within the same vicinity of each other.  It made her mad too.  Why couldn't they get along?  She needed to know what it was all about.

Ben's mouth dropped open.  "You feel that?"

"Yes, whenever they have to be together.  They never want to be in the same place at the same time.  Did my Dada do something to Grandpa Craig?"

"Yes, he did."

"What?  My Dada wouldn't hurt anybody.  What could he have done that was so terrible?"

"He married your Dad, sweetheart.  That's what Brian Kinney did," Ben said.

"Huh?"

"Your grandfather did not approve," Ben said.  And that was putting it mildly.

"But Daddy and Dada love each other.  Everybody can see that."

"Yes, everyone knows except your granddad."

"But...?"

"Bree, you should talk to your dads about this," Ben said, wondering if he had already said too much.

"It's because they're two men, isn't it?" Bree asked.

"Yes."

"I don't know why that makes such a big difference to some people.  I just don't get it."

"I know, sweetheart, but there's still a lot of people who feel that way."

Bree shook her head knowing he was right.  What more could she say?  She would try to talk to her fathers about this, but she already knew that probably wouldn't happen.  They seemed to think that if they didn't say anything, it was like it didn't exist. 

Ben and Bree sat in silence for a few minutes. 

Finally, Bree asked what she had first said when she sat down.  "Why are you here, Uncle Ben?  What's bothering you?"

"A lot of things."

"Like what?"

"You are a very persistent young woman."

"Yes, people tell me that all the time."

Ben laughed out loud.  Trust Bree to make him laugh when he felt like shit.  "I'm sort of retiring," Ben said.

"My Dada is sort of retired too."

Ben laughed again.  "Yes, I guess he is."

"Don't you want to retire?"

"I'm still going to teach, just cut back on the amount," Ben explained.

"So, what's the problem?"

"Um..."  Ben did not want to criticize his spouse in front of this young lady.  That was private to themselves.

"Is it Uncle Michael?" Bree asked.

Ben shook his head.  Bree was too smart for her own good.  "I want to stay here on the lane for the rest of the summer.  I'm going to try to write another novel."

"That's great, Uncle Ben.  Doesn't Uncle Michael want you to do that?"

"He doesn't care about the writing part, but he wants to go back to Pittsburgh."

"And you want to stay here," Bree stated.

"Yes, it's much more peaceful and conducive to writing here on the lane.  I'm happy to stay by myself, but Michael wants us both to go back to the city."

"I think you should do what is best for you, Uncle Ben."

"I think I should too," Ben agreed.

"Then what's the problem?"

"An unhappy Michael."

"Oh, and if he's unhappy, so is everyone around him."

"You really are a very perceptive girl," Ben said in admiration.

"I know.  I see a lot more than people think I do."

"Does that make it hard for you?"

Bree thought about that.  "Yes, I guess it does.  If I didn't notice the tension between Grandpa Craig and Dada then I wouldn't have to worry about it."

"Your dads would like you to stay the innocent little girl who is happy all the time," Ben told her.

Bree made a face.  "I know," she said with a sigh.  "But I do have to grow up.  I don't think there's any way to stop it."

Ben laughed.  "Right you are!  And you shouldn't have to worry about all the adults in your life."

"I think worrying is part of growing up."

Ben smiled.  "Yes, I'm afraid it probably is."

"So what are you going to do ... about Uncle Michael, I mean?"

"I don't know.  I was hoping the answer would jump out of the stream and smack me in the face."

It was Bree's turn to laugh.  "I think you should use that image in your novel," Bree suggested.

"Maybe I will," Ben chuckled.

"Do you know what your novel will be about?" Bree asked.

"I have some ideas."

"Care to share?"

"I'm thinking of writing about a gay couple and their family - you know, all the trials and tribulations of life, but also the joy and fun.  I don't want this one to be too gloomy."

"That would be a good idea.  I don't like stories that are all gloom and doom."

"Apparently neither does the reading public."

"So, you need some trials and tribulations, some funny and happy events, and maybe..."  Bree stopped, waiting for her Uncle Ben to finish the statement.

"Maybe...what?" Ben asked.

"Maybe a precocious, funny, charming and beautiful young lady somewhere in the story?"

Ben chuckled.  "Whatever gave you that idea?"

"It's just a suggestion."

"And who would I model this young heroine after?"

"Oh, I don't know," Bree said as she slid off the rock.  Beau was immediately on his feet at her side.  "I'm sure you might be able to think of someone like that."

"I just might be able to," Ben conceded with a smile.

"I bet it would make your book much more fun."

"You could be right," Ben said thoughtfully.

"I usually am," Bree said with a Brian Kinney-like smirk.  "I'll leave you alone and let you do your thinking," she added.  "Oh, and I think you should do what makes you happy, not just what Uncle Michael wants.  That's my opinion for what it's worth."

"Your opinion is worth a lot.  Thanks for the chat."

"And thanks for your information about grandpa and Dada," Bree said.

"Talk to your dads about that," Ben called after Bree as she headed for the edge of the clearing with Beau bounding along beside her.

"I'll think about it," Bree called back before she disappeared down the path.

*****
 

“Oh hello!” Alex calmly called out as he saw Bree with Beau emerging from the path that led to the stream. 

Mother Nature was being exceptionally kind to the family on the lane.  The skies were a vivid blue with a smattering of white fluffy clouds.  There was a warm breeze that occasionally shared the scent of Brian’s flowers throughout the lane.  And best of all, low humidity that allowed the exploration of the lane to be a pleasant one.

“Hi, Dr. Alex,” Bree replied as she and Beau walked up to the kindly man.  Alex slowly extended his hand out to Beau to allow for a good sniff.  He stayed calm and still, until he received Beau’s approval.  “How is Mr. Glen?  Did he win the race?”

“Not this time but his team did come in third.  Not bad since they had a couple of new people on their team and Glen’s wheelchair broke down on the last leg of the relay.”

“Did Mr. Glen get hurt?” Bree asked with wide eyes and concern.

“A few scrapes and bruises, nothing that won’t heal.  I think because his pride was hurt was worse than anything, but he’ll get over it.”

“Maybe my Daddy and I could bake some cookies for him.  Does Mr. Glen like cookies?”  Bree looked up into Alex’s eyes, hoping.

“Miss Bree, I know for a fact that Glen loves cookies.  And he doesn’t discriminate.  He loves oatmeal raisin, plain oatmeal, chocolate chip, and sugar cookies,” Alex said with a big grin.

“Sooo, in other words, Mr. Glen just loves cookies,” Bree said with a sly smile.

“You got it.  I hate to admit it but I have one greedy spouse.”  Alex shook his head.  “Too greedy for his own good sometimes.”

“But we can make an exception just this time,” Bree said compassionately.

“I believe we can.  May I escort you back to your cottage, Miss Bree?” Alex asked as he offered Bree his arm.  Bree giggled but took the proffered arm.  Her Dada would do that to her and to her Grandma Jenn too.

“Dr. Alex, can I ask you something?” Bree quietly asked as they slowly approached the garden.

“You may.”

“Is it true that Grandpa Craig hates my Dada?”  Violet blue eyes looked up to Alex seeking the truth.

“Miss Bree, before I answer your question, and I promise to answer it to the best of my ability, I must ask you a few questions first,” Alex stated. 

Bree thought a minute; she wanted to go someplace quiet, comfortable, and private.  “Follow me,” Bree commanded as she led Alex in a roundabout way to the treehouse.  John had brought it to the lane for Patrick, but after a while he had so many other activities he was into that he outgrew the treehouse.  It was Bree who helped to maintain it along with the Wendy house.  Bree loved them both.

“Why haven’t I seen this before?” Alex asked as he followed Bree up the stairs.  “This is remarkable,” he said as he looked around.  “Not that I should be surprised at anything that remotely involves your fathers or your family.”

Seeing a couple of chairs, Alex and Bree brushed off a few leaves then made themselves comfortable.  Bree gazed at Alex in anticipation.

“Okay.  Do you understand what patient – doctor confidentiality is?” Alex asked Bree. 

She appeared to ponder the question but then she replied.  “Is that like client – lawyer confidentiality?  I hear about it all the time with Uncle Bobby and Miss Melanie.  And even Uncle Thomas told me that when he was a priest people would tell him things, but he would never ever tell anyone about it.  Is that it?”

“You’re absolutely correct.  It’s a rule that all doctors are supposed to follow.  Plus there are other laws that protect your privacy, however you are a minor.  Do you know what that means?”

“I’m under eighteen.”

“Correct again.  That means if I think or suspect you’re in danger, it’s my duty to report it to your parents and/or the proper authorities.”  Alex let that one simmer for a few minutes before he went on.  “Bree, your father came to me when he was feeling a little lost.  I can’t discuss what we talked about, but I think he felt better after.  What do you think?”

“I know he was better.  And Daddy was better.  And everyone was better,” Bree said holding her arms out wide making Alex laugh.

“Yes, a happy Brian Kinney does seem to make the surrounding world a little happier too.  So you agree that sometimes it helps to talk to someone, the right someone when you have a problem.”

“Yes I do.”

“And do you want to talk to me?”

“Yes.”

“All right.”  Looking around the treehouse, Alex spied a plastic storage container in a corner.  He rummaged around in it and found a small white board and markers.  He then wrote on it, “The Doctor is In.” 

“Do you have any currency?” Alex asked Bree.  Bree sadly shook her head but then she brightened as she remembered something.

“I know this isn’t real money but can you hold onto this and maybe later I can pay you in cookies?  You do like cookies, don’t you?” Bree asked.  One brow was slightly arched; Alex kept a straight face.

“I’m a bit more particular than Glen, but yes, I will accept your terms,” Alex said as he held out his hand.  Bree placed a very pretty pink pebble onto Alex’s palm.  “That’s an unusual stone.”

“I found it with my Grandma Joan when we were in New York.  I was very little then,” Bree said with a hint of sadness in her voice.

“I shall take very good care of it until I can return it to you.  Now how may I help you?”

“Why does my grandfather hate my father?” Bree asked. 

Alex noted that all the child-like tone was gone.  Here was a young lady who had real concerns and felt some real pain.  So Alex answered as truthfully as he could without breaking Brian’s confidences.  He encouraged Bree to speak with her dads and offered to be a part of the discussions if Bree desired.

“Now I believe our time is up,” Alex stated.  “And I think it’s time for you to start baking some cookies,” Alex reminded Bree with a smile.  Bree gave Alex one of her sunniest smiles along with a hug. 

“Thank you Dr. Alex!  I feel a lot better.”

“Bree, not everything can be solved in an hour,” Alex warned.

“I know but it kinda makes more sense.  Do you know what I mean?”

“Yes, I do.  And I’m glad.  Glen and I will be staying here through Labor Day so we have plenty of time to talk again.  Besides, you’re not getting out of paying me in cookies,” Alex said with a wink.  Bree’s smile widened then she showed Alex the shortcut down.  They both laughed when they reached the bottom of the slide.

“That was fun,” Alex said as he brushed off the back of his jeans. 

Beau, who had stayed at the bottom of the treehouse waiting for Bree, yipped and barked in agreement.

“Dr. Alex, if you don’t mind talking more, I think there’s someone else who might need you,” Bree said as she headed for the conjoined cottages.

“Who?”

“Go to the thinking rock by the stream,” Bree instructed.

“The what?”

“That way,” Bree pointed before she disappeared from view.  Alex just shook his head as he walked toward the stream.

“Communing with nature?” a voice called out making Alex stumble.  “Easy there, pardner,” Ben said as he extended a strong hand to steady Alex who had tripped over a stone in the path.  “What brings you out here?”

“Honestly?  It’s so beautiful out today that I couldn’t resist the call of the wild, so to speak.  Glen’s resting and I just didn’t want to stay inside.  He knows how to get me if he needs me.”

“How’s he doing?”

“Better.  Still not ready to admit he’s not superman but that’ll never change.  He’s stubborn that way.”

“And you love him for that,” Ben remarked with a wistful smile.

“Yes, I do.  Physically, he’s recovering, mentally give him another day or two and he’ll return to his lovable obnoxious self.  Sooner, if Miss Briana has anything to do with it,” Alex said with a laugh.

“And what does Miss Bree have to do with it?  Watch that one, she’ll have you wandering through a frozen forest to chop down a tree for Christmas,” Ben chuckled.

“Forewarned is forearmed.  I believe right about now she’s convincing her parents why it’s imperative that she bake enough cookies to feed a small army.”

“That small army being one pouting Glen Wilder?”

“Got it in one.  She also instructed me to walk to the thinking rock by the stream because there was someone there who needed to talk.  Could that someone be you?”

“Possibly.  But aren’t we all cutting into your vacation time?  Glen told me a long time ago how important your down time is to you.  I think we’ve imposed on you enough this summer,” Ben said as he stared at a clump of day lilies that lined the path.

“This isn’t an imposition; you’re a friend and a good friend to Glen.”  Alex gave Ben a warm smile.

“He’s a special man.  Before I met Michael and knew about you, I almost…”

“He told me.  Glen and I have very few secrets.”

“You’re not jealous?” Ben teased.

“Of a musclebound beefcake like you?  Of course I am!  But he loves me and I love him so much that I can’t breathe thinking about a life without him.  It’s one of the reasons why we’re so honest with each other.”

Alex kept silent for a moment knowing that his silence was giving Ben permission to speak.

“I want to retire, or semi-retire.  At the very least take a sabbatical for a year so I can stay here on the lane.  I want to write.  I have an idea for a book, maybe a series of books about a gay couple and their family.  Their ups and downs, the fun stuff with a little drama thrown in.  And I’ve been advised that the story may require and I quote, a precocious, funny, charming and beautiful young lady, unquote.”

Alex cracked up with laughter.  “Where the hell does that child come up with this stuff?” Alex got out in between laughing.

“I have no idea but I suspect it may have something to do with growing up with a certain tall dark and handsome father of hers,” Ben stated matter-of-factly.

“You could be right but I wouldn’t dismiss the influence of her other father.  After all, there can only truly be one King of Babylon,” Alex said giving Ben a poignant look.  Ben wisely nodded.

“As for your plans, that’s a dream not many can afford, however it’s a worthy dream.  You’re a writer, Ben, find the words that Michael will understand then present your reasons.  You’ve stuck by him, loved him when most men would have given up.  It’s really not my job to take sides but we’ve known each other for a long time, and you deserve this.” 

Ben sucked in a large breath of air then blew it out as he said thank you.  

The men turned and began walking back down the path that would lead them to their homes.

“Had enough of Mother Nature?” Ben asked with a smirk.

“For now,” Alex replied as he swatted away a mosquito.  “I’m thinking it’s time to commune with my partner.”

“Sounds like a plan to me,” Ben agreed as they parted ways.

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