Chapter 8 

"Michael," Brian said as he walked through the door of the comic book shop.

Michael was in the process of closing up and had been going to lock the door in just a minute or two. "I should have locked the door sooner to keep the vermin out," he spat at Brian.

"Been a while since I was called that."

"Yeah, but a leopard never changes its spots. Once an asshole, always an asshole."

"I didn't come here to fight with you, Michael. I came to tell you that I had reasons for what I did at the hospital. Hunter was my priority that day, and he needed Steve."

"You are so full of shit! Hunter needed his fathers, but you saw to it that he didn't have them."

"Have you talked to Hunter about this?" Brian asked with a sigh.

"No, the poor kid is still recovering. I didn't want to upset him."

"But you relish upsetting me and everyone else in your fucking family."

"Like anything ever upsets you. You're perfect, you have everything under control and you control everything. Must be nice to be God."

"God? Are you fucking kidding?"

"How would you feel, Brian, if someone kept you away from Gus when he was in the hospital, especially when the person keeping you away is supposed to be your best friend? What if Bree was in the hospital … dying? How would you feel then?"

Brian felt like he had been kicked in the gut. Michael always knew where to insert the knife to do the most damage. Brian felt his fists ball up and he felt like he did that day that Michael had said Brian should have left Justin on the cold concrete floor of that parking garage. He opened his mouth to say something, to curse Michael to Hell and back. Instead he bit back the sharp words and said, "Justin and Bree are waiting outside in the car. We're going home. I suggest you go home too, while you still have a family to go home to."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Michael demanded.

Brian merely turned and walked to the door. He gave Michael a last sad look before opening it.

"Come back here and explain what you mean by that. Do you hear me?" Michael practically screamed. All he heard was the resounding crash as the door shook on its hinges from the force of Brian slamming it behind him.

"Justin, you better drive," Brian said as he yanked open the passenger door of the SUV.

"Sure," Justin said as he got out and started to walk around the car to the driver's side. The pallor of Brian's face and the dark smoke of his eyes told him not to question what Brian wanted him to do.

"Brian!" Michael yelled as he came out of the store.

"Shut the fuck up, Michael! Just shut up! Get going, Justin," Brian ordered as they each slammed their doors.

Justin gunned the SUV and they careened off down the street.

"What just happened?" Justin asked.

"I don't want to talk about it," Brian whispered. His face had gone even whiter. He closed his eyes and leaned his head against the headrest.

"Dada, what's wrong? Dada, Dada, Dada, please," Bree cried. She wore a look of terror on her little face as she struggled to get out of her car seat. She knew something was very wrong.

"I'm sorry if I scared you, Bree. It'll be all right," Brian whispered. He felt so exhausted, so empty.

"Want me to stop the car?" Justin asked.

"I want to go home to the cottage and never leave it again," Brian said as a tear ran down one cheek.

"Brian…" Justin said concern evident in his voice.

Brian shook his head. "I can't talk about it."

Bree whimpered quietly in her car seat. She wanted to hug her Dada. She knew something really big was wrong. She struggled to get out of her seat. She wasn't getting anywhere until she remembered the button that her fathers always pushed when they were taking her out of the car. Her fingers found it and she pushed hard. The harness snapped back and she was free. She pushed herself out of her seat and climbed across the space between the front seats. She wrapped her little arms around her Dada's neck and held on as tight as she could.

"Bree…" Justin said about to chastise his daughter for getting out of her seat. Then he realized that Bree was just what Brian needed. Brian's arms had come around the little body and they were both holding on with everything they had.

*****

"Mel, good evening," Danny said as Melanie opened the door of her house to the grandfather of her child.

"Come in."

"Twice in one week," Danny said with a wave of his hand. He couldn't believe that Melanie had invited him over once again. "Where's JR?"

"Up in her room."

Danny frowned. "Did you want to talk to me about something?"

"Yes, I still have some reservations about your relationship with my daughter. She's really growing to love you."

"And that's a bad thing?" Danny asked with a raised brow. "I love her right back. She's a lovely little girl."

"Are you in this for the long haul?" Melanie asked deciding to be blunt. "Or are you going to tire of having her around somewhere down the line."

"I could never tire of that sweet child," Danny declared.

"I'm going to hold you to that."

"May I ask what brought this on?"

"Hunter."

"Hunter?"

"With what happened to him, it made me think about JR being sick. Is there anything in your family history that I should know about?"

"Nothing that would affect JR," Danny said thoughtfully. "Unless it's the gay gene, but she has plenty of places to acquire that from."

"That's not what I meant."

"I know, but most of my family were healthy as horses and lived good long lives."

"That's good to know," Melanie said. "JR, your grandfather is here," she called up the stairs.

*****

Brian and Justin were sitting at the kitchen table at the cottage. Bree was sitting on Brian's lap feeding him pieces of chicken off the plate in front of them. Brian was silent but he would open his mouth when Bree held a piece of chicken to his lips. He chewed each piece slowly letting his daughter take care of him. Every once in a while Bree would ask if he was feeling better and Brian would nod. Some of the color was returning to Brian's face. Justin was dying to know what Michael had said to trigger such a severe reaction in Brian, but he knew better than to ask, knew better than to bring up the subject. Brian would have to do that.

Bree picked up the napkin off the table and wiped Brian's lips. That elicited a smile from the man. Who could resist Nurse Briana?

"Better, Dada?" she asked.

"Yes, Squirt, I'm doing better."

"Don't get sick like Hunter, 'kay?"

"I won't."

"Want me to make you a card?" Bree asked thinking that might cheer her Dada up.

Brian looked over at Justin and saw the worried look on his face. "That would be nice, Squirt. Would you go make me a card now?"

"Sure, Dada," Bree said as she slid off his knee and ran to the sun porch.

"Are you really okay?" Justin asked.

"Yeah."

"What the fuck happened with Michael?"

"He … said some things."

"What things?"

"Nothing worth repeating."

"Brian, I'm going to find out eventually. You might as well tell me. It might help to talk about it."

Brian shook his head. "I should have let Michael go in to see Hunter in the hospital."

"I thought you said Hunter asked for Steve?"

"He did."

"Then you did what Hunter wanted. What else could you have done?"

"I didn't realize Michael was so upset. I was worried about Hunter," Brian said gently.

"Hunter's the one who was in the hospital. It should be him that you're worried about, not fucking Michael."

"But Michael is his father."

"Tell me what he said to you!"

"He said … how would I feel if my best friend kept me from Gus in the hospital or from Bree if she was … dying?" The last word was barely audible.

"He did not say that!" Justin demanded to know, disbelief written all over his face. "I'm fucking going to rip his balls off. Bloody idiot! Fucking asshole!" Justin ranted.

"I'm the asshole."

"You are not! I'm not going to New York. I'm going to set that bastard straight and I'm staying here with you."

"That won't do any good. We'll go to New York. It will all blow over eventually."

"I don't want it to blow over," Justin said. "Michael has gone too far this time."

"But he's also right. I would feel betrayed if he did that to me. I should have realized."

"Nobody's perfect, Brian. We all make mistakes. You only did what you thought was right. You didn't set out to hurt Michael … the way he hurt you."

"Michael says I am ... perfect. According to him I have the world at my beck and call. I can do whatever I want with their lives."

"Is he completely nuts?"

"He's right. I should have known better."

"Will you stop saying that? I'm going to call Hunter and ask him to speak to Michael, set him straight."

"Don't waste your breath. Michael won't believe it."

Justin sighed as Bree came running back into the kitchen.

"Here, Dada," she said proudly handing him a crookedly folded piece of paper.

Brian took the paper and looked at the rainbow she had drawn on the front with her signature black and brown stripes. "Pretty," Brian whispered.

Bree smiled. "Open it."

Brian opened the paper to find a little figure with yellow hair hugging a bigger figure with brown hair. Around them was what Brian deciphered to be a heart. Brian felt tears well up. The thought of losing Bree cut his own heart into little shreds.

"I love it. Thank you, Squirt," Brian said picking her up and hugging her close.

"Love you too, Dada."

"Make that three," Justin added as he hugged them both.

*****

"I made you a card, Grandpa," JR said as she came down the stairs carrying a piece of paper.

"You did?" Danny smiled with sheer pleasure. "I've received many cards from admirers over the years, but I don't think I've ever had one made especially for me."

"Here," JR said handing him the paper.

On the front was a drawing of what could only be Divina Devore in one of her flamboyant gowns and wigs. Danny smiled.

"Open it."

Danny lifted the paper and found a drawing of a man with brown hair being hugged by a smaller figure with brown hair. "Is this you and me?"

JR nodded. "I put the heart around us because I love you and you love me," she explained proudly.

"And I love your card," Danny said pulling his granddaughter into a hug that matched the one on the card.

*****

"Is she down?" Justin asked as he came out of the bathroom from his shower.

"Yeah, she wouldn't let go of my hand. I had to pry it out of hers when she fell asleep."

"She was really worried about you … and so was I," Justin admitted.

"I'm feeling better. I think Michael made me face the specter of losing my children. It's something I never want to contemplate, let alone deal with."

"Fucking Michael!"

Brian shook his head. "It's good to know I have you and Bree to look after me," Brian tried to smile.

"Let's go to bed and I'll make love to you all night long."

"All night long?" Brian asked his smile broadening.

"All night long."

Brian pulled Justin against him and just held on. It was quite a while before they ever got to the love making part.

*****

"Michael! What are you doing here?" Hunter asked his dad when he opened the door.

"Is it too late?" Michael entered his son's loft, looking around. It reminded him a lot of Brian's.

"No, it's not that late. You want some coffee or something?"

"No thanks. Is Nick home?"

"No, he's pulling a late shift at the hospital."

"But I thought he works in the research lab."

"He does but he likes to keep up his people skills so he pulls an ER shift once or twice a month. The staff likes it 'cause they catch a break and he keeps in touch with reality."

"Oh, I guess that makes sense."

"Michael, why are you here? Is something wrong? Is Ben okay?"

"Everyone's fine, I just needed to know something." Michael sat on the couch then took a deep breath. He looked up at Hunter who was wearing a puzzled expression. "Why did you tell Brian to get Steve when you woke up, instead of me or Ben? We're your fathers." Michael was hurt and he couldn't keep the hurt out of his voice.

"I'm so sorry, Michael...Dad. I was...I felt like I let everyone down, you, Nick, Ben, Brian. You all have such high opinions of me. I couldn't face you. Steve has seen me at my worst, when death was a happy alternative."

"Hunter! No." Michael was suddenly frightened and guilty. He had used the thought of death of one's child against Brian not hours prior.

"It's okay, Michael; it was a long time ago. Steve and Bill got me through it. I needed them to get me through again."

"And Brian?"

"What about him?"

"It's like you always prefer him to me. You'll hang out with him but not me. Why?"

"Michael, can you hear yourself? That sounds ridiculous. I don't hang out with him. I'd have to drive over an hour to do that. He's my friend, Michael, my friend and a mentor of sorts. I owe him my loyalty just like I owe you and Ben my life. I love you, Mikey, you're my dad. No one can take your place in my heart, no one."

Hunter got down on his knees in front of Michael to give him a hug.

"But I want you to be able to come to me if you need something," Michael whispered into his son's hair.

"I can come to you and I am. I'm going to face my worse fears on Friday and I'll need you and the family there for support. Can you do that for me?"

"Yes, I'll be there for you, I'll be there."

Father and son clung to each other for a very long time.

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