Bad as New

Chapter 1

Brian was tossing and turning, having a horrible nightmare. So many blonds, so little time. He couldn't help them. Brian's arms flailed, searching for Justin. Blood, there was blood. An ever widening pool of blood. Justin, Justin...

"JUSTIN!" Brian sat up with a start. He was sweating profusely, shaking the whole bed as he shivered under the sheet. He couldn't breathe, couldn't breathe.

"Brian! It was only a dream. You're all right. I'm here, I'm here." Justin hung onto his lover, trying to comfort Brian. It was some time before Justin could get Brian to loosen his grip and then he could go for a cool cloth to wipe the sweat off of Brian. Brian held onto Justin as if he were his lifeline. Justin was Brian's lifeline.

"I need a fucking cigarette."

"You haven't had a smoke in over a year."

"Justin, I can have a fucking cigarette if I want to. You can't stop me."

"Don't want to stop you. I just want to know why. What was the nightmare about?"

Justin rearranged the pillows so they could sit up. Brian fumbled around in the bedside table looking for a pack of cigarettes. Brian's hands were still shaking, as he was trying to light up. Justin snatched the cigarette out of Brian's fingers and lit it for him.

"It's stale," Justin commented as he handed the old cigarette over to his trembling husband.

"I don't care. I need it."

"Okay." Then after a time, Justin ventured. "Can you tell me about it?"

"Bad dream."

"I figured. The prom again?"

"Sort of and something more." Brian inhaled the harsh smoke.

"What?"

"Jason Kemp and Hunter."

"They were in your dream?"

"Yeah, and you. There was blood, so much blood."

"Brian, why after all this time? You haven't had a bad dream like that in years. What could have possibly brought this on?"

"Not sure." Brian had a vague idea of what triggered the dream. He wanted to confide in Justin but he didn't think Justin would be too pleased when he heard it. In the dim light of the sunrise, Justin could tell that Brian was hiding something.

"Brian..." Justin said in that tone that told Brian Justin was onto him.

"Fuck! Why do you know me better than I know myself?"

"For the same reasons that you know me better than I know myself. That's the way it's supposed to be. Now spill, Kinney."

"Okay, but if I start talking, you have to promise me not to say a word until after I'm done. I'm serious Justin. I don't think I can do this if you question me. You have to trust me here." Hazel eyes pleaded to blue.

"I promise," Justin whispered. Brian snubbed out the cigarette then nestled down into the mattress. He maneuvered Justin onto his chest so that he could feel Justin's warmth but not look into his eyes as he spoke.

"Okay, here goes. I've been spending a lot of time at Kinnetik. We've gotten a few more high profile accounts and Cynthia wanted me to do my thing. You know what I mean."

Justin nodded on Brian's chest. Sometimes Cynthia just wanted Brian to stand there and look menacing while she made a pitch to a difficult client. It was a good cop, bad cop thing, a bit clichéd but it worked. Some of Brian's long term clients even welcomed dealing with the arrogant 'asshole' for old times sake. Moreover the deal was made even before Brian sauntered into the room. But it was a game he was more than willing to play.

"We started working on The Rage PR, so I really have to spend time there. Oh, by the way, Kinnetik took your suggestion. It turns out that many of the employees have kids, so we turned part of the break room into a nursery. It's perfect because the refrigerator and sink are in there and the restrooms are close by. We've hired two certified baby-sitters for each branch. It works out perfectly."

Justin gave Brian a little squeeze, pleased that his suggestion had panned out.

"I was coming back from the diner one day. You know, through that one alley near the bathhouse when I heard a noise. At first I thought I was going to get mugged. Then I saw this skinny blond boy. Shit, he couldn't have been more than sixteen. He was dirty and had a runny nose. He wanted to blow me for ten bucks. God, Justin, he looked like Jason Kemp, Hunter and you all rolled into one."

Justin wanted to scream at Brian. How could he think that he'd ever whore himself out? Brian sensed Justin's anger.

"I know you would have never done something like that but think about it. What if Craig had thrown you out when you were younger or if you hadn't met me, and some fucker raped you? Things might have turned out different. Not that me being your first was any great prize but I did try to keep you safe."

Justin remained tense until he worked it out in his head. It was true; Brian did try to keep Justin safe. Justin had taken a stupid chance. If anyone else had found him that night, it could have ended very differently. Brian stayed quiet until he felt Justin relax then he went on with his story.

"I wasn't going to let the kid blow me but I just couldn't leave him there. I was only going to give him some money. He watched me take out a couple of twenties and began to drop his pants. He thought I wanted to fuck him, so I dragged him to the bathhouse. I know the owner. And before you say it, yes, he was an old trick and that was way before I met you. But it doesn't hurt to network. So I gave the kid some money and made him and Terrence, that's the owner, a proposal of my own. I made Terry offer him a job and arranged for him to sleep in one of the rooms upstairs. I helped find a room that was habitable. I told Frank, that's the kid, that I'd match whatever Terry paid him if he kept off the street and worked there. The kid thought I was crazy. So did Terry. But I sold them. I didn't think the kid would stick it out. I figured he'd take the money and run, or it would go up his nose or in his veins. But I've checked up on him. The bathhouse never looked better. The place sparkles and doesn't smell half bad. Terry said business has improved and the kid is taking in tips and not for blowjobs, just for handing out towels and condoms."

Brian felt Justin smile against his chest. "Rage saved the day," Justin whispered.

"No, he didn't. I'm not sure I did the kid any favors. Some asshole saw me giving him the money I said I would and thought the kid was hustling. After I left the guy nearly beat the shit out of Frank because the trick wouldn't take no for an answer. Thank the gods, he was near the diner; Debbie scared the john off. She tried to bring Frank inside but he ran off. He finally showed up at the bathhouse. Terry patched him up. But the kid won't talk to me. Terry told me all about it. Justin, I don't know what's gotten into me. I don't know if I did a good thing or made it worse for Frank. Anyway I think that's what caused the nightmare."

Brian let out a long sigh.

"Can I talk now?" Justin asked softly.

"Yeah."

"I think you are a beautiful, sweet, kind and caring man. What you did took guts and maybe one day Frank will realize that. But you remember how stubborn teenaged boys can be. I was stubborn and stupid at times. And look at Hunter, yeah, he turned things around but he had a lot of people helping. And Jason, maybe if he had met someone like you he'd be alive. Brian you can't save the world, but what you did may have saved that boy."

"But I want to do more. What good is having all of this fucking money if I can't do anything good with it?"

"What the fuck are you talking about? You do a lot of good with your money. You support the Vic Grassi House and The Farm. Only God and Ted know of all your other charitable contributions. Brian, you do more than all of us put together."

"But is it enough?"

"I don't know."

"Can we ask someone?"

"Brian, who do you suggest we ask? How do you ask? What are you going to do, go up to the first underage hustler you meet and say, excuse me, how can I make your life better? See, I'm Brian Kinney, aka Rage, and I want to do something with my money."

"Justin, your sarcasm is not appreciated."

"But do you get my point?"

"Yes, dickhead, I get your point. No walking up to total strangers and underage hustlers. With my luck someone will recognize me. Can you imagine the rumors that would, would..." Brian fell silent as an idea suddenly came to him like one of his pitches.

"Would what? What, Bri?"

"Justin, we know an underage hustler."

"We do?"

"Yeah, we do or did. Now he's all grown up and with a master's in Social Work."

"You are not suggesting..."

"Yes, I am. Think about it. Who better than Hunter to ask?"

"But Brian, why?"

"Why?"

"Yeah, why? Why go all through this? Is it just to find out what charities to support or do you have something else in mind?"

"Maybe. Now hear me out. What if I can make part of the bathhouse into an outreach center? Hustlers hang out there all the time looking to pick up tricks before they go in. Terry doesn't give a shit just as long as the business is transacted before they go into the building. He could be arrested for pandering if money changed hands inside the building. Yeah, he cards the kids that look young but anyone can get fake ID. Hunter would be perfect to run the place, give the kids some counseling and make sure they've been tested. Maybe link to the local high school or set up tutoring for GED's. We can put in computers and..."

"Calm down, Brian! You've started up a program before you've even found out if it can be done, before asking Terry and before asking Hunter. You don't have to sell me. But there's a hell of a lot of people you will have to sell including the city of Pittsburgh."

Brian tried to stop his racing heart; he struggled to regain control. But it happened every time he knew he had a winning pitch, the old adrenalin rush. But this time the campaign wasn't for a pair of underwear or some libido pill. This campaign was for life.

"Okay, okay. I'm calm, I'm calm. I'll call Hunter in the morning. Let me pitch it to him first. If he thinks it's a good idea then we take it from there."

"Brian, it is the morning."

"Shit. Do you hear the Squirt?"

"Yeah, she's talking to one of her stuffed frogs."

"You know I could kill my brother for giving her those."

"They're cute, Brian."

"No, they're frogs. And he delights in reminding me about them."

"Big baby."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"I'll show you who's a big baby." Brian pounced and began to tickle Justin until he begged for mercy. Just then Briana decided she had had enough of talking to her frogs and wanted to join in all the fun she heard her daddies having.

"Dada," her little voiced cried out. Brian stopped in mid tickle to retrieve their daughter. After a quick change of Bree's diaper and into a fresh sleeper, father and daughter rejoined Justin in their big bed.

"Dada, dada, dada!" Bree called out as she saw Justin.

"Come here, baby." Justin beamed as Brian placed Briana into Justin's arms. Brian gently pounced, kissing and tickling the two most important blonds in his life.

After a while the three lay exhausted and softly giggling. Then Brian heard the soft rumblings of Justin's stomach.

"Hungry?"

"I could eat."

"You hungry too, Squirt?"

"Ba!"

"Okay, 'ba' it is." Brian said as he climbed out of bed, naked. Justin still holding Bree, noticed Brian's state of undress.

"Bri, one of these days you will have to wear clothes around the Squirt."

"Justin, it's August, it's hot. I like being naked. Besides, she doesn't care."

"I like you being naked too but when she's seventeen and her boyfriends come around to pick her up for a date, trust me, Bri, Bree will care."

"Well, when she's seventeen and has boyfriends, I promise to put on some clothes. For now, I prefer to be comfortable in my own home. Let's go make breakfast."

"Yes, Brian. But I'll do the cooking. Don't want your naked ass to get singed."

"Fine, Bree and I will have our juice, won't we?" Brian stated as he took his daughter from Justin and carried her into the kitchen, still naked.

"Ba!" Briana agreed. Justin laughed, shook his head and followed them down the hall to the kitchen.

Once breakfast was over, Brian decided to place his call to Hunter at the Farm. He wondered if he would be able to get Hunter to agree to his plan. He dialed Hunter's cell.

"Hello," Hunter answered after a couple of rings. He sounded like he was out of breath.

"How's the new Master of Social Work?" Brian asked with a smirk.

"I see that look on your face, Kinney," Hunter laughed. "There's no such thing as Master of Social Work."

"What should I call you, oh exalted one?"

Hunter giggled. There were some perks to having his degree. Having Brian Kinney call him 'oh, exalted one', was not the least of them. "I have a master's in Social Work," Hunter said slowly.

"I see there's a very fine distinction there."

"What do you want, Brian, other than to tease me?"

"I might have a use for your newly acquired credentials."

"What … what are you talking about?"

"Are you busy?"

"You mean other than shoveling some shit in the barn?" Hunter laughed.

"Well, if you accept my invitation, please shower and scrub up really well."

"What invitation?"

"For you to come to dinner tonight. Can you?"

"I … I guess so. What is this all about?" Hunter asked bewildered. Brian had never asked him to dinner, especially not alone.

"If you come to dinner, I promise to explain, you get a delicious meal and you can play with the Squirt for half an hour."

"That sounds like an offer that is impossible to refuse," Hunter laughed.

"Then we'll see you around six?"

"Sure, I'll be there," Hunter said. He closed his phone, looked at it with a shake of his head and then went back to cleaning out the stall.

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