"Ladies and gentlemen, I called you all in here to say congratulations. Thanks to you, all your hard work and my brilliance, our first quarter profits have gone through the roof, which should make Theodore a very happy man. Maybe I'll be able to pay him. Now, I'd like to discuss our latest account..."

"BRIAN! You have to help me!"

"Hello Claire, so nice to see you. What brings you here, to my humble agency, interrupting my STAFF meeting!?"

"I saaiidd, you have to help me."

"I'd be happy to, you cu, uh, Claire. Why don't you go into my office and I'll join you shortly. Cynthia, would you please show my lovely sister into my office and get her a cup of coffee."

"Right away, Brian. This way Claire."

"Decaf! Now where were we?"

******************************************

"What can I do for you Claire?"

"Brian, the boys have become impossible. I want you do to something."

"Ah, yes, my dear nephews, as evil as ever, are they? What do you expect me to do with them besides hire a hit man? They're your Satan spawn. Why don't you and your wonderful husband do something about them? Or better yet, send them to spend some time with dear old Mom."

"I would if I could and you know that my husband left us. And Mom hasn't been well."

"Humph, that's what happens when you spend your spare time on your knees praying to a whiskey bottle."

"Brian, I always knew you were a son of a bitch..."

"Hold that thought, my private line. Hello? Hey, Sunshine. Hmm, sounds good to me, but uh, let me get right back to you, okay? Later."

"Brian, why are you looking at me like that? What's with that grin, you look like the Grinch. Brian! Stop it!"

"Claire, why don't you send the spawn to camp?"

"Camp? And just where am I supposed to get money for camp?"

"Don't you worry an oily hair on your head; let me take care of that. You just have the little monsters ready with 2 weeks worth of clothes this Friday afternoon. Now, if you'll excuse me, some of us work for a living."

"You know, Brian, you really are a fucking bastard!"

"Love you too, Claire. Bye!"

******************************************

"Yo, big bro, I need your help..."

******************************************

Late Friday afternoon the Jeep Cherokee pulled up in front of Claire's house. Two very disgusted brothers waited on the front porch. John and Peter had been screamed at, threatened and coerced by their mother to get their stuff together and wait out on the porch. She had refused to tell them where they were going or why, just that they would be gone for two weeks and it would be good for them.

Brian stepped out of the Jeep and stared at the two devils in front of him. "Are you ready?" he asked.

"Are you still gay?" John retorted.

"Yes, and I'm still bigger than you."

John frowned and made a face. Brian could tell he wanted to flip him off, but John had learned that fighting with Brian didn't often lead to victory. It led to bigger problems.

Peter had not had that experience so he dared to ask, "What the fuck are you doing here?"

"Taking you away for a lovely vacation in the country," Brian said sweetly.

"I'm not going anywhere with you," Peter replied.

Brian glared at him. He went to the front step and grabbed the two duffel bags sitting there. Justin popped the back door on the Cherokee and Brian threw the bags in. "Get in," Brian ordered, "or I'll throw you in there with the luggage and you can roll around for the next hundred miles."

Peter looked at Brian not believing what Brian had just said. "You can't touch me."

"Watch me," Brian said in a level voice.

"I'm going back inside the house," Peter said standing up.

Claire had been watching from behind the curtains. Peter turned the doorknob only to find it was locked. "Mom," he yelled. "Mom, let me in."

Claire left the door locked but she looked through the window and shook her head. "You're going with Uncle Brian. You can't come back in here."

"Fuck you!" Peter yelled. "I'm not going anywhere with that pervert!"

"I think you are," Brian said standing beside the car with his arms crossed.

"Mom!" Peter said through the door.

"Go with Uncle Brian," Claire repeated.

"Come on, Peter," John said moving towards the Jeep.

"I'm not fucking going," Peter replied stubbornly.

"Okay, John, hop in. Peter can spend the next two weeks on the porch if he wants. I think you'll like this place in the country," Brian said with a grin.

John climbed into the car. He knew he had made a big mistake falsely accusing his uncle of molesting him. He didn't want any more trouble. His mother had made life miserable for him for months after that happened. He had no idea what this trip was all about but he figured he might as well get it over with. Peter could play the asshole if he wanted, but John was pretty sure he wouldn't win this time, not with his mother keeping the door firmly locked.

Peter looked from Brian to his mother and back again. He could tell his mother wasn't about to give in, and John had ceased to be his ally. "Where are we going?" he demanded going to the other side of the car.

"Get in, and in a couple of hours you'll know," Brian said cryptically.

With a huge sigh Peter climbed into the backseat beside John.

"Buckle up," Justin said as he got into the driver's seat.

Brian slid into the passenger side and turned to the back. He looked at his two insolent nephews and with his Grinch grin he said, "John and Petey's excellent adventure is about to begin."

The boys cringed at the look on their uncle's face. What the fuck had they got themselves into?

About an hour later with tension thick enough to cut with a knife and a silence that hung heavy over them all, Justin pulled into a rest stop. He wanted to use the washroom and he wanted to get away from the four eyes that had been boring into the back of his head ever since they got into the car.

"Why the fuck are we stopping here?" Peter demanded.

"Um … you're not leaving us here, Uncle Brian, are you?" John asked with a sudden surge of fear coursing through him.

"Hey, that's a good idea," Brian grinned. "You could practise your foraging skills in the garbage, and when you got bored with that you could try hitchhiking. Who knows who you might hook up with?"

"I have to pee," Justin said giving Brian a dirty look. "If you guys need to go, now's your chance," he added looking into the back seat. He quickly got out and headed for the restrooms.

Brian climbed out and lit a cigarette. He leaned against the Jeep as he took a long drag. These kids were a fucking treat to be around!

He heard John's door open and the boy followed Justin to the restrooms. Peter opened his door doing his best to slam it back against Brian. Luckily for him it didn't reach. Brian suppressed the urge to yank the kid out of the car and hold him upside down over a nearby garbage can.

"Don't break into any of the machines," Brian called as Peter followed the other two inside.

Brian took a couple more puffs of his cigarette and then crushed it out. Justin came back and shortly after so did John. They waited on the sidewalk for Peter to appear.

"Where did Peter go?" John asked after a bit.

"Wasn't he inside with you two?" Brian asked.

"Didn't see him," Justin said. John shook his head.

"Shit!"

"Where could he have gone?" Justin asked.

"He's playing with us," Brian said. "Get in the Jeep. We're leaving."

"But … we can't leave him here," Justin said.

"Watch me," Brian replied and said it loud enough that if Peter was nearby he would be sure to hear. He made sure John was buckled in and then slowly got in himself.

"You're not really leaving him here, are you?" John asked.

Brian could hear the tinge of fear in his voice. He wouldn't leave Peter here for long, but he had to call the bluff or they would be doomed when they got to the farm. Peter would hold the upper hand. "Start driving," Brian ordered.

Justin glanced at Brian's steely face and backed out of the parking space. "You're sure about this?"

"I'm sure," Brian said through gritted teeth. If worse came to worse they could drive to the next overpass and come back for Peter.

Justin drove slowly through the parking area. He was almost to the lane that would take him back onto the interstate when he heard something and glanced in the side view mirror. Peter was running at breakneck speed behind them, screaming for them to stop. Justin grinned and put on the brakes. He saw the little smirk of triumph on Brian's face as he opened his door and yelled at Peter, "Hurry the fuck up!"

"You were fucking going to leave me here!" Peter gasped as he did up he seat belt and tried to catch his breath.

"There's a certain value to punctuality," Brian said. "Don't think you can out asshole me. I own the copyright on being an asshole."

Peter glared at his uncle but he decided not to say anything more. He looked at John who gave him a wan smile. They were both in big doo-doo.

Another hour of silence and they turned into the driveway at the farm. Brian could hardly wait until his charges met their Uncle John. They would shit bricks when they found out another member of their family was a fag.

******************************************

"So who do we have here?" John questioned as he came out of the porch door and gave Brian a fierce hug and Justin a peck on the cheek.

"John, I'd like you to meet my evil, no good nephews. This is John and Peter. I can never remember who's who and it really doesn't matter; they're both equally horrible. Boys, this is your Uncle John."

The boys looked up in horror then did a double take, seeing two pair of hazel eyes staring down at them, John, looking way too much like Brian for comfort.

John, the braver of the two, stood his ground but held out his hand to meet the elder John. Peter, seeing his brother actually being polite, held out his hand too.

"Where's Claire?" Brian asked.

"Out doing errands, she'll be back soon." John answered.

"Are we staying here?" Peter queried.

"Nope!" Brian responded enthusiastically. "You're staying at the best accommodations in town. Go get your stuff, time for a little hike in the woods."

As the baffled and slightly frightened boys got their gear, John, Brian and Justin huddled together to confirm the arrangements. John would lead the boys the long way through the woods to Steve's camp. Brian and Justin would fire up the grill for a little impromptu barbecue that they would enjoy when John and Claire returned.

John led the reluctant campers to Steve's farm.

During the walk Peter began to fire a volley of questions at John, including who he was, how was he related to Brian and didn't he think that Brian was a shit for being queer. John patiently answered all the questions and no, he didn't think Brian was a shit. John wasn't ready to reveal his own proclivities to his nephews, yet.

After an hour of stomping through the woods, John and his exhausted nephews arrived at Steve's camp. Steve, who was in on the arrangements, was there to greet them and show the boys to the bunkhouse.

At first the brothers thought it would be cool to be on the farm thinking it would be an adventure or like in the movies. They thought they would learn how to ride horses and perhaps how to lasso cows. They were in for a big surprise. After stowing their stuff under their bunks they joined Steve who was watching John ride one of the new horses. John, dressed in denim, sitting tall in the saddle looked like a tough cowboy and the boys were beginning to admire their new uncle who appeared to be everything they thought a man should be. And nothing like their Uncle Fag. They whooped and hollered as John rode the steed around the corral. John rode the horse toward them then jumped down. He then gave the lead over to Steve who called over one of the farmhands/counselors.

Addressing the boys, Steve instructed them. "Now, you two go with Bill. You can muck this gelding's stall, brush him down, water and feed him."

"You want us to what?" Peter exclaimed in horror. Little John stood dumbstruck.

"You heard me. Bill will help you. Now go and do a good job if you expect your supper!" Steve winked at John and Bill. "I'll be in to inspect your job. If you do it well then you eat." Bill led the horse and the two stunned brothers to the barn.

"They're going to be a handful those two," Steve said to John.

"Yeah, I can see that. But you'll soon fix it. Brian told me that John accused Brian of molesting him about a year ago, called the cops on him and everything. They're destructive and homophobic. I hope we can change all that."

"Don't worry, John. We haven't lost anyone yet. And they are family. We'll set it to rights."

"I hope so. We're having a little barbecue later on when Mother comes back from her errands. Why don't you join us and we can talk about their itinerary while they're here."

"Sure thing, see you later."

John took the short cut back to the farmhouse to join his brother and Justin.

******************************************

Within 15 minutes John was at the farmhouse sitting on the porch with a glass of iced tea in his hands. "You should have seen the look on their little faces when Steve told them they were going to clean out the stall. It was priceless." The four of them laughed wholeheartedly. Claire had returned and was preparing dinner. "Steve will be over in a while so we can discuss the rest of their chores."

"Justin."

"Yes, Claire."

"I'd like to show you something after dinner. I was looking for a tablecloth that I had packed away. My church is having a jumble sale and I was looking for some things to donate. While I was searching the attic I came across an old trunk. I didn't have time to look in it but I think it may have belonged to the artist Kinney. I know you like a good mystery. Maybe after dinner you and I can have a look in it."

"Oh boy! I'd love to."

Brian let out a little groan. "Claire, you know how he gets. He's like a dog with a bone." Beau looked up at his humans at the mention of a bone. "I have nothing for you, dog." Brian mumbled. Beau grumbled. "Don't get him started on another Sunshine File."

"Brian, you keep telling me I need something to occupy my time."

"I meant school. Okay, go ahead, search the attic. But if you start sneezing all over the place, don't blame me if I don't fuck a snotty twink."

"Briiaan!" Three heads shook in unison.

"What?" Brian stared back.