Glass Houses

Chapter 12

“Justin, are you okay?” Lindsay asked as the man talking to Justin moved away. Justin looked okay, but obviously Brian knew that something was wrong.

“I’m fine,” Justin stated firmly. “Brian’s worrying about nothing.” Justin had seen her talking to Brian. He willed his voice to sound calm and normal, even though he felt neither of those things. He was going to get through this day. He could do it. He just had to hold himself together, but it took so much energy to do that. He prayed he had enough.

“Then, what’s up with Brian?” Lindsay asked with a frown.

“He’s just feeling grumpy and out of sorts because of his leg,” Justin lied.

Lindsay shook her head. Something was going on, but neither of them seemed willing to talk about it. “Candy’s really looking forward to the fireworks later,” she said not being able to think of anything more innocuous to say.

“Good,” Justin replied holding himself straight and tall, using all the will he had left.

 

*****
 

“Brian, I haven’t seen my son,” Danny said as he approached Brian’s chair.

“He and Ben won’t be here today,” Brian responded wearily. He wished his best friend and Ben were there to answer their own questions.

“That’s not like them. They’re always here,” Danny noted.

“Not this time.”

“Most peculiar.”

“These are peculiar times … trying too.”

“Trying?”

“Yes, trying.”

“Brian, I’ve been getting a funny vibe all day. What’s going on?”

“Old drag queens should watch out for those funny vibes,” Brian replied acerbically.

Danny glared at his young friend. Apparently Brian wasn’t going to tell him anything. He’d have to look elsewhere for answers.

 

*****
 

“John,” Bobby said, “do you think they’ll be all right?”

John knew he was talking about Brian and Justin without using their names. John shrugged. “Who knows?”

“It’s not like you to be pessimistic.”

“I have this feeling things are building up to an explosion. There’s only so much pressure that can be tolerated, especially by my brother.”

“I hope you’re wrong.”

“Me too,” John agreed.

“Let’s hope this isn’t one of your prognostications.”

“They’re only for the weather … after I hear what the meteorologists have to say.”

Bobby smiled before standing on his tiptoes to give the tall man a kiss on the cheek. “I love you,” Bobby whispered.

 

*****
 

“Want a burger?” Todd asked Gerry.

“That sounds good,” Gerry agreed.

“I can get us a couple,” Todd volunteered.

“I’ll come with you.”

“I hear the food around here is excellent,” Todd said.

“Anything I’ve had has been excellent. They don’t hesitate to feed me.”

“I know Brian usually barbecues.”

“Not today,” Gerry corrected him. “He’s staying off that ankle.”

“And not looking too happy about it.” They both glanced over at Brian who seemed lost in thought, an uneaten burger sitting on a plate beside him. They got in line behind Bree and Patrick who were waiting impatiently for their Auntie Emm to cook them a hotdog.

“Hurry up,” Bree muttered to herself. She was really hungry. She was also feeling a little out of sorts. She always liked the way her Dada made her hotdog. She wasn’t so sure about Auntie Emm.

“I’m sure the hotdogs will be ready in a minute, Miss Bree,” Gerry said encouragingly.

“I know,” Bree replied with a sigh.

“Are you ready for fireworks later?” Todd asked.

“Oh yes, they’re going to be good,” she answered with more enthusiasm.

“I certainly hope so,” Todd said. He suspected Bree could make her own brand of fireworks if things didn’t go the way she wanted.

 

*****
 

“This is amazing!” Ray exclaimed as he and Gus slowly strolled through the greenhouse. “It’s like he recreated the tropics, complete with waterfall,” he said as they stood in front of the pond. The back of the pond was designed to be part of the back wall of the green house. Water came cascading down the wall, sluicing down over a man-made rock face collecting in the pond below. “Ferns?” Ray asked as he admired the feathery leaves.

“You know plants?” Gus asked.

“Not really, but my dads took us to Hawaii a long time ago and I remember going to this place that’s famous for the ferns.”

“I think that’s where my dad got the idea.”

“Well, he got it right. And water lilies,” Ray said as he looked into the pond. Small koi were leisurely swimming around precisely placed rocks and plants. “Your dad is an artist.”

“You mean Justin, right?”

“No, I mean your Pop. I’ve gone to several botanical gardens on school trips. I always thought they were so cool. They’re like a green paradise surrounded by concrete. It takes talent to put together a grouping of different species of plants and make it look like they belong together.”

Gus sat on the rocks that his dad specifically placed in a random pattern around the pond but on purpose so that a visitor had somewhere to sit and think.

“Your insight amazes me,” Gus said in awe. “How come you’re so smart?” Gus asked with a smile.

“Oh, I don’t know, just lucky I guess,” Ray teased, leaning down for a kiss.

“I’m the lucky one,” Gus said as he leaned up, meeting Ray’s lips. “Have you ever made love among the ferns?”

“Unh unh.”

“Wanna give it a try?”

“Uh huh.”

“See, you are so damn smart,” Gus cooed as they found a secluded spot amongst the ferns.

 

*****
 

Brian was still feeling distracted but after some carefully chosen words from Emmett, the words being, “Get your fucking head out of your fucking ass,” said with a smile of course, Brian made a concerted effort to be an attentive host. He could feel several eyes following him around the yard and gardens as he hobbled through. It was almost time for the second round of grilling to begin so Brian decided to be helpful and bring out a tray of marinating meat and vegetables. His head was in the refrigerator, hands on a tray when a familiar and harsh voice startled the hell out of him.

“What the fuck did you do to Michael!” Debbie shrieked at Brian. Brian started, almost dropping the heavy tray. He whirled around managing to get the tray on the counter but not before hooking his walking boot on a stool. He lost his balance, going down hard onto the floor, his hands scraped against the tiles as his head banged against the refrigerator. He saw stars as Debbie gasped and tried to help Brian up.

“Here, let me help you,” Debbie cried as she reached down toward Brian who was trying to clear his head.

“Overweight middle-aged old women should mind their own business,” Brian spat out the unforgivable in a scathing growl. The slap across his cheek made his ears ring.

“How dare you!” Debbie said low and with so much anger her face was as red as her hair.

Brian stayed on the floor, not knowing what to do or say or how to beg forgiveness. A single tear slowly slid down his face. Debbie gasped and her face immediately softened.

“Honey, what is it? I haven’t seen you like this since, since...oh my god! The cancer, it’s back?” Brian shook his head. “Then what, sweetheart?” Debbie managed to slither down the refrigerator to sit next to her first lost boy. “What has gotten you so worked up?”

“Justin,” Brian whispered. He wanted to tell Deb about Michael as well, to get it all off his chest but a promise is a promise.

“Sunshine? What’s wrong with my Sunshine?”

“I don’t know how to help him,” Brian said so pitifully. Brian closed his eyes then with some effort he revealed all his fears and concerns about Justin to the woman he considered his mother when he was a teen.

“Oh honey,” Deb said as she wrapped her arms around him. “Justin will get through this, you know he will.”

“But he hurts and I don’t know what to do.”

“Didn’t the doctor order something...?”

“Not that kind of hurt,” Brian murmured. “It’s like he’s reliving the bashing all over again.”

“But he fought back so hard when that happened.”

“But now he’s remembering.”

“He remembers the prom?”

“No, he’s remembering the anger, his behavior afterwards, his frustration and the pain. He cries himself to sleep, cursing himself for scaring his mother and his sister. He’s so frightened that he’ll do something to Bree that he keeps pushing her away. A trick he learned from me.”

“Sweetheart,” Debbie began but Brian waved her off.

“I hired a private therapist.”

“I met him. He seems like a good man. Bobby can’t say enough good things about him and Drew says he’s the best.”

“Yes, he is, but even he’s having difficulty motivating Justin. It’s like he’s punishing himself for his past bad behavior.”

“Even if his behavior was bad, he was just a kid. A kid who almost died at the hands of that homophobic criminal. No one, least of all Jennifer, can blame him.”

“Doesn’t matter, he blames himself. His arm and hand are getting stronger, but you’d never know by the way he’s behaving.”

“Brian, you might not like this but maybe you should take him to a doctor.”

“We just saw the orthopedist.”

“That’s not the kind of doctor I mean.”

“He won’t go.”

“He will if you insist.”

“This isn’t the time for this.”

“I know that, and you have a yard full of hungry people out there. We should table this discussion for a more appropriate time.” Brian leaned back to look into Debbie’s eyes. “Hey, I know how to speak, I just choose to speak a little more colorfully than most. But never mind about all that, we have a more serious problem on our hands at the moment.”

“More important?”

“Yeah, like how the fuck are we going to get up off this floor?” Debbie asked in frustration. Brian gaped at her then cracked up in wild laughter. After a few hysterical moments he leaned against her resting his head on her shoulder. Debbie heard a few muted sniffles. “It’ll be all right, kiddo,” she whispered as she took Brian’s hand. “I promise, everything will be all right.”

 

*****
 

A few minutes later Brian had recovered his equilibrium, and Debbie was truly sorry for having struck her lost boy in the heat of anger. They were still on the kitchen floor wondering what was the best way to get up.

“I can probably manage to get on my knees and then maybe onto my good foot,” Brian suggested.

“You won’t do more damage to the bad leg, will you?” Debbie asked.

“Unknown,” Brian replied.

“I guess I could roll over and you could push my fat ass up from behind. I could probably get vertical from there, but my fucking knees ain’t what they used to be.”

“I have a better idea,” Brian said with a sudden smirk.

“And what the fuck might that be?”

“Well, we could yell at the top of our lungs,” Brian offered with his tongue planted in his cheek.

“And have every fag in the county come running to see this overweight middle-aged woman stuck on the floor. I don’t fucking think so,” Debbie declared.

Brian snorted. “Then scoot over.”

“Huh?”

“Move over so I can open the fridge door.”

“What the fuck for? Is there a lift inside?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” Brian said turning himself around. When Debbie finally moved, he was able to open the fridge door. “Aha!” he said triumphantly.

“What?”

“Beer.”

“Beer?”

“Yes, liquid gold. This will tide us over until help comes.”

“You’re certifiable,” Debbie said, but she took the bottle that Brian opened for her.

“Here’s to rescuers in whatever form they may appear,” Brian said tapping his bottle against Debbie’s.

It was Debbie’s turn to snort, but it didn’t stop her from taking a pull on the bottle. “You know,” she said thoughtfully, “this reminds me of that time I came to the loft when you had lost everything.”

“With a fucking tuna casserole,” Brian reminded her before taking a long pull on his bottle of beer.

“You love my tuna casserole.”

“Yeah, I do,” Brian admitted. It was easier than arguing.

“I could use one of those joints along about now. This fucking floor is damn hard.”

“If I had a cushion I’d give it to you.”

“How sweet!” Debbie said sarcastically, but her hand caressed Brian’s cheek belying her tone and words.

“I’ve been told I’m very sweet … when I want to be,” Brian said smugly.

“Ain’t that the fucking truth! You have a heart as big as … Michael’s.”

Brian groaned inwardly. Why did she have to think of that? He decided that silence might be the better part of valor.

After a minute or so of silence Debbie said, “Is he all right, Brian?”

Brian knew who she was talking about. “You need to talk to your son … when he’s ready to talk,” Brian advised. That was all he could advise, all he could reveal.

Debbie stared off into space before taking a drink of her beer, adjusting her tits and turning to look at Brian. “He’ll be fine. I know he will. He’s my son. He’s strong.”

“Yes he is,” Brian agreed.

“You’re not going to tell me why he’s not here, are you?”

“No I’m not.”

“Fuck! Sometimes that code of ethics of yours is fucking annoying.”

“What code of ethics? I have no such thing. I don’t believe in ethics.”

“Delude yourself if you want, but everyone knows that you can be relied upon to keep a secret, to help when help is needed, to…”

“Enough! If I could help us get off this fucking floor, I would,” Brian stated. “As for ethics…” Brian made a face.

“I’m onto you, Brian Kinney, just like that little blond twink was onto you.”

They both stopped talking and thought about Justin for a couple of minutes. Neither knew what to say.

“That joint really would come in handy,” Debbie said finally. Brian nodded. “He’s going to be just fine too, like my Michael. He’s strong like my Michael.”

“Yeah, strong,” Brian said finishing off his beer. He turned around to get another pair of beers out of the refrigerator. He opened both bottles.

“Thanks,” Debbie said. “Maybe after another four or five of these my ass will be numb.”

Brian laughed heartily. Debbie always knew what to say even when it was totally inappropriate.

“Do you think they’ve all gone home and forgot about us?” Debbie asked. It had been too long a time for a woman of her age to be sitting on the floor, especially uncarpeted floor.

“This is my home. Justin’s too. He can’t go anywhere else,” Brian informed her. “He is home.”

“I bet they’re all out there eating and laughing.”

“And you’re in here drinking and grouching with me.”

“I could do worse.”

“Yeah, and what would that be?”

“The fridge could have been empty of beer.”

“But you could also have done better,” Brian said.

“Yeah, how?”

“I could have had a stash under the sink.”

Debbie burst out laughing. “Yeah, that would have been better, but I don’t think I’d care to explain when they found us.”

“If they found us…”

“When they find us,” Debbie amended.

“They’re going to need that meat eventually,” Brian said looking up at the tray perched on the edge of the counter.

“You almost dumped it all over the kitchen.”

“But I didn’t. Good coordination,” Brian bragged.

“Riiight! That’s why you have a broken ankle and we’re stuck on the floor.”

Brian made a face. He was about to retort when a little voice said, “Dada, what are you and Gamma Debbie doing?”

“Bree!” Brian responded.

“Thank God,” Debbie said.

“Bree, I need you to do something really important for me,” Brian began.

“What, Dada?”

“Go find Mr. Gerry and tell him I need him.”

“’Kay, Dada.”

“And don’t tell anyone else.”

“’Kay, Dada.”

“Not even Daddy.”

“’Kay, Dada.”

“And…”

“For fuck’s sake let her go,” Debbie interrupted.

“Go,” Brian said, and Bree ran out of the kitchen.

She returned quickly with Gerry and Todd who were able to get the two back on their feet. Brian was considerably easier than Debbie, although both of them swore loudly, and then swore their rescuers to secrecy. Brian decided to send Todd out with the tray of meat. He wasn’t going to take any more chances.

“Dada, what were you and Gamma Debbie doing on the floor?” Bree asked.

“Um, we just had a couple of beers and reminisced about old times.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to sit on a chair to do that?” she asked innocently.

“I’ll remember that for future reference,” Brian said as Gerry finished looking at his foot. He didn’t seem to have done any further damage to himself.

“Good, Dada.” Bree got the last word as usual.
 

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