The Letters

Chapter 1 (September-October)

 

November 1, 2021

Most Reverend Colm O’Hara
Bishop of St Anthony’s RC Church
Pittsburgh, PA

Your Excellency,

Again I wish to sincerely thank you for approving my vacation and granting my application for a year’s sabbatical. Rest assured, I am content and well looked after here on this small lane. The family has opened their hearts and homes to me. They have issued an invitation allowing me to spend my entire year here in quiet contemplation, as well as including me in their family activities if I so choose. I have rooms to myself in their spacious guest cottage. And while they refuse any monetary remuneration, the family has allowed me to participate in basic maintenance chores, tutoring the children and occasionally cooking a family meal.

The weeks I’ve spent here so far have afforded me the time to reflect on my experiences as a priest and to appreciate God’s wonders in the surrounding countryside. In the first two weeks and with much help, we constructed a small cabin in the woods where I may pray to our Lord for guidance. It’s little more than a room with a potbelly stove for heat, but I feel humbled as I sit within its walls. It reminds me of the time we spent in that small monastery on the outskirts of Rome.

Colm, you are not only my bishop but you are my friend and have been my mentor for more than twenty years. I know you will not condemn me when I say that I find myself longing for more than what the church allows me. On this lane I see a life that could have been mine had I chosen a different path. But as a good friend has taught me, I have no apologies to make and no regrets. I will take this year that has been granted me to live amongst the world as a man, but I promise you I shall always keep my God within my heart.

As part of my agreement with you, I shall keep a diary and send you a monthly letter chronicling my experiences of the previous month. I promise to be frank and open with you, conveying not only what has transpired but including my feelings as well.

With deep respect and regard,

Thomas Butterfield

P.S. Enclosed is my accounting for October. Who knew Halloween could be so complicated?

 

*****
 

“Father Tom! Father Tom!” Bree called out as Tom’s car pulled up in front of the B&B cottage. Tom parked then got out of his car. Bree raced down the lane toward him.

“Good morning, Briana, and while I’m staying here, my name is just Tom,” Tom said as he looked down at the petite child. It was still very early on the lane; the morning air was chilly. Bree had run out of her house still dressed in her pajamas and thick fuzzy slippers, wrapped in a warm hoodie robe.

“But I can’t call you just Tom,” Bree said with a very serious expression on her face that almost made Tom laugh. He kept himself under control so not to risk insulting the child. Bree extended her hand.

“Why not?” Tom asked as he took her hand and allowed Bree to take him back to her cottage.

“Because you’re an adult,” Bree explained. “And adults hafta be addressed as Mr. or Mrs. or Auntie or Uncle,” Bree said.

“I see,” Tom said. “That is a dilemma.” Tom mused about it as he entered Edna’s Treasures. It was Sunday morning and Brian was up and cooking breakfast. The rest of the cottage was still asleep, except for Beau who was dutifully watching his human just in case any tasty morsel should land on the floor.

“Give it a rest, Beau. In all the years we’ve been here, did I ever drop something?” Brian asked the big dog. Beau gave Brian a put upon sigh. Taking pity on the dog, Brian snuck him a nice piece of perfectly cooked bacon. Beau took his treasure to his dog house in his corner of the sun porch to savor it in private.

“Don’t say I never gave you anything,” Brian said to the dog’s retreating tail.

“You really are a big softy, you know that?” Tom commented.

“One of my failings as I grew up,” Brian quipped as he waved an empty mug in Tom’s direction. “Tea or coffee?” Brian asked.

“Coffee, please,” Tom replied. “Too bad it’s too early for something stronger.”

“It’s not even eight in the morning,” Brian observed as he dished up plates of bacon, eggs and toast for Bree and Tom. “Where have you been?”

“Confession, then mass,” Tom mumbled around a slice of toast.

“Giving or taking?” Brian asked with a smirk.

Tom ignored the innuendo when he replied, “Giving.”

“Dada, we have a problem,” Bree announced, interrupting the conversation that didn’t apply to her.

“Do we now?” Brian said as he placed a glass of juice in front her then sat to sip his coffee. Breakfast was done and sitting in the warming oven. He had no doubt that the aroma would soon wake the sleeping cottage.

“Yes, we do.”

Brian resisted the chuckle that was bubbling in his throat. He knew if Bree was standing up and not preoccupied with breakfast, she would have stomped one dainty foot and her little hands would be on her hips. “Do tell.”

“I don’t know what to call Father Tom!” Bree said in exasperation.

“That is a problem. Did you ask Father Tom how he wishes to be addressed?”

“Yes, and he said I was to call him Tom. But I can’t cause he’s an adult and I’m not.”

“I see, that is a very big problem. How about Uncle Tom? You certainly have many uncles; I don’t think they’d mind if you added one more.” Both Bree and Tom vehemently shook their heads, no. “No? Why?”

Before Tom could open his mouth, Bree spoke. “We read this book in school, Dada, and...” Bree said in a tiny voice. Brian could see she was uncomfortable discussing it. He came around to her chair, lifted her up then sat with Bree in his lap.

“I understand,” Brian said in a soothing tone as he kissed a blonde temple. Brian glanced at Tom who had a similar pained expression on his face. “How about something a little bit more dignified such as Thomas. Would Uncle Thomas be more agreeable to you both?”

Bree turned her head to look at Tom. When she saw his nod and smile, Bree looked up at her father. “Oh yes, Dada!” Bree declared with happy exuberance.

“Then Uncle Thomas it is, and welcome to the family,” Brian said as he gave Bree another kiss then extended his hand out to Tom. They shook and breakfast continued.

“Hey,” Justin said as he shuffled through the hallway a few minutes later, wiping the sleep from his eyes and leading a parade of hungry men. They all took seats around the table as Tom and Brian arose to serve up breakfast.

“Hey, Sunshine,” Brian said as he gave Justin a peck after Brian placed Bree back into her chair.

“Good morning, Daddy,” Bree said cheerfully, knowing her younger daddy wasn’t a morning person, whatever that meant.

“Morning, Baby Girl,” Justin mumbled as someone placed a mug of coffee in front of him.

“You’re up early,” John said to Tom.

“Church,” Tom said.

“Ah, coming or going?” John asked.

“He just got back when Bree rescued this obviously starving man and brought him here for breakfast,” Brian teased.

“I’m not starving but breakfast is very much appreciated, thank you,” Tom said as he handed a couple of mugs of coffee to John and Bobby then refilled Brian’s mug. “What are your plans for today?” Tom asked as everyone was seated again.

“It’s Halloween!” Bree and Patrick shouted together. The parents grimaced as Tom laughed.

“I see and how are you going to celebrate this major event?”

“The school is having a Halloween party in the gym. Since the neighboring houses are a bit far away from each other the school thought it would make sense to bring the kids to one place,” Bobby explained. “The parents are donating snacks and other kid safe treats. A decorating committee has been preparing the gym for most of the week.”

“Yeah, a decorating committee of one, a certain Pittsburgh party planner,” Brian growled as he threw a glare at Bree and Patrick. They gave him innocent smiles in return. “Someone blabbed.”

“He just wanted to help, Uncle Bri,” Patrick explained.

“Uh huh. I think you guys just wanted to show off,” Brian countered. The kids blushed.

“Brian, stick a sock in it,” Justin ordered. “Emmett called last week; he was bored. His assistants have all his events under control including Babylon. Emmett wanted to do something low key, so when I told him what the school was planning, he volunteered. The school will know it’ll be done right and busy parents won’t have to take the time out of their schedules. The parents who had the time are the ones who helped.”

“Fine,” Brian huffed. “What time does this event take place?” Brian asked with a roll of his eyes.

“We should leave around noon,” John responded. “And you will be attending,” he added.

“Yes, sir,” Brian saluted his brother, making the kids giggle. “Thomas, as an honorary uncle, I think you should join us,” Brian said with a gleam in his eyes. The kids agreed.

“It will be my pleasure,” Tom replied.

“Since we’re all together,” John began before anyone got up. “I’d like to propose something.”

“Too late, we’re already married,” Bobby said with a laugh. John leaned over to bestow a loving kiss to his spouse.

“Yes we are but I have another proposal to make,” John said as he looked around the room. “I’d like to bring the treehouse here.”

“Really?”

“All right!”

“Can you do that?”

Were some of the reactions John’s suggestion received.

“We were able to move a couple of houses here, I don’t see why we can’t move the treehouse,” he said. “We just have to find the right tree. We lucked out with that old maple at my mother’s house.”

“Dad, can we look for a tree after breakfast?” Patrick asked. He was practically bouncing in his chair.

“I don’t see why not,” John replied, pleased that Patrick still wanted to do ‘guy’ stuff with his old man.

“Poppa, can you come with us?”

“Sure can!” Bobby answered with a big smile.

Bree was about to ask if she could go too but Brian caught her eye and shook his head. Bree said nothing as she finished her juice.

When breakfast was over, Tom volunteered to wash up then go back to the B&B to change into something less formal for the Halloween party. John, Bobby and Patrick went back to their side of the cottage to get dressed. Justin went to shower then dress. That left Bree and Brian alone in the kitchen for a few minutes. Bree climbed up to sit in her Dada’s lap.

“Dada, I wanted to go to find the tree too,” Bree confessed.

“I know, Squirt, but do you remember how you feel when you want to spend time just with me and Daddy?” Bree thought about it before she nodded her head. “Well, that’s how Patrick feels right now. Sometimes boys just want to be with their dads.”

“Did you do stuff with your dad?” Bree asked in all innocence.

Brian thought carefully before he answered her. “My father worked weird hours when I was young and I left home as soon as I was able so I didn’t get a chance to do guy stuff with my father.” The only guy stuff Brian ever did with Jack was meeting up at the bar and passing him a few hundred bucks. Or bowling when he was a kid which usually ended up with Jack berating Brian’s gutter balls. Bree didn’t need to know any of that.

“Oh.” Bree seemed to understand and didn’t question Brian any further.

“Go take your shower then put on your costume. Daddy wants to take pictures,” Brian said to Bree as he held her close. He gently kissed the blonde head before letting her go.

“Okay. I love you, Dada,” she said hugging his neck then running into her room.

“I love you too,” Brian whispered.

 

*****
 

“Dad, is this a good one?” Patrick called out as he stood under a great big tree that reminded him of the maple in his Grandmother’s front yard.

“You know this just might do,” John said as he and Bobby walked up to the tree. “It certainly looks sturdy enough,” John commented as he walked around it, studying the branches.

“It looks good to me,” Bobby said. “But I’m not an expert.” Bobby took John’s hand when John was back at his side. “What do you think?” he asked John.

“I think I’ll call some of the Harrisburg crew tomorrow and have them take some measurements at Mom’s house and over here. Once they do that, we can verify if it’s a close enough match. Then I’ll have them dismantle the treehouse and bring it here,” John said with a grin.

“Yay!” Patrick shouted. “I’m gonna tell Bree,” he said then ran back to the cottage.

“Put your costume on!” Bobby yelled after him.

“I will!” Patrick yelled back, never breaking his stride.

John and Bobby grinned in Patrick’s direction and then at each other.

“I love you,” Bobby said as he hugged his man.

“Mmmm,” John murmured as he buried his face in Bobby’s neck, hugging the younger man tight.

 

*****
 

“What are you doing?” Justin asked Brian as he came into their bedroom.

Brian was standing in front of the open closet staring into it. “Remembering,” Brian mumbled.

“Remembering what?”

“Oh … nothing.”

“Hey, big guy, tell me what’s going on.” Justin wrapped his arms around Brian’s still slim waist and stared into the closet with him.

Brian sighed barely audibly but Justin knew him so well. He hung onto Brian’s waist waiting till he got an answer. “I was looking at my old leather jacket,” Brian finally said.

“Your Hugo Boss?”

Brian nodded. “I was remembering some of the things that happened with it.”

“Like what?”

“I lent it to Mikey to go on a date.”

Justin chuckled. “How did he look?”

“Better than the way he looked when Emmett dressed him.”

“I can only imagine,” Justin said.

“I doubt you could imagine what he looked like,” Brian contradicted.

“I have a very vivid imagination.”

Brian snorted. “I doubt even your vivid imagination could have conjured up the apparition that was Michael Novotny when he appeared at my door that night.”

“That bad, huh?” Brian nodded. “But you transformed him.”

“I did my best.”

“With your Hugo Boss.” Brian nodded again. “Was the transformation successful?”

“He ended up with Dr. Dave.”

“Ah, a moot point then.”

“I used to wear this to Babylon for Halloween,” Brian said fingering the still soft leather of the jacket.

“Your idea of a sexy costume?” Brian’s raised eyebrow was the only response. Justin smiled. “Why don’t you wear it today?”

“I doubt it even fits anymore,” Brian said with a scowl.

“You look just as good as you did in your Babylon days. Try it on.”

Brian shrugged but slid the jacket off its hanger. He put one arm into the sleeve and held his breath as he added the other arm and the jacket fell into place on his shoulders.

“See,” Justin said straightening the collar. “You look hot as ever. You could wear your Rage mask with the jacket.”

“I’m not going to be the only one dressed up,” Brian protested.

“I could go as JT. We wouldn’t actually be in costume because no one will get it,” Justin laughed.

“I like the sound of that,” Brian replied as he found his black jeans and a white wifebeater.

 

*****
 

The children were going around the gym with their little plastic pumpkins, collecting treats from the various tables. Many of the parents had made homemade candies, cookies or candied apples. No one ever did that anymore as too often they would be thrown out for fear of some kind of contamination when they were collected from a stranger’s house. Here in the safety of the school with all the parents knowing each other, the old fashioned Halloween was proceeding nicely.

Emmett had done the decorations proud with bales of hay that also acted as seating areas, lots of fall flowers and leaves and several scarecrows. The gym looked great. He had also set up many of the old fashioned Halloween activities like bobbing for apples, trying to bite apples hanging from a pole and apple peeling to see who could create the longest continuous apple peel. He had a game of pass the apple going where you had to pass the apple from under your chin without using your hands. He had some pies ready for a pie eating contest, and was currently signing up contestants.

There were many more activities that Emmett had lined up as well. He had roped Father Tom into helping him with the Push the Peanut race. That was accomplished using your nose. The children were laughing so hard they could barely breathe as they watched Bobby and Patrick race each other.

“Daddy, Dada!” Bree cried as she raced over to them. “My Patrick won! Did you see?”

“Yes, sweetheart, he beat his Poppa fair and square,” Justin replied.

“I’m thirsty,” Bree declared.

“One glass of punch coming up for the little princess,” Brian said as he ladled out some punch for his daughter. Emmett had placed Brian and Justin in charge of making sure the refreshment table stayed well stocked.

“That’s good,” Bree replied as she finished off the glass of juice punch in a flash. More!” Brian raised an eyebrow. “Please,” Bree added as she got the message.

Brian gave her another glassful. “Are you having fun?”

“Oh yes, Dada. I wish…”

“What?”

“That Gamma Joan could be here. She would really like it.”

“Yes, I think she would,” Brian agreed as a tear appeared in his eye.

“Ooh, Patrick’s in the pie eating contest. I gotta go,” Bree stated before she ran off to watch.

“Emmett has really outdone himself,” Justin observed.

“I have to admit that the old fairy has done an admirable job.”

“I think so too,” Tom said as he joined them.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” Justin asked.

“I haven’t had this much fun in years,” Tom replied. “I better get back to help Emmett.”

Brian and Justin watched him go, pleased with the look of joy and contentment on the sometime priest’s face.

 

*****
 

“Hey!” Todd called out to Brian as he entered the gym.

“Hi, Todd, how’s it going?” Brian teased.

“Fine,” Todd automatically replied then glared at Brian.

Brian snorted out a laugh. “If you were any more more queenie than you are, you would have stomped your foot.”

“You’re lucky I’m not any more queenie as you put it or I’d hit you with my purse then scratch your eyes out,” Todd growled out.

“Point taken. Not that I’m not happy to see you but what are you doing here. The shindig is just about over.”

“I know, I’m here to pick up the hay and the scarecrows.”

“Why?”

“The All Things Happy Garden Center rented them to Emmett for this event,” Todd proudly stated. “And we have more accounts that have hired us to decorate for other events and a lot more Fall landscaping.” Todd wore an ear to ear grin. “I always wanted to be able to do something like this but never got the chance in Chicago.” Brian clapped Todd on the back.

“I knew you had brains!” Brian announced as if he had something to do with it. Todd just rolled his eyes and laughed. “Do you need help?” Brian asked as he eyed the large bales.

“Naaa, brought the big guys with me. They’ll have everything cleared out and swept up within thirty minutes. The gym will be back to normal in plenty of time for school. But if you don’t mind, I see someone I’d like to take to dinner,” Todd said with a waggle of his eyebrows.

“Uh huh,” Brian said. “You behave and play safe.” Brian wiggled a finger under Todd’s nose.

“Yes, Dad,” Todd teased and laughed, getting away with little more than a glare in response from Brian. Todd realized just how good a friend he had in Brian. Todd patted Brian’s shoulder just before he made his way across the gym to Tom who was still helping Emmett.

“Hi, Todd, how’s it going?” Emmett cheerfully asked. “Oopsy! Silly me,” Emmett cried out as he blushed and put his hand to his mouth.

Todd answered with an obligatory, “Fine,” as he waved his hand in the air. This was just something that was going to happen whenever the guys saw him. And in a funny way, Todd was kind of proud of it. Emmett was known for being way out there. Ted for being on the nerdy side. Brian would always be the stud no matter how old he got, because Todd was convinced that Brian would always look that good. Michael was just Michael. And Todd was once Babylon’s number one backroom bottom. It is what it is.

“Are you done here?” Todd asked Emmett and Tom.

“I think I can manage the rest,” Emmett said. The big stuff was being handled by Todd’s men and the parents who had volunteered had the rest. Emmett had packed up his new SUV with a little help from Tom. “There’s really not much more to do,” Emmett added as he looked around the gym. Brian and the family were speaking with the principal while they were waiting for Tom.

“Then may I have the pleasure of your company tonight,” Todd addressed Tom.

“Oooo,” Emmett squeed, clapping his hands. Todd and Tom both blushed. “Carry on!” Emmett ordered as he shooed the men away then busied himself by gathering up the last bag of trash to take out to the outside dumpster.

Tom watched Emmett do a lousy job of NOT snooping as he replied to Todd. “I’d be delighted, but why don’t you come over and I’ll cook us dinner. I’m getting the hang of meatloaf,” Tom proudly declared.

“Only if you let me make the mashed potatoes. I have a way with spuds,” Todd said. The two men kind of grinned at each other for a few seconds then said goodbye to Emmett.

“Play safe!” Emmett called after them then he sighed with a sappy grin.

“We’re leaving,” Brian announced when he made his way over to where Emmett was standing. “What’s got you grinning like an idiot?” Brian growled.

“Young love,” Emmett sighed again. Brian followed Emmett’s gaze.

“They’re not that young,” Brian snarked.

“Yes, but their love is and you leave them alone,” Emmett snapped at Brian.

“Hey, this is me, leaving them alone,” Brian said with his hands up in the air. “I’m the one who invited the good friar to stay on the lane, remember?”

“Yes, and a good thing too,” Emmett stated. “Brian, do you think they’ll be all right?” Emmett asked in a very serious tone.

“I honestly don’t know. We’re just going to have to trust them to make the right choices and trust in the gods,” Brian said as he watched Tom speak with John just before he and Todd left the gym.

“A-men, brother,” Emmett quipped before grabbing the trash bag and leaving.

“Yeah,” Brian mumbled as he walked over to his family then left with them to go back to the lane.

 

*****
 

“That was good!” Todd declared as he patted his full belly then let out a belch. “Oo, pardon.”

Tom laughed as he shook his head. “I’m glad you enjoyed your meal.”

“I did a lot and I’m enjoying your company,” Todd said.

“So am I,” Tom said as he put the kettle on for tea.

“Have you made any decisions?” Todd asked as he began to clear the table. Tom didn’t need to ask what Todd meant, he already knew.

“No, I still have a year yet so there’s no need to rush,” Tom said in hushed tones. Todd came up to Tom’s back to circle his arms around the older man. Tom felt his body lean back into Todd’s embrace. “I have to do what’s right, for both our sakes,” Tom whispered.

“Do it for yourself; I will never stop being your friend,” Todd assured the older man as he rested his head between Tom’s shoulder blades. Tom nodded as he took Todd’s hands and held them to his heart.

The tea kettle whistled, demanding attention. Tom and Todd separated as they answered the call.
 

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