A Visit to the Zoo with a Five Month Old

"Brian, are you sure you want to do this?"

"I'm sure."

"Really?"

"I said I'm fucking sure!"

"Okay, okay, let's get her ready then," Justin said trying to mollify Brian. He had no idea under God's green earth why Brian had decided that he should accompany him and Bree to the Pittsburgh Zoo. Justin had thought it might be a nice day for an outing in the fresh air and had mentioned his intention of taking Bree to the zoo. Brian had immediately said he would come too.

"Do we really need all this stuff?" Brian asked eyeing the huge pink bag covered in fluorescent pink elephants and stuffed full of every baby product known to man … or woman.

"You can carry the bag," Justin said smugly.

"I don't fucking think so. I intend to carry the lady of the hour." Brian chucked Bree's chin. She kicked her little feet and smiled at her Dada.

"Okay, then wear this." Justin thrust the little pink baby carrier into Brian's hands.

"What the fuck is this?"

"You put it over your shoulders and she rides in front of you on your chest like this," Justin said positioning the bright pink sack on Brian's chest.

"Stop fucking with me. She can go in her stroller," Brian said indignantly.

"I intended to wear the carrier myself but … since you want to come with us."

"You could still wear it," Brian said starting to pull it off his shoulders.

"Then you'll have to carry the baby bag," Justin said matter-of-factly.

"Fuck!" Brian reacted. "I'll carry the Squirt."

"Okay, she's in her car seat now and we might as well get started."

Brian looked at Bree whose blue eyes followed everything her fathers were doing. She gurgled happily as Brian picked up the car seat ready to carry her out to the SUV.

Some time later they parked the car at the entrance to the zoo and made their way inside. Brian had Bree strapped to his chest using the little pink carrier sack. Justin smiled as he looked at his two favorite people in the whole world. Brian had his hand protectively against Bree's back as they looked at the map of the zoo deciding where to start.

"Apes," Brian said.

"Think you'll see somebody you know?"

"You never know," Brian snarked as they walked to the monkey enclosure.

Brian and Justin stood watching the monkeys for a while.

"That one reminds me of Emmett," Justin laughed. "See how he's preening and combing through the hair of that other one."

"Ever wonder if they look at us and say, 'That guy out there reminds me of fucking Cheetah'?"

"Who's Cheetah?"

"Christ, the chimp in the old Tarzan movies."

"Oh," Justin replied without really getting the point. Brian and his old movies! "Want to go see the polar bears?"

"I've seen my share of bears in this lifetime," Brian snorted.

Justin chuckled. "I just bet you have. How about the elephants?"

"Too much flab to suit me."

"Giraffes?"

"Now you're talking," Brian said. They walked along the paths until they could see the heads of the tall animals come into view over the fence."

"Being so high up there must give them a unique perspective on the world," Justin said.

"Yeah, if their brain wasn't the size of a pea."

"Are you saying they're not smart?"

"Most animals aren't very smart. They know survival … and that's all. Some of them aren't even very good at that."

"Shall we do the lions and tigers next?"

"Why not?" Brian asked. "Bree's slept through all of the other animals."

"She likes it there on your chest. She can feel your heart beating and it lulls her to sleep," Justin explained.

Brian looked down at his sleeping princess. She was so small and so beautiful. He felt such love well up in his heart. He cleared his throat. "Even if she does have to be hauled around in this god awful pink contraption."

"Debbie gave us that."

"Why am I not surprised? I'm buying a stylish black one tomorrow."

Justin chuckled. "You know Debbie will smack you upside the head if you don't use the one she gave you."

"Fuck Debbie!"

"Ew, Brian!"

"Isn't she adorable," a lady's voice broke into their conversation. "How old is she?"

"Five months and three days," Brian stated proudly.

"She's so sweet. What a beautiful little girl."

"I know," Brian added.

The woman gave him a look. "It's nice to see a father at the zoo with his child. It's often us mothers who get that job." She was pushing a little boy in a stroller.

"She looks like you," the woman said looking at Justin.

"You should see her smile," Brian replied. "There's no doubting who her father is then."

"Are you two a couple?"

Justin watched Brian's face tighten in warning. "Yeah, you got a problem with that?" Brian wanted to know.

"Heck no! I think it's wonderful."

"You do?" Brian asked with a frown. He was very surprised by that reaction.

"You have a lovely family," the woman said as she pushed the stroller and headed down the path.

"Well I'll be fucked!" Brian said.

"You certainly will, when we get home," Justin laughed.

Brian raised an eyebrow. "I was sure she was going to make some derogatory comment," Brian stated.

"I know you were. That vein in your forehead was pulsing."

"I do not have a vein that pulses in my forehead," Brian said indignantly.

"Look at the tigers, Ollie," Justin giggled.

"Okay, Stan," Brian chuckled pleased that Justin had made a reference to the old time comic movie team.

"How's Bree doing?"

"Still sleeping. What's the point of bringing her to the zoo when all she does is sleep?"

"She wouldn't remember the zoo even if she was awake."

"Fuck! I don't get it," Brian griped, emitting a lengthy sigh.

"She gets some fresh air and we get to hear that we're the luckiest parents in the world to have our beautiful little girl," Justin explained patiently.

"Okaaay," Brian said with a raised brow. "Then we've met both criteria. Let's go home and fuck."

"Okay," Justin said cheerily. That would be the perfect ending to a day at the zoo.

:End of Snippet #15

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