Chapter 5

^^^^^^^^

"Daddy!" Briana cried as she climbed up onto her father's bed. "Daddy," she repeated patting Justin's cheek. "Daddy."

"What?" Justin asked as he turned on his side and buried his face in his pillow.

"Up."

"Not yet, Bree. It's early. Lie down here beside me."

"No, up!" she commanded.

"Sweetheart, it's too early."

"Play," Bree said. "Daddy, play with me."

"No, Bree, I'm tired. Lie down here and be quiet for a little while."

"Play!"

"No," Justin said and buried his face in his pillow.

Bree studied her father. She frowned wondering why he wouldn't get up and come play with her. She didn't like this at all. She sat still staring at him for quite a while. She wondered if she should start crying. That usually got her what she wanted, but it did work better on her Dada than on her Daddy. She sat for quite a while staring at her father. He seemed to have gone back to sleep. There were funny little noises coming from his mouth.

Tentatively she patted Justin's face. When he made no response, she knew he wasn't going to get up and play with her. She scooted to the edge of the bed and then turned around. She took a last look at her father and then dropped her legs over the edge of the bed. She managed to get her feet down on the floor and she ran back to her room.

"Muñequita!" she cried as she ran over to her bed and grabbed her dolly. "You play with me."

Bree took her dolly by the arm and headed back down the hall and into the sun porch. She looked around trying to decide what she wanted to play with. She went over to the open mouth of the big green frog that John had modified to be the toy chest for her and Patrick. She rummaged through the toys looking for something that would catch her attention. After flinging several toys onto the floor of the sun porch, she decided there wasn't anything in there that interested her. She looked around and saw the flower beds outside that were in full bloom.

"Gar-gar," she said to her dolly. "We do gar-gar, Muñequita," she said triumphantly. She picked up her dolly and headed for the door.

The handle was a long way up but if she stood on her tippy-toes she could just reach it. She did her best to push the door open but nothing would happen. She tried pulling it instead, but it wouldn't budge. She hit it with her little fists a couple of times but that didn't accomplish anything and it hurt her hands. She put her foot against it and pushed but it still wouldn't open.

"Bad!" she said aloud. "Bad door!"

She plopped down on her little bum looking out at the flower beds that were so near and yet so far. After a minute she picked up her dolly and gave her a hug.

"Come on, Muñequita, we figure something out."

She marched back into the house and to the front door. She reached up for the knob and turned it as far as she could. It turned but it wouldn't budge. She stomped her foot in frustration. She tried it a couple more times before deciding that it wasn't going to open.

"Bad door," she proclaimed. "Doors are bad, Muñequita."

Dragging her dolly by her arm she headed back to the sun porch. She stopped at her father's now open bedroom door and watched him sleep. She could yell and wake him up. But then he would be mad and he wouldn't play with her or let her do gar-gar.

She went out into the porch and looked at the door that led to Patrick's side of the house. He could help her get outside, but that door was closed too.

"Bad door," she repeated.

Then she spied the plants that surrounded the brass bed in the corner of the sun porch. With a little smile she and her dolly headed in that direction. She sat down beside one of the big pots and stuck her hands in. The soil felt good but not as good as it did outside. It was quite dry. She left Muñequita sitting by the pot and went back into the kitchen. She looked up at the watering can on a high shelf. She knew that was what her daddies used to water the plants, but she knew she could never get up that high.

After thinking for a minute she ran down the hall to her bedroom and into her bathroom. She stood on her little stool, took the plastic glass she used for rinsing her mouth after brushing her teeth and filled it with water. Carefully she got down off the stool holding the glass of water with her two hands and made her way down the hall and into the porch. She didn't notice the trail of water she had left behind her. She dumped what remained of the water into the pot and watched it disappear immediately. She'd have to get some more.

Back she went to her bathroom and returned with another glass of water. She dumped it onto the dirt in the pot and watched it disappear too. She'd have to get another glassful.

She ran back to the bathroom and filled the glass again. This time the water took longer to disappear. She stuck her hand in the dirt and felt it squish through her fingers. That was the way it was supposed to feel. That's how it felt when she worked outside with her Dada. With a satisfied smile she looked around the porch.

There was a little pot with a violet that someone had brought recently. Maybe that flower would like it better under the tree in the big pot. She walked over to the stand where the violet was sitting and brought it back to the pot. She set it down on the floor and dug her hands into the now moist soil.

She liked the feel of dirt. It reminded her of her Dada. She wished he was there to help her. It was much easier to do gar-gar when he was. He could reach all the high places and open doors and carry water.

She pulled both of her hands out of the pot and looked at the soil that coated her fingers. She put her hands back in and made a hole like her Dada did when he was going to plant something. When she had a hole made she took the pot with the violet and turned it upside down to get the flower out. It immediately fell on the floor.

"Oops," she said with a little giggle.

She picked it up and tried to scoop up some of the dirt that had been knocked off. Finding that the dirt was dry and slid through her fingers, she abandoned that job and stuck the violet into the hole she had made in the big pot. She squeezed the dirt down around the plant and stood back.

"Now grow, you fucker," she said decisively remembering that was what her Dada sometimes said when planting didn't go quite the way he wanted it to.

Suddenly she remembered that her Dada always watered the plants after they were put in the soil. She wiped her hands down the front of her jammies and picked up the glass from her bathroom. Two more trips back and forth to the bathroom and she was satisfied that the new plant had enough water.

"Good," she said surveying what she had done. She let out a big yawn and stretched. She wiped her hands down her clothes again and looked at the brass bed. Gar-gar was hard work all by herself. She decided maybe she would lie down on the bed for a few minutes. She was tired. "Come, Muñequita," she said as she crawled up onto the bed leaving a trail of wet dirt behind her. She laid her head down on the pillow and wrapping her arms around her dolly she promptly fell asleep.

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"Justin," John said tapping on Justin's open bedroom door. He could see the man sleeping. "Justin," he repeated.

"Um … yeah, what is it, John?" Justin sat up and looked at the clock. "Shit! It's almost nine. I was painting last night and didn't get to bed until like three."

"That's okay, but I'm running late too. I need to go into Harrisburg, and you were going to look after Patrick. Bobby's already gone."

"Has Patrick had his breakfast?"

"Yeah, he ate with us? What about Bree?"

"Um … she hasn't eaten yet," Justin said remembering that Bree had tried to get him up at some point. He glanced around the bed and on the floor looking for her.

"That's not like her. Usually she wants her breakfast right away," John observed.

"She wanted to play, but I told her no. I wonder where she is."

"Patrick went down to her room to get her," John explained.

"She's not there," Patrick said running back to his father.

"Fuck! Where is she?" Justin cried as he hauled himself out of bed.

"She has to be around here somewhere," John said reasonably.

The three of them did a quick search of the house looking for Bree. She was not visible in any of the rooms.

"You're sure she didn't go over to your house?" Justin asked starting to panic.

"The door was closed. Were all your doors closed and locked?" John asked.

"I think so," Justin said checking the front door which was secure. "Why do my feet feel wet?" He had not bothered to put on any shoes or slippers when he started looking for Bree.

John looked around. "There seems to be a trail of water and dirt going down the hall."

They followed it to Bree's bathroom and looked around carefully. She wasn't there, but they noticed the dirt in the sink.

"I wonder what she's been doing," Justin mused, but that consideration could wait until they found her.

"Let's follow it the other way," John suggested.

They proceeded back down the hall and into the sun porch. That was when they noticed the violet planted in the big pot that held a small ornamental tree. There was a pool of wet soil beside the pot.

"Gar-gar," they all said together.

"Here she is," Patrick said looking behind the screen that hid the brass bed.

John moved the screen and they saw the dirty, but contented little girl sleeping peacefully in a pool of grime in the middle of the bed. In spite of the mess they all smiled.

"I'm going to kill Brian if I can't get that mud out of the bedspread," Justin said with a laugh as he picked up his daughter.

Her eyes opened and she whispered, "Gar-gar."

"I know, sweetheart. You've had a hard morning doing gar-gar. Let's get you cleaned up."

"You go ahead to work, John, and thanks for helping me find her.

"No problem," John said as he kissed Patrick's head and went back to his side of the house.

Justin stripped Bree and put her in the bathtub. Patrick took a cloth that Justin gave him and wiped up some of the water in the hallway. Justin would have to scrub the floor later. When everything was cleaned up to some extent, including Bree, Justin sat her at the kitchen table.

"Time for breakfast."

"Hungry, Daddy," Bree said banging the table. She was using the right words more and more.

Justin opened the cupboard and took out some cereal. He opened the dishwasher to get Bree's favorite dish.

"Daddy," Bree called.

Justin stood up to look at his daughter and promptly whacked his head on the cupboard door which was still open. "Ouch," he yelled rubbing the tender spot.

"Daddy … hurt?" Bree asked with a look of fear.

"I'm okay," Justin assured her continuing to rub the spot.

"Kiss the boo-boo," Bree said holding out her arms.

"You want to kiss it and make it better for me?"

Bree nodded and Justin bent over so she could kiss his head. "Better, Daddy?"

"Much better," Justin said kissing her cheek.

"Bad door," Bree stated giving her best Kinney glare to the still open cupboard door.

^^^^^^^^

Brian was making the long drive back to the cottage from Pittsburgh. He had dropped Gus home where Lindsay was waiting. The minute his feet hit the door jam Gus was babbling non-stop about all the sights they had seen and the fun that he had had. Gus reached into his messenger bag, an accessory he seemed to have acquired lately, to pull out his digital camera. He then began to give his mother a visual accounting of their trip.

"Gus, why don't you download all the pictures and email them to me? Justin would love to see them," Brian instructed. He wanted a few minutes alone with Lindsay.

"Okay, Pop! And thank you again for the trip. I had a great time." Gus gave his dad a fierce hug then ran up to his room.

"Wow, I haven't seen him that enthusiastic in a very long time," Lindsay remarked. "I guess he must have really had a good time."

Brian nodded. "It was great and Gus is a perfect gentleman. I was so proud of him. You and Mel have done a great job raising him."

"Brian, we didn't do it all alone, you know. You did help."

"Not as much as I should have."

"Oh, Brian, that's not true. So, you had a rough start but when it really counted, you've always been there for Gus. I know it and Gus knows it too." Brian allowed that to sink in for a few moments as he worked up the courage to discuss an idea with Lindsay.

"Lindz, can you make some coffee. It's a long drive back and I'm a little tired."

"Sure, let's go in the kitchen."

As the coffee maker was bubbling away, Brian broached the subject.

"Um, Lindz, do you have any plans for Gus this summer?"

"Nothing specific. He was thinking of getting a part time job. Why?"

"I'd like him to work at Kinnetik. As an intern, a paid intern. More like a go-fer but he'd get to see what the advertising business is really like and I know he's interested in graphic art."

"Have you asked him yet?"

"No, not really. We skirted around the subject but I wanted to run it by you first."

"Brian..."

"Look, Lindz, I'm not the old Brian. I don't go around fucking with interns and Cynthia really runs this office and she won't stand for any shit. He'll follow the rules like everyone else. We're even hooked up with PIFA. They send us kids all the time. It's all above board. He won't be shown any favoritism. He uses your name so most of the employees won't even know he's my son. Please, Lindz, I want to spend more time with him and other than weekends when he's helping me garden, I just don't get the chance."

Brian turned the puppy dog eyes on Lindsay and she immediately melted.

"I know. And you're right; you're not the old Brian. I know the interns are treated with respect at Kinnetik. It's not Vangard. I have contacts at the art department at PIFA. The students all come back with rave reviews after they do their rotation at Kinnetik. The professors get back excited students. And it shows in their work. Let's call him down and ask him together."

Brian let out the breath he had no idea he was holding and hugged the mother of his son closely.

"I love you, you know," Brian whispered into the perfectly coiffed blond hair.

"I know and I love you too. Peter Pan grew up." Brian felt Lindsay smile into his chest.

"Yeah, I guess he did. Let's go ask Gus."

"Ask me what?" Gus caught his parents in their clinch and grinned. He was still confused about his and sometimes his parents' sexual orientation but he wasn't confused about the love they had for him or for each other.

Lindsay stepped back and turned to face her son. Gus was already as tall as she and was soon going to be Brian's height.

"Your father has something to ask you."

"Yeah? What, Pop?" Gus was already bouncing on his toes with excitement. He was hoping this was going to lead to him spending more time with his dad.

"Your mother said that you were thinking of getting a summer job."

"Yeah, I was going to ask Grandma Deb about the diner."

Brian slumped, just a little with disappointment but then Lindsay poked him in the ribs. With her eyes she told him to ask Gus anyway.

"Um, do you really want to work there?"

"No, but I could use the money. There's some new programs and computer games I really wanted to buy. Why?"

"What would you say about working at Kinnetik? You'd be an intern and take all your direction from Cynthia or her designee."

"Kinnetik?! No shit? I mean, really?"

"Yeah, no shit." Brian grinned as Gus practically threw himself into Brian's arms.

"Oh boy! When do I start?" Gus reached for his mother for a three way hug.

"Come to the office next Monday, we'll work out the details then. And Lindz, would it be okay if I steal Gus later in the week. We're going to build a Wendy house."

"A Wendy house?" Lindsay asked her Peter Pan.

"You know, Wendy," Brian started in that little boy voice he saved only for Lindsay, "a little cottage just for us kids." Lindsay laughed and thanked her lucky stars that Brian Kinney would always be Brian Kinney.

"Okay, Peter." They all hugged again. The coffee was ready, so Brian had a large mugful before starting the drive to the cottage.

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It was early evening by the time Brian got back to the cottage but the sun was still shining brightly in the late spring day.

"Honey, I'm hooome!" Brian called out as he entered the front door. Only silence greeted him.

"Justin. Justin?" Brian had a moment of panic as he dropped his bags and went to search for his spouse and daughter. Claire greeted him as he entered the sun porch.

"Hi, Brian."

"Claire? What are you doing here?"

"Is that any way to greet me?" Claire gently admonished the man who had better manners than that.

"I'm sorry," Brian said contritely.

"You're forgiven. Now before you queen out on me, the kids are out in the garden having a little snack. Justin's lying down."

"Lying down? What happened? Is he sick?"

"No, sweetheart, just tired. Look." Claire swept her arm to indicate the studio side of the cottage. There were a dozen canvasses all in various stages of work. "He was up working all night. John called me this morning. Miss Briana was a little impatient when her daddy didn't wake up at her convenience. She decided to try her hand at gar-gar." Claire pointed to the pot that held a tree and its new violet companion.

"Uh oh."

"Yes, uh oh. Everything sorted itself out but John thought it best that I come by today."

"Thank you." Brian gave the women a hug and a kiss. He looked outside and then toward the bedroom door. Brian was torn. He missed his daughter but he missed Justin so much. He didn't sleep very well these past few days. He had grown accustomed to sleeping with Justin in his arms. Brian sighed loudly. Claire chuckled at his dilemma.

"Go say hello to Bree then go take a shower and lay down with Justin. You look like you're about to drop." Brian smiled brightly and nodded.

"You're a very wise woman, Mrs. McNally. Lucky for Steve I'm gay, or I would have married you myself."

"Go! Out!" Claire laughed.

"I'm going, I'm going." Just before he stepped through the door, Brian had an idea. "Is Bobby at the office?" Claire nodded. "Why don't you have him pick up Steve after work, we can all have dinner together."

"That would be lovely. I'll make the calls while you rest."

Brian went out to the garden to find his daughter and his nephew.

^^^^^^^^

"Brian?" Justin whispered sleepily as he felt his lover curl up around him.

"The one and only," Brian whispered into the blond hair. He inhaled deeply savoring the scent of Justin mixed with traces of paint and turpentine.

"Missed you."

"Missed you too, Sunshine."

"Bree?"

"With Claire."

"'Kay. Bri?"

"Shh, sleep now, we'll do dinner with everyone later."

"Okay." Justin snuggled closer draping an arm and leg possessively over his lover then drifting back to sleep.

Brian was exhausted but his mind was racing, not letting him sleep. He kept going over the events of their second honeymoon, the revelations they both made. And over his conversations with Gus. New York was also beckoning. Were Kinnetik and Brian Kinney ready to take on New York? Everything Brian wanted was in his arms and living in their cottage. How could he go to New York? And was Brian Kinney good enough to make it there?

"Brian."

"Yeah."

"Tell your gerbil to shut up now; he's keeping me awake." Justin gently kissed Brian's nipple and hugged the older man closer. "We'll figure it out."

"Okay." Brian knew Justin had no idea what he was thinking but then he didn't need to. Justin knew Brian. Brian gently caressed the pale skin then fell into a peaceful sleep.

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