Listen to Your Heart

Chapter 3

“Dad,” Gus began, “it’s JR,” Gus said as he held out his phone toward Brian.

Brian took the phone from Gus and spoke, “JR, you’re on speaker.  We’re here, sweetheart, we’re all here; what’s going on?”  Whatever strength or bravado JR may have had before vanished the moment she heard Brian’s voice. 

“Oh, Uncle Brian,” JR cried as everything came pouring out.  She was speaking so fast in between sobbing that Brian hardly knew what she was saying.  Throw in the fact that Brian was never able to handle crying women well, he was getting angry and very frustrated.  All he heard was Michael’s “forced” discharge, Grandma Debbie looking like she was on death’s door, and Carl’s exhaustion.  Brian’s rage was growing, and he was about to blow.

“Jenny Rebecca!” Ben boomed, shocking JR into silence.  “It’s all right, we’ll figure out the correct course of action,” he continued in a gentler fashion.

Then he turned to face Brian, placing his muscular body directly in front of his friend. Ben’s mass seemed to create a barrier between Brian and the chaos.  Ben looked into the darkening hazel eyes. He slowly rested his hands on Brian’s shoulders, making sure he had Brian’s full attention.

“It’s okay, I’ve been in touch with the hospital and have been receiving progress reports from Michael’s doctors,” Ben said.  Brian arched a brow.  Ben rolled his eyes.  “Yes, yes, and got confirmation from our Dr. Nick,” Ben added, hoping Brian’s reaction meant the rage was fading.  The brow arched again.  Ben sighed.  “At dinner, I review the updates at dinner,” Ben stated.  “Have to restoke the furnace some time,” Ben whispered.  Brian smirked.

“It’s time; he’s stable.  We have to get him out of there before he catches something that will make him really sick and set him back further,” Ben stated seriously and louder.

“But…” Brian began.

“I know he’s not ready to go home yet; he needs Rehab like when he was first diagnosed.”  Ben paused letting that sink in for a moment.  “I’m hoping the Grassi House has space,” Ben quickly added.  “And the Pittsburgh house may need a little remodeling to accommodate him,” Ben stated carefully to avoid the possessive, 'our house'.

“Emmett, Mel, and John,” said Brian.  And he was back.  In a fraction of a second, Brian gave Ben’s shoulder a gentle squeeze, handed Gus’ phone to Ben then pulled out his own to make calls. While Ben was explaining and reassuring JR that the Grassi House was no longer just a hospice, Brian was doing what he excelled at, wheeling and dealing.

“Emm, you got a minute?” Brian asked when his friend answered his phone.

“For you, Honey, I make time.  How’s jolly old?”

“Old, you and Drew must visit but that’s not why I’m calling.  You and Mel are still on the board of directors of the Grassi House, right?”

“How do you know that?”

“I know everything.  Listen, they want to kick Mikey out of the hospital but he can’t go home yet.” Brian began to explain the situation.

“Say no more,” Emmett exclaimed.  “The Grassi House has rehab suites; Mel and I will contact the hospital.  Um, do we know where Ben is?” Emmett asked gingerly.  Brian waved Ben over indicating he should say hi to Emmett.

“I’m here,” Ben said, his face turning slightly pink.

“Ooooo, having fun,” Emm gushed, emphasizing the word fun.  Ben face-palmed as he shook his head.

“Focus, Emm,” said Brian.  “Does the Grassi House have physical therapists?”

“Yes, but we might need someone with more expertise,” said Emmett.

“Call Glen,” Brian commanded.  “He’ll know what to do.”

“I’m on it,” Emmett assured them.  “Listen, I just want you both to know that Debbie, Carl, and Michael will be well looked after. All our friends and family have been helping out at the house. and making sure that Debbie and Carl are taking care of themselves.  Even Kiki’s come back to the Pitts when she got wind of what’s happening.  Brian, I hope you don’t mind but I set her up in that spare apartment on the first floor of the Tremont building.  She and Debbie were always so close.”

“It’s fine, Emm,” said Brian.

“Emmett, we never really used the dining room, maybe that room can be converted to a bedroom?  And we might need a ramp by the front door,” said Ben with a little sadness in his voice.

“John and I will take care of it,” Emmett said with confidence.

“No fuchsia!” Brian and Ben said in unison.

Emm laughed. “It must be getting late over there.  I’ll let you go and don’t worry about anything.  We’ll take care of it,” Emmett pronounced in all seriousness.

“I know you will and thank you,” said Ben.

“Good night, Emmett,” everyone called out.

As the current crisis was being addressed, a possible new one was forming.

“Dada, Daddy,” Bree said softly as she approached her fathers.  “What about Peter?” she asked.

“Peter will always have a home on the lane.  Even though he’s a minor, he’s old enough to have an opinion.  He can remain in the thatched cottage or stay with us.  We have plenty of room,” Justin replied.  “He’s doing very well in school and has a bright future.  We’ll support him in every way.  You and Ashley are his best friends; you won’t lose him.”

“Can I tell him?” Bree asked.

“Yes, and we can discuss it with him in the morning.  Tell him to write down any questions and we’ll talk about it.  There’s no rush.  He’s a member of our family and we take care of family,” said Brian with conviction.

Bree gave her fathers each a strong hug before going back to her friends.

“Anything else need fixing?” Brian asked the room at large.  “I might have to break out the old toolbelt,” he said waggling his eyebrows at his spouse. The “room” groaned as Justin looked toward the ceiling for guidance.

“That’s my cue.  You must be tired; you’re getting silly.  Let’s go to bed,” Justin said to Brian as he held out his hand.  “I’d like to visit the gallery tomorrow,” Justin suggested to everyone as Brian took his hand.  Everyone nodded and smiled in agreement, even Ben and Armand.

“And maybe visit Kinnetik Isles?” Bree asked.

“You want to go to work?” Brian asked.

“Not really but I miss everyone there,” Bree explained.

“You wanted her to catch up on the German project?” Gus added with an innocent smile.

“Uh huh,” Brian murmured, narrowing his eyes at his precocious children.

“Okay, the Gallery in the morning then after lunch Isles.   Lunch will be a lovely treat from Gus and Ray.  Thank you, boys,” Brian said with a grin as he was led away by Justin.

*****

“How do you think Dad will respond to what we’re going to tell him?” JR asked as she and Debbie stood outside Michael’s room in the hospital.

They had discussed everything after the phone call with Brian and Ben.  It seemed like it was time to make the move.

“He’s so … unresponsive most of the time,” Debbie said quietly.  “I’m never sure if he actually is listening to anything I tell him.”

“I just wish…” JR began.

“I know, sweetheart.  We want him to be himself, the way he used to be.”

“Seems like that will take a miracle.”

“We can always hope for one,” Debbie replied as she shook her head.  “Let’s go in and see how that son of mine takes the news that he’s getting out of the hospital.”

When Debbie had explained to Michael that he was going to be moved to Grassi House, Michael stared blankly at her for several seconds.  “Uncle Vic?” he finally said.

“Yes,” said Debbie hopefully, “that’s the building they named after Vic.  They do a lot of good things there, and they’re going to help you too.”

Michael shook his head.  “I don’t need help.”

“Yes, you do!” Debbie said with exasperation.

“Why can’t you leave me alone?”

“Dad,” JR said trying to take Michael’s hand, but he shook her off.  “We’re trying to help you, but you have to do your part.”

Michael shook his head again and closed his eyes.  Debbie and JR looked at each other and shrugged.  This usually meant that their visit was over, and they hadn’t got Michael’s consent to the move.

“They’re coming to get you tomorrow to make the move to Grassi House,” Debbie said definitively.

Michael made no move, his eyes still closed.  Debbie and JR waited holding their breath.  After a minute Michael merely shrugged.  The two women looked at each other and smiled just a little bit.  That was the closest thing to consent that they were likely to get.

“I love you, Dad,” JR said kissing Michael’s cheek.

“That goes double for me,” Debbie affirmed as she bussed Michael’s forehead.

Michael kept his eyes closed and showed no response to this show of affection.

“We’ll see you tomorrow, and go with you for the move,” Debbie said.  “It’s going to be the best thing for you.”

Michael heard the door close as his visitors left.  An involuntary tear escaped his eye as he kept them closed to block out the world that he no longer cared to be part of.

“Do you think he’s going to be ready for the move tomorrow?” JR asked as the women walked down the hall.

“Who the fuck knows?  I’m just about at my wits end trying to figure out what to do with that son of mine.  If Grassi House can’t help him, I don’t know what we can do.”

“It’s going to help, Grandma,” JR stated as she put her arm around an increasingly frail Debbie.  She drew in a deep breath praying that she wasn’t going to lose both her father and her grandmother. 

*****

When the boys entered their suite, Brian suddenly turned, grabbing Justin, smashing their lips together with a fierce almost violent kiss.  When air became an issue, Brian released Justin then leaned his forehead down to touch Justin’s.  They stood there for a few moments in their embrace. Brian gently kissed Justin’s temple before disappearing into the bedroom. 

Justin stood in the middle of the sitting room when he heard the shower come on. Knowing that Brian needed some alone time, Justin made an executive decision. He picked up the phone and called the kitchen requesting a small pot of decaffeinated tea.  He hung up when his request was acknowledged then went into the bedroom to change into something more comfortable.  By the time he returned to the sitting room, Hudson was there with a trolley placing a tray containing a tea service for two on the table with a three-tiered stand that held fruit, cheese, and thin crackers.  Justin thanked Hudson as she silently left the room.  He then sat at the table to pour himself a cup of tea.

Brian exited their ensuite bathroom expecting to see Justin in bed.  Instead, he saw an empty bed, and an empty room with Justin’s clothes in a pile on the floor.  With one towel wrapped around his slim hips and another in his hand drying off his hair, Brian opened the door to the sitting room.  Seeing his mate sitting at the table having a private party with himself, Brian decided to join him. Justin looked up at his damp Adonis as he sat. Justin poured another cup of tea then handed the delicate cup and saucer to Brian. Sensing something was amiss, Brian accepted the tea, genteelly sipping as he waited for Justin to make his move.

“Brian, can I ask you something?” Justin asked with an innocent tone.

“Of course,” Brian replied as he reached for a few grapes.

“You and Ben,” Justin ventured.  Brian fought the urge to snap, “Me and Ben, what?”  He remained silent, allowing Justin to continue.

“You and Ben have a lot in common.  Tall, good looking, and smart,” said Justin.  “Do you regret not continuing your relationship with him?”

“What relationship?” Brian asked, trying to keep the annoyance out of his voice.  Justin gave Brian a pointed look.  “Geez, Justin, that was one fuck nearly thirty years ago,” said Brian. “He’s a good friend, to both of us.  When we were still in the Pitts, I enjoyed our occasional lunch meetings.  Yes, he’s tall, good looking and very smart.  But you and I know a lot of tall, good looking, smart men.  I can confide in him; he has a way of cutting through the bullshit and offers good advice.  He’s a good friend and that’s all he is, a good friend.  He’s a lot like John and knows how to talk me down off the ledge.”

“Better than me,” Justin asked in a small voice.

“Fuck no!” Brian said jumping up off his chair, the towel slipping off his waist.  In a second Brian was kneeling in front of Justin, somehow turning Justin’s chair so that they were face to face. Brian took hold of the younger man’s hands as he gazed up into the ocean blue eyes.

“Justin, not only are you the smartest man I know, you are the most beautiful man I have ever met. Beautiful inside and out. No one can compete with you. You know my moods; you can read me like a book.  Justin, you own me!  You own my heart, my soul, and my body.  I have never loved anyone like I love you.  I never knew the meaning of real love until you came into my life,” Brian declared.

Justin searched the clear hazel eyes he knew so well.  He saw love, devotion, and honesty in those eyes.  Brian, satisfied that he got his point across, tenderly caressed Justin’s cheek.  The lovers kissed, a reverent almost chaste kiss.  It was a kiss of affirmation, of truth, and honesty.  Before Brian arose, Justin’s hands went up to hold Brian’s face.  He again searched those eyes that never lied, that were truly the window into Brian’s soul.

“I love you,” Brian whispered in that breathy voice that went straight to Justin’s heart and other places.  “I love you,” Brian repeated.  Justin nodded.  Brian returned to his chair. And just as casually as if nothing ever happened, Brian and Justin finished their snack, straightened up the table then went into their bedroom.  Brian took a small dish of strawberries with them.  Brian Kinney was on a mission of love.

Before turning down the bedding, Brian placed the fruit on the bedside dresser for safety as he urged Justin into bed.  Brian gently placed himself on top of his naked mate, running his fingers through Justin’s mane of golden hair.  Brian gently kissed the full lips.  He reached for a berry then offered it to Justin.  Justin took a nibble.  Before finishing off the berry, Brian painted Justin’s kiss-swollen lips.  Satisfied with his artwork, Brian again kissed the sweet lips.  Knowing Brian was about to take over, Justin stopped him for a moment.  Justin gazed at the beautiful man in his arms, the long, sinewy body with just the right amount muscle. Justin lovingly took inventory from Brian’s head down to his toes.  He smirked at the awkward state of Brian’s hair, half damp in places and sticking up at all angles.  Brian pretended to be offended then laughed along with Justin.  Bedhead was something Brian could never tame.  And Justin loved him all the more for it. Brian made love to Justin for several hours, making sure Justin knew just how cherished he was.

“Please, Brian, I want you in me now,” said Justin.

“Like the first time,” Brian asked in a husky voice.

“Yes,” said Justin, arching up his body to allow for better access.  Brian gently prepared his mate then quickly obliged.  Starting out slowly then allowing the intensity to build until…

“Now,” Brian shouted.  They shuddered and quivered then eventually collapsed, dozing almost immediately as they lay.

Brian woke up about fifteen minutes later, making the decision to leave his comfortable perch on top of Justin to do a little cleaning up.  He gingerly removed himself from Justin and went to get a warm cloth to clean up his lover and himself.  For propriety’s sake, Brian threw on a robe before taking the small dish into the sitting room.  He knew someone would remove the tray before morning.  When he returned to the bedroom, Justin had already begun burrowing himself under the blankets.  Brian dropped his robe to join him. The lovers cuddled toward the middle of the bed, Justin moving toward Brian like a moth to a flame.  They drifted in and out of post-coital bliss.

“Justin, are you asleep?” Brian whispered.

“I was,” Justin murmured as he buried himself into Brian’s side.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Mmm,” mumbled Justin.

“The gallery,” Brian began.

“What about it?” asked Justin, more alert.

“Are my naked assets still the first thing you see when you enter the main door?”

“Not the first thing, more like the fourth or fifth thing.  And not a “thing, a portrait.”

“Am I fully visible?”

“Not fully! Most of your bits are hidden behind the Thinking Rock,” Justin explained as he kissed the nearest Brian flesh available.

“Oh.  Um. Any other naked bits?”

“In my wing,” Justin said with a yawn.

“Ah.  Justin…”

“No more talking, sleep now,” Justin commanded.

“Sleep,” Brian repeated as he curled himself around Justin and slept.

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