Wedding Bell Blues
Chapter 15
June 9, 2007
"Please pick up, Brian, pleeez, pick up."
"Who the fuck are you and this better be good."
"Who is it, Bri?"
"Shh, go back to sleep."
"'k."
"Brian, it's me, Emmett."
"What time is it?"
"Early."
"How early?"
"Too early."
"Emmett..."
"Don't ask and I won't tell. We have a problem, a very big problem."
"And it involves me, how?"
"Because you're the man with all the answers and I need your help."
"I thought Sam took care of that problem yesterday."
"Brian, normally I'd have a witty retort but I don't have the time. My specialty chef just called me. We were supposed to get together and start working on the hors d'oeuvres. They're all freezable, then I bring them up with me next week. The local caterer will store them until the wedding."
"Yeah, so."
"So, he's not allowed to touch food for the next two weeks."
"What!?"
"He caught a virus or something and now he can't do any cooking. Brian, what am I going to do? I'm not worried about the buffet; the local guy is handling that but all my canapés and hors d'oeuvres. There's thousands of them; I can't do it on my own. I need help."
"Where were you planning to prepare them?"
"I made a deal with the diner. Since I wanted to do it myself I asked the owner if I could rent out the kitchen. And I, uh, dropped your name."
"Why?"
"I thought he'd do it as a favor to you."
"Uh huh and what is this going to cost me?"
"Well, I know you're able to get premium tickets for games and shows and things."
"I'll deal with that later. Did you ask Debbie?"
"Debbie?"
"Yes, you know Debbie, short woman, red hair, loud mouth, right hook like Ali."
"Do you think she'd do it?"
"Drop my name and find out."
"Asshole. I think I'll still need more help. Chris and I have a good working relationship; we know how to work as a team. It'll take longer with Debbie."
"Ask Jennifer, she knows how to cook. Put them together and show them what to do. Claire will help."
"But Claire's up with you."
"Ah, but John has a fax in his home office. Call over to the farm; I'm sure Claire's awake. Fax her the canapé recipes you want her to work on. We can get the Honey Bear to store them."
"Brian, I take it back. You're not an asshole. And sometimes you're down right human."
"Don't spread any vicious rumors. Now get to work and let me go back to sleep. Oh and the next time I see you, you better have canapés and our suits."
"Yes, master."
"Bri, what's going on? The sun's not even up yet."
"Don't you worry your pretty little blond head about it. Just another crisis and old Brian to the rescue. And before you say it, don't. Just go back to sleep."
"Okay. Brian?"
"Hmm, you are a good man, you know."
"Shh, sleep now, lot's of fucking later."
"Mmm, later."
******************************************************************
When Brian and Justin finally arrived at the big house Claire had all kinds of bags of flour and baking soda and God knows what sitting out on the kitchen counter.
"I see Emmett got through to you," Brian observed.
"Emmett?" Justin reacted. "Was that who woke us up last night, I mean this morning?"
"Yep."
"And you didn't reach through the phone and pull his nuts off."
Brian frowned. "That's what I should have done! I must be slipping."
"Brian, be nice," Claire admonished. "He was having a major queen out."
"You've certainly learned how to identify those," Brian smirked.
"Ever since this whole wedding idea started there's one almost daily. I'm hoping if and when they are finally married, I will never need to think of that term again," Claire said with a rueful chuckle.
"Not going to happen," Brian replied. Claire raised an eyebrow. "Even when they're married, they'll still be a pair of big old queens."
"To say nothing of you two and Emmett, and I'm not too sure about Hunter," Claire laughed.
"So do you have everything you need to make these fucking horse duvers," Brian chuckled.
"God no," Claire said. "I was just laying out all the things I have, but some of these recipes require exotic stuff. And these are supposed to be the simple ones."
"Poor Debbie," Brian chuckled.
"Why poor Debbie?" Justin asked
"Emmett's taking her to the diner late tonight to help him make his hors d'oeuvres. I suggested your mother too."
"Oh my God!"
"Yeah, it ought to be a barrel of laughs," Brian laughed.
"You are wicked." Brian just smirked.
"Could you boys come into Harrisburg with me today? I could use a hand picking up all this stuff."
"Where's everybody else?" Brian asked.
"With all this rain they are way behind in planting over at the farm. The ground's finally dry enough to get the tractors on it, so they're all over there working the fields."
"Why didn't they ask us?" Brian frowned.
"Brian, you may be able to do a lot of things, but handling farm equipment isn't one of them."
"True," Brian had to admit.
"So come into town with me, you two."
"Sure."
"I'll have the two handsomest escorts Harrisburg's ever seen. The women will be drooling."
"Why Claire, you're a woman after my own heart. Let's go," Brian said.
"At least sit down and have some coffee and toast first. Justin, I'll fix you some eggs."
Claire had really learned so much from these men that had come into her life. She wondered if the time would come when things would return to the way they had been before Justin began his Sunshine Files. She sincerely hoped not. A smile crossed her face as she cracked the eggs for her boys.
It was later on in the afternoon when Brian and Justin returned to the big house after making some final arrangements at the local B & B. Claire had dough rising and pots bubbling. As soon as they walked through the door, she handed each of them a mug of coffee and started barking out orders. Justin was in charge of stirring the pots, and Brian had to cut up vegetables for toppings on the hors d'oeuvres.
After several hours of stirring and chopping, Claire began to assemble tray after tray of the little concoctions. Brian and Justin had their toppings to add to each one.
When it seemed like they had to finally be finished, Claire pulled out another tray.
"Fuck!" Brian reacted. "My back is killing me from bending over this table. Could I please step outside and see if a passing plow would cut me into a million pieces."
"Queen out," Claire said matter-of-factly.
Justin giggled and Brian groaned.
"This tray is for sandwiches for the farmhands," she laughed. "The hors d'oeuvres are finished and your help was much appreciated."
"You're welcome I guess," a relieved Brian replied.
"Now, I need you boys to drive all these trays over to the Honey Bear to be frozen."
"Are you coming with us?"
"No, the car will be full. Don't set any of them on top of each other."
"We'll try," Justin said picking up a tray.
"You better do more than try, unless you want to be making more of these things on the morning of the wedding."
"Handle them like they are my balls," Brian smirked.
"You mean ball, don't you?"
"Cruel, Sunshine, very cruel."
Claire laughed. "You two!"
"What are you going to be doing while we're gone?" Brian asked.
"Making sandwiches for the hungry horde, including both of you."
"Don't work too hard," Brian said kissing her cheek and making her blush.
Claire smiled as the boys began carrying out the trays.
******************************************************************
June 10, 2007
"Please pick up, Brian, pleeez, pick up."
"Who the fuck are you and this better be fucking good."
"Who is it, Bri?"
"Shh, go back to sleep."
"'k."
"Brian, it's me, Emmett."
"What the fuck time is it?"
"Early."
"Emmett I am personally going to reach up your ass and pull your goddam balls out. What the fuck do you want this time?"
"I'm at the diner with Debbie and Jennifer and Edna."
"At four-thirty in the morning?" Brian asked with a frown.
"We had to use the diner kitchen when it was a slow time. Two AM was our starting point."
"So why are you annoying me with this idiotic piece of information?"
"We … um … we got most of the hors d'oeuvres made, but Edna brought a bottle of gin with her."
"What the fuck is Edna doing there anyway?"
"She wanted to help."
"By bringing a bottle? You really should choose your help more carefully," Brian chuckled.
"Brian, I do not appreciate your frivolous attitude towards this problem. I have three very drunk ladies here. They won't help me clean up and they won't go home. They're just sitting on stools laughing their collective asses off."
"That's not a visual I needed," Brian said running his hands through his hair. "How did they get so drunk on a bottle of gin?"
"Apparently Debbie snuck out and got a second bottle at the all-night liquor down the street."
"Just how drunk are they?"
"I don't believe they can stand up."
"And what am I supposed to do about this?"
"You suggested that I bring them here. How am I going to get them home?"
"Call Carl."
"What?"
"You heard me. Call Carl. If he's working maybe he'll send a squad car to shuttle them home or if he's sleeping wake him up and he'll help you pour them into his car. If all else fails, call Theodore."
"You just want everybody to hate me for waking them up in the middle of the night."
"Of course I fucking do, since I hate you for waking ME up in the middle of the fucking night!"
"Night, Brian," Emmett said as he hung up.
"Fucking good night to you too, and never call me again."
Brian set the phone down knowing Emmett had not heard his last words.
"Is everything all right?" Justin asked turning over.
"Go back to sleep, Sunshine. You're going to need all your stamina for when I fuck you senseless in the morning."
"'k."