Wedding Bell Blues

Chapter 3

February 2007

The 'after the holidays' life returned to normal. Justin and Hunter were into the Spring semester at their respective colleges. John was on the road a lot. The warmer weather signaled new constructions. And Bobby was gaining more and more clients. His intelligent and compassionate representation for the smaller businesses and charitable organizations was winning him a favorable reputation. Brian and Kinnetik were in full Valentine's Day and Spring campaign mode.

Someone at the ad agency thought it would be a kick to decorate the whole office with red bunting, shiny red hearts and pink and red balloons floating about. All with the express intention of annoying the hell out of Kinnetik's explosive owner and number one ad man.

As the dreaded day drew closer, Brian seemed forever plagued with another reminder. A red rose would make its way onto his desk. A chocolate heart mysteriously appeared in his desk drawer and little cupid shaped plastic confetti littered his private bathroom. That stunt brought forth a roaring 'what the fuck' from Brian and snickers from the female members of his employ.

"Cynthia!"

"You bellowed, boss."

"Get your ass in here, now!"

"Coffee, Brian?"

"No, I do not want a fucking cup of coffee. I want to know why this whole office has gotten bitten by the February 14th bug."

"It's called Valentine's day."

"I know what the fuck it's called. Now answer my question."

"Oh for heaven's sake, lighten up, Brian."

"Cynthia." The boss growled in that way that told his loyal assistant that Brian was in no mood for jokes.

"All right, don't get your thong in a twist."

"You leave my thong out of this. What's going on around here? You'd think this was a playground full of teenaged girls not a legitimate business establishment."

"We're celebrating."

"I can see that."

"No, not just that. We're celebrating you."

"Me? What the fuck do I have to do with this? You know how much I despise this holiday and it isn't a real holiday. It was created by an ad man whose sole purpose is to separate the American male from his hard earned money in order to impress a woman. It has nothing to do with me other than making me angry that I wasn't the one who thought it up in the first place."

"Oh, Brian, that's not true and you know it. Look, after you and Justin got back from your trip last summer you've been nice."

"Nice? I'm always nice."

"Nicer. And if I really think about it, you started your amazing transformation shortly after you found your brother. Something about the Andersons and the Farm. I don't know but we've all noticed it. You're the same Brian Kinney that brings men to their knees and women's hearts all aflutter but you're different. A kinder, gentler Brian Kinney who's not afraid to show a certain young man how much you love him and I'm not just talking about Gus. Who, by the way, beams with pride when he visits here. Brian, all I'm saying is that two years ago none of these decorations would have stood a chance. They've been up since the end of January and it's only now that you've actually started to complain. We've had a bet going and I won."

"You bet on me?" Brian's voice went up an octave as his eyebrows receded into his bangs.

"Yup. We bet on how long it would take you to start screaming about the decorations."

"Huh, you all had a bet."

"Now, do I take all this stuff down?"

"No, leave it. But I would appreciate if someone would rid my bathroom of the confetti. I think I have some of it stuck to my ass."

"Just think of all the fun you'll have when you play search for the cupids with Justin."

"Bitch. By the way, I'm taking off early this Friday. The Honey Bear is having their annual Drag Queen Valentine's Day show this weekend. Since February the 14th falls on a Wednesday this year they decided to hold it the weekend before. I promised Justin, and Emmett wants to go up with us. It seems he may have found a friend at the New Year's party. Bobby arranged an introduction. Plus he wants to do some more work on the wedding"

"That should prove interesting. Make sure you take plenty of pictures. So, what will you be wearing?"

"Wearing?"

"Yes, you know, drag outfit."

"OUT! NOW!" Cynthia left Brian's office giggling in a most unprofessional manner. Brian just shook his head.

Attempting to get back to work after his revealing conversation with Cynthia was proving difficult. Cynthia said he had changed and everyone was aware of it. Brian wasn't at all sure if that was a good thing or not. He didn't think he had changed. Well, not much anyway. He and Justin still hung out with the guys at the diner. They played pool at Woody's and danced the night away at Babylon each Friday night. If he could put a name to it, Brian had to admit he'd never been this content in his whole life. Oh, Justin was still a pain in his ass, but a pain he readily put up with. His relationship with Gus was growing stronger and he even played nice with Melanie. That thought made Brian shudder but he couldn't escape the truth of it. Brian was happy. Shit, when did that happen?

Glancing at his desk clock, Brian noted that Justin would be getting out of his last class by now and heading to his studio. Maybe they could meet for lunch.

"Hey."

"Hey, Bri."

"You done with class?"

"Just finished."

"Can I feed the starving artist before he buries himself in paint at his easel?"

"Sure."

"Meet me at the gate and we'll go to the diner."

"Cool. Later, Bri."

"Later."

Brian grabbed his overcoat as he left his office, stopping at Cynthia's desk to let her in on his plans.

"Cynthia, can you hold down the fort, I'm going to lunch."

"Sure, boss. Going to play search for the cupid with Justin?"

"Bitch! Just going to feed the brat before he goes to his studio."

"Tell him hi for me."

"I will and..."

"I'll take care of it. We wouldn't want anything pink and hard poking your ass, would we."

Brian wouldn't dignify that last remark with a comment; he just growled and wondered when he lost control as the female population giggled as he left the office.

Later that night while watching the evening news Brian had to ask Justin if he thought that he had changed.

"Justin, have you noticed anything different about me lately?"

"Different? In what way?"

"Cynthia said people at the office noticed that I've changed."

"Ah. Did she win the office pool?"

"You knew about that?"

"Well, yeah. She caught me slipping the chocolate heart into your desk. Then she told me you hadn't busted a gut over the decorations yet. And that's when she told me about the bet."

"So, I have changed."

"Only for the better, and I'm very proud of you."

"You are?"

"Of course I am. Brian, I'm still a slob."

"One of your idiosyncrasies?"

"Yes, and you don't blow up about it all the time. A day doesn't go by when John or Bobby hasn't called complaining or venting about the wedding. You've been very patient with them. And you've even been nice when Ben and Michael gush all over each other like newlyweds. You're still Brian Kinney just a nicer Brian Kinney."

"So you don't think I've lost my edge."

"Why, cause you don't do twenty tricks a month anymore. Believe me the boys at Babylon are still all jealous of you, they still want to be you and be done by you. You have nothing to prove anymore. No, I take that back. You're constantly proving something."

"Like what? I'm a washed up domesticated old queen?"

"Not hardly. More like you're a successful beautiful, intelligent man, loving father, who's done more for his community than all of them put together. And you have a hot young partner who keeps you very, very satisfied."

"Huh, so I haven't lost it."

"Nope."

"And they still envy me."

"Yup."

"So you want to play search for the cupids?"

"Oh yeah!"

******************************************************************

On Friday afternoon, Brian, Justin and Emmett left Pittsburgh in Justin's Cherokee to get an early start to the farm. Emmett and Justin had their costumes neatly packed in the back of the Jeep. Emmett was still trying to get Brian to dress up in drag but Brian put an end to that.

"No, Emmett. I will not prance around in women's clothing all night."

"Oh, you'll just watch me do it," Justin shot back at his partner.

"Justin, I've seen what you're going to wear. I need to look menacing to ward off all the men who are going to try to seduce you. I can't do that in a dress."

"Oh, how sweet. The great god Kinney prepared to defend the virtue of his princess. It brings a tear to one's eyes," Emmett gushed and sniffled from the back seat.

Justin stifled a laugh as Brian cursed under his breath and glared into the rearview mirror at Emmett. It was going to be a long drive up to the farm and an even longer weekend.

They were about halfway to Harrisburg when Emmett's phone rang. Brian breathed a sigh of relief. At least for however long the phone call lasted he wouldn't have to listen to Justin and Emmett comparing what they were going to wear to the fucking Valentine's bash. One more comment or tip about mascara or rouge and he was going to slit his fucking throat.

"Hello," Emmett said into his phone. "Oh, hi Bobby. What's up? Yes, I remember what you chose. No, I'm sure it could be changed if you like. But I thought you really wanted the black eyed susans on the tables. They make such a statement. Can't we talk about this when I get there? What does John think? He doesn't care. So what's the big deal? No, no, I'm not making light of the flowers for your wedding. I'll be happy to show you some other possibilities when I get there. See you soon." Emmett closed his cell phone. "What the fuck is going on with Bobby? He's turning into the bride from Hell."

"I think it's called wedding jitters," Brian snorted. "Haven't you run into this before in your line of work?"

"Of course, I have. But it usually happens a few days before the wedding, a week at most, not five fucking months!"

"How upset was he?" Justin asked.

"He's sounding pretty … hysterical."

"Who would have thought that our little hard nosed lawyer could get his panties in a bunch over the flowers for his fucking wedding?" Brian laughed.

"He probably just wants everything to be perfect," Justin observed. "I would."

Brian glanced at his partner wondering what it was that he was hearing in Justin's voice. They would never be doing the whole wedding scenario, but something told him that if they were, Justin would put Bobby's histrionics to shame.

"How much longer till we get there?" Emmett asked.

"A little over half an hour," Brian said.

"Can you step on it? I don't want Bobby freaking out before I can get there to calm him down."

"Jesus, I don't believe all the fucking drama queens that I have to deal with on a daily basis. To say nothing of having them all dress up like fucking women and prance around like the fucking worst examples of the so-called fairer sex. I think I'll just slit my throat now and be done with it." Brian's rant finally came to an end.

Justin and Emmett looked at each other. "Who's the drama queen?" they both said together, and then burst out laughing at Brian's disgusted look.

Brian continued to glower at the two men for the rest of the ride. They didn't dare talk directly to him for fear that he would bite their heads off or stop the car and make them get out. As the Anderson driveway drew into view, they all breathed a collective sigh of relief.

As soon as the car stopped, Bobby rushed out and practically yanked Emmett out of the back seat. He hustled the tall man off to the house to look at wedding flowers while John and Claire greeted Brian and Justin. Hugs were followed by commiseration over having to live with Bobby on a daily basis.

"I love him dearly, but he's driving me insane," John said.

"Can't you talk to him, Claire?" Brian asked.

Claire raised her hands indicating that Brian should back off. "I'm staying out of this and I suggest you all do the same."

"She's right," John agreed. "Whatever we suggest about the wedding will come back to haunt us. I know it."

"I can't stand a whole weekend of this shit," Brian yelled. "Bobby, Emmett, get your fucking asses out here!"

Moments passed and then a silent Bobby and Emmett emerged from the screen porch. They stared at Brian.

"I am fucking freezing my balls off here," Brian began. "I have to escort you ladies to the Valentine's ball, so fucking act like ladies. Enough of this shit. You have five fucking months to work this all out. It does not have to be decided right now. Do . I . Make . Myself . Clear ?"

"Yes, Brian."

"Yes, Brian."

"Then let's get this show on the road. I need a drink and one of Claire's fine meals."

"Yes, Brian," Claire said with a chuckle. "Big, bad Brian to the rescue."

"Big bad Brian does have his uses," Brian replied putting his arm around Claire's waist as they made their way into the house.

******************************************************************

"Emmett, are you done yet? I need to fix my lipstick."

"Justin, sweetie, will you please hold your fucking horses! Some of us need a little extra time to create perfection."

"Emmett you've been in there for hours. The bathroom has the only full length mirror in the cottage, now get your flaming ass out of there. Now! I need to get dressed."

"Shit." Emmett emerged from the bathroom and began cursing as the little princess flew past him, slamming the bathroom door in his wake. "Brian, I do believe that boy has learned way too much from you. The little bitch."

"Hey, that's my little bitch you're bitching about. Honestly, I've never seen him this nervous before. And who are you supposed to be?" Brian stared at the tall queen who was wearing a pink and black dress with thigh high, stiletto heeled black boots. On Emmett's head was an auburn shoulder length curly wig.

"Don't you know anything?" Emmett stared at Brian as if it was obvious what character he was.

"Pretend like I don't. Who or what are you supposed to be?"

"Julia Roberts in 'Pretty Woman'."

"Oh. Isn't that the movie where she played the whore, right?"

"Yes."

"Well, if the boots fit..."

"You know, Mr. Kinney, considering your not so distant past, that's like the pot calling the kettle black."

Brian was about to slam Emmett verbally as well as possibly physically when Justin came out of the bathroom. Both men stood thunderstruck at the vision before them.

"Do I look okay?" Justin said to the stunned men.

"Baby, you are gorgeous. Miss Monroe herself would have to admit that."

"Brian? Do you like it?"

Brian remained speechless. Justin was dressed in a white halter dress, he had a little padding in the bra but it was subtle. The light from the bathroom made the white dress almost translucent, Brian could see Justin's pert ass stuffed into white lace panties. The platinum blond wig was almost superfluous, even without it Justin was stunning. The white mule slides on Justin's feet completed the whole effect. Justin's finger and toe nails were painted a pale pink which perfectly matched his pale pink lipstick. He smelled like a floral bouquet, very lightly scented as not to overpower the nose but it took Brian's breath away.

"Brian?" Justin asked again, unsure if Brian's silence meant he hated it or liked it.

"Justin, you're the most beautiful creature I've ever seen."

"I am?" Justin asked as his smile lit up the cottage.

"Fuck, yeah." Brian's look of adoration quickly faded.

"What's wrong, Brian?"

"We're not going."

"What!?" Both Justin and Emmett shouted.

"Read my lips, we are not going. Do you think I am going to spend the whole night fighting off every fag in a fifty mile radius? No. No. NO! Julia over here can go with my blessings, Marilyn stays here with me."

Emmett was about to defend his princess but Justin held up a dainty hand. He glided to his lover who, even with Justin in heels was a head taller in his Pradas.

"Brian," Justin whispered in a voice that would have made Marilyn Monroe proud, "Brian, please, I'd really like to go. I promise never to leave your side. I'll only drink bottled water that you get for me so I won't get drunk. I only have eyes for you. No one will tear me away from you. I know you'll protect me."

Brian gazed into the eyes that reflected the sky and he knew he could never refuse Justin anything. Brian also knew he was so fucked. He loudly sighed.

"Okay, ladies, get your coats. I'll pull the car as close as I can to the door. Let's get this show on the road. And please don't make me regret this."

"We won't." Justin and Emmett said as one.

Brian was shaking his head as he went to get the car. He already was regretting it.