The Birth of the Bree

Brian sat in the waiting room of the maternity ward. He was holding some lame magazine in his hands, pretending occasionally to look at it. His thoughts were definitely elsewhere.

Somewhere down the hall, in some room filled with pain and women's things was the woman who was giving birth to Justin's daughter. They had known it was a girl at about six months along in the pregnancy. Justin had been thrilled and had started to decorate the nursery for the new addition to their lives. Brian had helped when he had to, but his heart had truly not been in it. He had agreed to the pregnancy because it was what Justin wanted. What Brian wanted had taken a back seat to Justin's wishes. He had only wanted to make his husband happy.

So here he sat waiting for the new little bundle that would forever change his and Justin's life. He just wished he were better prepared for what was to come. Everyone thought that because he was already a father, he would be able to handle this without any problems. And that was what he let them think, but in his heart he knew differently.

As much as he loved Gus now, he knew that wasn't the case when Gus had been born. He had merely been the sperm donor, and that was all he ever intended to be. He knew nothing about being a father, especially based on the fine role model that his own fucking father had been.

Brian had even been stoned when he had been summoned to the hospital to see his new son, and he had for some unfathomable reason, dragged Justin along with him. That had been the beginning of the biggest change in his life. He could never really get rid of Justin Taylor after that, and somewhere along the line he had stopped wanting to get rid of him. Now he needed him with his whole heart and soul. He couldn't conceive of a life without Justin. And now there would be a baby.

Their baby! A daughter. A little girl who was going to depend on them for everything. He couldn't hand her over to Lindsay like he had done with Gus. He was going to have to be with her every day from now on. There would be feedings and waking up in the middle of the night, and not in order to get his dick sucked. And then there were diapers. He was so not looking forward to that. Justin had made him promise to help with everything. And Brian had agreed. It was a long time since he had denied Justin anything, so he had given in and said he would feed the baby and bathe her and burp her and take her for walks … and change the damn diapers. He had promised all those things, but he wasn't the least bit sure that he could do any of them.

What the fuck did he know about babies … or little girls … or being a father? Gus has turned out to be a great kid, but he couldn't really take any credit for that. It had been his mothers who had raised him. The last few years he had spent more and more time with his son. He loved Gus so much. But this new baby would be with them all day every day for the next eighteen years … at least.

Brian let out an audible moan. Several people turned to look at him. He nervously flipped some pages of the magazine and then dropped it onto the end table. There was no point in pretending that he was actually interested in the fucking thing.

He stood up and stretched. He looked at his watch and realized he had been sitting there for almost two hours. Justin had been with Celeste all that time. Brian had decided that it was best he stay out in the waiting room, even though Justin had asked him to be part of the birth. He had hoped to get some of his thoughts and misgivings sorted out, but all he had managed to do was increase his anxiety level a hundred fold.

He needed a fucking cigarette. He needed some satisfying anonymous sex. He needed some drugs to take the edge off and help relax him. He needed a good stiff drink … or a good stiff cock. It didn't matter which. But he had given up all his tried and true pain management methods … because Justin had wanted him to. Justin had never openly asked him to forego any of those things, but when it became apparent that Justin really didn't want him to do any of that, he had given them up, one after the other. And truthfully he didn't miss them. Until now!

How the fuck was he going to look after a little girl? He had suggested hiring a nanny, but Justin wanted them to do this themselves. He wanted their daughter to be a product of their lives, not being influenced by some outsider who spent more time with her than they did. So again, Brian had agreed. He needed his head read. He couldn't do any of this. He was sure that he would fuck it up, probably the first time he touched their daughter. Then he would be blamed for the rest of his life for scarring her and ruining her life. Just like he had been scarred by good old Jack and Joan. Fuck! This was going to be a disaster.

Brian walked down the hall to the coffee machine. He put in some money hoping that a jolt of caffeine would get him through the next hours until the baby was born. He had no idea what would get him through the next eighteen years.

One sip of the coffee made Brian want to gag. He dumped the cup and its contents in the nearest garbage bin and headed back to the waiting room. He hadn't told anyone else that they had been called to the hospital. All he would need right now was his fucked up family coming there to bill and coo and tell him what an asshole he was, and that he better shape up for his new daughter.

His daughter! This baby would be his daughter too. That realization was just beginning to hit him. They already had all the papers ready so Brian could adopt her as soon as she was born. Briana Victoria Kinney-Taylor would be his as well as Justin's. It had all seemed so remote, so far into the future, when he had signed all those papers. But tonight it would all become real. They would have their little bundle and she would come home with them, never to leave.

Brian slumped down into a different chair in the waiting room. It was now over two hours. How the fuck long did it take to have this baby? Brian knew that labors could last days, but they had taken Celeste into the delivery room a long time ago.

Maybe something was wrong. What if the baby wasn't all right? What if the baby died or was deformed? What if something went horribly wrong?

No, he wouldn't think like that. Everything was fine. The doctor and the sonograms had all said everything was fine. Then what the fuck was taking so long?

"Mr. Kinney?" a nurse said from the doorway.

Brian leapt up and followed her to a room down the hall. Celeste was resting in a bed and Justin was sitting in a chair nearby holding a little wrapped bundle.

"Is … is everything all right?" Brian asked as he rushed into the room.

"Come meet our daughter, Brian," Justin said looking at the bundle he held in his arms. "She's perfect." His radiant smile matched the one on Celeste's face.

Brian walked over to Justin who handed him their daughter. She was all wrapped in pink and her big blue eyes looked up at him. He held her tenderly out in front of him. The blue eyes clouded over and she looked like she was going to start crying. Brian felt a moment of panic. What would he do with her if she cried?

"Welcome to the world, little one," he whispered.

She studied him, or seemingly so, listening to his words. The blue eyes cleared and she reached her hand up touching his nose, just like Gus had done.

And that was when he lost his heart and his soul and his whole being to Briana Victoria Kinney-Taylor.

-end Snippet #5

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