Wedding Bell Blues

Chapter 5

March 2007

"Brian, Bobby on line one."

"Thanks, Cyn. Hey, big Red, please don't tell me you didn't get those signed contracts. I'll have Cynthia's ass and not in a positive life affirming way."

"Whoa there, big fella. I got them. No need for bloodshed. You know Brian, if you continue snagging these big contracts, you're going to have to diversify and soon."

"Yeah, I know. Theodore has been up my ass about it. There's a rumor that Babylon may be going on the market. I like that you've preserved the Honey Bear for the community. I'd like to do the same here."

"It would be a good investment."

"Especially if it keeps Teddy off my back. But I don't think that's why you called me."

"No, it's not."

"Sooo?"

"Brian, this weekend is St. Patrick's day."

"Ah, that explains it."

"Explains what?"

"Why my office is as green as a rainforest. I have never seen so many leprechauns in all my life. And I'm Irish."

"You guys going to come up here?"

"Wasn't planning on it. Why? You and John run into another wedding prep bump?"

"Well, sort of."

"Bobby, for an eloquent lawyer, you're getting on my last nerve beating around the bush. Now, get to the point while I'm young, if you please."

"You know John's really intent on having the ceremony at the clearing by the stream."

"Yes."

"I don't think I want to do that."

"Bobby!"

"I know, I know. But I think my parents would feel more comfortable in a catering hall."

"Bobby, the wedding's four months away and you're having a June wedding. Do you know how difficult it'll be to change the venue now? And I hate to throw a monkey wrench into this but we're talking about a gay wedding, so unless you want to hold it at the Honey Bear, you're not going to get too many halls that will go for it."

"I realize that; George offered but I don't think my parents would like it there either. My father even offered to talk to the commander at the VFW lodge but that's way out."

"Tell me about it. All that 'don't ask don't tell' shit goes right out the window when you're talking about a bunch of fags getting married. Bobby, John really wants this to happen at the stream. It is beautiful there. Think about it, under the trees, the stream running through; it's picture perfect."

"I know. And you are sounding like a lesbian."

"Fuck, I hoped you wouldn't notice. Bobby, unless they predict torrential rain, keep the wedding at the stream. The barn will be back up and it's big enough."

"Okay, I will. Thanks. So, we'll see you up here this weekend?"

"Oh, for fuck's sake. You going to make me drink green beer?"

"Something like that. And you know that Emmett's coming up here too."

"And coming and coming and coming. He and Sam have really hit it off."

"They have and Sam's never been happier. He's even talking about moving to Pittsburgh. He's an electrical contractor; he can set up shop anywhere."

"Wow, I didn't realize they were that serious. Debbie would be heartbroken if Emmett left the Pitts. She's still having a difficult time adjusting to Hunter not being underfoot and you know how Mikey whines to her all the time."

"I know. God, I am so lucky that John isn't the whiny type."

"Aren't we all. He's too big and if he was whiny, well shit. Listen, big Red, I have clients to dazzle. You make sure the green beer is cold and we'll be up there to drink it."

"Will do."

"Oh and Red..."

"Yeah?"

"The Honey Bear doesn't do a drag St. Paddy's day, do they?"

"No."

"Thank the gods. I'm still recuperating from Valentine's Day."

"I just bet you are. See you Friday night."

"Sure."

******************************************************************

St. Patrick's Day at the Honey Bear was a bit more subdued than Brian had thought it would be. The green beer was flowing, corned beef and cabbage was the specialty of the night, and Irish ditties were playing on the jukebox. The customers were quietly celebrating the day. Brian found it surprisingly relaxing. The three couples were seated around one of the potbellied stoves enjoying the evening and each others' company. As Justin and Emmett went off to dance Brian and John had a brother to brother chat about the wedding.

"So, how are the plans coming along?" Brian ventured.

"Surprisingly well. Bobby conceded about holding it at the stream."

"Hmm."

"You don't seem surprised."

"He did call me."

"I thought so. Have we been bugging you too much?"

"Nah. A day without either one of you calling me is like a day without Sunshine."

"I bet."

"Seriously, John, I don't mind. I just hope I can give you the proper advice. Other than gathering the troops when the munchers were having trouble getting their wedding together, I've never really had any experience with this sort of thing. I leave these things to the experts, like Auntie Em."

"You rang," Emmett chimed in hearing his name.

"Nothing, Emily, just saying that when it comes to planning a party, you certainly are the queen to call."

"Why thank you, Mr. Kinney. I do declare; you're just getting sweeter and sweeter in your old age."

"Cut it out with the old shit, will you. I'm starting to get a complex." Brian scowled.

"What complex, Brian?" Justin's enquiring mind wanted to know as he returned from the bar with another green beer.

"Several of them enjoy reminding me about my advancing age."

"Oh, Brian, you're not getting older, just aging to perfection." Brian leered at Justin as he paraphrased Brian's own compliment that he had once paid Claire.

"Et tu, Sunshine?" The furrows in Brian's brow deepened. Justin plopped himself into Brian's lap, wiggling his rump into Brian's crotch and proceeding to kiss away each crease. In a few minutes Brian was practically purring and all was right in the world again.

The three couples decided they all had had enough of green beer. Emmett and Sam went back to Sam's place. John, Bobby, Brian and Justin went back to the farm for coffee and tea and to go over the current wedding plans.

"So are you going to set the tables out in a big square or are you going to use smaller round tables?" Justin casually asked as he was waiting for the kettle to boil.

"What?!" both John and Bobby asked in unison.

"Uh, oh," Brian groaned, realizing that the affianced couple hadn't thought about the seating arrangements yet.

"The seating arrangements, Bobby. We haven't talked about the seating arrangements."

"Fuck! I don't think my mother can take Debbie longer than in five minute increments. How are we going to seat all those people?"

The decibel level was starting to increase as John and Bobby were beginning to panic. John pulled out some drafting paper and was frantically drawing. Brian and Justin stared at the couple then stole a look at each other. Justin turned off the fire under the kettle and the two eased their way out of the kitchen leaving John and Bobby to their negotiations. Meeting Claire at the stairs as she was attempting to find out what all the noise was about, Brian warned her not to go in the kitchen.

"Claire, for your own safety, go back upstairs. They've just discovered a seating chart."

Claire's eyes widened in horror then she kissed both Brian and Justin and stealthily went back to her room. Turning, she addressed the boys as they were leaving to go back to the cottage.

"See you two in the morning," Claire whispered.

"Okay, and good luck," Justin whispered back as he shut the front door. As they climbed into the Cherokee, Brian and Justin started to giggle.

"A narrow escape, wouldn't you say, Sunshine?"

"Oh yeah. But I feel sorry for Emmett. Any minute now he'll be getting a frantic phone call."

"Oops. Come on, Sunshine. I want another lap dance."

"Coming right up, Mr. Kinney!"

The next morning Brian, Justin and Emmett converged in Claire's kitchen only to find Claire and Hunter standing, gazing at John and Bobby still in their clothes from the previous night and sound asleep with their heads in their arms at the kitchen table.

"I didn't have the heart to wake them. They were arguing well past dawn," Claire admitted.

"The poor babies. I did get a call at about one in the morning but I was a bit indisposed, if you know what I mean." Emmett had the good grace to blush.

Unable to stand all the indecision, Brian led the way.

"Okay troops," Brian softly announced, "I can handle Red, but I'm not risking back surgery carrying John. So here's what I suggest..."

Fifteen minutes later, John and Bobby were snoring in their room, Claire started breakfast and the coffee was brewing.

"Well, that was interesting."

"How do you mean, Emmett?" asked Claire.

"Brian Kinney putting two handsome men to bed without him joining them."

"You know, Emily, I could make you walk back to the Pitts," Brian snarked.

"Sorry, sorry. I meant no offense." Emmett shot back waving his apologies with his arms.

Brian ignored Emmett then turned his attention to Claire. "Claire, you have my sympathies. I just hope you're able to survive the next four months."

"You're always welcome to stay with my mother, if you need a break," Justin offered.

"I may take you up on your offer," Claire answered.

"And leave me here with dumb and dumber, no way. I'd rather sleep in the barn," Hunter exclaimed. They all shared a laugh, finished breakfast and Brian, Justin and Emmett headed back to the relative sanity of Pittsburgh.

******************************************************************

Two days later Emmett got a frantic call from John. The lovers had still not been able to decide what to do about the seating plan and they were both becoming cranky and pissy with each other. John wanted Emmett to do something.

"John, honey," Emmett cooed trying to calm his worried client and friend. "I have the list of guests. I'll work up a tentative plan and bring it up on the weekend."

"But you don't have a car."

"I'll think of something."

"You just want to see Sam."

"Is there anything wrong with bouncing two balls at the same time?"

"And a fine pair of balls they are!"

"Hey, what do you know about Sam's balls?"

"Absolutely nothing, other than what I've observed through his tight jeans."

"Well they are fine," Emmett giggled.

"So we'll see you on the weekend then?"

"Count on it."

As Emmett hung up with John, he immediately dialed another familiar number. "Hey, Justin, sweetie."

Justin frowned on his end of the line. "When you call me sweetie, I know I'm in for it."

Emmett laughed nervously. "I need a big favor."

"You do?"

"Would it be possible for you to drive me up to the Andersons this weekend?"

Justin thought for a moment. "I don't think I have anything pressing to do this weekend. Why do you need to go? Sam needs a booty call?" Justin chuckled.

"I need a booty call," Emmett giggled. "But getting to see Sam is only part of the equation. I just had an emergency call from John. They're still fighting over the seating plan."

"Shit! I thought they'd work something out by now."

"From experience I've learned that if they haven't come to some conclusions by now, I need to step in. I told them I'd make some kind of preliminary plan and we could work from there."

"You know," Justin said thoughtfully. "I've been thinking about the wedding."

"Have you now?"

"If it rains we can use the barn, but it would be cramped."

"Yeah, but we could manage."

"Why not rent one of those big tents?"

"But if it doesn't rain… which is what I'll be praying for."

"Then they can take the sides off and it will be shade for people who don't want to be in the sun all day. We could have all the food under it."

"I think you have something there, Sunshine. Could we get together before you take me up there?"

"I haven't said I'd take you," Justin laughed.

"But you will, won't you?"

"I can hear you batting your eyelashes at me over the phone. That may work with Sam, but not with me."

"Please, Justin."

"I may have to bring the big guy with me."

"That goes without saying. Come over Friday evening and I'll show you what I've come up with, okay?"

"Sure," Justin said as he hung up and headed for his next class.

******************************************************************

On the ride to the Anderson farm Saturday morning, Justin and Emmett discussed the plan they had come up with. They hoped John and Bobby would approve. Brian had decided to stay in Pittsburgh. He was going to look at Babylon and see what the finances involved. Justin thought he better stay out of that.

Bobby and John rushed out as the Cherokee came to a stop. They were all over Emmett ignoring Justin completely. Emmett did his best to calm them, as Claire pulled Justin aside and into the house.

"They're driving me insane. I hope Emmett can fix things," Claire sighed as she poured them coffee and set out a coffee cake she had just taken out of the oven.

"When they realize they're freezing their asses off out there, they'll come in," Justin laughed.

Hunter came down the stairs and sat at the big kitchen table helping himself to a huge slice of the coffee cake. "What?" he asked as Claire and Justin stared at him.

"Couldn't you say hello to Justin before digging in?" Claire asked with a raised eyebrow that told Hunter he was walking a fine line.

"Hey, Justin," Hunter said with his mouth full. Claire shook her head at him. "Where's Brian?"

"Pittsburgh."

"You mean he let you out on your own. I thought you had each other on very short leashes."

"Shows what you know," Justin said not liking Hunter's implication.

Hunter made a face at him, as the three frozen bodies finally decided to come inside.

"Emmett tells me this plan is thanks to you, Justin," Bobby said.

"Only if you like it. If you don't it was all Emmett's idea," Justin laughed.

"Well, we like it. The tent sounds like a great idea. We like the way you spread people out. There were only one or two changes we want to make. The small round tables are much better than the big ones."

"I'm glad you're happy," Emmett said as a car pulled up outside. "I'll be back by eight tonight," Emmett promised as he skipped happily out the door.

"How did he know we'd like his ideas?" John asked.

"He didn't," Justin chuckled. "He called Sam as we got to Harrisburg and told him to come over here. He figured Sam could rescue him if you hated his ideas."

"Emmett's very resourceful I see."

"That's what makes him such a good event planner," Justin said. "Claire I hope you don't mind feeding me for the rest of the day. I'm here until Emmett and Sam come up for air around seven tonight."

"Don't mind at all, Justin. Did you bring your sketchbook?"

"I did."

"Then maybe we can get to work on you know what."

John, Bobby and Hunter stared at Justin who just smiled and continued to eat his coffee cake.