Fractalized

Chapter 1

 

“Justin…Justin…Justin!” Brian repeated himself his voice growing louder with each word.

“Huh?”

“I’ve fucking been trying to get your attention for five minutes,” Brian griped.

“I was concentrating.”

“No shit!”

“What is it?” Justin asked, his eyes returning to the computer screen where they had been glued all day, and every other day for weeks.

“I’m going to the stream. Not that you give a shit,” Brian mumbled as he headed out the sun porch door.

Justin was already back to his fractal work on the computer.

Brian carried his picnic blanket down the path to the stream. He muttered to himself the whole way there. “Fucking computer, fucking damn weekend, fucking life!”

At the edge of the stream Brian spread his blanket out on the grass. He sat down on it and stared at the stream. It was a beautiful warm day in September. It was the weekend and he should be enjoying himself. He and Justin should be here … together … fucking and sucking. Shit! He felt so out of sorts, cranky, like a piece of shit. He flopped down on the blanket, stretching out and letting the warm sun pour down on him. He let out a long sigh.

 

*****
 

“Daddy, me and Patrick want to go to the stream,” Bree said coming into the sun porch from Patrick’s side of the house. Patrick stood silently and dutifully behind the little blonde.

Justin kept working on his computer, oblivious to his daughter and Patrick.

“Daddy! Daddy!” Bree said impatiently, her voice rising with each repetition.

“What?” Justin said glancing up.

“Me and Patrick want to go to the stream,” Bree repeated.

“Okay,” Justin said absently, his eyes returning to the screen of his laptop.

Bree frowned and stared at her father.

“Come on, Bree,” Patrick whispered. “He said we could go.”

Bree followed Patrick out the door of the sun porch. Beau immediately was at their side watching them and trailing them along the path to the stream.

“Something’s wrong with my daddy,” Bree said to Patrick as they walked along. She looked worried.

“Why?”

“He didn’t correct me when I said, ‘Me and Patrick’ and then he didn’t tell us to stay out of the stream. He didn’t even tell Beau to go with us.”

“He didn’t need to,” Patrick said logically looking at the big dog who bounded along just ahead of them on the path. “Beau always goes with us.”

“But Daddy always tells us…”

“It’s okay, Bree. We’ll be fine.”

Bree frowned and continued to walk towards the stream.

 

*****
 

Brian stirred fitfully on the blanket. He made little noises and his hands clenched and unclenched. His eyelids fluttered. He moaned.

And then his eyes flew open to see a … a … frog with an alligator head sitting on his chest. Brian yelped and batted the thing away. He ran along the path back towards the cottage with the hideous creature following him. It snapped at his heels with those ominous jaws.

Brian raced into the sun porch calling for Justin. No one answered. He ran to Bree’s room to make sure she was all right. There was no one there. Brian felt his heart pound in his chest. Fear gripped his insides. Where were they? They must be over at John’s. He ran to the other side of the conjoined cottages, yelling for John, Bobby, Patrick, anyone. He got no reply, and the ugly alligator-frog continued to chase him biting at his legs.

 

*****
 

Bree, Patrick and Beau came into the clearing at the stream. Bree stopped in her tracks.

“Dada,” she whispered.

“It looks like he’s asleep,” Patrick said quietly.

“Why is he moving around like that?” Bree asked, as she studied her father’s movements.

“Maybe he’s dreaming.”

“Dreaming’s apposed to be fun,” Bree declared. “He doesn’t look like he’s having fun.”

“Maybe it’s a nightmare.”

Bree frowned. “I don’t like nightmares.”

“Me neither.”

“What should we do?” Bree asked looking to Patrick for guidance. She had a worried look on her little face.

Patrick frowned. “Maybe you should talk to him.”

“’Kay,” she replied slowly. She walked towards her sleeping father. “Dada,” she said gently.

Brian thrashed around, but didn’t respond to her call.

“Dada,” she repeated.

“No,” Brian groaned.

“Dada?”

“No, no, get away from me.”

“Go get my daddy,” Bree said to Patrick. Patrick could see the fear on her face. “I’ll stay with my Dada.”

“Okay,” Patrick said quickly and took off down the path.

Bree stood near the blanket that her father was lying on. She felt sick and scared. She’d never seen her dada like this before. “Dada,” she whispered, “please wake up. Please wake up.” But he didn’t.

 

*****
 

Brian ran as fast as his legs could carry him down the lane to Emmett’s house. That had to be where everybody was. They wouldn’t have all left without telling him. Would they? The alligator-frog nipped at his heels the whole way. Emmett’s cottage came into view.

Brian raced through the picket fence and up to the front door. He grabbed the door handle and tried to open the door. It was locked.

“Emmett, Drew! Where’s Justin? Where’s Bree? Where is everybody?” he called pounding on the door.

No one answered.

“Justin,” Brian moaned. “Justin.”

“I’m here, Brian. Right here beside you. I’ve got you. Wake up, Brian. It’s all right.”

Brian gasped and opened his eyes. “Justin?”

“Yeah, it’s me. I’m right here.”

“Wha…What happened?”

“You were having a nightmare.”

Brian looked around. “But it’s broad daylight.”

Justin chuckled. “Right. You’re down by the stream. You must have taken a nap and fell deep asleep. You haven’t been sleeping so well lately.”

Brian frowned. “You noticed.” There was a touch of sarcasm in his voice.

“I did notice, but you haven’t been in much of a mood to talk about things lately,” Justin accused mildly.

“And if I had been, could you have spared fifteen seconds from your fucking computer?” Brian sat up, pulling out of Justin’s embrace.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Justin asked.

“Figure it out for yourself, Mr. 1500 on his SAT’s,” Brian said harshly. He stood up and practically yanked the blanket out from under Justin. He started folding it up. Justin sighed and tried to grab an end of the blanket to help him. “I can do it,” Brian stated pulling it away from Justin’s hand.

“Brian…”

“Go back to your computer.”

“I think we need to talk about this.”

“What for? It won’t change anything.”

“Brian…”

“I’m fine.”

“You’re not fine, and you scared Bree. The kids found you thrashing around on the ground, and Patrick came to get me.”

“I should have known you wouldn’t come out here of your own volition … to be with me,” Brian said sarcastically.

“That’s not fair. I’ve been busy. You know I always want you.”

“You have a funny way of showing it,” Brian replied abruptly. He finished folding the blanket and turned towards the path. “I better go talk to Bree.”

“Yeah, do that. Then you can avoid talking to me.” Justin watched Brian disappear down the path. He heaved a heavy sigh and followed his husband.

 

*****
 

“Dada, what’s wrong with Daddy?” Brian and Bree had finished dinner, just the two of them. Briana had tried to entice her daddy into joining them but then had given up. Brian made up a plate for his artist and placed it within easy reach of the younger man.

“What do you mean, Squirt?” Brian was rinsing off the plates and loading the dishwasher. Bree was helping.

“Daddy’s been ignoring us,” Bree observed.

“He’s been busy with an idea for a new show,” Brian said reasonably, but he felt just as ignored if not more than Bree did. Justin was spending most of his time on the computer and in meetings in Pittsburgh. Between Sidney commandeering his time in preparation of the “Seasons” show and this new project, Justin rarely came to bed. And even when he did, he would fall into an exhausted sleep before his head hit the pillow. Brian never before had the need to be that well acquainted with his own right hand. Lately, it had been getting quite a workout.

“But this is different, Dada,” Bree said with the perception of a person six times her age.

“Yeah, it is, Squirt,” Brian said with a sigh as he cut up some fruit for their dessert.

 

*****
 

It was early September of 2017; the new school session had begun. The trials and tribulations of the summer were long gone and life for the family was back to normal. Or so Brian thought.

Gus was getting over Cole. He and Raymond had a great two weeks together at the cottage. They hadn’t gotten closer than an occasional kiss and a cuddle but they weren’t in any rush. The items that were stolen from the loft were returned to their rightful owners. The portrait of Bree at Coney Island was once again secure in its place of honor in the alcove of the loft. And true to his word, Brian had the loft apartments painted and the security system updated with the latest technology.

Brian and Bree were up in the attic office reviewing her vocabulary list when the phone rang.

“Kinney.”

“Hi, Brian, it’s Lindsay.”

“Hey, Lindz, how’s my favorite blond?” Brian said as he winked at Bree. Bree waved a hello at the phone.

“I think I’m at least number three on the list.”

“Possibly. Bree is waving hi.”

“Wave hi, back.”

“To what do I owe the pleasure of your call?” Brian asked as he waved and blew a kiss at his daughter. “And please don’t tell me that our son has taken up with another mobster.”

“Oh Brian, stop exaggerating. He’s fine but he is why I’m calling.”

“Go ahead,” Brian murmured as he pointed to another word on Bree’s list for her to copy.

“Gus is going to be seventeen soon and he’s taking driver’s ed this semester.”

“Since when did I become old enough to have a teenager who drives,” Brian moaned with a dramatic sigh.

Lindsay giggled. “Brian, as I recall this is not your first experience with a seventeen year old driver.”

“Thank you for reminding me,” Brian snarked. “I suppose you and your husband want me to buy the lad a BMW or a Lexus?”

“Nothing of the sort. He can borrow one of our cars while he gains driving experience and saves up the money for a car of his own. There’s no free ride around here, Brian. You know that.”

“I know, Lindz, but sometimes I still don’t know what you expect from me.”

“Just your love and support,” Lindsay reassured her best friend.

“Always. So are we doing anything special for him this year?”

“Not really. He did mention something about a nice family dinner.”

“The whole family?”

“Most of it, at Pappaganos.”

“Let me know when and we’ll be there. Is there anything else?”

“I was wondering if you know what Justin has been working on. I’ve heard from some of my contacts at PIFA that he’s been interviewing computer graphic artists and filmmakers. I’m curious. It doesn’t sound like anything he’s done before.”

“No, it isn’t, but I’m not at liberty to talk about it. I’m sure if you can get his nose away from his computer long enough to have a decent conversation, he’ll tell you all about it.”

“Brian, you almost sound jealous. Justin loves you more than his paints, you know that.”

“Hmm. Right now, I’m not so sure.”

“Feeling neglected are we.”

“Yes, we are.”

“Brian, since when have you been in touch with your feminine side?”

“Since the day I learned how to deal with yucky diapers, formula and pigtails.” Lindsay laughed. “You mock me?”

“Never. But I do find it somewhat amusing that the great Brian Kinney can whine with the best of us.”

“I’ve been badly influenced.” There was an unsettling pause in the conversation so Brian cleared his throat. “I have to put the princess to bed.”

“Okay. You doing anything special tomorrow?”

“Not really, just planning to enjoy the rest of the warm weather. Why? You guys want to come up for a visit? John was going to take Bree and Patrick riding. JR might want to go.”

“I’d like that. I’m not sure Mel will come. She’s been working on some preliminaries for Raphael and Hector’s petition.”

“What petition?”

“They’re seriously thinking they’d like to officially adopt Curtis. Melanie is looking into the case. She thinks they would have a good chance if they can present their case to the judge who warded Curtis to the center. Judge Schultz is a gay rights supporter.”

“Then I excuse Mel from the party,” Brian said regally.

“She’ll be so happy to hear it,” Lindsay snarked with a chuckle.

“This is me hanging up now. I’ll see you tomorrow but not before ten.”

“Ten it is. I love you, Brian.”

“Love you too. Night.”

“Good night, Bri.”

Brian hung up then put his daughter to bed.

 

*****
 

“Hey.”

“Hey. I know you, don’t I? Your face looks familiar.”

“Just my face?”

“No, the ass looks familiar too.”

“I’m sorry, Bri.”

“I know, Sunshine, but it’s been a while. I’ve had to take matters into my own hands, so to speak.”

“I can give you a hand, that is, if your own wouldn’t mind.”

“Do you remember how?”

“I think I have a vague recollection. But they do say practice makes perfect.”

“Then by all means, practise away.” Brian lay sprawled on their bed as Justin practised on him for most of the night.
 

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