Culturation

Chapter 6

“What time do the unfettered hordes arrive?” Brian asked as he poured himself another cup of coffee.

Justin laughed. “You know, anyone who wasn’t onto you would think you couldn’t stand having our ever growing family come here for a party.”

“I can’t stand it.”

“Bull!”

Brian raised an eyebrow. Then his face turned thoughtful. “I’ve spent my whole life fighting against family and marriage and social crap, and now I’ve got this humongous extended family who think they can descend upon us whenever the fucking spirit moves them.”

“And you wouldn’t have it any other way,” Justin said. He finished the veggies he had been cleaning to make a tray with a dip. He needed huge amounts to make sure that everyone would have plenty. The masses were certainly expected on Edna’s Treasures Lane to celebrate Richie’s adoption.

“I still would like some privacy occasionally,” Brian threw in, not wanting to give up his complaining about their mega family too easily.

“Like a couple of days ago?” Justin asked with a grin.

“Yeah, that was … nice.”

“Nice!? You call that nice! It was fucking fantastic.”

Brian grinned lasciviously. “Yeah,” was all he said for a minute. “Maybe we could practice some more right now.”

“Now? Everybody will be arriving momentarily.”

“We can lock the door.”

“And when has that ever kept anyone out?” Justin asked with a chuckle, thinking of all the times that Emmett had walked in through the sun porch hallooing them as he did so.

“My point exactly – privacy. We need more.”

“Well I don’t think you’re going to get it today.”

“Or ever,” Brian griped.

“Daddy! Dada!” Bree screeched as the front door of Edna’s Treasures flew open. “You hafta come now. Unca John says Gamma Debbie just came through the gate and everything is ready and you should come right now.”

“Okay, okay,” Brian said. “Slow down, Squirt, and take a deep breath.”

“But you hafta come now.”

“I always come,” Brian said smugly.

Justin glared at him and then said, “Bree, we’re almost ready. Here, you can carry the dip and you can carry the veggies.” He thrust the large tray of vegetables at Brian who stood up and took it meekly.

“Yes, dear,” Brian replied.

Justin closed the door of Edna’s Treasures behind them as they started down the lane.

“Daddy, Richie is so happy to be adopted. Can you adopt me?”

Justin glanced at Brian who blinked but said nothing. “Baby girl, I can’t adopt you because you’re my daughter by birth.”

“Oh,” Bree said dejectedly.

“Dada, can you adopt me?”

“I already have, Squirt.”

“Huh?” Bree asked. She stopped dead in her tracks and turned to look up at her taller father.

“I adopted you when you were born,” Brian admitted. He was already beginning to hate having brought this up, but it was his policy never to lie to Bree. “Daddy is your biological father, so I adopted you to be my daughter too.”

“Really?” she asked. Her little forehead was creased with a deep frown.

“Really,” Brian said. He looked to Justin for help.

“So, you’re adopted just like Richie,” Justin reiterated.

“Can I have a party too?” Bree asked in all innocence.

Brian let out a groan. “Briana, today is Richie’s day in the spotlight. I don’t think you should mention anything about your adoption or about any party other than the one that Richie is having today. Do you understand?” Brian gave Bree a very serious look to show that she needed to think carefully about this.

“It might make Richie sad if I brought it up. Right, Dada?”

“Exactly, Squirt. I knew you were my smart little daughter.” He smiled softly at Bree, but he had felt the need to say that she was his daughter. He didn’t want her to think that because he had to adopt her it made any difference in how he felt about her.

Bree smiled back at her father then, just like her Uncle Ted, she made the motion of turning the lock on her lips and throwing away the key.

Brian and Justin exchanged looks as Debbie’s RV pulled up at the new cottage.

“Gamma Debbie!” Bree shouted. She thrust the dip she had been carrying at Justin and raced towards the big vehicle.

“Do you think she’ll say anything?” Brian asked. He didn’t want to ruin Richie’s day.

Justin shook his head. “She locked her lips. She won’t say anything, but we should talk to her about this whole thing when the party is over.”

“Yeah, I guess we should,” Brian agreed. It was not a topic he was looking forward to talking about. “You’ll be there too?”

“Yes, dear,” Justin said before taking Brian’s hand and walking towards Debbie and Carl’s RV.

“Sunshine!” Debbie greeted Justin, giving him a loving kiss on the cheek. She reached up to kiss Brian’s cheek then followed the kiss with the inevitable love tap.

“Hi, Deb,” Justin said as he kissed her back. Brian rolled his eyes, shaking his head. Justin could be a hundred and two and he’d never lose his ‘Sunshine’ moniker.

“My sweet littlest Sunshine!” Debbie gushed as Bree flew into her arms. Debbie smothered the petite child with kisses.

“Gamma, why do you always call my daddy, Sunshine?” Bree asked within Debbie’s arms, her violet blue eyes open wide.

“Because your father has the most beautiful, sunniest smile I ever saw. When I met him, he was just a boy, a sweet boy,” Debbie said with a wistful expression. “You remind me of him especially when you smile,” Debbie told Bree kissing the top of the child’s head then lightly tapping the tip of Bree’s nose with a finger. Bree’s smile grew wider.

“How’s my son?” Deb asked Brian in a serious tone as they all continued toward the new cottage.

“He’s fine,” Brian answered, resisting the urge to say that he and Justin were fine as well. “All this fresh air is doing him wonders,” Brian snarked wondering would there ever come a day when Brian Kinney wouldn’t be personally responsible for the well-being of his entire family. “How’s the store?” Brian asked, deflecting Debbie onto something else.

“Don’t you know?” Debbie asked. “You and Teddy keep an eye on the books.”

“I don’t get specifics. Schmidt informs me of the bottom line, whether it’s black or red. The rest is up to you, JR and Mikey.”

“Oh, well in that case, we’re doing real well. Candy and Lacy helped to get the latest issue of Rage out with those wacky twins that Justin found,” Deb said referring to Tre` and Troi. “I still can’t tell them apart.”

“Oh Deb, it’s easy,” Brian drawled. “Tre’s the sexy one and Troi’s the cute one,” Brian teased as they all entered the B&B to deposit their party contributions in the large kitchen. Debbie cackled for a moment then made a beeline for her son’s suite of rooms.

Brian sighed as he looked around the large kitchen. It was filling up with all manner of delicacies for the party. Soon the cottage and the whole lane would be teeming with his crazy wittle family. He’d start the grilling soon, even though the weather was still warm. It was September. The days were getting shorter. The family agreed to an early party so that family returning home could go before it became too dark. And now with the new cottage, anyone who wanted to stay over, could.

“Brian?” a soft voice broke through Brian’s reverie. He smiled as Jennifer and Seth came in, adding a large salad to the growing menu. “How are you?” she asked as she pecked his cheek. Seth shook his hand.

“I’m good.”

“Where’s Justin?”

“Bringing more food, I expect,” Brian replied. Jennifer nodded then left to go help.

“This is going to be one of the big ones, isn’t it?” Seth asked as he took in the amount of food already present. More cars were driving up, discharging family laden with platters and containers.

“Yup. One of our personal best.”

“Don’t worry about it, Brian, you’re not alone in this. We’ll all help,” Seth assured Brian with a pat to his back. Brian nodded then went out to greet the new arrivals.

 

*****
 

“Maybe I should have driven up by myself,” Melanie murmured as they approached the gate to Edna’s Treasures Lane.

“Mel, we discussed this. It made no sense for you to drive all the way here in a rented car when we were coming here as well,” Lindsay said logically. “We may no longer be partners but we are still a family!” she said as she triggered the gate with her own code. Mel gave Lindsay a sideways glance.

“He programmed in my own code,” Lindsay explained. Mel needed no further explanation regarding which ‘he’ Lindsay meant.

“Are you sure I’ll be welcome?” Mel asked. The lane was filling up with cars. Lindsay pulled over to the first available space. JR and Candy jumped out as soon as the car stopped. They grabbed the casseroles and pies then scurried up the lane.

“Melanie, the boys want you here. You helped to create a new family. It’ll be fine,” Lindsay reassured her former spouse. Mel smiled. “Come on, they’re expecting us,” Lindsay added.

“I hope the ‘us’ includes me, my dear,” Charles commented from the back seat. Lindsay looked in the rearview mirror, catching Charles’ eye. Charles winked at Lindsay making her blush. Mel rolled her eyes as she got out of the car leaving Lindsay to her new ‘boyfriend’.

“I don’t know what’s worse, watching Charles with his British charm flirt incessantly with my ex-wife or the thought of Brian rubbing my nose in it,” Melanie growled to herself as she marched toward the new cottage.

“Well hello, Melanie,” Brian enunciated, forcing himself to avoid saying ‘Smelly Melly’.

“Brian,” Mel replied as she kept on walking by.

“Something I said?” Brian quipped with an arch of his eyebrow.

Mel stopped then turned to face him. “Brian, can we get through today without verbally assaulting each other?” Brian held his hands up in surrender. Mel started to walk away.

“Mel, you and Bobby did something wonderful,” Brian said sincerely. “I promise I will not bitch at you today. And I don’t...”

“Don’t lie. I know. Thank you,” Mel replied with a small smile.

Brian watched her go inside the B&B. “Of course tomorrow is another story,” Brian mumbled to himself with an evil smirk on his face.

“Brian!”

“Well, well, well, if it isn’t the lovely Miss Lindsay and her beau,” Brian drawled.

“Stop it!” Lindsay said, and Brian could see by her face that she meant it.

“Hello, Charles, lovely to see you again,” Brian said extending his hand.

Charles shook the hand and observed, “This is quite the place you have here.”

“We like it,” Brian said with a smirk. “I could give you the fifty cent tour … if you dare leave the side of your lovely lady.”

“Brian!” Lindsay said ominously.

“I’d love to look around some more. The gardens are glorious even though Fall is almost upon us.”

Brian raised an eyebrow. He had expected to be turned down.

“I’m going to find Emm and Drew and Richie,” Lindsay said. “I want to give them all the biggest hug.”

“I’ll be right in after Brian shows me the highlights of Edna’s Treasures Lane,” Charles said giving Lindsay a peck on the cheek. She blushed deliciously and then hurried off to the B&B. “Where should we start?” Charles asked.

“Let’s head up to our place,” Brian suggested. They started walking.

“Why is this called Edna’s Treasures Lane?”

“It’s named after a lovely lady that Justin and I met in South America. She came to visit us once, and then she died shortly after.”

“It sounds like she had a profound effect,” Charles observed.

“If I can be half as cool as she was when I get to be her age, I’ll be extremely grateful,” Brian replied honestly.

“She was elderly?”

“Very.”

Charles shook his head. “Somehow I never pictured you … hobnobbing with an elderly woman.”

“Neither did I.”

“Then how?”

“I sat beside her on a plane and we got to talking. That was all it took.”

“She must have been something.”

“She was … very special.”

They reached the front door of Edna’s Treasures.

“So you named this special place after her.”

Brian nodded and opened the door. As they walked through the house, Brian told Charles how he had found the cottage, John had rehabilitated it, and then moved his own cottage to the lane. Everything had grown from there.

They walked out to the sun porch which Charles found very interesting. He especially liked the pulley system so that Justin could hang his paintings to dry out of everyone’s way. He could see the new greenhouse and then the gardens.

“The flower gardens are just beautiful,” Charles informed Brian. “You must have an exceptional gardener.”

Brian sucked his lips in. “I do most of the gardening. I designed all the gardens on the lane.”

“You?” Charles looked totally surprised. “I don’t know how you have time to do all this.” He gestured to the gardens at the back of the house.

“I only work at Kinnetik when I feel like it … or when someone fucks up and I have to fix it.”

“From what I’ve heard about your business any fuck up wouldn’t be around long.” Brian Kinney’s reputation was well known.

“You’ve got that right, but things happen,” Brian explained. Then he changed the subject. “There’s a stream down that path by the Wendy house. I’d take you down there. It’s a beautiful spot, but I think I better get you back before Lindsay comes to cut off my balls.”

Charles almost choked at Brian’s description of Lindsay’s possible actions. “I can’t imagine that gentle lady doing any such thing,” Charles admonished.

“Then you don’t know her very well.”

Charles frowned. “You could be right,” he admitted. He was learning lots of things about Lindsay that he hadn’t known before.

“Oh, and by the way,” Brian said as they started back through the house, “if you hurt her, I’ll be ripping off those balls of yours.”

Charles gulped and looked at the man walking beside him. He could tell from Brian’s body language that he was totally serious. Charles stopped walking and touched Brian’s arm. “Brian,” he said seriously, “I have no intention of hurting Lindsay. We just started seeing each other.”

“And she just came out of a very long lesbian relationship. It was a marriage of sorts. Be careful with her.”

“You think she’s on the rebound?”

“I didn’t say that. She has spent a lot of time alone since the break up. She’s not rushing into anything, but she’s human. If you sweep her off her feet, you may be getting into more than you bargained for.”

“I don’t think that would be possible, but I will take things slowly.”

It was Brian’s turn to stare at the man in front of him. Charles certainly sounded quite serious about his relationship with Lindsay. “Good,” was all Brian could say as they started down the lane.

 

*****
 

“And my Daddy and Dada are gonna take me to the symphony,” Bree was telling Riley and Danny. “We’re going to a concert of Mozart,” she added bobbing her head enthusiastically as her ponytail swung around. “It’s going to be so good.” She smiled at Brian when he joined them.

“Ah, the symphony,” Riley said with a faraway look in his eyes. “It’s been years since I actually sat in the audience to listen to a symphony. I usually tune and leave.”

“Then perhaps we should go,” Danny suggested. “I’ve never been to a symphony. All those years on the road never left any time for such things. I could use a little culture.”

“That’s a wonderful idea,” Riley agreed.

“Yeah, wonderful,” Brian griped. It looked like more of the family was going to trail him to the symphony.

“Do you know if there are any tickets left?” Danny asked.

“It’s not like a rock concert, Daniel,” Brian said glumly. “I don’t think it sells out.”

“Oh yes it does,” Riley replied, “especially something like Mozart who is one of the most popular composers.”

“Do you know how to play Mozart, Mr. Riley?” Bree asked. She batted her baby blues at her piano tuner.

“I’ve played Mozart a time or two in my life,” Riley said with a smile.

“Can you play some for me?”

“Not right now, Briana,” Riley replied. “This is Richie’s party. Maybe later.”

“’Kay.” Bree took her leave heading over to JR to tell her sister more about going to the symphony.

“I think we should get tickets for the symphony,” Danny said. “Let’s go talk to Ted.” He took Riley by the arm and they headed out in search of Ted.

Brian stood by the counter in the B&B. He snatched a carrot off the tray that Justin had prepared. He took a bite and chewed. While he did so, he watched Lindsay and Charles across the room. Lindsay was introducing Charles to Ben and Michael. Brian studied Lindsay’s face. She looked … happy. He hadn’t seen her look that happy since Mel had left. Charles seemed to be working wonders with her.

“She really likes him,” Melanie said as she took her own carrot from the tray. She could clearly see what Brian was looking at.

“Yes, I think she does.”

“I … I’m glad she’s found someone.”

“Are you?” Brian asked raising an eyebrow.

“Yes, I am,” Melanie stated and she really tried to mean it.

“Are you happy?”

“Not particularly,” Melanie admitted, “but I’ll be fine.”

“I know you will.”

“Is that a compliment?” she asked in surprise.

“You are a strong woman.”

“Just not the right woman,” Melanie stated turning to look at Lindsay once again.

“No, not the right woman,” Brian agreed. For a moment they both watched the blossoming romance between Lindsay and Charles Higgins.

“I’ll be going back to Portland in a couple of days. Thanks again for the use of the loft.”

Brian shrugged. “Have a good trip,” he said before he went to find Justin.

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